First off, my title will suck for this one. Second. I'm going to nail two things.
A few weeks ago my son got spiderman crocs. They are hideous. They are huge. They are clunky. They are just not cool shoes at all. So I would appreciate everyone saying to this kid wearing these crocs that they are cool shoes. If you do, I will buy a pair in your size and expect you to wear them. They are anything but cool shoes. Stop lying to him. He likes them, that's all that matters. Just like me, I will wear whatever I want on my feet. You don't need to comment. Thanks.
My son also got a haircut a few days ago. I was told that when he was at church one of his teachers was mortified that his curls were gone. Albeit, she wasn't really mortified she just really liked his curls. Hey, he doesn't style his hair for you. So keep your opinions to yourself. How about just noticing his haircut?
In both of these, they happen all the time. It's implied that our opinion matters of what someone else does or doesn't do. If they ask for it, share it. If you want to inquire or comment, do that. Ask when they got said haircut or shoes. Ask if they like it. Ask what they like or don't like about their new style. Take some time and learn about the other person. It doesn't have to be about you. We need to stop acting like what other people do has a direct effect on us. Sure, sometimes it does. But when it comes to someone else style, it really doesn't.
Which brings me to my next point.
Christians, why does it still matter to you if gay is a sin? Are you still going to need some time to process it all? Does two dudes marrying each other really effect your life in any way or not? While you are making everything about how you feel about it, over 100 people were gunned down in a night club. It was an act of hate. It was an act of terror. This "gay" night club was the intended target for being just that, a gay night club.
Well Christian, that cares so much if it's a sin or not. I was the gay hater. I used to assume and vocalize that they are an abomination and will burn in hell. That was me. But then I started praying for the opportunity to evangelize to that community and they would have open hearts to hear the message of the gospel. Guess what? Through that, my eyes were opened. I was the one that heard the gospel. I'm sorry about who I was and how I acted. Now I have several lesbian, gay and transgender friends and I love them dearly. And many of them look more like Christ then some my christian friends.
Even if you are a christian and you think it's sinful. Until I hear you posting on Facebook how much you sin, because you do, every day. Until I hear about you calling out all the sin inside your church. Until I hear you talking about the sins of your friends and family, publicly. Until you publicly share all your own sin, Shut up. Nobody wants your hurtful hypocrite opinion. Sorry I'm so hard on your christian people. But I was one. Still am, kinda. I just experience Jesus a little different now. When you get to meet Jesus, do you think he'll commend you for taking a stand on sinful behavior? Or do you think he'll be pissed that you didn't love people? He already took care of that sin thing, so you trying to do the same is like a slap and spit in the face to Jesus.
What would Jesus do? He would love and embrace those that are hurting. He wouldn't see sin, he beat it already didn't he? DIDN'T HE? So when people are hurting and broken, all they need to feel is love. Jesus died and rose to defeat sin so you wouldn't have to worry about it. Love Him, Love people. That is all.
100 families need to feel loved right now. Families all across the country and world need to feel loved right now. Loved ones are lost day in and day out. It's times like these that I could do more for those effected. But I guess that's kinda what I'm doing.
I'm going to take the tweet popularized by texas governor. He got backlash by it, as he should. I don't know this governor, but when I read the quote I imagined he was speaking to the shooter. Learning about the governor and his track record this wasn't the case. Whether he intended it to be evil or not, I'll take it and make it good. And I'm going to speak to the shooter, the hateful christians, the hateful anyones..."Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." When you hate, when you are evil, and when you claim all these things in Gods name when in fact you are not god, you will reap what you sow.
Grace and peace to all those families who have lost loved ones. My heart mourns with you.
Monday, June 13, 2016
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Factory Reset
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to have a factory reset? I do. All the time. I wonder what life would be like had I been born to other parents, or in another part of the world. Think about it. Even if you were your born into your neighbors family. Think about how much different your life would be. Pretty crazy huh?
So don't think for a minute that as a parent you don't have much of influence on your children. Most of us know we do, but assume that among all of their friends and other influences that we won't affect them as much as everyone else. Wrong.
Parenting is no joke. You are shaping young minds for the future. I know I could be doing better. But I'm also working very hard to get my shit together. Are you?
