Get Lost you Little Bugger

Papa Bear said once, "Sometimes you have to get lost to find what you are looking for."

I love papa bear.  Ok...I don't know him well enough to say that.  But there was some good lessons on those books.

Sometimes you have to get lost to find what you are looking for.  This is so true.  Because if what you are looking for is in familiar territory, you'd be aware of it's presence.  You'd have been there or had it before.  You wouldn't be lost, you'd have just forgot where you'd put said thing.

But what if you don't know what you are looking for?  What if your familiar territory is becoming less than familiar?

When I'm out in the woods on my mountain bike looking for new trails, I can't stay on the old ones.  The old ones get boring.  Well, they shouldn't get boring.  I can always get better.  But I want to uncover new areas.  I can't do this without getting lost.  But I won't actually be lost.  I can always follow the trail I came in on.

It reminds me of the "trust the river" tattoo.   You find yourself being pulled and pulled away from the comfort of your branch on the side of the river.  Afraid to be sucked into that raging mess.  But the pull becomes too great and you let go into the unknown.  It is then you realized the unknown is where you need to be.  In the river story, the river is God.  And God said, if you'd stay on that branch, you'll never get to see just how big I really am.  I am the river.

Get lost.  Don't always stick to the known.  Discover the world.  Have an adventure.  Don't always have the need to be in control.  Because you never really do anyway.

Unlocking Facebook Psychology

I see it happen quite a bit.  Two people on opposing sides on Facebook begin to converse and very quickly it turns into a battle of saving face for one or both.  Sometimes it's brought on by a troll.  Sometimes it's someone who realizes they engaged in a losing battle and they resort to name calling and accusations.  Often times, one of the commenter's didn't say anything inflammatory to the other, but just because they stayed engaged so long makes them feel ridiculous for even being in the conversation, if that's what you want to call it.  I'm waiting for someone to really put together some research on the correlations of ones current psychological struggles and how they manifest through facebook dialogue.  

One tip, that I've learned the hard way, is to not engage the person writing back to you.  Think about all the people reading it.  You aren't going to change the mind of the Internet cowboy on the other side of the computer screen.  But you may inspire a change of thinking in those that are reading how you respond and the points you bring up.  It's very hard to do.  That's why I try not to engage anymore.  This is a form of engaging, but I'm trying to avoid immediate banter.  If someone does have a question about something I said, ask.  But don't assume you know me.  Don't assume you know how I feel about everything.

What happens is when someone says something you disagree with and you don't know that person, that person becomes everything you disagree with.  You basically make them your enemy.  They become your worse adversary.  Everything that frustrates you, you project on this person.  When in reality it might just be a slight difference of opinion and if you are able to get past this one little thing, you'd realize that on a lot of things you see eye to eye.  And you may even get to hear their story on the point you disagree on and learn why they feel the way they do.

For instance, yesterday when I said I didn't say the pledge of allegiance. I also said that America is not one nation under god, we are not indivisible, we do not have liberty and justice for all.  Someone took that as me being a communist and went on a rant about the next generation and that they'll never understand how much this country has overcome and proceeded to call them names and refused to engage in a conversation about it.  Well, first, who are the parents of this next generation?   Talk to them.  Second, I have to admit, to be able to speak your piece and walk away is great.  To not engage back after you've said it.  It takes great restraint.  But third, you lost out on potentially valuable conversation with someone.  They didn't ask me what I meant by my thoughts on the pledge.  Me not saying the pledge has nothing to do with how I feel about the military (past or present), our country or the future of our country.  I want something better than the pledge that those that grow up in the 2000's will understand better.  So that  they realize that we all didn't just show up here.  There was some really harsh things that happened and are still happening.  And they need to understand that.

Calling someone names and expecting them to change is going to work as well as shoving a cork up your ass and expecting to poop out your pisshole.  I realize I may have just lost someone there, but c'mon.  That was a pretty clever analogy on the spot.  The fact that it was on the fly...concerns even me a bit.

This is getting a little long.  But I'll leave with this. Don't take Facebook so personal.  Understand that every person behind their profile pic has a story.  They have years of input that's gotten them to where they are.  If we'd take some time and listen to their story we might understand a bit of why they feel that way.  And sometimes, had we been in their shoes we'd feel the same way.

