expendentures.

Yes, I know. That's not how you spell expenditure. It's a typo on purpose. Because this blog is about spending money on food, hence the denture ending. I recently bought half a cow. We will probably sell off some of the meat, but end up keeping most for ourself. I posted a picture of the beef in the freezer, which will feed us our beef for about 2 years. A remark was made about it feeding a village. Why yes, yes it could. It could also have paid for lodging, food AND school for a child in Haiti for 4 YEARS.
Onto my point. Sure, we bought all the beef at once, and paid less than the average cost cost per pound for beef. Oh, less then the cost of factory farmed beef. This is totally grass fed local farm raised beef. So we have beef for about two years and paid less than what you pay for stuff at the grocery store. So doing it this way is more economical and it supported the local economy. That wasn't even my point. But it did raise good questions about how we spend our money.
My point is to be mindful about how we spend our money. Not all things we spend money on is bad. But there are better ways to spend our money. Something I did over December was to not spend money at gas stations, fast food and other convenience purchases. I tracked what I may have spent and it totaled $640. I didn't miss any of that stuff. I bought what I needed from the grocery store and ended up eating healthier as well. What do I do with that $640? I donated some. I used some to help pay for a trip to Haiti to visit and make new friends. But I didn't spend it on myself. There are many people around the world that don't have things at their fingertips like we do. They can't just go buy something whenever they are hungry. I'm not saying just up and send all your money to those places. Even if you did, it may not even help. You didn't teach anything. Just think if there is a BETTER way to use your resources. To do some research on where your money goes after you spend it. or even after you give it.

Sorry this post wasn't more informative. I'm still learning about how you can truly help people long term, not just short term. Learning how to make an local economy thrive. So, comments are encouraged on ways to help people with your resources.

That is NOT the farm I got my beef from...but a farm I took a picture of. Bonus points if you can guess where it is.

Authority and Judgement.

In a nutshell. I believe in eternity. When you die you go to heaven or hell. I'm not an expert in this. I can only speak about what I believe. I live in acceptance that God created the earth and all that is in it. Do I believe in evolution, sure. Some aspects of it. It's more adaptation that I believe. But i'm open to hear others thoughts. I believe God created humans so that he could love us and give us a life. I won't get into the whole story of God, creation and Jesus but I will tell you that the fall of man started with not following the one rule that was given. Don't eat the apple. What did man do....ate the apple. of course thats what we do, what we are told we aren't to do. We need to know what will happen. Ever wonder where that started....Adam and Eve. A whole lot of stuff happened in between that and Jesus. Long story short, I don't understand God. I never will. I try, but fall desperately short of the impossible (go figure). God needed to save His people, so he sent his son to be a perfect example. Then we killed him. but even that was all part of the redemption plan. He rose from the dead and served as a sacrifice for us. God hasn't killed anyone for disobeying since. Thanks for Jesus. That is a very loose version. So I accept the fact that Jesus died so that I could live eternally in Heaven with God. I also live as an example of Christ. To not judge others, to smile at my neighbors, to heal people (physically and emotionally), to reach out to the broken, to reach out to those that can't reach up and so many other things that Jesus did. Don't listen to what others say about Jesus, pick up the bible and read about Him for yourself. Open up yourself to listen to a Higher being. I think if more Christians acted like Jesus, more non christians would see how cool Jesus is. So that's how I live, that's what I believe (in a seriously seriously small nutshell). Whats the point?

Many people object because they think it's a sick ultimatum (at least thats the most popular answer I've heard, outside of if God was real why do bad things happen?) Accept Jesus and that he died for me and live a pretty awesome life helping others and sharing the good news of Christ and go to heaven or don't and go to hell. That doesn't seem fair. So I'll just go live my own way and leave eternity up for chance. That's a totally acceptable answer. I understand that. It's tough to deal with accepting the authority of God. I bring a simple question to the table. When you drive your car, do you hold the steering wheel or Do you just drive down the highway at cruising speed with nothing on the wheel? Of course you steer, otherwise the car would be worthless. You couldn't even get out of the driveway if you didn't steer. heres my point and I'm kind of reaching for it, but God is the car. If you don't grab hold of the wheel you most likely would face a certain death. Especially if you let go after you were already on the highway. So why not grab hold of God? I think if you'd take the stereotypical glasses off of what it means to be a christian as portrayed by many today (i.e. westboro baptist church, and any other quoted tv "christian" leader ) and forget about your old church or experiences you'd find a refreshing new picture of who Jesus is and how he lives.

