to the family in the woods.....

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hunt on some private land way out in the middle of nowhere.  On sunday, I was out preparing my spot to hunt and  stumbled across a family living in the woods.  They certainly were surprised to see me, and I them.  Their home seemed to meet their immediate needs.  You could see that is wasn't well put together, using what little resources they had available.  They didn't say anything to me, despite me trying to talk to them.  I decided that I best just mind my own business and let them carry on.   I didn't really know what to do.  I think I scared them because they thought they were so well hidden and all they worked so hard for would vanish.  

Should I tell someone about them?  What if I told the wrong person and I made this family worse off?  Do I take responsibility for them?  I already have a family to take care of. So many questions.....

I could bring food to them, but only for a few days.  I would be leaving.  I don't know that they would understand that the food would stop.  Do I leave enough food to last them the winter?  

It really got me thinking about all the other opportunities to help people that I have.  The homeless man on the corner asking for money.  Is the 5$ really going to help him?  Should I take him in town to the local shelter if he really needs help?  Clearly he knows it's there, but maybe he does "better" standing on the corner gathering spare change and dollar bills from passing motorists.  

It leaves the question, What really helps people?  A one time gift?  Does that work?  What about relying on many others one time gifts too?   

So what did I do to the family in the woods? I gave them a quarter of a granola bar and some buffalo style ranch sunflower seeds.  I really don't know how much a family of mice living in an upside down 5 gallon bucket  filled with leaves up in a treestand eats, but I'm sure every little bit helps. 

hahahaha, very funny.   Right?  Wrong?  this situation happens all day every day for many people.  We all want to help people but it is a very hard decision on how.  How do I help them so that they can take care of themselves long term.  So many times we say feed a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach him and he eats for life.  Are we teaching? Are you making time to teach others how to fish?  Not just your own family, but others who have no one to teach?   

Are you committing to help others?  Or do you just want to show them a good time around the holidays?  Is it about you or about them?  

I don't have all the answers.  I'm still searching for them.  I'm just hoping more and more of you ask the questions.....

To everything....

Here I sit, IPad on MyLap, pondering on what I shall write about.  I don't want to force anything, but I know if I let my fingers keep moving something will come out.  Yesterday I learned I am a perfectionist. Perfectionist's are NOT people who have to have everything perfect.  And perfection is in the eye of the beholder.  Sometimes I will write about a topic, and write, and write some more.  I will get to a point where I need to close, but cannot wrap it up in a nice "perfect" way, so I delete it all.  Today I'll just write, and however I stop, I will stop.  No need to be perfect. 

First things first.  I've seen this video floating around.  37 seconds worth.  It's this average sized woman laying down with a red bikini on.  For the next 35 seconds or so it shows professional photo shoppers make her look about 25 lbs skinnier, healthier skin and various other "enhancements". And people are outraged and upset that companies do this.  Does it surprise you?  Isn't this what everyone else does?  Tries to look better?  By eating better, exercising, wearing make up, having surgeries.  Don't blame marketing agents, don't let them have that power over you.  You are beautiful.  The marketing companies are mimicking YOU. They can just do it alot faster, cause it's FAKE. 

Second.  Say you have a person with a mans brain and a woman's parts. Possible?  I am leaning towards a resounding yes.  Can I prove it? Not exactly.  But I see the trees moving. Say this "woman" changes her parts to fit how "he" sees himself.  She (according to parts) now sees who he really thinks he is when he looks in the mirror.  Some people think this is wrong, but yet have no problems with women who don't like their boobs.  So they make them bigger or smaller.  Still boobs, still a women. But why did her mind tell her otherwise?  Should she have to change to be loved, no.  But she had to change for her to love herself.  What about a facelift, nosejob, tummy tuck etc?  I know many Church going folk that would be outraged at a man that got rid of his boobs and grew a beard to feel more like a man, but wouldn't bat an eye when a women got a boob job.   Just some thoughts here.  By no means are they ever finished. 

Third.  I'm really screwed up.  I find that out on a daily basis. I continually try to grow. I'm really not happy about this particular blog, but they were some thoughts floating around.  I thought I'd throw them out into the world and see what response I get.  I'm not claiming to be right, just claiming to think.    If I wanted to, I could continue on and make some sort of point to all this.  But I'll save that for another day.    

