Our First Noel

This is a story of transformation.  About a boy who is facing his fears and growing into a young man and eventually an adult.  This is Noel, he is the boy we sponsor through Freedom Global Outreach.   There aren't many organizations that provide you the opportunity to visit with the children you help care for financially.  What a blessing it is to spend quality time with Noel.  What a blessing it has been watching the transformation of this young boy who when I met him for the first time he sat along the wall  with sadness, fear and a loneliness in is eyes.  They said he would be perfect for me.  Although it is our family that sponsors Noel, I am the only one that has been able to spend time with him.  For now, Emily is planning a trip in the near future! 

 

After that first trip, I went back a few months later.  Not much changed with Noel.  There was still a sadness.  Or so it seemed.  He rarely showed much positive emotion.  There wasn't much interaction with him and the other boys that I could see.  After many trips back over the past two years, as well as other groups.  We've been able to see Noel go from shy, sad and aloof to somewhat shy, happy and present.  Often smiling and playing with other kids.  He now greets me with a huge smile and a great big hug.   Here he is on my most recent trip.  We were having fun taking selfies.  He not only gets along with me, but is extremely comfortable with others as well. 

 

Noel's story is not unusual.  All the kids that come into the orphanage have one.  They all need love.  We have a great opportunity to show that to these children, and children around the world.  There are several ways to do that.  You could come visit, you'll most likely go back a second time.  Just sayin. You could sponsor a child.  You could give to the ministry.  You could give to someone like me :-) to go on more trips to invest in the lives of these kids.  

 My mom and sister with their sponsor children.  Linshey, Clenock and Richena

 Those eyes speak.

 Ashli, Gary and Noel

  More selfie fun

Diakon's Flight program spending time with the kids

Vern and Noel.  Told you he gets comfortable with the other visitors!

When the Sponsor organizers said that Noel would be perfect for us, I had no idea.  But now I see the big picture.  They probably didn't even know at the time how perfect.  Because they all are.  They could have given us any of the kids and it would have been perfect.  But let me tell you, when I share about the transformation about Noel.  Going from a young boy who had eyes that said he was scared, that he felt alone, a misunderstanding of where he was and why he was there and yet he moved forward.  With the hope of what's to come he took it day by day.  And over the past two years of battling demons of fear and sadness and allowing others to be a part of his life,  he has grown into a happy, healthy, smiling young man ready to give you a hug whether you want it or not.  Sometimes, when I share about Noel I forget who's transformation I'm talking about.  His or mine.    

Be a Gator

"Being brave isn't the same as not feeling scared. Being brave is about what you do even when you do feel scared."

— Gator, Tale of the Brave 

Yes.  That is a Thomas the Tank Engine character.  I started praying with my son, Josiah (3), at night.  Often times I will ask him who or what we should pray for.  A few nights ago he said we should pray for Gator.  

Who's Gator?  He's a train from the latest Thomas movie, Tale of the Brave. Gator has overcome some fears in his days as an engine.  Although he still has a slight fear of heights. But Gator is able to teach Percy how to handle fear and to be brave.  In turn it helps many other engines overcome some fears. 

So, back to the prayer.  I felt like I needed to pray for more than just Gator and scrap yard crane.  So I began to pray for the kids at the orphanages we visit.  Many of them struggle with fears and hurts of their own.  It's sometimes hard for us to see them, they are so happy when we are there.  But the reality of the situation strikes.  And I realize they need Gators.  So they can be Gators.  We can be their Gators.  So I began to pray that more and more people become Gators in the lives of children (and adults) that need them.  To help teach that being brave isn't about not being scared, but moving forward in spite of the fears and hurts.  

Be a Gator, and don't afraid to need a Gator. 

Boxed in on the Run

Get out of your box.  Free yourself.       

