Help. I'm Cold, Hungry and Homeless.

I was going to write a blog about participation trophies and entitlement.  But I think I'll wait till tomorrow to do that.  Instead, this holiday season I thought I'd share about an experience that changed my life forever.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hunt on some private land way out in the middle of nowhere. On sunday, I was out preparing my spot to hunt and stumbled across a family living in the woods. They certainly were surprised to see me, and I them. Their hom
e seemed to meet their immediate needs. You could see that is wasn't well put together, but using what little resources they had available it served the purpose.  They didn't say anything to me, despite me trying to talk to them.  You could tell they were frightened.   I decided that I best just mind my own business and let them carry on. I didn't really know what to do. I think I scared them because they thought they were so well hidden and all they worked so hard for would vanish.

Should I tell someone about them? What if I told the wrong person and I made this family worse off?  Certainly the landowners wouldn't appreciate squatters on their property.   Do I take responsibility for them? I already have a family to take care of. So many questions.....

I could bring food to them, but only for a few days. I would be leaving. I don't know that they would understand that the food would stop. Do I leave enough food to last them the winter?  And how do I know that they wouldn't eat all the food right away?  I could give them money, but that would certainly not do any good for them way out here.

It really got me thinking about all the opportunities to help people that I have. Like the homeless man on the corner asking for money. Is the $5 really going to help him or should I take him in town to the local shelter if he really needs help? Clearly he knows it's there, but maybe he does "better" standing on the corner gathering spare change and dollar bills from passing motorists.
It begs the question, What really helps people? A one time gift? Does that work? What about relying on many others one time gifts too?

So what did I do to about the family in the woods? I gave them about 6 almonds, 4 macadamia nuts and a few pumpkin seeds. It was about 10% of what I had on me at the time, I could have given them more.  But I remember something about 10% being all you needed to give.  Besides, I really don't know how much a family of mice living in an upside down 5 gallon bucket filled with leaves up in a treestand eats, but I'm sure every little bit helps.

HAHAHAHAHA Good one Jon! You really had me going!  Right? Wrong? This situation happens all day every day for many people. You come across needs of individual people or groups.  We all want to help (well most of us do) but it is a very hard decision on how. How do I help them so that they can take care of themselves long term?  So many times we say feed a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach him and he eats for life.  Is everyone supposed to be fishing though?  What happens when someone gets real good at fishing and starts selling the fish at prices many can't afford?  UH-OH, this blog is long enough.  We don't need to go down that rabbit hole.

I don't have all the answers. I'm still searching for them.  Just wanted you to think about that good feeling you get when you drop some money in the bucket of a family in need.  You may not be helping, you may be making it worse.  I don't really know.

Stop Eating Shit.

During the day I have all kinds of ideas for blogs.  Things I get really excited about.  These ideas are so good I don't write them down.  Note to self.  Always write them down.

I'll just share some quick thoughts.  As cliche as it sounds, we really have become a microwave society.  We've lost the ability to maintain.  We push ourselves and our things to the breaking point and then intervene usually fixing something that we broke along the way.  This happens alot with our diets.  People keep eating and gain weight.  Then they go on a diet and lose weight.  Then they repeat the process over and over again.  There is no personal studying to learn how to maintain a proper weight.   Or they just say screw it to the weight loss part and keep eating foods that give them other health problems in addition to weight gain.   Half the health problems americans have can be fixed by changing your diet.  But instead of maintianing a healthy lifestyle, just take drugs.  Speaking of drugs....That's what your food is.  If you predominantly shop the inside aisles of a grocery store, you are taking drugs.  Ever wonder why you can't stop eating sugar and other simple carbs?  You are addicted.  That's why.  

The good news is that these foods arent' nearly as addictive as some heavy drugs.  Abstinence from Sugar will help you kick the cravings and will ultimately lead to a healthier lifestyle.  But you can't go back for a sample.  3 weeks of eliminating a food from your diet will help reverse the tastebuds and you'll begin to lose the craving and the taste.  Oh...don't use artificial sweeteners when you are trying to kick sugar.  It's not the health factor...it's the psychological dependence on sweet foods that you are trying to kick as well.

Most of us don't eat when we are hungry.  We eat when it's time to eat.  Or when we are bored. Or when there is food on the counter.  Or when we feel like eating.  We don't listen to our bodies anymore when it comes to what we should eat.  We listen to what our brains want to eat.  And the brain doesn't want the nourishment, it wants the chemicals.  The only way to stop that...start eating real food.   Remember, this isn't just a weight loss thing, this is overall health.  If you find your mental game isn't on point, or you keep getting infections, maybe you keep getting the flu or maybe you have arthritis (inflammation).  Alot of this is caused by the shit foods you eat.