So many people need therapy. So many people need therapy and they have no idea the need therapy. I'd probably have killed myself a long time ago without therapy. It really works. Have you ever wondered why you do some of the things you do? It's most likely not just because you are fucked up. It's most likely because it's a conditioned behavior from how you were raised...or not raised for that matter. And guess what? You can recondition that shit. Guess what? If you don't, it will infect everyone around you. Including your relationships, your spouse and your children.
When I unpack my childhood with my one of my therapists (yes, i have had a few), I find it easier to find empathy for parents. Because, at one point, they were children too. And had parents. Parents, that probably unknowingly caused a large amount of phycological trauma in their lives too. And if you don't know how bad it was and began a family of your own, it's so hard to change.
But even if you had a great childhood. You still develop a way of living and expectation of family. And sometimes even that still clashes with someone who wasn't raised the same way.
That's all for these thoughts. I'm probably not the best guy to try to elaborate on how we were raised effects us. It does. And it sticks around for awhile. So when you say, I'm this. Or I'm that. And even in the things you think you believe in deeply, like, christianity for example. Do you? Or was it part of what you were subjected to as a child and you never really embraced who you are and what you actually believe. Or that there may be something totally different. You can make you.
Next time you are feeling down and you think you can't change, you can. You just have to want to.
So don't think for a minute that as a parent you don't have much of influence on your children. Most of us know we do, but assume that among all of their friends and other influences that we won't affect them as much as everyone else. Wrong.
Parenting is no joke. You are shaping young minds for the future. I know I could be doing better. But I'm also working very hard to get my shit together. Are you?
So many people need therapy. So many people need therapy and they have no idea the need therapy. I'd probably have killed myself a long time ago without therapy. It really works. Have you ever wondered why you do some of the things you do? It's most likely not just because you are fucked up. It's most likely because it's a conditioned behavior from how you were raised...or not raised for that matter. And guess what? You can recondition that shit. Guess what? If you don't, it will infect everyone around you. Including your relationships, your spouse and your children.
When I unpack my childhood with my one of my therapists (yes, i have had a few), I find it easier to find empathy for parents. Because, at one point, they were children too. And had parents. Parents, that probably unknowingly caused a large amount of phycological trauma in their lives too. And if you don't know how bad it was and began a family of your own, it's so hard to change.
But even if you had a great childhood. You still develop a way of living and expectation of family. And sometimes even that still clashes with someone who wasn't raised the same way.
That's all for these thoughts. I'm probably not the best guy to try to elaborate on how we were raised effects us. It does. And it sticks around for awhile. So when you say, I'm this. Or I'm that. And even in the things you think you believe in deeply, like, christianity for example. Do you? Or was it part of what you were subjected to as a child and you never really embraced who you are and what you actually believe. Or that there may be something totally different. You can make you.
Next time you are feeling down and you think you can't change, you can. You just have to want to.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
100.
Oh. This sucks. I thought today was the 100th blog post on my website. It's not. It's actually going to be 145. Only 100 on the year. So I got up extra early today 4:15 for nothing. I was going to write a long story about how I told off an old man yesterday. But since it's not my 100th blog, I'll tell it anyway.
But first. A few updates. I love love love the ketogenic way of eating. Perhaps I'll start a blog about that. It's not a diet. I think the most problem most people fail at diets is because that's what they call them. Diets. Diet seems to mean, a short term eating change until I've lost an amount of weight that I'm happy with. And then I'll start incorporating my old favorite foods back in once I've established healthy habits. How's that working out for you?
Those that have decided to find a totally new way of eating are the ones that see continues results. This is why it's important to find one that's important to you. So far, following a ketogenic way of eating I have lost just about over twenty pounds, I feel better, I have more energy (now that I upped my fat intake), I sleep better, I have to buy new clothes, I'm down to a brand new belt hole, I don't crave sugars or bread or pasta, and so many other benefits. I eat a high fat, moderate protein and low carb diet. I am a fat burner. All the dangers regarding this diet are total bullshit. Don't listen to the haters. Do your own research. It makes sense. The Paleo Mom article she wrote was based on studies of children being treated for epilepsy that were forced into a ketogenic state by being fed fake protein shakes and purposely being starved. Hardly credible for determining the credibility of a true ketogenic diet. For more information about the Keto way of eating, I recommend the book "Keto Clarity" by Jimmy Moore. Or any of his podcasts. Oh, I was serious about losing all the cravings for sugar. Gone. Not even on the radar. My depression and other mental health issues still bug me. But the mental clarity is definitely getting better. And the ability to go extended hours without getting hungry because you are eating your own ketones is very cool.
