a long blog about the NFL, Trump, the National Anthem, Church and Bitches.

Couple things this morning that I'd like to get off my chest.  I wasn't going to weigh in on the NFL, Donald, the NBA, or the National Anthem.  But I will.

First, I used to write about all the things I didn't like about church, christianity, and a belief in a higher power.  But you know what?  I still like church.  I don't go often.  But I still remain friends with several people that do and even help out when there is a need.   I can not like something, disagree with something, perhaps not even believe in something, but still love the people involved, believe in their hearts, and what they are doing.

So I get it, you like Trump.  You think he's the greatest.  Fine.   But you have to remember something.  It's a really important detail.  He's the President of the United States of America.   His primary goal is to make America great for all citizens.   Right now, he's trying to make America great for himself and only those that support him.  His words create division.  He is not careful with what he says and the consequences that may follow.   He is disrespectful to our fellow man, regardless of you feel about said man, or woman.  This past Friday, September 22, he called many amazing mothers, "bitches".  Mothers that sacrificed so much so their sons could play a sport they loved.  With his wreckless words, he called them all bitches.  This man is so foolish with the things he says he doesn't realize that when you call a man, a son of a bitch, you are not criticizing the man.  You are criticizing his mother.  This is appalling, unacceptable behavior for a president.  And many that support him are willing to overlook this absurdity.  Guess what, you don't have to.  You deserve better.  You can expect more from the person you elected.  More class.  More professionalism.  And still be a supporter.  You don't have to take everything he says and worship it.  Just like the relationship I have with the church.  I can still recognize the good, while being unsettled about much of it and do it in a way that means no disrespect to those that still attend church.

But why protest during the National Anthem?  Well, why not?  It's peaceful.  It's not disrupting.  Think about the same scenario in a different environment.  Lets go back to church.  Imagine the whole congregation all walking up front to take communion and you saw a few remaining seated.  Wouldn't the first inclination be to sit down next to them and ask them what's wrong?   Rather, what our president is suggesting is to yell at that person, call him a son of a bitch, and demand he be removed from the premises for not participating.

The National Anthem is an important song to many.  It holds a lot of value and honor.  Even if the full song is controversial and has racist roots.  We've been able to ignore that and use the good parts of it as a sign and symbol of this great nation.  And America is pretty great.  For many people.  But sadly, still not all people.  And I'm not willing to settle for the fact that it's still better than other countries.

But many people are confusing the National Anthem with a celebratory act or moment to honor our military and veterans.  That's not what the National Anthem is about.  The anthem is about celebrating our country.  And if you can't fully celebrate our country, why fake it?  Why stand up even though you have some unsettling feelings about it?  Just like the person sitting for communion.  Something is keeping you from fully engaging in the celebration and remembrance.  So, rather than tell them to GTFO, perhaps listening to their concerns would be a better option.  Seek to understand the plights of our fellow Americans.

Because that's what we all are, fellow Americans.   And this is America.  We have certain unalienable rights.  Like the pursuit of liberty.  Freedom.  America is great.  But being great doesn't mean perfect. And I commend the people that see things that need to change, that bring awareness to it, and that do something to push the process of change forward.  And one of the first ways to bring change is to bring awareness to a problem.

I'm going to let alone the fact that Donald withdrew his invitation to the GS Warriors because there was some hesitation from one of the players to go.  But....

Be the bigger person, Mr. President.  Say something like, "I'm sorry you are hesitant to come to the White House Mr. Curry.  It's an honor to visit a place with such history and importance.  Your hesitation is concerning and I'd like to hear what's on your mind."   "Mr. Kaepernick, I've seen you kneeling for the National Anthem.  This song is a very important symbol to this great nation.  What can I do as President of this Nation to help you be able to stand and be proud of the country in which you live?"  But no,  this man in the White House....people say he's got a backbone.  No.  He has no backbone at all.  When he doesn't get his way or thinks someone doesn't like him, he turns into a whiny little crybaby and throws a big hissy fit.  Being successful in business doesn't mean you'd make a good president, and he's proven that for sure.   Sorry, I may have had you up until this point.  But sometimes truth comes up and slaps you in the face.

It Might Work, But it Doesn't Mean it's Right

Couple weeks ago I was talking to another about health care costs.  It's no mistake that they are rising.  I remember when I had to acquire health insurance as a self employed individual and paying around $70 a month for mainly emergency medical care.  Honestly, it was so confusing to me what was covered and what wasn't.  Fast forward fifteen years and it's gotten a lot more expensive and a lot more confusing.  Why can't health care just be simple?   That answer is a much longer piece of writing.  Like me, the other person wasn't happy with the rising costs.  

And then a thought donned on me.  What if health insurance was never supposed to as cheap as it was 15-20 years ago?  What if that price wasn't sustainable?  What if the costs now reflect more of what the actual cost of insurance is?   If that's true, then instead of being upset about what the costs are now, be upset at the costs that never should have been.   Obviously, that may not be the case.  The increase could be because of the poor health of country.  We are the most overfed and undernourished country in the world.

