It's 5 o'clock and Cold

Let's talk about fake news. I think I get it. I don't like fake news.

In my opinion, lawyers can be great at fake news. They present the truth that's not exactly the truth. But the way that the story is told isn't not true, but it's not true either.

For example.  The song by 2003 song by Alan Jackson, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere".   It's not actually 5pm where he is, but it's 5pm somewhere in the world.  He's not wrong.  But if someone only heard him say, it's 5pm but not the rest of the story, they'd be misled.

I know, poor example.  Lets talk about one that I was knee deep in thought with yesterday. Presenting an argument about something that isn't wrong, but it's not right either.  The song, "Baby, it's cold outside."  If you read the lyrics of this song in todays world without the proper context, the song appears to be about a man pressuring a women to stay the night against her will.  That's horrible.  In fact, the first time I really listened to the lyrics I was pretty disgusted and couldn't believe that song was being played.

Yesterday I saw someone post that if you don't see that this song is about sexual assualt and rape, than you might be part of the problem.  Well, didn't want to be part of the problem.  So I did a fair amount of research into the history of the song and I came to find out to the best of my knowledge that the song is NOT about sexual assault and rape. But I can understand that if you heard it without the proper context you could make a valid case that it was. But I think that would be unfair to the original artist.

The song was written in the late 30's, early 40's.  The couple involved wanted to spend the night together buy at the time that would have been looked down upon. The lady says she should leave (not because she doesn't want to stay, but fear of what others would say if she stayed). But the man gives her an out. Something to say to people when they ask. It's cold outside.  You'll freeze. The fire is warm here.

The line about "what's in this drink?" isn't one of question. It's a line we've all used to explain actions we knew we wouldn't do otherwise by saying we had to much to drink.

But I also understand that this song, if played out in the literal sense, could have gone another way. The man could have offered to drive her home, or walk her home.  But he didn't, and she didn't want him to. Or maybe she did want to leave and he was trying to convince her to stay using his power and persistency. That would be awful. But I don't believe for one second that's what the original artist intended. Unless his wife, who performed the song with him was also into that and ok with it.

I get it that people might not like this song. It may even trigger a bad experience. And I'm sorry about that. I don't really like the song, either.  But don't make something up about the song to further a point. Use it as a teaching point. But don't make the song the enemy. The very thing the song is pushing up against is the enemy. The unfair societal expectations and others assuming things without all the information. Be mad at those.

I won't hide this song from my kids. But I will explain to them what they are talking about if it comes up. I can even use this song to teach consent. But I will not make the song about the promotion and acceptance of sexual assault and rape. That's fake news.

Figuring out my Christmas

I got the Christmas feels this morning.

Wait.

I got the Christmas music feels this morning. There is a difference. Thanks to August Burns Red's version of "O Holy Night".  

It made me tear up a little bit. Again, not sure if it was the amazing composure of the song done by ABR or the emotions of Christmas. It's hard to tell when it comes to music. It moves you. Think of Braveheart without the soundtrack, it just wouldn't be the same. But that's not what this blog is about.

I grew up with Christianity as our families belief. We went to church every Sunday and were involved in Wednesday night activities. I continued to go to church after I moved out and was on my own. Church and Christianity were always a part of my life. Until about 3 years ago. I can't really pinpoint exactly what made me begin to question this thing called Church and Christianity. It always felt good, until it didn't.

The holiday season is also more difficult when some of the best memories you had of them were from childhood. And when childhood memories no longer are the same as they once were, it doesn't help the situation much. The wounds may heal, but the scars remain. It's kinda like Harry Potter's scar. It doesn't always hurt, but when it hurts, it's crippling.

I know I'm not the only one. And it's not something that is easy to process. There are so many different emotions involved in this. Sadness, anger, hurt, frustration, confusion, doubt, but rarely ever peace. You want to believe, but you can't.

For me I think I started using Sunday mornings for my long runs. These typically took me several hours to complete and was a form of "church" for me. But when the weather turned cold and I wasn't running anymore, I never went back. I stayed home and made music in the studio that I had put together in our garage. This was also like church to me. I wrote about the mental battles I was facing with much of that emotion reflected in the songs I wrote.  

"I wish I had a hope, a wish or a dream that could manifest.

To escape this sorry life and run away, chase the setting sun so that the darkness stays away.  

But it’s like a trap, the lights go out but I can’t say goodbye from the darkness of my life.  