On March 15 2016 I started getting up at 5:30 every day to write. I haven't missed a day yet. I love that people read this. But I don't do it for you. Well, some days I do. But most days it's still for me to get up and get things off my chest. I do want to, at some point, create a blog that's purposeful and has a theme. The title of the blog is "Stories of Secrets". It was changed to that from "Thot's o' Life" after someone told me that "thot" has a different meaning. So I changed it.
Stories of Secrets was/is intended to be just that. Stories of Secrets. SOS. An international code of distress. Save our souls. I want to take input from all of you. What do you want to read? What do you want me to share a view on that you can't. I get emails from people saying thanks for talking about things. Because they can't. If they did, their friends, family or co-workers would be either upset or disappointed in the way they think. So they are glad to hear that they are not alone in their thoughts. And so am I. I would love to post guest articles. Written anonymously if you so choose about something you need to get off your chest. If you can't do it publicly, it may help to get it out in some fashion. You are welcome to do that here and I can assure you, you're identity will remain concealed. Let me know if you are interested. I'd love to give you a platform.
I would eventually love to do a podcast. Podcast's have been so influential to me over the past few years. Some of my favorites in no particular order, You Made it Weird with Pete Holmes, The Bad Christian Podcast, Don't Feed the Trolls, This American Life, Ted Radio Hour, Keto Talk with Jimmy Moore and the Doc, Intelligence Squared US Debates, The RobCast, Break it Down with Matt Carter, The Liturgists, Ask Science Mike, The Moonshine Jesus show, That God Show, and a few others. Wow. I listen to a lot of podcasts. But I also have a good amount of time during the day to do so.
I have the equipment to do a podcast. Maybe someday. This is long. I didn't even get to the old man story. I'll save it.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Hold the Music
Or don't. I love music. So much so that last summer I redesigned my garage for the sole purpose of recording music. Not for anyone else to listen to, but for my own personal fun and enjoyment. In my mid to late teens I was in a Punk Rock band with some friends and it was some of the best times of my life. I would go back to that time. And take some of my life today with me of course. But if anyone asked me if I wanted to go play in a punk rock band again, locally, you bet. In a heartbeat.
On the flip, I don't know anything about music theory or how notes work and all the names. I just mess around with the notes and find something I like. Then I remember it and play it. Coincidently, this is how I do a lot of things actually.
But I do know music incites emotion. Imagine any movie without music. It would not be nearly as dramatic. But I would enjoy watching it for the experience. Have you ever imagined a soundtrack in your head to your own life? You could probably play a whole movie using nothing but music and it would great. No dialogue needed and I bet you'd be just as moved, if not more. You can project what story and language you want on the characters.
Music is used EVERYWHERE that a desired mental state is more beneficial to both the listener and producer of the music.
This is also why I hate music. No, not music. How it is used. To manipulate. To lead people to a certain emotion or feeling. There are times when I don't want a produced feeling. I want the real thing. Sometimes I'll break down and cry during a song simple because the music moves me. Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World did that to me yesterday. The bridge at the end. Crimson and clover, over and over. I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go...Come on Davey, play me something that I know. I want to feel like part of this was mine.
Wait. (this is an in the moment breakthrough in my own head. This isn't even what the song was about).
Did he just say, I want to feel like part of this was mine? This is exactly how I feel about the emotions I feel when music is playing. Are they real? Are they mine? Or were they produced? There is brain science to this.
So STOP playing music in church. JUST STOP. I used to do it. My friends still do it. Worship music in the church is huge. A huge money making industry too. But all it is designed for is to take you to a place in your mind. To set the tone. To manipulate. This is what music does. And don't get me wrong, it's not always bad. In fact, it's quite good. But you know what I don't want? A manufactured Jesus experience. I want the real deal. I want to feel real God emotion. Not an emotion inspired by vibrations from a string.
You could say maybe God uses the music. I don't want no stinking maybes when it comes to God. People base their whole life around Jesus. The way they live, the rules they keep. They even try to influence others based on these beliefs. What if you're wrong? I don't want no maybe it's God.
I believe God is big enough to reach people where they are. In the moment. No influences needed. Is God not?
