Not in the Mood Today.

How dumb are people?  Ok.  They aren't dumb.  But the failure to see the connection here.....let me proceed.

John Tortorella,  coach of the USA mens hockey team says that if his players don't stand for the national anthem they will sit on the bench the rest of the game.  He has a right to make that rule.  But a player also has the right to sit.  So a coach, who has a job because of the players, is taking their rights away.

Do you see what forcing someone to stand for the national anthem is doing?  CONFORM or you will be punished.  If you don't stand for this song, we'll punish you!  We'll take all that you've worked hard for and sit it on the bench.  How is that creating an all for one, one for all mentality?  Sounds like....a dictatorship.

Do you think it's good for someone to force sex on someone?  Scenario...you have a couple who are committed to each other and love each other.  They both have some flaws, but one of them is a bigger Jerk than normal that day.  Other is a little hurt by Jerks actions.  Jerk tries to force sex and succeeds.  Other doesn't really like it but knows Jerk wants it.  So Other obliges.   What if this continues to happen.  Jerk knows it will still be rewarded even if they don't address their jerkiness.  And Other just begins to assume that this is how it's supposed to go.  We'd all encourage Other to stop letting Jerk have their way.

It's basically the same thing.  If you force someone to do something against their will they won't truly appreciate the meaning behind the thing.

So...John Tortorella, you are in the same boat as Colin Kaepernick.  Better make friends.  You want people to show honor to America and it's women and men in uniform.   Forcing someone to stand during the national anthem won't do that.  Kaepernick wants to draw attention to the racism and oppression in america and the prejudice against black people from some police.  Not standing during the national anthem wasn't the best way to make significant change.  But the difference...he listened and changed.  He is now kneeling as a nod to our brave soldiers but showing that he's still not willing to turn a blind eye to the level of racism in this country.

I get what Tortorella is trying to do.  They play for team USA hockey.  But, they are hockey players. They got there because they are good at hockey.  Forcing someone with a threat to their livelihood seems like the most UN-american thing I can think of.

Because I'm that guy...I'd stand.  But I'd face away from the flag.  I stood, which is what he said to do.  But he didn't say anything about facing the flag.  And again, it is not a disrespect to soldiers.  It's a nod saying, "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.  And I won't forget the men that died that gave that right to me.  And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.
cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God bless the U.S.A."  There are people in america that still need their rights fought for.  And those rights are threatened by, other americans.  So my turning away from the flag would be my shot at Tortorella saying that he doesn't own me.  The mans on a huge power trip.

But whatever...if you don't understand where my heads at at this point....I don't know what to do.

Bottom line.  Don't force people to have sex with you.

Are You STILL?

A few nights ago I was having a pleasant conversation with a friend I hadn't talked to in several years.  It was nice catching up, he has a few children that are older than mine and it was nice getting some tips on the things that happen as they get older.

The conversation started with the typical....What have you been up too?  Or, Are you still (insert line of work here)?

Well..to recap several years of what have you been up to over the last several years would take hours. So it's always a fairly awkward answer.  I think so anyway.  I would love to take hours and talk about the last several years of life.

But the thing that caught my thinking...was the "are you still...." question.  Usually about work.  And while it's never implied, I don't ever want it to be implied.   Or maybe it's just me.

I guess you could say I've been painting when I was 14.  I started one summer painting for my grandfather.  I'll never forget that first paint job.  For one main reason.  At the house we were painting, there was a stack of playboys in the magazine rack in the bathroom.  No joke.  He never made any mention of it, and neither did I.  I didn't continue my painting career that summer, but moved on to part time jobs, and a light duty home remodeler for a year or two after high school.  But for the past 15 years, it's  been solid painting.

I know how to paint.  Am I the best?  Nope.  Do I claim to be?  Nope.  But you'll get an amazing paint job from me.

Just this past year or two I've raised my prices, considerably.  I guess you could say I finally brought my costs up to fair market value.  Some would say I'm still too cheap.  I never really imagined myself as a professional in any field.  But I guess you could say I am a professional house painter that specialized in interior residential repaints.   It's still hard to imagine myself being successful.  I've never been celebrated or rewarded for any major success.  I've never been the best at anything.  I've never been a professional status of anything.  I've always felt like an imposter.  That there is always someone critiquing my work and that they'll find something wrong.