So, what if I'm wrong? I still lived a pretty awesome life of loving others then I die. I don't see anything wrong with that. So, what if I'm right? Eternity is at stake and I don't want to risk it.

As with all my blogs. I'm open for discussion. I put my thoughts out there.

things learned on the run

Two things I was reminded of today while training for an upcoming 50k. Well, 3 things actually. This first is that I am totally not fit for long distance trail running. But I love it anyway. I guess that's what training is for. Number two is this...Action precedes motivation. The hardest part is to just do it. You'll thank yourself later (most of the time).

The third is the big thing. During training, sprint the hills. Don't worry about how far you can run in a training run. Work on the hard stuff. I equate sprinting hills to life in this way. Before bad things happen in your life, think about them. Think about losing a loved one. Think about if you totaled your car in an accident. Think about losing your job. Think about having a miscarriage. Think about being diagnosed with cancer. Think about how the best way you could react in all these situations. Think about where your strength comes from. Think about if you had to choose one life over another. I don't know, whatever difficulties could come your way, think about it. Don't let it get you down, but think about how you would act so if those things ever happened you've already prepared. It still won't be easy, but at least you've already had some training. I do this often. There is no guarantee in any situation to know if you'll act the way you've trained, but it sure won't hurt at all. This stuff helps me. It may or may not help you.

As I'm writing this a few people come to mind. They have been faced with some really challenging times. There is no way you can prepare properly for some of the stuff you encounter. So don't think my advice is a cure all for handling situations. It's only a suggestion that has helped me.

Openness and respect.

I have recently opened my eyes to acceptance. Being a follower of Christ, I try to live by His example. I believe in God and Jesus and the redemptive power of the cross and the resurrection from the grave. I don't force this belief on anyone. This isn't really all I want to talk about, but it does tie into it. For most of my adult life I thought that if you were gay you were a sinner. I would make jokes about gay people. In fact, there are some that used to call me gay. I'm not sure why they did, but as a rebuttal I'm pretty sure I called them the sons of satan for doing so at one point. So why was it ok for me to make gay jokes? It wasn't. I used to think that killing was ok too. Long story short, I thought a lot differently than I do know. But I still called myself a Christian. Just goes to show that you can say dumb things and still call yourself a follower of the most perfect person ever.

Over the past year I have had a change of heart. Where did this come from? Opening myself up to the Gospel (good news) of Christ. Really trying to find out how Christ would act. Did Jesus make fun of people? Did Jesus kill people? No and no. things I "thought" were ok. So I've tried to be open and accepting of those that are unlike me. I'm not great at it, but learning everyday about what it means to follow Christ and how to apply it to my life. This also includes not only accepting people as friends, but also not talking about them behind their back about why I disagree with their life but still loving them as people. (I repeat....I'm not perfect at this but getting better). This all came about when I was reading a friends facebook feed and I realized I see this person degrading God and Jesus or speaking badly about what I believe. It took me by surprise, since I have been sticking up for this friend repeatedly. It made me feel pretty bad. The thing that they were talking bad about was the very reason I have come to know and think highly of this person. Kind of ironic isn't it. But then I as I write this I realize how often I unintentionally do the same thing to others. Talk about hitting yourself in the head!

What's the point? Always be aware of who your audience is. People have ears everywhere. You may be causing someone hurt and not even know it. And for no good reason either!

Another personal example. I was in line at kohls wearing my VFF's (the toe shoes) and made a comment about kohls toe shoes only having 4 toes and how weird that was. I meant no harm by it and a young mom was in front of us who just had a child with a foot deformity and was hurt by my remark. They told me months later how much it hurt to hear that. Turns out they were a Facebook friend of mine.