If God indeed does move through people, which I do believe that happens, why are some people assholes for God? People that hurt in the name of Christianity. To those people that were hurt by people, wouldn't God show up in their life? No music, no fluff, no manufactured emotion. Just that person in their hurts and pains and God. IS God big enough to do that?
I'm still waiting for that God. Or maybe we are God. Maybe music is God.
Maybe. it's always fuckin maybe.
On the flip, I don't know anything about music theory or how notes work and all the names. I just mess around with the notes and find something I like. Then I remember it and play it. Coincidently, this is how I do a lot of things actually.
But I do know music incites emotion. Imagine any movie without music. It would not be nearly as dramatic. But I would enjoy watching it for the experience. Have you ever imagined a soundtrack in your head to your own life? You could probably play a whole movie using nothing but music and it would great. No dialogue needed and I bet you'd be just as moved, if not more. You can project what story and language you want on the characters.
Music is used EVERYWHERE that a desired mental state is more beneficial to both the listener and producer of the music.
This is also why I hate music. No, not music. How it is used. To manipulate. To lead people to a certain emotion or feeling. There are times when I don't want a produced feeling. I want the real thing. Sometimes I'll break down and cry during a song simple because the music moves me. Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World did that to me yesterday. The bridge at the end. Crimson and clover, over and over. I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go...Come on Davey, play me something that I know. I want to feel like part of this was mine.
Wait. (this is an in the moment breakthrough in my own head. This isn't even what the song was about).
Did he just say, I want to feel like part of this was mine? This is exactly how I feel about the emotions I feel when music is playing. Are they real? Are they mine? Or were they produced? There is brain science to this.
So STOP playing music in church. JUST STOP. I used to do it. My friends still do it. Worship music in the church is huge. A huge money making industry too. But all it is designed for is to take you to a place in your mind. To set the tone. To manipulate. This is what music does. And don't get me wrong, it's not always bad. In fact, it's quite good. But you know what I don't want? A manufactured Jesus experience. I want the real deal. I want to feel real God emotion. Not an emotion inspired by vibrations from a string.
You could say maybe God uses the music. I don't want no stinking maybes when it comes to God. People base their whole life around Jesus. The way they live, the rules they keep. They even try to influence others based on these beliefs. What if you're wrong? I don't want no maybe it's God.
I believe God is big enough to reach people where they are. In the moment. No influences needed. Is God not?
If God indeed does move through people, which I do believe that happens, why are some people assholes for God? People that hurt in the name of Christianity. To those people that were hurt by people, wouldn't God show up in their life? No music, no fluff, no manufactured emotion. Just that person in their hurts and pains and God. IS God big enough to do that?
I'm still waiting for that God. Or maybe we are God. Maybe music is God.
Maybe. it's always fuckin maybe.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Ding Dong Dickheads
Last night it was around 10:45pm. I was watching the Cavaliers obliterate and dismember the Warriors in Game 3 of the finals. It was awesome. It very well may be their only win of the series. The Warriors looked awful.
All of the sudden I hear an abrupt knocking on my door and see the motion light come on and small gray hooded blur take off of from our front porch. It took a moment to register what had happened. I decided to pursue. I arose from the couch and chased him half a block and was gaining. But it would take a while. Then I heard a noise behind me and found his two chums behind me. Thank goodness, because I was determined and I was unfamiliar with terrain going any further. Stubborn me would have continued. They immediately apologized profusely and looked scared. I didn't have my speech planned out. So I said something stupid like "Don't knock on doors and run away" in my stern pretend to be mad but I'm not really mad voice. It is quite intimidating. They both denied it was them and it was their friend who was running. Called me sir..etc. I told them to tell their friend running that didn't have any balls, that I would have caught him and that I run faster than all of them. I also told them I might call the police. As I started to walk away, my lack of preparation really showed up.
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!' I boldly stated as I walked back to the house.
Before I got the door I realized what i had done. I put a big bullseye on our house. Or they really did get scared and will honor my request. But in a moment I became Old Man Marley.
This is on the heels of two other local boys chatting me up last weekend while my son and I were on a bike ride to the creek asking about a bike the one was riding. It was a piece of junk BMX bike. He asked what I'd done if I saw a bike leaning against a tree in a public place for a few weeks. I told him it doesn't matter what I would do, because he's already riding the bike. Am I right? He nodded. He said his parents are making him put it back but he doesn't want to. I thought about it and told him to write a note and put it in a plastic bag and staple it to the tree. Let it say something like...To bike owner, I have your bike. It was outside for awhile and I didn't want anyone to steal it. So I took after it and made sure it was safe. If you want it back, call me....
