Salvaging a Stomach Bug

You know that feeling.  When someone gets a stomach bug.  All you want to do is burn everything they may have come in contact with.  Unless it's your kids, don't burn them.  But you know that bug spreads like crazy.  And it's one of the worst 24-48 hours of your life.  Every rumbling or weird feeling in your tummy puts you on high alert.

Sometimes you escape, other times you don't.  But you know the cycle.  As soon as you think you might get it, you cut back on your food intake to prevent a large upheaveal  of what's in your system. In the event you do catch the bug, it's inevitable that you will lose just about everything in your system and deplete all your glycogen stores.  You will be tired, sluggish and feel awful.  By now you've probably been fasting for about 36 hours.  You don't want to eat anything because you are afraid of it coming right back up.  After about 48 hours your bug has passed and you are trying to find something to eat again.  But what's weird....it's hard to choose what to eat.  So many of us think it's because we are still sick.  But I think it's because we really aren't hungry.  I think our body took care of itself and by the start of that third day with extremely limited calories we started using our stored fat and produced ketones for fuel.  At this point your body is in a state of ketosis and is burning fat.  This is totally natural and healthy.  You've gotten through the hard part of switching from carb burning to fat burning via a stomach bug.

So next time you get the stomach bug...that 8 pound weight loss is not all from puke and shit.  You've actually started burning fat and it is a great time to continue onto a keto diet!  Don't go back to BRAT, Bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.  There is NO evidence to say this has any benefit.  It is outdated and moot.  If you aren't hungry...it really is ok not to eat.  If it's been 24-36 hours and you feel like you can keep something down, start with water.  Get some electrolytes in you.  But don't add carbs or sugar.  If you want solids...try scrambled eggs or chicken.  Eat something with healthy fats and low carbs in it that will sustain your fat burning.

Just something to think about to bring a light at the end of the tunnel for a stomach bug.

The Emotions aren't leaving.

One of the greatest fears I have as a dad is that I'm not teaching or allowing my kids to express their emotions.  The fear most likely stems from the fact that I don't know how to do this.  I feel as though I'm not alone.  Many people have grown up having been told not to cry and to be tough.  Or you may not have been given the opportunity to express anger either.  What happens when you get older and there is no one around to prevent these emotions from coming out?  We simply do no know how to express them.  So we don't.  I say we because I'm hoping I'm not the only one.

For example.  My son wanted to play on his Kindle yesterday only to discover the battery was dead.  He was upset and I told him that it's his responsibility to make sure it gets plugged in.  He's 5.  To be fair, I don't know that I ever actually told him specifically it was his responsibility.  It's been mentioned, but not directly.  Anyway, he started crying.  Not just a sad cry, but a pretty aggressive end of the world sadness type cry.  I ended up tell him that he shouldn't be crying about a game.

I'm having some second thoughts though.  What harm would come from letting him cry that one out? I really don't know where that cry came from.  Clearly it shouldn't have been from only not being able to play on his kindle.

I have to remember that even if I can't understand what the emotion is that they are showing, they are trying to show an emotion.  And by telling them not to have it or to suppress it....they'll turn out to be just like me.  I want them to know that they will be heard.  And that however they are feeling and whatever brought it up is important.

Your emotions...if not expressed....will kill you.

But it's tough.  I have lots of emotions.  I have lots of hurts and pains from my past.  Many of these involve other people.  But I don't want to bring them up now because of how it would make them feel.  So they stay suppressed.   What's confusing about all this?  Is every damn thing about it.

Meme and TAO.

Felt like I needed to share a bit of happiness this morning.  I looked up "funniest memes ever" on google.  None of them got me to let out on audible laugh.

Ok...who am I kidding.  I'm writing a short blog today because I hurt my pointer finger on my right hand yesterday and it's wrapped up.  So it won't bend and typing is incredibly annoying.  So here are some memes with a little commentary.

I remember when I was in middle school, we went with the youth group to a summer retreat.  I loved those retreats almost as much as the winter ones.  On year there was a speaker there that offered all us young people all under the age of 18 the opportunity to pray to be put in a situation where God was the only option we had.  That sounded like a lot of fun.  So much fun I prayed that prayer fervently.  I don't know if God exists or works in that way or not.  But it sure seemed like it worked over the next few years.  It was quite possibly one of the biggest regrets of my life.  It would have been so nice to have friends and other adults in my life to talk to about my shit.  Instead I took it as a sign to FROG.  You know, fully rely on God.  So please...don't sit on a cliff.  There are people all around you that care about you and want to see you through.  And I'm pretty sure that God may have put people in your life for a reason.

Seriously though.  That's what Facebook is.  It's a place to speak your mind.  Everyone does it.  Some do it more than others.  Don't take everything so personal.  Sometimes when you say something and someone disagrees with you, they are no longer responding to you.  They are responding the the thing they disagree with.  It's like they've separated the person that said it to the thought that was presented.  I know...that's confusing.  For example.  If someone says how much they hate provolone cheese and I flip my lid wondering how anyone could hate provolone cheese and that it's the best cheese in the world.  I'm not calling you stupid.  The fact that people don't like provolone cheese upsets me because I don't think they've every really gotten to know it the way I have.  So I'm not calling you dumb for not liking it.  Even if it feels that way.