Jesus Appearance

They say I look like Jesus, but they are the ones ministering to me. This is all I could think about during my last visit to Haiti over the weekend of April 4-8 2013. It is a great privilege to be able to visit a child in a third world country that you send money to. We have sponsored children before through other organizations and would never have been able to visit them. In fact it wasn't even allowed. What a joy to know that through Freedom Global Outreach, visiting is encouraged! It is an honor to be able to write some thoughts down after having visited twice and be able to share them with you all. I am not an expert by any means, but I have eyes that see and ears that hear and have had every question answered by FGO about the ministry that I have asked. And I ask a lot of questions!

The first lesson I learned was on my first trip over New Years 2012-2013. I realized how lazy I had been with our gift bags. Often times putting them together the night after the deadline. To see the happiness on the children's faces when they receive something from someone that cares about them! I never asked what the kids like, what good presents are or anything. I never took the time to print out thoughtful photographs. I didn't think they really cared about us, but boy was I wrong! They LOVE the photos we send! I deleted about 150 photos from my camera of photos they took of photos that YOU sent them! They love candy too! It wasn't until april when Noel showed me some of the things that we had gotten him 4 months before that I understood that they care about us and remember us. All the girls knew who I was because of the photos my mom and sister sent down to their sponsor children. I will always take time, ask questions and be thoughtful about what I put into the bags now. NO MORE PUZZLES or LEGOS! To many pieces to get lost! If you aren't sure what to put in a bag, just ask! And as far as the deadlines go, the ones putting all these bags together and getting them organized are UNPAID! Anything I can do to make their volunteer work easier I will. And that includes getting sponsor bags, letters or returning emails done ASAP! As far as what we get back from the children, it doesn't matter to me. I realize it is very stressful to organize safe passage of what we send to Haiti, it is equally as stressful to have the kids prepare things for us and bring them back. We can print as many photos as we want from those that have visited. I realized that being a sponsor...it's not about me. It's about taking care of the children. They have been through so much already. It is not my place to know everything about their past. What's important is that I show them that I care about them and make an effort to learn about them. Many of the people that have visited would LOVE to share all about their experience with the child you sponsor!

The second thing I learned was about having my sponsorship money in on time. I met Pastor Abraham this April. He oversees the school and the orphanages. I can't begin to write about what an amazing man he is. Words will not do it justice. To me, he's the one that looks like Jesus. And he doesn't have a beard. Humble, grateful, calm, polite, loving and always taking care of the needs of others before himself. I realized that when I am late with a payment, he pays. This is haiti, people just don't have extra money floating around. So when he pays, it takes away from his family. The faith of this man is incredible. If you saw Haiti, and you saw what he is doing for the needs of the Haitian people, you would have no doubt that it is God working through him. So when it comes to paying my monthly dues, they will be on time. Pastor Abraham does not ask us for money, ever. As far as the double sponsorship goes. I think it is a great idea! Even if we solely paid $60, I know the money would go to benefit only the lives of the children at the orphanages. It is very evident where the money goes when you see how well these children are taken care of. Don't think they are in the Ritz though....it's still Haiti, they are still orphans, and they are still kids that require a lot of care! But the FGO team is doing a great job providing food, schooling, basic needs and more importantly, relationships!

For those of you that have been down to visit, you've seen first hand the difference you are making in the lives of these kids, their caretakers, their school teachers and Pastor Abraham and his family. For those that plan on going in the future, I can't wait to hear about your experience. Even if you have no plans of ever visiting, I want you to know from a guy who is not on the leadership team of FGO that they are doing an astounding job taking care of these kids. And to learn that they are all UNPAID is awesome. I have nothing against anyone in this line of work getting paid, but to know that they are all volunteers it makes me want to step up and do my part even more.

And lastly, there is still much work to be done. There is a "law" that has loosely been enforced in Haiti about how much affiliation a child has with the orphanage once they are 18. We need to prepare for life after 18 for these children. Savings accounts need to be set up for college educations, more children will be added to the orphanage due to the added space that has been made available, budget gaps need to be filled and so many other unforeseen expenses. Many hands make light work. So thank you all for all that you do in the giving of your money, time and other resources to make life better for these children! They love you!

because celebrating a bad guys death is somehow ok.