Did you know that your children's face structure won't develop properly if they aren't fed a healthy diet?  This will lead to a high orthodontic bill.

And it will also lead into a blog tomorrow about the cost of food.  

In the hunt

I'll be in the woods today hoping to harvest my first whitetail deer in about 18 years.  I feel pretty confident in my spot.

However, you won't be seeing a post from me about the ethics of hunting or anything like that.

I did listen to a podcast yesterday about a vegan turned hunter.  It was quite good.

But know this.  If you are an animal lover and anti-hunting.  If you are vegan/vegatarian.  You still harm animals.  Things you do still support the arguable "unethical" treatment of animals.

More on that later.  But today...time to hunt.

We Get What We Want.

When I was a kid and wanted a new toy, I had two options.  Wait for my birthday or Christmas. Sometimes my Grandma Betty would get come through though.  "They" say that buying kids alot of the things the ask for isn't good for them.  They say it will spoil the children.  They say the children will grow up "entitled".

I'm going to disagree.

As soon as I was old enough, I tried to get everything I couldn't have.   Even today I buy my kids stuff that I didn't have when I was their age.  They have way more toys than I ever had.  Maybe from a young age they'll learn that happiness isn't found in stuff.  That way when they get older they don't feel like they have to go and buy all the things they were deprived of as kids.

Raising children is tough.  There is no black and white, do this, not that playbook when it comes to parenting.  One thing I see alot, is parents looking at their adult kids and saying something like "I guess I did pretty good didn't I"?  Stop saying that please.  It's not about you.  Your kid did amazing, despite any parenting flaws you had.

I don't think anyone really knows at all what they are doing as parents.  Best thing to do?  Love your kids.

Religion. What is it Good for? Part 3

There was never a part 3 planned.  But I feel as though I must.  It's gonna be a tough one.

I grew up in church.  Went every Sunday and Wednesday.  Right up through high school.  I never went to college so I became a volunteer youth leader.  Played guitar in the worship band.  Preached on stage at our punk rock shows.  I was a Jesus Freak.  Up through my 20's I always was involved in a church.  Something happened about 3-4 years ago that really began shaking up my faith.  It may have been Francis Chan and his book "Crazy Love" and perhaps "Radical" by David Platt.  I listened to a lot of sermons by Chan, Preston Sprinkle, David Platt, Rob Bell, Josh Crain, and even Mark Driscoll.  Surprisingly, listening to all these christian teachers, I began to lose my faith.  It seemed as though everything I once believed and clinged so strongly to, was fading.  Even with me listening to all these great pastors and being involved in church.

I stopped going to church completely a little over a year ago.  I still listen to sermons every week.  I still believe that Jesus is a good role model.

My wife and kids still go to church.  She's been very understanding of my deconstruction.  I love the church she goes too.  I grew up in that building.  Though it's far from the same church.   What's hard is when my son asks about "God's birthday" coming up.  I told him God doesn't have a birthday.  God's always been alive.  But we are celebrating Jesus's birthday even though He wasn't actually born in December.  I'm sure it's confusing for him.  I don't want to lie to my children.  Navigating "childrens church" is a little more difficult.  I really wish they would just teach love and being kind instead of stuff from the bible that even adult christians don't even grasp.  He often asks if God is real, I have to be honest with him.

Why do we teach kids "basic" stuff?  Most of this basic stuff has no thought to it.  And then when they get older they have to question everything they've always been taught and come to find out that most of it was wrong.  I'm not going to talk about food today.  But seriously....if the majority of the things your kids eat can be purchased from the inside aisles of the grocery store, you're killing them.  Stop teaching them it's a healthy diet.   Do you know why kids (and many adults) don't like vegetables?  Because sugar.  Anyway.....

Back to religion.  I'm about at the point that I don't believe at all.  I'm not an atheist.  I just don't know.  I still believe in Jesus.  I'd love to feel like it's all real.  Christianity, that is.  But I can't.  At least the Christianity that I grew up being taught.  I'm holding onto hope that I'm on the right track in figuring out what following Jesus is all about. It would be so much easier to get a super good feeling of comfort with faith.  Perhaps I was self medicating using christianity as a drug instead of dealing with the real issues in my life. And when your faith starts to wain, those real issues come on strong and you are forced to deal with them.  And I'm glad I am.  It will be worth it in the long run.

Oh...and don't let religion get in the way of loving others.  Including your spouse.  I'm incredibly thankful for a wife that has unconditional love for me.  I know many others that don't.  And my heart breaks for them.  Love knows no boundaries.