Choose your words wisely. Did you hear that Jonathan Geiman!?!

guns, pacifism and stuff.

*my thoughts sometime in early january of 2015
The below portion I wrote several years ago.  Quite honestly it's not what I expected having re read it.  I feel like I navigated these deep waters in a relatively shallow manner.   Perhaps that is best.  However, I was talking with a friend who just watched American Sniper and it really got me thinking.  I read a little about the movie and the emotional trauma that occurs in someone like Chris Kyle's life.  I don't want to tread in waters that I don't know anything about, but I have to believe that someone with his skill and ability to do what he does isn't by accident. There are people that practice really hard and are good at stuff, then there is raw, natural talent.  And when you combine practice and discipline with that, you get the best.

Anyway, onto my thought.  I don't understand human behavior.  And I don't understand God.  I know everyone and everything can be redeemed.  I thought I had to be right.  I thought I had to know where God stood on taking the life of another regardless of the circumstances.  Guess what?  I don't.   Perhaps there are some people that cannot be reached by good moral humans to discuss their decisions during their life.  That the only way to get their attention was to introduce them to God...through physical death.  The acts they were going to commit were so heinous, taking their life would be better than letting them take the lives of so many others.  It's hard for me to admit that, but remember, I don't have to be right.  Who is to say that God put those talented snipers on earth to stop these people?  Who is to say He didn't?  Who is to say that the only way to reach those so evil is to put them in front of God and let God deal with them? Who is to say it's not the only way?    As humans, we all have a right to say whatever we want.   As I discussed in a previous blog,  I'm not certain what I believe about Hell.  So lets pretend for a minute that Hell doesn't exist.  I don't believe for a second that when one truly encounters God that they can deny His existence.  And it's at that point I will trust God has it under control.  And that the one that was so evil that deserved death, gets a shot at a new life. 

*my thoughts in late january 2015 after reading this article.
     I don't think anyone that follows Jesus could be in a position to kill another.  But, you know, I'm no theologian.  I just don't believe he ever set that example.  My thoughts on the military and if we need it and those who are in it.  I have to respect their decision.  But the military today is not the military of our fathers or our grandfathers.  Those are most likely who influenced the most in that decision.  And certainly not our grandfathers fathers and grandfathers.   

Also, there are those actively serving and those they take orders from.  And these must be separated.  I know many in active service who are now pissed at that decision and want out.  Simply because it's not at all what they had in mind. 




2/2/13
Over the past year or so I had listened to several sermons about pacifism. I had never really thought about it that much. I am a Christian. I love Jesus. I love God. I try to be a good example of Jesus. I often fail. I try to understand who Jesus was. Not just from reading the bible, but really connecting with my heart and His. WWJD? In todays world it seems so many look to the founding fathers for their christian instruction. I find this absurd. I actually find it absurd to look to anything or anyone as the final word on how to act other that Christ himself. Unless you don't believe in Him. Then I trust that you really search your heart and be silent and whatever speaks to you, let it. We all hear a voice.

Back to pacifism. nevermind. I don't want to go there in this blog. It is a very personal thought to wrestle with. If you believe in Christ and want to live as Christ live....I encourage you to pray, meditate, listen and just let God speak to you about taking a life of another. There are many different situations. The sermons I listened totaled about 5 hours, so to try to sum it up in a few paragraphs would be an insult.

But seriously, Christian brothers and sisters. Why do you care if you own a gun or not? Think about it, long and hard. You are going to heaven right? What's your goal as a Christian? Get as many others to go with you right? So where does a gun fit in?

This is heavy stuff. Don't form an opinion about me or think I judged you in any way. I am always open for conversation. Matters of the heart aren't determined in a few written words by man. Would Jesus be lobbying for gun rights on the steps of the capitol? Would Jesus be standing in line supporting free speech at chic fila? Would Jesus be found carrying a gun? The disciples never used violence despite tremendous persecution.

Just some Thots o' lIFE