Sometimes I don't know who has more evil in their hearts. The ones that commit a crime and harm or kill an innocent person or the ones that celebrate and say things like "Good, he deserves everything he gets. They should die!" The bible says in Matthew 5 that if a man commits adultery in his heart, it's just the same as actually committing it. So if we wish death or harm unto someone, isn't that not the same as actually doing it? Often times if the criminal dies, we hear people say they are glad they died, they deserved it, I hope they rot in hell. Don't get me wrong, I support full punishment of crimes committed as a judge and jury see fit. Let due process take it's course. As a believer, I do not wish anyone rot in hell. Paul, the greatest missionary of all time was once a murderer. He murdered the very people of whom which he would become. What does that say about us as Christians who wish death upon someone?

By keeping my mouth closed about the gospel when I know I should speak am I in a sense inviting people to rot in hell? If they never hear the gospel, then what?

What about terrorists? What about rapists? What about serial killers? What about the LRA? These are bad people. How should we feel about these people? I'm not going to tell you. It is my dream and hope that all with live in light of eternity. To live is Christ to die is gain. If I am murdered, I pray that through my death they may find Christ!

talk to me about this one!

expendentures.

Yes, I know. That's not how you spell expenditure. It's a typo on purpose. Because this blog is about spending money on food, hence the denture ending. I recently bought half a cow. We will probably sell off some of the meat, but end up keeping most for ourself. I posted a picture of the beef in the freezer, which will feed us our beef for about 2 years. A remark was made about it feeding a village. Why yes, yes it could. It could also have paid for lodging, food AND school for a child in Haiti for 4 YEARS.
Onto my point. Sure, we bought all the beef at once, and paid less than the average cost cost per pound for beef. Oh, less then the cost of factory farmed beef. This is totally grass fed local farm raised beef. So we have beef for about two years and paid less than what you pay for stuff at the grocery store. So doing it this way is more economical and it supported the local economy. That wasn't even my point. But it did raise good questions about how we spend our money.
My point is to be mindful about how we spend our money. Not all things we spend money on is bad. But there are better ways to spend our money. Something I did over December was to not spend money at gas stations, fast food and other convenience purchases. I tracked what I may have spent and it totaled $640. I didn't miss any of that stuff. I bought what I needed from the grocery store and ended up eating healthier as well. What do I do with that $640? I donated some. I used some to help pay for a trip to Haiti to visit and make new friends. But I didn't spend it on myself. There are many people around the world that don't have things at their fingertips like we do. They can't just go buy something whenever they are hungry. I'm not saying just up and send all your money to those places. Even if you did, it may not even help. You didn't teach anything. Just think if there is a BETTER way to use your resources. To do some research on where your money goes after you spend it. or even after you give it.

Sorry this post wasn't more informative. I'm still learning about how you can truly help people long term, not just short term. Learning how to make an local economy thrive. So, comments are encouraged on ways to help people with your resources.

That is NOT the farm I got my beef from...but a farm I took a picture of. Bonus points if you can guess where it is.

Authority and Judgement.

In a nutshell. I believe in eternity. When you die you go to heaven or hell. I'm not an expert in this. I can only speak about what I believe. I live in acceptance that God created the earth and all that is in it. Do I believe in evolution, sure. Some aspects of it. It's more adaptation that I believe. But i'm open to hear others thoughts. I believe God created humans so that he could love us and give us a life. I won't get into the whole story of God, creation and Jesus but I will tell you that the fall of man started with not following the one rule that was given. Don't eat the apple. What did man do....ate the apple. of course thats what we do, what we are told we aren't to do. We need to know what will happen. Ever wonder where that started....Adam and Eve. A whole lot of stuff happened in between that and Jesus. Long story short, I don't understand God. I never will. I try, but fall desperately short of the impossible (go figure). God needed to save His people, so he sent his son to be a perfect example. Then we killed him. but even that was all part of the redemption plan. He rose from the dead and served as a sacrifice for us. God hasn't killed anyone for disobeying since. Thanks for Jesus. That is a very loose version. So I accept the fact that Jesus died so that I could live eternally in Heaven with God. I also live as an example of Christ. To not judge others, to smile at my neighbors, to heal people (physically and emotionally), to reach out to the broken, to reach out to those that can't reach up and so many other things that Jesus did. Don't listen to what others say about Jesus, pick up the bible and read about Him for yourself. Open up yourself to listen to a Higher being. I think if more Christians acted like Jesus, more non christians would see how cool Jesus is. So that's how I live, that's what I believe (in a seriously seriously small nutshell). Whats the point?