But I am professional in my field.  I just don't really know how to run a business.  Nor do I know how to charge people.  I don't know what people will pay to have their house painted.  I wouldn't pay anything.  But I'd pay to have someone replace the transmission in my car.  I'd pay to have someone install kitchen counters.  I'd pay to have someone repair my hvac system.  And I never really question the costs to do so.  I trust that they are being fair and honest.  So why wouldn't someone else pay to have their house painted?  

I guess what I'm saying is...if you pay for a service and you question the cost.   Could you survive on that?  Could you live off of what you are paying the one man show to do the work in your house?  If not, I'd say you are getting fair price.  That is their career.  It is their profession.  It is what they do to feed their family and pay for a house.  It also involves all the costs of running a business.

So don't ever be ashamed if you are "still" doing something.  That's usually a pretty good sign that you are really good at what you do.

I'll leave my big corporate greed/minimum wage post for another day or someone who's a professional in that field.

Oh.  AND NEVER ASK A PROFESSIONAL HOUSE PAINTER TO COME TO A "PAINTING PARTY".

Do people even think?

I wonder.  People can be really stupid.  Insanely stupid.

Let me explain.  Last year I ran a lot on the Appalachian Trail.  There were no stupid people on the trail.  When I would some running on the road, I would see a ridiculous amount of people with their heads down looking at their phones.  Listen....when all I see is your eyelids, you aren't being discreet. You're gonna kill someone.  When you run, you see the cars coming ahead of you and can adjust your path accordingly.

This year I've been more prone to cycle.  I do mountain biking.  I haven't seen a single stupid person mountain biking.  Except for the ones that don't wear helmets.  OH wait...I don't see that.  Except for me that one time when I forgot.  The other time, I rode a mile back to the car to get it.  When I ride on the road, it' much scarier then mountain biking.  *I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but you are supposed to ride your bicycle with the direction of traffic.*  If you get on a bike.  Learn the rules of the road.  OH, and put on a damn helmet.  Stop at red lights.  Stop (ok, or use really good judgement) at all stop signs.  I come to as much of a stop as any car out there on the road at stop signs.

But lets get to the drivers....I still see you with your heads down.  I see it in the way you control your car on the road.  If I ever catch up to you and find you, I will destroy your phone.  You see, you think it's ok.  But on the right side of the road, there are people legally using it.  And you favor the right side when you are on your phone.  You will kill someone.  Let me repeat that.  YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE.   On my 60 mile jaunt on the road bike, I only had one car that didn't see me and was ridiculously close.  The bumper sticker had a christian quote on it... "Are you prepared for eternity?" How ironic.

Oh...and lets talk about the walkers.  Do you know how many people are just walking down a busy road with their heads down stuck to their phones?  Many.  That's more than one and less than all of them.

There are people all around you.  If you aren't paying attention, you could kill someone or you could die.  Slow down, put your phone down, and keep you eyes and mind on the task at hand.

1 of 2.

2 of 2 may or may not happen today.  We'll see.  I'm not feeling much like a blog this morning.  My coffee isn't that good.  I'm a little disappointed.  It's palatable, but not what I'm used to.  Perhaps I'll get used to it.

Yesterday was great.  I woke up and wrote about Kaepernick again and how he's showing a tremendous amount of maturity.  Then I went on a 60 mile road bike ride.  Followed up by a picnic with my wife's family.

And Tom Brady...playing without an NFL logo on his helmet?  A clear violation of uniform policy.  He has no problem collecting a paycheck from his play in the NFL I'm sure.  We all know the NFL is only about making money.

OH!!!!  There's a topic.  A topic to big for me to write about.

#iwillalsokneelwithyou

It's like a version of Tebowing.

Week 4 of the preseason came, and Colin Kaepernick stood his ground.  Or should we say sat his ground.  Oh wait, we can't say that either.  He knelt during the playing of the national anthem.  He also stood an applauded the military when the time came for their appreciation.

During the press conference he mentioned that he wasn't thrilled the way the media spun his actions as anti-military.  But he listened.  Had a talk with, Nate Boyer, a former green beret.  They decided a better way to proceed was to kneel as a nod to the military.  