If you love someone and they don't believe the same things you do, don't you think your God is big enough to work through that?  Don't you trust God enough?  Don't you want to give God the time to work?  Or don't you even believe that much?  There should never be an ultimatum of believing in a certain religion or we are done.  That's a stupid religious belief.  But the emotions involved....are real.

It's complicated to write about.  I wish I could just say I believe.  But I can't.  And unless you've walked this road, I don't expect you to understand.  For what it's worth though, I'm finally feeling at peace about where I'm at.  Probably cause the drugs work.  The legal, prescribed drugs to help get a handle on all the stuff I tried to put a band aid on with Christianity and booze.

Religion. What is it Good for? Part one.

Absolutely something. Something? What thing?

There are things happening that stem from a religion.  Like the work my friends do in Haiti.  And many others all over the world.  Although there are some that do missions work wrong in the name of religion, this family, in my opinion is doing it well.  They have also developed relationships with other organizations who are doing amazing things to add value to the lives of others.  You can read about the group here.

I've known Matt and Julie for over 20 years.  Matt, even as a youth, was always extended a hand of help to those that were often overlooked by others.  He pushed the limits of what the church would commonly do to help the least of these.  His love for people had no boundaries.  Now a unified couple, Matt and Julie with their (3) children have taken that care to Haiti.  Some of the 70+ other children that they care for on a daily basis are in dire need of new mattresses.  They are looking to buy 30 new mattresses.  Some of these kids have been using the same mattresses for over 8 years.  And when I say use...often times three or four kids sleep on the same twin mattress, perpendicular to the length.   Life in haiti is hard.  When I say hard I don't just mean difficult.  I mean hard.  Everything is concrete or wood.  There is no soft grass so sit on.  There is no carpet.  It's all VERY hard.  Having a nice mattress to sleep on is so incredibly refreshing.

I believe many hands make light work.  I know they do.  I also know at least 100 people are going to read this.  And I also know that those same 100 people often read this everyday.  So there are some people that regardless of if you agree or disagree with some things I write about, you still read.

So I urge you, this GIVING TUESDAY, head over to the FGO donation page by clicking anywhere on this paragraph.  Find the drop down box and click on Giving Tuesday 2016.  100 people giving $30 would all but knock out this goal.  I'll start.  There's my proof.  What a great Christmas present it would be for these kids!  

Religion. What is it Good for? Part 2.

Yesterday I shared about some friends of mine doing some amazing things that were inspired by their faith.  Let it be known though, that I believe without a doubt they'd do it whether God was real or not.

On the flip side there are these ways religion can be incredibly hurtful.  I was involved in two conversations this week that stemmed from having a belief in a certain value.  I will not go into great detail on what started these conversations, but you'll get the idea.  And I also want to say that by no means am I claiming absolute truth here.  The is where I've landed at the current moment.

A friend of mine was taken to conversion therapy as a minor.  His parents wanted him to get some of the homosexual tendencies and same sex attraction cleaned up. By cleaned up, I mean reversed.  Yeah, there are places that do that.  Though he was forced, he was open to it. Simply because why not trust your parents?  Long story short, the therapy didn't work.  In fact, it was highly traumatic.  It may have made a manageable situation even worse. These types of therapy "treatments" don't work so much that after 37 years even Exodus International (a prominent conversion therapy organization) offered an apology to the countless numbers of people that were harmed and viewed negatively by the organization.  They even went as far as urging churches to create an open and welcoming environment to this demographic.


This conversation started when talking about how Mike Pence wanted federal funding to go to centers that supported conversion therapy.  As far as we know, he hasn't changed from that stance.  So Mike Pence wants federal funds to go to something that is already banned in 5 states and is proven to have potential long term psychological harm.  Got it.

But on the other hand, Mike Pence wants to defund Planned Parenthood.  He states that conservatism starts with the commitment to the unalienable right to life.  So long as you are straight I guess.  Perhaps I'll dive into what a hyporcritcal stance this is in another blog.  Not today.

But this got me thinking.  Why is homosexuality viewed as wrong?  Everything I read comes down to what is said in the bible.  Religion.  What fuels this intense push to have this "pro-life" all babies be born come from?  Religion.  It seems as though most of this pro-life attitude stops once the child exits the womb.  Life consists of more than just birth.  W

I've come to learn things aren't so black and white on this stuff.  And so many other people that once thought the way I did are doing the same.  I used to be the guy that condemned gays to hell and thought all abortion was murder.  I've since met a few people outside my bubble that shared their stories.  I've stepped away from confirmation bias.  My minds been opened.  I'm glad for that.  But when I see examples of who I used to be, it hurts.  My religious viewpoint, hurt people.  In fact, I would venture to say that my religious viewpoint, hurt many more people than it helped.