Many people object because they think it's a sick ultimatum (at least thats the most popular answer I've heard, outside of if God was real why do bad things happen?) Accept Jesus and that he died for me and live a pretty awesome life helping others and sharing the good news of Christ and go to heaven or don't and go to hell. That doesn't seem fair. So I'll just go live my own way and leave eternity up for chance. That's a totally acceptable answer. I understand that. It's tough to deal with accepting the authority of God. I bring a simple question to the table. When you drive your car, do you hold the steering wheel or Do you just drive down the highway at cruising speed with nothing on the wheel? Of course you steer, otherwise the car would be worthless. You couldn't even get out of the driveway if you didn't steer. heres my point and I'm kind of reaching for it, but God is the car. If you don't grab hold of the wheel you most likely would face a certain death. Especially if you let go after you were already on the highway. So why not grab hold of God? I think if you'd take the stereotypical glasses off of what it means to be a christian as portrayed by many today (i.e. westboro baptist church, and any other quoted tv "christian" leader ) and forget about your old church or experiences you'd find a refreshing new picture of who Jesus is and how he lives.

So, what if I'm wrong? I still lived a pretty awesome life of loving others then I die. I don't see anything wrong with that. So, what if I'm right? Eternity is at stake and I don't want to risk it.

As with all my blogs. I'm open for discussion. I put my thoughts out there.

things learned on the run

Two things I was reminded of today while training for an upcoming 50k. Well, 3 things actually. This first is that I am totally not fit for long distance trail running. But I love it anyway. I guess that's what training is for. Number two is this...Action precedes motivation. The hardest part is to just do it. You'll thank yourself later (most of the time).

The third is the big thing. During training, sprint the hills. Don't worry about how far you can run in a training run. Work on the hard stuff. I equate sprinting hills to life in this way. Before bad things happen in your life, think about them. Think about losing a loved one. Think about if you totaled your car in an accident. Think about losing your job. Think about having a miscarriage. Think about being diagnosed with cancer. Think about how the best way you could react in all these situations. Think about where your strength comes from. Think about if you had to choose one life over another. I don't know, whatever difficulties could come your way, think about it. Don't let it get you down, but think about how you would act so if those things ever happened you've already prepared. It still won't be easy, but at least you've already had some training. I do this often. There is no guarantee in any situation to know if you'll act the way you've trained, but it sure won't hurt at all. This stuff helps me. It may or may not help you.

As I'm writing this a few people come to mind. They have been faced with some really challenging times. There is no way you can prepare properly for some of the stuff you encounter. So don't think my advice is a cure all for handling situations. It's only a suggestion that has helped me.

Openness and respect.

I have recently opened my eyes to acceptance. Being a follower of Christ, I try to live by His example. I believe in God and Jesus and the redemptive power of the cross and the resurrection from the grave. I don't force this belief on anyone. This isn't really all I want to talk about, but it does tie into it. For most of my adult life I thought that if you were gay you were a sinner. I would make jokes about gay people. In fact, there are some that used to call me gay. I'm not sure why they did, but as a rebuttal I'm pretty sure I called them the sons of satan for doing so at one point. So why was it ok for me to make gay jokes? It wasn't. I used to think that killing was ok too. Long story short, I thought a lot differently than I do know. But I still called myself a Christian. Just goes to show that you can say dumb things and still call yourself a follower of the most perfect person ever.

Over the past year I have had a change of heart. Where did this come from? Opening myself up to the Gospel (good news) of Christ. Really trying to find out how Christ would act. Did Jesus make fun of people? Did Jesus kill people? No and no. things I "thought" were ok. So I've tried to be open and accepting of those that are unlike me. I'm not great at it, but learning everyday about what it means to follow Christ and how to apply it to my life. This also includes not only accepting people as friends, but also not talking about them behind their back about why I disagree with their life but still loving them as people. (I repeat....I'm not perfect at this but getting better). This all came about when I was reading a friends facebook feed and I realized I see this person degrading God and Jesus or speaking badly about what I believe. It took me by surprise, since I have been sticking up for this friend repeatedly. It made me feel pretty bad. The thing that they were talking bad about was the very reason I have come to know and think highly of this person. Kind of ironic isn't it. But then I as I write this I realize how often I unintentionally do the same thing to others. Talk about hitting yourself in the head!