He also put up his first one million dollars to community organizations.

Let's re-Kaep,  CK sits during national anthem.  People lose their shit.  Saying he's anti american, anti-military, mooching off his half white privilege having being raised by two white parents who adopted him, and he makes to much money to care or know what oppression is.   Several groups, including veterans called those others on said shit and supported CK.  Says you don't need to like it, but he's expressing his right.  Many Veterans even stood behind him.   And we've had a week of talking about CK and what he did instead of why he did it.   Sure, those conversations happened, but may have got lost among the others.

But you can't please everyone.  Some are saying he's only doing kneeling or donating because of the media pressure.

C'MON MAN!   Just stop.  He's listening.  He's someone that wanted to do something.  And that something was a not so great attempt.  So he heard the criticisms, heard the advice, and is changing his tactics.  He's compromising.  He's adjusting how he's taking a "stand" to not have collateral damage.  Well done Kaepernick.

I think we can learn some valuable lessons here.  When someone does something for the first time, regardless of how old they are, we shouldn't judge them as though they are an expert.  Just because they are a professional in their craft, they are still people just like you and me.  These athletes live and breath football or whatever their sport is.  And as consumers of those sports, we've defined these athletes as only athletes.  They are people with families, with a history, with emotions, with other interests and we need to remember that.  They aren't perfect.  Just like we aren't.  But they are on a bigger platform.  They have that, unlike many of us.  We only have a handful of people.  Imagine if one of my blogs went viral.  I'd be ripped to shreds.  I don't think I could handle that.  I've had a few people call me some nasty things by something I've read.  But I have to let it roll off.  They don't know me.  They don't know my heart.  What they say speaks more about them then it does me.  And I need to be sensitive to that.

I could be totally wrong about everything I've said about Kaepernick.  And so could you.  None of know him or where his heart is on this matter.  But it looks as though he's serious.  And he's listening and learning about a good way to move forward.

To believe or not to believe? Can we have faith in humanity?

I haven't really talked about what I believe in regards to anything "spiritual", "faith based", or religion type stuff lately.  Perhaps because it's not been that important to me.  Perhaps because it's not been a concern of mine as of late.

I know a few weeks ago I said I don't believe in the christianity that I used to believe in.  Several people were concerned, said sorry and they'd pray for me.  I basically told them to save it.  Not be sorry and if their prayers did anything, it's most likely not what they intended.

But that's cool.  If you want to pray.  Awesome.  If you go to church, awesome.

I would say the biggest thing I've learned.  Don't do things out of guilt.  If you find yourself praying or reading your bible because if you don't, you'll let someone down.  Stop.  You won't let anyone down.  In fact, whomever you feel like you'd be letting down would probably appreciate if you did those things because you enjoyed them, not out of obligation.  If you don't like going to church, stop going.  Church isn't supposed to satisfy every need.  There are multiple ways to connect with the God you seek.  There are multiple ways to connect with people.  Church is only one of them.  Churches cater to the larger demographic of people.  Meeting together, singing 3-4 songs, having a sermon and singing another song can be great for some people.  But I would venture to guess that half of them would rather not be there.  That's a problem that needs addressed.  Some would say they go to support their spouse or significant other.  Well...go back up to the obligation part.  While it is a nice gesture, you shouldn't have to go for that.  I can see if your spouse was going to be performing and they wanted your support.  I'm incredibly happy to have a wife that understands that church and I just don't jive anymore.  But I'm very spiritual.  I have my own ways to center on a sunday morning and we each do our thing.


Over the past few months/year I've been getting these little signs that would be a stretch to be coincidence.  Signs that pointed me on this path that I'm on.  I'm not saying it was God.  I'm not saying it wasn't.  But I feel pretty fucking great.  The more I separate from anything like institutionalized religion, the better I feel.  The more I venture back in a little closer, the more frustrated I get.   I'm not saying it's bad...don't get me wrong.  It's just a feeling I get.  The jury is still out.  For others, church and it's various branches are very helpful for where they are in their life. And I want to be careful not to criticize that.  Just like I don't want people to see where I'm at and tell me I'm doing it all wrong.  Just because you don't understand what someone else is doing, doesn't mean it's wrong.