And lastly.  If you've got a kid, you know how this works.  Imagine walking into a bathroom only to discover there is piss in the toilet and you have to poop.  No way you are going to sit down and risk splash back.  You are gonna flush that piss and drop that bomb into clean water.  Same deal with kids and diapers.  They want a nice fresh surface to release the cracken.  

Anyway, I guess that did get a little long.  I hope you guys enjoyed my attempt at a little bit of humor today and can relate to some of the experiences set forth.

The Impossible, Empathetic Response.

I have a hard time with empathy.  And it's not because I'm an asshole.  Although many people probably think I am one when all they want is to have their feelings validated and have someone sit with them in their moment of emotion.

It's hard for me to do that.

See, for the majority of my life, one of the ways I cope with a bad situation is to provide an explanation for it.  There has to be a reason for these feelings...and if I can name it I can claim it.  That worked for me...for the most part.  It does not work well for many others.  In fact it makes it worse on some occasions.  Some people just want validated for their feelings.

POST SCRIPT.  I'm coming back and saying....I don't feel good writing this.  I hate it.  I hate natural disaster.  I can't imagine what it would be like in a tsunami.

We watched "The Impossible" last night.  It's the movie telling a story about a family who survived the Tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004.  *May contain spoilers.  But it's a true story so it would be like watching Titanic, knowing the boat still sunk.  The family the movie followed is a family of 5 with three boys.  The majority of the movie is about the mom and the oldest son. The mom got trashed.  Literally thrown around like she was a nothing.  The movie did a good job or quelling many misconceptions about tsunamis.  Some people always wonder....why can't people just swim as the water rises.....those ignorant pricks.  The mom suffer sever lacerations to her leg and chest.  Despite this, she was able to find her oldest son.

All this time my wife is sobbing and incredibly emotional.  She's totally connecting with the mom.  Knowing that she'd do the same thing to fight for her kids.  I can say that confidently.  She's admiring the strength of this mom.

Through the remaining parts of the move, the dad finds the two other younger boys and shows the decisions he has to make.  Eventually they all unite and survive.  There were moments when I briefly connected as a father.  I just wanted to hug our children and never leave our house ever again.  I refused to let myself cry as I was watching this movie.

Why?  I haven't a fucking clue.  Over 200,000 people died in this Tsunami.  200,000.  Let that sink in for a bit.  And we're watching a movie about one family that survived.  See, if I made this movie it would have been over in the first 30 minutes.  The tsunami comes and everybody dies.  The movie does give airtime to a few other people that have lost loved ones and tells it tells a few stories.  It does show the mass hysteria.  But it only covers a day and a half.  And most people that watch this movie will forget about it after a few days.  Few people will actually be so moved to actually do something in the humanitarian aid field.  And all I can think about was is it worth it?  How much good did they do vs. the cost of the movie and the money it made?  Did they donate all the profits to humanitarian aid?

Don't get me wrong.  I thought they did a great job in this movie of communicating real emotion.  The love of a mother for her son to stay alive until he's safe.  The journey of the oldest boy going from the punk kid to a hero.  The father choosing to leave his two youngest in search of his wife and oldest.  I don't know if I would have done that.  Miraculously them all uniting at the hospital where the wife and oldest was, the mom finally said she could die in peace knowing the kids were with their dad.  But husband won't let her.  Lots of emotions communicated.  But....that's what movies are supposed to do.  Get you to connect with the characters.

Anyway...this is my processing.   I'm not satisfied with connecting with characters in movies.  There is an inner stirring in my the pit of my soul that I should be there.  That I should have been the first on a plane to Thailand to help.  When i was 16 and just got my drivers license, the Columbine school shooting happened.  April 20, 1999.  I was moved.  I wept.  I sat on the side of my bed at our home on pine road and pleaded to my parents that they should let me drive there.  This was the first time I had ever felt the effects of a tragedy like that in my soul.  They told me there was nothing I could do, but I didn't care.  I just wanted to be there with them.  I wanted to just be with the victims and their families in their brokenness and pain.  And they wouldn't let me go.  I guess I never let that go.

I guess if I was in their shoes I wouldn't have wanted my son to go either.  But what are we so afraid of?  Why wouldn't we go?  Why wouldn't we leave our comfortable lives to go be with people in pain and suffering...if only just to empathize.

Usually I'm in a better place after I write......fuck.

Legislating Morality and Diet Pills

Blog number 401 today, 389th published.  Nice.

Jesus was more interested in a change of heart rather than merely behavior change, true or false?

I'm going to assume the answer is true.  And honestly, its a good prescription.  I would venture to assume that if you change your heart, your behavior most naturally follows suit.

That's why diet pills and powders don't work and you can't legislate morality claiming it's because of your "christian faith".  Because if you want to ban certain things and you are a christian I think you have a greater responsibility to why they happen in the first place.   Just my opinion.