He didn't get it. He told me he wouldn't know who to give the note too because he didn't know who's bike it was. After trying to explain he didn't have to know, he just has to leave the note where he found the bike. He didn't get it. So I said the bike may be stolen and he should put it back.
It was then I remembered the old bmx bike that I was given to fix up with a kid I was being a mentor to several years ago. That project never transpired, so I offered the bike to this kid. I tried to tighten up the brakes and pumped up the tires. And off they went a few hours later. And a few hours after that I get a knock at the door. It's his dad, wanting to make sure they didn't steal another bike. I assured him I had given the bike to them and saw a wave of relief on the face on one of the boys sitting inside the truck. I hope the dad didn't immediately accuse him and yell right off the bat. They are only children, a time ripe for teaching and not yelling or accusing.
So I must find the ding dong dickheads and teach. I don't want them to be afraid of me, or treat my house as a target. I want to let them know that I'm not mad and understand the temptation to have a little excitement. Well, they got their excitement last night. But I also want to let them know that the reason it's not a good idea is that we have two young children and a wife who just started a new job. Sleep is important. Respect of others property and space is something I always valued. It's not going to be hard to find the 3, 12-14 year old boys. They ran in the direction of their house. And there is only about 5 to choose from. Maybe I'll go knock on doors tonight around 11 and look for them.
I'd love to share some tips, like don't run in the direction of your house. Run the other way. And don't walk under motion sensor lights. And that this is not the time of history to knock on doors and run. You never know who is going to get up and come after you.
Thanks for reading my story. It's all true.
All of the sudden I hear an abrupt knocking on my door and see the motion light come on and small gray hooded blur take off of from our front porch. It took a moment to register what had happened. I decided to pursue. I arose from the couch and chased him half a block and was gaining. But it would take a while. Then I heard a noise behind me and found his two chums behind me. Thank goodness, because I was determined and I was unfamiliar with terrain going any further. Stubborn me would have continued. They immediately apologized profusely and looked scared. I didn't have my speech planned out. So I said something stupid like "Don't knock on doors and run away" in my stern pretend to be mad but I'm not really mad voice. It is quite intimidating. They both denied it was them and it was their friend who was running. Called me sir..etc. I told them to tell their friend running that didn't have any balls, that I would have caught him and that I run faster than all of them. I also told them I might call the police. As I started to walk away, my lack of preparation really showed up.
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!' I boldly stated as I walked back to the house.
Before I got the door I realized what i had done. I put a big bullseye on our house. Or they really did get scared and will honor my request. But in a moment I became Old Man Marley.
This is on the heels of two other local boys chatting me up last weekend while my son and I were on a bike ride to the creek asking about a bike the one was riding. It was a piece of junk BMX bike. He asked what I'd done if I saw a bike leaning against a tree in a public place for a few weeks. I told him it doesn't matter what I would do, because he's already riding the bike. Am I right? He nodded. He said his parents are making him put it back but he doesn't want to. I thought about it and told him to write a note and put it in a plastic bag and staple it to the tree. Let it say something like...To bike owner, I have your bike. It was outside for awhile and I didn't want anyone to steal it. So I took after it and made sure it was safe. If you want it back, call me....
He didn't get it. He told me he wouldn't know who to give the note too because he didn't know who's bike it was. After trying to explain he didn't have to know, he just has to leave the note where he found the bike. He didn't get it. So I said the bike may be stolen and he should put it back.
It was then I remembered the old bmx bike that I was given to fix up with a kid I was being a mentor to several years ago. That project never transpired, so I offered the bike to this kid. I tried to tighten up the brakes and pumped up the tires. And off they went a few hours later. And a few hours after that I get a knock at the door. It's his dad, wanting to make sure they didn't steal another bike. I assured him I had given the bike to them and saw a wave of relief on the face on one of the boys sitting inside the truck. I hope the dad didn't immediately accuse him and yell right off the bat. They are only children, a time ripe for teaching and not yelling or accusing.