      Something I enjoy about trail running and running in general are the mental lessons.  Listening to your body instead of your mind.  I'll never forget the summer I started running.  It was 2012.  I started at 2 miles.  That was FAR.  I remember deciding to keep running.  I never liked running.  It sucked.  Most people think running sucks.  Because you're doing it wrong.  Most likely.  It's in your mind.  Free your mind, free your body.  I remember when I went from 2 miles to 4 miles.  Something really clicked when I hit 5.  Then I began to wonder just how far I could go.  Then 6 miles came and went. Onto 8, then 10.  Then came my first half marathon in September.  But the day before I ran my fastest 5k in 24:30.  Then I ran my first half marathon in a little over 2 hours.  But that wasn't the end of it.  Why stop there?  Why not go for a marathon?  Because we could go 5 more miles and say we ran and ULTRA Marathon!  Right Chris?  Sounded fantastic.  So I signed up for my first 50k, just months after I started running.  Didn't train worth a lick, ran a long run of 16 miles about a month prior.  This wasn't the greatest decision.  But I finished my first 50k on the trails in Allison Park in Pittsburgh in just about 8 hours.  It was the best worst day of my life.  And I was hooked.  I signed up for another 50k in April of the following year only to finish the 15k due to a knee injury.  And then my running slowed.  Until this year when I felt I needed to ramp things up and run 77 miles this September for my 33rd birthday.

    ANYWAY, I wasn't expecting to give you the recap of my running history.  But here's what you need to know.  Around a mile, assuming you have no other physical limitation you'll think you are going to die.  You won't (although I can't guarantee that, I don't know your personal health).   But if you push a little further, you'll learn that things don't get much worse.  They don't get that much better either though.  But you can continue, that's the important part.  If you are ready to quit at 2 miles, you can go 4.  At the end of 4, you will be ready to be done.  But the important thing is that you proved that most of the work to continue lies in your mind.  Your body can handle it.
  
     How often to we have a predetermined mindset on the parameters in which God can work?  Pretty often if you ask me.  If you let your mind go, and let God work, He can do infinitely greater things then we ever thought possible.   Paul tells us this in the book of Ephesians.  That even the LOVE of Christ surpasses knowledge.  So even if you think you know how deep the Fathers love is, it's deeper.  So deep we'll never be able to fully comprehend the depths.

    Let go of the framework that you've put God in.  Just let it go.  Any comparison we have that shows the love doesn't compare.  When we begin to think what God would do, or how God would work, or what is sin and what isn't sin, just let it go.  Our minds don't work that way.  But you know what we can do?  LOVE.   Cast aside judgements.  Cast aside preconceived notions.  Cast aside your need to be right.  And just LOVE.  Love Never Fails.

77

For more information and updates on 77, go here.

       Where to begin.....?  I guess I'll just go.  That's where great things usually spring forth.  Just taking the first step.   Those were some of the thoughts I had when my friend Matt Reichard asked me about two and half years ago to come to Haiti and do some photography for the ministry.  Playing with small children wasn't really my thing and I'm pretty sure Matt knew that.  But at the time he knew I enjoyed photography.  I didn't know it on that trip, but those children in Haiti would soon save my life.  And I would soon come to enjoy playing with little Haitian children. :-)   After my first trip I continued to go back several times, with my eighth trip scheduled for this December.  Every time I go, it's tough to leave.  But it gets a bit easier to say see you later because they know I'll be back.  But in the meantime there is plenty of work to be done stateside to help.  From getting sponsors for the children, raising funds for medical needs and making sure their housing, education and basic care is taken care of.  As well as connecting all of you to them.   One of the ways we do that is fundraisers and events to help spread awareness of the tangible ways you can help.  But remember, our job isn't to "save"  all of Haiti.  It's to be responsible for "77" little (and some that aren't so young anymore) children and invest in their lives in hopes that they make Haiti a better place in the future.