Meme Theme

I'm going to stick with the meme thing.  I searched for popular christian memes and I'll be honest, some of them were pretty funny.  Most were poking fun at church culture by christians.  But who wants to read about those?

One had that thumbs up winking Jesus saying, "Want to keep Christ in Christmas?  Why not try keeping Christ in Christian instead?"  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

But there was another with the Joker saying, "Kids curse like sailors in school and nobody bats an eye.  Kids say a prayer in school and everyone loses their minds!"

Two things Christians fight for.  Christmas and prayer in schools.  Prayer in schools always intrigued me.  You'll hear christians up in arms about prayer being removed from school and I'm here like, "wait, how can they do that? How small is your God?"

You do realize you can pray anytime, anywhere, sitting down, standing up, eyes open or eyes closed.  And the best part?  No one has to know you are doing it.  It's the ultimate act of defiance.  It's the one thing that no one can take away from you.  Ever.  And you can get away with praying with no risk.  School is for education.  Sunday School is for praying. Oh but wait.  I have to say the pledge of allegiance.  No you don't.  To this day I refuse to say the pledge.  I do not pledge my allegiance to the flag.  We are not one nation under God.  We are not indivisible.  We do not have liberty and/or justice for all.  Stop fooling yourself.

I remember a song from my youth, I believe it was Audio Adrenaline. You can't take God away from me.  You can take my life, my land, my liberty.  You can lock me up, I'll still be free.  It seems so many christians care so much more about their life, their land, their liberty, and locking people up.

Yes, I'm hard on the church and christianity.  I'm pretty sure God can handle my questioning and critiques.  It's not personal towards any one person or church.  It's based on my observations of american church culture.

Hurt by the Church. Again. And Again.....

If being hurt by the church causes you to lose faith in God, your faith was never in God.  It was in people.

I saw a meme with these words on it yesterday.  For starters, the original poster has a great heart and didn't mean any harm by it at all.  The truth is, lots of people leave the church and God for this very matter.  And it's sad.  And this meme does nothing but continue to pile the hurt on to the one that left.  It says that YOU are the problem.  That YOU didn't have enough faith in God.  That YOU put faith in people and not God.

So when YOU get sexually harassed by one of the staff members and are told to keep hush hush about it because it will destroy the church, YOU need to have more faith in God.  When the rest of the church staff hides it for fear of losing their jobs too, YOU need to have more faith in God.  This is not a localized story in one church somewhere.  These situations or something similar happen all the time.

Meme's like this one basically give the green light for churches to be assholes.  There is no accountability for the people in the church's behavior, only saying that the one that was hurt needs to have more faith in God.  It's total.  Utter.  Bullshit.  Or as Paul would say, skabula.

The meme, if recreated by me, would say....If being hurt by the church causes you to lose faith in God, that church was full of jerks and a piss poor representation of the Gospel.  You don't need church to know God.  I'm sorry that you were hurt by people who can't see past themselves.  Do you want to meet up for coffee or tea sometime?

So the next time you feel like sharing some sick twisted christian meme, ask yourself who your are intending to speak to.  Ask if it will help or hurt.  What is your intent?  To continue to oppress or set free?

God doesn't have a Gender and why you shouldn't wake up early to work out

No, really.  God doesn't have a gender.  God is not a he.  Or a she.  God may be fatherly to you, but stop calling God father or mother or he or she.  If anyone could call God father, it would be Jesus.  But God is God.  If God exists, God is a supreme being.  Not something with a penis or vagina.

And about that penis or vagina.  Do you think that's what God see's when looking at you?  Like when two dudes fall in love and raise a child or children, whether adopted or from a surrogate.  Do you think God looks at his creation and says..."you guys are doing in wrong.  I see two penis's. This loving relationship was not my plan for you, it's gonna have to stop."  Do you really think that?  I don't.  Not anymore.  Especially when so many hetero couples have awful relationships and "stay together for the kids".  I happen to think that is so much more damaging.  Just get a divorce.  Show your kids how special they are by treating each other civil and as friends.  Then they will have two sets of parents!  Especially parents that love each other!  Not fighting and nagging ones.   Especially if you've no hope of resolve.