What's the point? Always be aware of who your audience is. People have ears everywhere. You may be causing someone hurt and not even know it. And for no good reason either!

Another personal example. I was in line at kohls wearing my VFF's (the toe shoes) and made a comment about kohls toe shoes only having 4 toes and how weird that was. I meant no harm by it and a young mom was in front of us who just had a child with a foot deformity and was hurt by my remark. They told me months later how much it hurt to hear that. Turns out they were a Facebook friend of mine.

Choose your words wisely. Did you hear that Jonathan Geiman!?!

guns, pacifism and stuff.

*my thoughts sometime in early january of 2015
The below portion I wrote several years ago.  Quite honestly it's not what I expected having re read it.  I feel like I navigated these deep waters in a relatively shallow manner.   Perhaps that is best.  However, I was talking with a friend who just watched American Sniper and it really got me thinking.  I read a little about the movie and the emotional trauma that occurs in someone like Chris Kyle's life.  I don't want to tread in waters that I don't know anything about, but I have to believe that someone with his skill and ability to do what he does isn't by accident. There are people that practice really hard and are good at stuff, then there is raw, natural talent.  And when you combine practice and discipline with that, you get the best.

Anyway, onto my thought.  I don't understand human behavior.  And I don't understand God.  I know everyone and everything can be redeemed.  I thought I had to be right.  I thought I had to know where God stood on taking the life of another regardless of the circumstances.  Guess what?  I don't.   Perhaps there are some people that cannot be reached by good moral humans to discuss their decisions during their life.  That the only way to get their attention was to introduce them to God...through physical death.  The acts they were going to commit were so heinous, taking their life would be better than letting them take the lives of so many others.  It's hard for me to admit that, but remember, I don't have to be right.  Who is to say that God put those talented snipers on earth to stop these people?  Who is to say He didn't?  Who is to say that the only way to reach those so evil is to put them in front of God and let God deal with them? Who is to say it's not the only way?    As humans, we all have a right to say whatever we want.   As I discussed in a previous blog,  I'm not certain what I believe about Hell.  So lets pretend for a minute that Hell doesn't exist.  I don't believe for a second that when one truly encounters God that they can deny His existence.  And it's at that point I will trust God has it under control.  And that the one that was so evil that deserved death, gets a shot at a new life. 

*my thoughts in late january 2015 after reading this article.
     I don't think anyone that follows Jesus could be in a position to kill another.  But, you know, I'm no theologian.  I just don't believe he ever set that example.  My thoughts on the military and if we need it and those who are in it.  I have to respect their decision.  But the military today is not the military of our fathers or our grandfathers.  Those are most likely who influenced the most in that decision.  And certainly not our grandfathers fathers and grandfathers.   

Also, there are those actively serving and those they take orders from.  And these must be separated.  I know many in active service who are now pissed at that decision and want out.  Simply because it's not at all what they had in mind. 




2/2/13
Over the past year or so I had listened to several sermons about pacifism. I had never really thought about it that much. I am a Christian. I love Jesus. I love God. I try to be a good example of Jesus. I often fail. I try to understand who Jesus was. Not just from reading the bible, but really connecting with my heart and His. WWJD? In todays world it seems so many look to the founding fathers for their christian instruction. I find this absurd. I actually find it absurd to look to anything or anyone as the final word on how to act other that Christ himself. Unless you don't believe in Him. Then I trust that you really search your heart and be silent and whatever speaks to you, let it. We all hear a voice.

Back to pacifism. nevermind. I don't want to go there in this blog. It is a very personal thought to wrestle with. If you believe in Christ and want to live as Christ live....I encourage you to pray, meditate, listen and just let God speak to you about taking a life of another. There are many different situations. The sermons I listened totaled about 5 hours, so to try to sum it up in a few paragraphs would be an insult.

But seriously, Christian brothers and sisters. Why do you care if you own a gun or not? Think about it, long and hard. You are going to heaven right? What's your goal as a Christian? Get as many others to go with you right? So where does a gun fit in?

This is heavy stuff. Don't form an opinion about me or think I judged you in any way. I am always open for conversation. Matters of the heart aren't determined in a few written words by man. Would Jesus be lobbying for gun rights on the steps of the capitol? Would Jesus be standing in line supporting free speech at chic fila? Would Jesus be found carrying a gun? The disciples never used violence despite tremendous persecution.

Just some Thots o' lIFE