Let me explain.  I used to think it was good intentions for politicians to draft laws based on christian principles.  And maybe it still is.  But the law doesn't equate to behavior change.  There are laws saying you can't drink and drive, but people drink and drive.  There is a push to ban guns or something along those lines, but guns and murder will still exist.  And some people want to ban abortion.  But abortions will still happen.

God even learned that putting laws, rules, and guidelines in place so people would have a right relationship with him simply will not work.  Very few people succeeded.  Enter Jesus.  He came to fulfill the law.  He focused more on the heart change.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have laws.  I'm not even saying the laws won't change behavior.  But laws won't change the condition of the heart (most of the time).  You might be in favor of drunk driving being illegal.  But it's not until someone close to you dies by a drunk driver that you really feel emotionally involved into why you oppose drunk driving.  It's now more than just a rule you have follow.  

That's why diet pills, powders, and supplements don't work.   Using them is like legislating morality.  What if they are gone?  Would you still maintain the change you hoped would happen?  No.  They may help you achieve desired results, but if you never have a "why" planted deeply in your being as to why you want to get healthy and/or lose weight you'll always rely on the "product".  When in reality, you don't need the fancy product.  All the results can be done naturally.  The "why" is the heart change.  And if it's big enough it will lead to a complete overhaul of your diet/nutrition.  Most of those diet pills always say....use as a supplement to a healthy diet and regular exercise.  That's code for, it won't really work unless you change your behavior.

Ok...so my analogy was a little bit of a stretch.  But I hope you get the point of what I was getting at.  I'll leave you with this word from Sufjan Stevens.

 

Whatever you Want, Whenever you Want It.

A few days ago I wrote about screens and how they've infiltrated our life.  You can read about it here.  Did you just see what happened there.  You clicked on something and it took you somewhere else in this online world for you to read about something.  If you were reading anything 20 years ago, chances are they'd point you to another resource and you'd have to physically get up and go find it.  We didn't have instant access to everything.

But really, if you are 15 years age or younger, consider yourself a Cavia porcellus.  I know, what's that?  You can read about those here.    That's not an insult, but you are an experiment.  We have no idea what this instant connection to any and all information is doing to your brains.  But not just you, although this way of life is all you will ever know.  For those older than 20.  We remember a time when you couldn't just watch or find anything we wanted.

I remember when Cable TV first started becoming popular.  My Grandma had it and we were always so excited to go to her house and have what we believed to be unlimited viewing options.  But at our house, it was 4-5 channels if we were lucky.  You could only watch what they had on.  Going back before that, there were even fewer.  And some people reading this even remember a time when there was NO tv at all.  And probably only one newspaper or radio station.

but we still don't know if they
have it "good" or not. 

We were only told a small amount of what the world was like.  We were really tied to our local community and our households.  That sounds nice.  That sounds simple.

But that's nearly impossible now.  We are instantly connected to anything and everything.  And we even get to choose what we want to read or watch.  Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, OnDemand.....we have so many different streaming options.  News outlets....we find the one that feeds our confirmation bias.  Even social groups online we interact with those we get along with.

While I feel like all of this increase in connectivity and options is a good thing, I also feel like it can be a huge problem for a lot of people.  Some get caught up in it.  And most of it you can't do much about and it can lead to increased levels of stress and other emotions that effect you negatively.  But on the flip, it could spur you into action.

It's a new world.  Or maybe it's not.  Maybe we just now know what's going on.  Time will tell.  In a time when everyone seems to be saying "less is more" it seems more and more is being put in front of us.

Don't Forget the River

Yesterday I was reminded of the tattoo on the outside of my right forearm that says, Trust the River.  I don't see it that much...which is too bad, because it's one of my favorites.  Even the T-Rex standing in the river.

The meaning of Trust the River?  I heard a story from Michael Gungor,  he was at a really difficult place in his journey of faith.  He felt like he was clinging to a branch on the side of a huge, scary, dangerous, unpredictable river.  My words not his.  The branch is what he believed to be God.  Safety.  As long as he held tight he'd be fine.  But his grip failed.  And it wasn't until he was in the river that he realized that the river was God and the branch was his preconceived notions of what/who God was.  In reality God was the river....and it wasn't until he was in the river that he began to understand just how big God really is.

Trust the River.  It's ok to not know.  It's totally ok to have no understanding of how God works or who God even is.  It even says in the bible that we'd never be able to grasp the vastness.

Sometimes I'll come up an idea of how I think God is.  I could be right just as much as I could be wrong.  And nobody will ever know for sure.  There is one thing you do know for sure... Jesus said it himself.  “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” 

Loving God could be anything.  It could look totally different from one person to the next.  But notice the next part.  Jesus says it is EQUAL.  He does not say to master the first part and then do the second.  Love others as well as you love yourself.  That's pretty simple.  The love you show for yourself, you must also show for others.

What if we practiced that as Christians?  

Do you know it says not to fear around 365 times in the bible?  Yes...I did just go there.

What are we so afraid of?

I sincerely want to know from Christians who are in favor of an immigration ban, refugee from ANY country (that's what it was), or building a wall on our southern border.  What are you afraid of?  What are your concerns?  And in the grandiose River that is God, where does that fear land?