I've been to several different church communities over the past ten years.  And they've all done things differently.  Believed different things too.  I guess you could say I had a traumatic experience.  And then, if you throw Amway/URA into the mix and their deranged christian value spin on business/patriotism....it's no wonder my view of christianity was so flawed.

And now, I feel like if there is a God, God's got me right where God wants me.  Or better yet.  I've gotten myself right where I'm supposed to be.  I was listening to a podcast a few days ago and one of the guests was talking about Kaballah.  It sounded very intriguing.  But he talked about the second coming of the messiah.  I'm not sure of details.  But I hear many sects of the christian faith (there's a huge problem, sects of the same faith) talk about the second coming.  I don't think there is going to be a second coming.

Jesus comes back every time you take care of the least of these.  When you clothe the naked.  When you feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty.  Jesus comes back when you can help an orphan get an education, have a roof over their head, and food in their belly.  Jesus comes back when you see someone who's in need and you help them.  Even in the smallest of ways.  Catching an eye of someone with a frown and flashing them a smile.  Jesus comes back when you stop and listen.  Even if it's stopping to listen to someone who's being an asshole.  Of all people, they need someone to meet them where they are.

Stop looking for Jesus.  Start being Jesus.  Do you believe we've been given the earth to take care of? This includes people.  Not just plants and animals.  We are not all equal in this world.  Not even close.

Have a great labor day weekend.

Randomlings about a few topics.

A few days ago I made a Facebook post about a few random samples of the unjust treatment of certain individuals.  Well, it certainly seemed unjust to me.  It was about a 30 year old white man who was charged with a felony for a carrying a concealed weapon illegally and having drug paraphernalia in his possession.  He was released almost immediately.  Two short months later, he ran a red light, striking another car.  While the women was assessing damages to her car, this man got out with his high powered, high capacity rifle and shot her to death.  UMMMM...he ran the red light.  Just two months later this guy was charged with a felony...and released.

The other two men in my story, one was arrested for allegedly stealing a backpack and held in Rikers island for 3 years without a conviction.  The other was arrested for having a hat with his dna on it found at a crime scene.  It wasn't until a public defender (who was actually a personal injury lawyer appointed to represent him without being paid by the state) discovered that there was 2 peoples dna on it.  This man was eventually released after months in jail.

Most people understood.  This is a small sampling of the unjust treatment of blacks in america today. But there was one person who responded...guns don't kill people, people do.  I'm sorry....but if that's all you got out of what I posted, that's a problem.  The post wasn't even about guns.  AT ALL.  Let's just ignore the blatant racism and unjust treatment....like so many people do already.

Let's talk about Colin Kaepernick for a minute.  Lets all get mad at that son of a bitch for not respecting our military!  Send him to syria to see what real oppression looks like!  How dare a man who made millions off america dare have something to say about something important!  SHUT UP AND PLAY FOOTBALL.

the only acceptable dictator we should
have in America. 

I'm sorry did I miss something?  What Colin Kaepernick did was in the utmost respect for the military.  Rather than be FORCED to to do something and pledge allegiance, which sounds a lot like facism, CK USED THE RIGHTS that soldiers have fought and died for.  And not only that, he used them to give a voice to those whose rights have been and are being taken away.  Would you have rather had him quit his job, go set cars on fire and loot businesses?   Would he then be labeled lazy and told to get a job and contribute to society.  Give me a break.   Those soldiers fought and died so WE DON'T HAVE TO PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE to any flag or country.  That's dictatorship.

Oh....because I didn't want the dick tater to be the opening photo....I posted Morgan Freeman at the top.  But I just want to say....he's wrong.  I know what he's trying to say.  But by ignoring something doesn't make it go away.  Can you ignore cancer?  Can we just stop talking about ISIS?  Because if we stopped talking about ISIS it would most certainly not go away.  If anything it would make them work harder to get attention.   I get what he is trying to say...and honestly, it might work.  But it's a HUGE gamble.  Because people won't stop talking about it.  And besides...don't ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.  This, has been proven.  And people will continue to act in ways that aren't beneficial to humanity.  This is why a VOICE is important.