       Well, a month before my first trip to Haiti I ran my first ultra marathon.  32 miles according to my gps.  31 according to the race flyer.   It was one of the best worst things I've ever done.  And it planted an ultra running bug.  Part of a select few crazy enough to go beyond the 26.2 mile marathon and venture into the limitless beyond of what you are capable of.  I was going to try to use that race for a fundraiser, but my heart wasn't involved yet.  Guess what?  It is now.  Ultra's have been calling to me in my sleep (they know I'd pay more attention if I'm not 100% together) and I answered.  But by no mistake.  Let me explain.  Sorry if it seems sappy to you, it most certainly isn't  to me.   I lose myself on the trails.  I missed that.  I haven't been able to do that since my last ultra.  The thought entered my mind this past week in Haiti about running another 50k.  But I must have mistook the k for an m.  I decided that a 50 miler was in my future.  As I was driving home one afternoon last week, a thought popped in my head to run a 50 for my birthday on September 19.  But not just any 50, one that passes through my home town and on the Appalachian Trail.  One that starts down south and finishes at the bubble in boiling springs.  I could include anyone that wanted to join me for the whole thing, or anyone that wanted to run sections.  Then we could have a big party at my house for my 33rd birthday.   But that thought was fleeting.  I thought for sure it couldn't happen, lots of time devoted to training, school, kids, work etc.  And what are the odds that my birthday is on a saturday? Apparently pretty good.  It is.   And I thought why your 33rd birthday?  Well, that's the age Jesus died when he handed over his ministry to us.  So there.  It was pretty much undeniable at that point what I need to do.

     Up until a few hours ago, the 50 miler seemed easy peasy to me.  I was ready to go tomorrow.  In my mind at least.I've always set somewhat attainable goals for myself, just so I could complete them.  I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that with enough time training, I could handle a 50.   But then I got word from Haiti that one of the children I visited last week had died.  It was then I knew that I needed to venture beyond the feasible.  We have 77 kids to care for.  What better way to celebrate their lives then run a mile for each one of them?   I know, Right?  (*updated August 1st, due to an injury holding up training it will actually remain 50 miles or 77K) But I can't do it myself.  And that's why I need you all.  At this point the details are vague.  Other than that it will finish on my birthday September 19 2015.  I will need so much help, something I rarely ask for.  Mainly the days of the run.  I need a crew.  I'll need runners.  As far as raising money,  I'd like to raise enough money so all the kids have some sort of emergency fund.  I'd like to raise in the very least $5000 dollars.  I'll need more encouragement that I ever have.  But really, this isn't about me.  But those kids stretch themselves every single day to survive.  I want to stretch myself too.

      There you have it.  I've said it outloud.  No going back now.  If you already have some way in mind in which you'd like to help, please don't hesitate to let me know.  If you know of anyone that's run an ultra marathon before, at least 75 miles, please send them my way.

      A little about what the money is going to, it's a for a Medical Emergency Fund.  A fund that the staff of FGO can draw on in the event one of the kids breaks an arm, needs stitches, gets malaria or even needs glasses.  Needed glasses is an emergency in Haiti.  If you can't see, you can't learn.  If you can't learn, you can't get a job.  If you can't get a job, the outlook is bleak.  I'll spare you the ugly details.   Even when a child gets diarrhea,  it can lead to death.   You can make a contribution at  this go fund me account. Thank you so much for your support! 

If you read any other blog here, read this one to.

It's been awhile since I've re read all the blog posts on here.  I don't plan too.  I'll just trust that you read this one as well as any others.  Many of those I may not agree with my own words, but they were always in my mind to help wrestle with whatever topic I was writing about. 

Here's the one constant.  I will always love my Father.  My God.  My Jesus. He has been the only constant throughout my entire life.  though sometimes i could not feel His presence.

I've also learned that no matter what anyone told me, I always had to find the Truth on my own.  In fact, sometimes, those that tried to bring me back to Christ only pushed me further.  They were only trying to be right.   There are those that let me run, wander and eventually be lost that chose to be rich.  And rich they were.  Because here we are now.  In this moment.  I am at the end of myself. A new creation sprouts forth. 

So I'm asking, would you rather be rich?  Or right?  Me,  I'd rather be rich.  I don't want anyone to miss out on the richness of the Love of God.  That won't ever happen if I have to be right. 

there i was wandering in the desert
stuck in a cataclysm of pain, fear, regret
chasing a mirage of water and light
finding broken hearts and bloody knuckles
seeking, searching, hoping i was right
praying from the depths i was wrong
despite the image of a lie, i must press on
i will prevail
though my destination is foreign, my journey is set
there remains a truth in my heart that i can't deny
15 years in the wilderness, climbing clouds to the unknown
then my hand hit a rock, the healer, the throne