And about getting up early to work out.  I hear people say this all the time.  I'm going to get up early and start working out!  I was one that tried that.  It lasted about negative 2 days.  For one thing, if you don't like getting up early you are going to hate working out.  Working out is causing you to give up something you love, like an extra hour of sleep.  Secondly, if you don't like working out, you will grow to resent waking up early.  So work out at some point that already fits your schedule.  Carve out another time of day that works for you.

2 and a half months ago I decided to get up at 5:30 every day and write.  I haven't missed a day since.  Even when traveling and in Haiti.  Why?  Because I like writing.  I even like getting up early.  It works for me.  But if I had to get up and work out....not a chance.

Would it be possible to grow into the habit?  Sure.  But it's probably very rare, unless you are very sick of where you are physically and need to change.  I can think of easier things then getting up early to start that process though.  Like not eating so much food.

The biggest thing is to find a habit that works for you.  Find a change you can work with the get the mo going.

Vomit's R Us

A bug has hit our home.  My son threw up twice last night.  First time it was a hot dog and peppers.  Then it was the rest of the pepper.  This morning it was about two ounces of orange looking liquid. Perhaps pepper juice.   He just ate about 30 cheerios and had some water 10 minutes ago.  We'll see what happens.

It's not fun watching your child  with the stomach bug.  There's not much you can do other than count down 24 hours from the onset.  We've got about 8 more hours.  But I'm not telling  myself it's a bug.  We don't have proof.  Therefore there is no reason to suspect anyone in the house will catch it.  Typically though, if one of our children has a bug for sure, I will fast.  If no food goes in, no food can come out.  And you are only just uncomfortable for a day or two.

This is my life today.  Keeping the kids separated and cleaning everything.  No need to set the house on fire.  Yet.

On the flip, little man is extra cuddly today.

Could be worse.  He could have crawled into a gorilla exhibit.

The Thunder Rolls and Gorillas are more important

Last night, the Oklahoma City Thunder rolled right over onto their bellies and let the Golden State Warriors finish their 3 game to 1 comeback in the western conference finals.  I was rooting for the thunder, there's something about the warriors that I don't like.   I don't like Steph Curry or Draymond Green.  I don't like Curry simply because he can't keep his mouthguard in his mouth and he smiles to much.  I know, a poor reason.  I just have this gut feeling that that says root for someone else.  And Green is just a dirty player.   I'm a Lebron fan, so I'm pulling for cavs to win it all.  But the warriors know how to win basketball games.

And then there is the Harambe gorilla that got shot a few days ago at a cincinnati zoo.  A three year old noticed his mothers eyes weren't looking for about half a second and took that moment to sprint into the gorilla enclosure.  That's what three year olds do, and they really are that fast.  If you don't believe me, you don't have kids.  It could happen to anyone.   Danger is only ever seconds away, it doesn't matter where you are.  Anyway, zoo officials made the call to shoot Harambe.  Tranq darts would only piss it off and could have caused it to lash out and hurt the boy.  Apparently the gorilla was already seemingly harming the boy.  But it also seemed to be treated the boy as it's own.

I feel bad for the gorilla, the boy and the family.  But I think shooting the gorilla was the right call, though very sad and unfortunate.

I'm going to take this time to remind everyone that hundreds of children a year are shot.  Accidentely.  Avoidable.  Totally unnecessarily.  They are shot by other children, mostly toddlers who find loaded guns.  That's not counting all the ones that shoot themselves or other adults.  Yet I've seen probably 2500% more talk about the gorilla being shot than any of these children.  WAKE THE FUCK UP AMERICA.  You 'd rather stay asleep on this fact rather than speak up and risk more regulations and gun control.  I'm not advocating getting rid of your right to own a gun.  I am advocating to make it more and more difficult for idiots to own them.  And if you are a responsible gun owner, you better do the same.  Because if you don't speak up and keeping guns out of idiots hands, you will end up losing  yours in the process.  So what if you have to do some extra paperwork and background checks.  You know who else has more paperwork to do now?  Police and morgues.  Filling out forms for all these dead toddlers who found a loaded gun.

Oh.  I'm a gun owner and in the market for another one right now.  Just in case you were wondering.