Just Give Me Something to Believe In

I'm not struggling.  I'm sort of indifferent.  I'm confused. 

There's covid deaths continuing to rise and I know local hospitals are still full of covid patients.  I know it's a real thing.  I know people are dying. 

But there are many other things that just keep me in a state of not knowing just how serious to believe the main stream media and all things covid. 

I have a lot of smart friends that love diving into research and holding standard healthcare dogma accountable.  They take the common narrative and try to figure out if it truly is accurate.  And some of the things they find leave you scratching their head.  A lot of what we've been told, isn't exactly a representation of truth.  Like "bad" cholesterol for example.  But that's another story.  

But I've seen and read enough to know that not everything that comes from "authority" is true.  

Part of me just wants to go with the flow.  Sure, I'll wear a mask, continue to social distance, take proper precautions, etc.  But it's really starting to weigh on me mentally and emotionally.   Part of me kind of just wants it all to be true.  Just let the vaccine do it's thing and we'll be back to normal in no time.  

But then again, normal is part of the reason covid was so bad to begin with.  Normal meant that not everyone truly trusts in the government or the healthcare or sickcare system.  Or potentially worse is that they trust them blindly. Normal is that nearly 75% of adults over 18 in the US is either overweight or obese (30% overweight, 43% obese).  6 in 10 Americans have at least one chronic disease and 4 in 10 have 2.  And the majority of those disease, are caused and managed by lifestyle choices.  

Normal isn't that healthy.  

I recently read that the WHO determined the cycle count for the PCR test for covid was too sensitive.  And that created a large amount of false positives.  So they reduced it which will likely lead to a lower amount of positive cases, at the same time the vaccine is rolled out.  Coincidence?  

Let alone that we know vitamin d levels are crucial for overall health, and to lessen covid symptoms.  But nary a word about that from the powers that be.  You'd think it would be headlines on all the major outlets.  

I get it though.  It's a new virus.  

It's just very confusing.  

I'm landing somewhere in the middle.  I think most people desperately need something to believe in.  Regardless of it's true or not.  As long as they believe it's true, it's ok with them.   I think way to many people, myself included, will choose to believe something before they fully vet the thing they choose to believe in.  

I see this in the foundation of religion.  People desperately needed something to believe in.  So they created something to believe in.  And when you get massive amounts of people to believe in something, you get control.  

Control may have not really been your goal, but it is a result.  And when you realize you have control....you want more.  

Anyway.  Just some thoughts over the past couple days.  

I just want to go spend time with friends and not have to worry about catching this "covid" and being forced to take even more time off work and cause my kids to miss even more school.  I want to be able to smile at people.  I want to be able to have dinner with others and celebrate life.  

I'm worried that vaccines will become mandatory for certain portions of society when they have yet to prove whether they actually work or not.  

Like I said...just me thinking.