The Problem

Over the past few weeks I've tried to get into public when I can.  Usually this involves local coffee shops where I'll sit and sip a brew and catch up on online goings on and observing people.

A few days ago I noticed a man sitting right by a door in a coffee shop.  Every woman that walked in he made verbal contact with.  Usually it was a simple, hello beautiful.  And attempt at a wave or other compliment based on her exterior appearance.   At first I didn't think much of it.  But I noticed he was also following many women with his eyes as they walked past.  I also noticed he didn't even make eye contact or an attempt to say hello to any male that walked in the door.   I didn't say anything that day.   

But today.  He was back.  Seemingly innocent.  And I certainly don't believe he meant any ill intent.  But the first woman who walked through the door he leaned in, "hey beautiful, how are you doing today?"  After having observed this man on a prior occasion and again this morning, I got that feeling.  That, "you need to say something" feeling.  So I did.  I asked the young woman how it made her feel.  She simply said she just semi ignored it, smiled politely and moved along.   

I then asked one of the workers about him.  It's a tough spot to be in for them.  No one complained.  He's a paying customer.  But is his behavior acceptable?  I didn't say anything to the man.  I wanted to ask if he gave a thought to how his behavior would make others feel.  Knowing he didn't treat men the same way.  I can't believe he was just trying to be friendly.  Or maybe he has deep phycological issue where he is afraid of men.  I don't know.  But that still doesn't excuse only interacting with passer-by women.  

I moved coffee shops.  Sitting outside watching the world go by and I notice a group of men all dressed in suits.  They were walking down the sidewalk.  4 of them, walking 2 abreast.  And not one of them moved an inch when a women had to all but get off the sidewalk to avoid their quick pace.  

Do people even realize what they do?  Would they be open to hear a critique of what was observed?  Would I be open if someone did the same to me?