Metal chains have me locked up, bound and broken, crucified to this lie and I can’t.  Breathe."  

After several months to a year of this I realized that nothing really changed significantly as a result of not attending church. I did notice that nobody from the church I grew up in really noticed my absence either. There was a few, though. I can count them using fingers on one hand. 

This was not an easy thing. There was a lot of turmoil both interior and exterior. My views of the world and humanity began to change. Celebrating things like Thanksgiving became harder knowing that it's not as "happy" as the picture is painted. Christmas and Easter are more difficult and you have to begin to look at them from a more secular view. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, many do it. But how you've celebrated these holidays for your entire existence is changing. It's hard to adjust from normal. 

I still don't attend church. I've become a "Chreaster". I don't pray. I don't read the Bible. I don't really buy into christianity or the American Church anymore. Even though the many in the church I would attend if I attended say that even if Jesus and Christianity wasn't real they'd still be the same people and love people the same. I believe them. But to attend you have to believe the same "thing" they believe or you won't really fit in. It's tough. Because many of them would say I could. But I can't. 

Yet. 

This morning I also heard a the song, "What Child is This?" by Future of Forestry.  Also a spectacular song.  August Burns Red has a pretty amazing version too. 

But, Jesus. 

I still cling to hope that Jesus was a real person. Besides, other religions point to Jesus. He must be real. And from what I read, Jesus was a rebel. He came to flip religion on its head. He came to love. He came to live. He came to die. And I believe Jesus loved people so much that he couldn't bear the amount of people that were being killed via crucifixion, so many that they ran out of trees, that he said....

"Me Too" 

This is the time of year his birth is celebrated. Can I get behind that? Who is Jesus? I'd ask him, but even Jesus himself asked the question. He asked his disciples what others said who he was. He asked his disciples who they thought he was. Did Jesus even know the depths that he would impact the world? 

This Christmas I want to gain an understanding of who Jesus was. Not on an emotional or spiritual level, but a biographical study of the person of Jesus. What if Jesus didn't want a religion behind him? What if he didn't want billions of dollars tied up in religious buildings and other offerings? How will we ever know? More has been written about Jesus in the past 20 years than in the previous 2000. 

I guess maybe the best thing I can do is to be the best me I know how to be. I think that's what Jesus would be. 

I was hoping writing this out would bring some clarity. I was hoping it would bring me to some new level of peace with my beliefs.  But as I'm wrapping up, I realized that I was already there.  

And I am always reminded that when writing blogs like this, why people end up writing books instead. 

Just. No.

Cool God story time.

This morning I was up at 1:30am to take my missionary friends to the airport. I enjoy the extra time I get to spend with them and the trust they place in me to always pick them up and drop them off on time when they return home. Well, at 1:45am this morning I accidentally locked my keys in our van.  This was a very peculiar thing to happen seeing as how there is usually at least one unlocked door at all times due to faulty lock actuators. So the fact that all the doors got locked was incredibly rare. With no time to spare, I knew the only thing to do was to take my truck, and leave the van idling by it's lonesome in our driveway.

Upon arrival at their location to pick them up, it was evident that the amount of luggage would NOT have fit in the van without the passengers being VERY uncomfortable and unsafe for the 2 hour drive to BWI. It was actually a blessing in disguise that I had the truck. For a moment I thought what mysterious ways God works. That He knew the amount of luggage and space requirements to keep all passengers safe. He allowed the doors to be locked on purpose so I would have no other option to take the truck. What a cool and thoughtful dude God is to do something like that.  Right?  He knew we had roadside assistance from State Farm and they'd be able to come get the doors unlocked as soon as I got home even though I didn't even know we had roadside assistance until I got home.  So amazing that God is to take care of those little things.

No. No. No. No. No. Just, No.  Don't even try to spin it that way. I was careless. I locked the keys in the van. God had nothing to do with it. Why and how can I say that so confidently? Because of all the atrocities and vile things that happen in this world that God doesn't intervene. Everything worked out perfect for us this morning despite the circumstances. Things don't always work out perfectly for anyone else that faces trials and hardships in life that are much worse that locking their keys in the van. People get abused, assaulted, murdered, left for dead when one small intervention from God could have saved them. But that doesn't happen. How selfish would it have to be for me to think that God had any type of intervention on that event that I experienced this morning?

What's my point? I just wish people would stop giving credit to God when there is no evidence God had anything to do with something. Give yourself some credit, give yourself some blame.

Anyway. Just some thoughts this morning.