But that's not what I'm writing about today.  I'm challenging the way we look at they way things are.  Because the way things are may not be the right way.

From the moment we were born, several things were set in place.  Starting with where we were born. Then what color we are.  Then what kind of home we lived in to how attentive our parents were.   Pretty much up until we were 18, most decisions were made for us.  Depending on what country or culture you live in of course.  But even then.  Many are confined by society on what you can and can't do.  

I remember the first time I travelled to a third world country.  I couldn't believe that a place like that existed on this planet.  It literally was a different world.  Everything about it was different, except for the fact we were all humans.  And none of us got to choose where we were born.  And for many people, the choice to move isn't a reality.

Even traveling within my own country, the United States of America, there are drastic differences in what society and culture look like depending on your region.  Different municipalities, counties, cities and states have different laws.   These could vary greatly from place to place.

This perspective shift also shows up in religious beliefs too.  Many families have a belief system already in place for generations and you are brought right into it.  Many never deviate from the path that's been laid out by one's family.  Some though, myself included, start to question and challenge the "what is".   We've been told there are certain "have to's" but we learn pretty quickly that we don't actually "have to".  

What's the point?  Just because you've always done something doesn't mean that's the right way or the only way to do something.  Just because you've been taught something doesn't mean there aren't other ways.

Never close your mind.  Always be open to other possibilities.  Especially the possibility that you might be wrong or there might be another way.

My Friend Dan.

I've always loved the term, perfectly imperfect.  I'm not exactly sure where it came from, but it's been my life motto for many years now.  It infiltrates everything in my life.  Some say it's a sign of perfectionism.  You leave projects unfinished purposely because you know they'll never be perfect.  So then you can say it's perfectly imperfect.

Perfectly imperfect things are unique.  There are no other things just like it.

I learned today that my friend Dan also loved this term.  Wabi-sabi.  Wabi-sabi cares for all things authentic and recognizes that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

Dan and I worked together in the Spring and Early summer of 2014.  It wasn't long until we began having deep conversations about life, spirituality, emotions, mental illness, depression, and anxiety.  Basically all things deep that normal people don't really get into because they aren't always comfortable conversations.   We worked on an old cabin together at Fuller lake in Pine Grove State Park and an old farmhouse outside of Mt. Holly Springs.  That's where Dan discovered this and captured history with this digital image.  It was a small piece of authenticity from this house that was being renovated into something new.  And then we painted over it.  Ok, I painted over it.  I don't know that Dan could have.

Dan was always encouraging me to check out the Metropolis Collective in Mechanicsburg.   He said I'd love it.  Dan was an artist.  A really skilled artist at that.  That's why I thought he'd be good help for me that summer.  For some reason I thought that being skilled at using a brush would be a good attribute for a residential house painter.  Not the same brush.  Not the same at all.  Dan was an artist through and through.  And I enjoyed every minute we spent working together.  And despite the difference in brush work, he was a fine house painter.

Dan introduced me to one of my now favorite genres of music.  Indie folk.  I guess it's indie folk, whatever Bon Iver is.   It has brought me peace in some of my most emotional moments.  In a way I think only Dan could understand.

At the end of that year, Dan asked me if he could buy a few of my dropcloths.  He said they would look nice for a display they were working on at the gallery.  He then offered me more money than what it would be if he bought new ones and splashed paint on them.   I didn't understand.  His explanation....

"I can't recreate this.  These dropcloths are authentic.  And that's what I'm looking for." 

That's an important lesson for us all.

The creative person doesn't create things for money.  They crave authenticity.  They crave the possibility of what can be.  They create things because that's who they are.  Actually, I don't know why people create things.  Probably a lot of reasons.  You can't put a price on the inspiration we get from a creative mind.   That's probably why you've heard someone say they are a "struggling artist".   

A struggling artist.  

That was Dan.  We both shared our struggles with depression and anxiety.  At times it's debilitating.  You don't want to leave your house.  You feel trapped.  These are the words of a creative mind whose been to those depths.  

I wish I had a hope, a wish or a dream that could manifest.

To escape this sorry life and run away, chase the rising sun until the darkness fades away.  

But it’s like a trap.  The lights go on but I can’t say goodbye from the darkness in my life.  Unseen chains have me locked up, bound and broken, crucified to this lie and I can’t.  Breathe.  

That was me.  I wrote those words.  I placed them in a perfectly imperfect song, one of my creative outlets.  

On August 21 2017 Daniel Kalbach was released from the captivity of those chains unseen by many.  He was in a car accident early that monday morning.  Dan loved many and had a heart for others despite his own struggles.  He was loved by many and will be missed by all.  

These are a few of the drop cloth recreations.  May we never fail to see the value in something old, used and abused.  May we never fail to see the inspiration that can be brought to us through art.  There is something special about a drop cloth.  It doesn't mind getting dirty so something else has a better chance of staying clean.  The sacrifice of ones self for another.

Thank you Dan.  I'll never forget the impact that both your life,  and your death has had on me.  Rest in Peace, my friend.  Wabi-sabi.