So I must find the ding dong dickheads and teach. I don't want them to be afraid of me, or treat my house as a target. I want to let them know that I'm not mad and understand the temptation to have a little excitement. Well, they got their excitement last night. But I also want to let them know that the reason it's not a good idea is that we have two young children and a wife who just started a new job. Sleep is important. Respect of others property and space is something I always valued. It's not going to be hard to find the 3, 12-14 year old boys. They ran in the direction of their house. And there is only about 5 to choose from. Maybe I'll go knock on doors tonight around 11 and look for them.
I'd love to share some tips, like don't run in the direction of your house. Run the other way. And don't walk under motion sensor lights. And that this is not the time of history to knock on doors and run. You never know who is going to get up and come after you.
Thanks for reading my story. It's all true.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
F
I write about those questions no one wants to talk about often. Like questioning the church and christianity. I make generalizations sometimes too. I'm often critical of churches too. And really, I may be speaking about a small minority of churches. Why?
Because I get emails every day of people thanking me for talking about the stuff they want addressed and the questions they have but are afraid to talk about it or ask it.
Wait? Afraid to share your opinion about something? Afraid to question something? That's oppression. It's hard when you have something that pains and haunts you and you can't talk about it. I can't imagine the ache to get out what you have hiding inside. Well, I can actually. And it's not pleasant. Why do you think I write every day? To get this stuff out of my head.
Sadly, there are some things I can't get out of my head. They come and go as they please. And my response is simple. Hide. Try to become invisible. Isolate. This is my depression.
I used to respond to people or at least wonder why people that suffer from depression can't just laugh. Why they can't just fight it. I know now.
My way of fighting? Just fall asleep. Disappear for a spell. And hopefully it will be better in the morning. And it often is. It's a soft reset.
Why write this? I don't know. Maybe just to let others know that struggle with depressive thoughts, feelings or maybe you deal with depression daily, you are not alone. But it's hard to even care about that when it has you. But if you've made it this far, you are stronger than you think. So, chin up. We got this.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Some Gay, and not so Gay Thoughts.
I continue to read lots of articles and thoughts in mainstream Christianity about the homosexuality and transgender communities. I just wanted to share a little bit. This was actually part of another writing that I did this morning, but I decided to share my thoughts here as well. I appreciate those people that have inherited this gay is an abomination mentality and are trying to right the ship and flush that toxic thinking that they got from their parents or church. I want to extend a little grace, because it's hard to flush old ways of thinking out. Keep flushing.
When did all relationships come down to sex? Do you not have very close intimate male friendships that aren't physical? And when did sex only become about reproduction? Did you only ever have sex with your wife twice? Because if it was only about reproduction, you'd stop when you were done having kids. Right?
As far as the disorder...Yes. Some things are disorders and they are also illegal. Like pedophilia. In todays world, a young child can't consent and it can be very damaging psychologically. So the perp goes to jail. And I can't stand those that wish death and hell on the perp either. Shame on them. Where is the hope for recovery and change so it doesn't happen again? And a lot of those threats come from....you guessed it, Christians. They spend more time wishing harm on the perp than they care about the repair, recovery and healing of the one who was molested. In fact...the victim is rarely mentioned at all. More care needs to be given to the victim to help them, instead we see people called for the head of the perp. As if that's going to bring healing to the one who was abused. However, pedophilia was quite common in history. It just wasn't pedophilia. Daughters were being given over to marriage at 12 years old. And they didn't know any different. It was normal. In fact, even kids today are primed and ready to procreate as soon as they hit puberty. But we as a church culture tell them to wait until they are married to have sex. We shame them for masturbating and looking at porn. They could be waiting 10-15 years. I get it though, in todays culture, kids aren't expected to grow up that fast. But nobody told their bodies, that God created, that. I'm not advocating for kids to start marrying and having babies at 14. I'm just stating thoughts.
Depression and Anxiety, if you want to live your life enjoying that stuff....have at it. If you want to cut yourself because you like it...have at it. I don't know a single person that has any of these problems, embraces them, and loves them. If they do, that's awesome. Just don't harm others in the process. Guess how many people are harmed by someone being gay?
I can't fathom being with another man in a monogamous committed relationship either. Just like I can't fathom being in a monogamous committed relationship with any of the hundreds of thousands of females out there other than my wife.
And I bet you if you talked to anyone...gay or straight, 90% of them were neglected and or abused as children as well. Many of them just don't know what neglect or abuse is.
Did you know that 2 years ago I started seeing a therapist. They asked if I had a traumatic childhood. I said no. Of course not. I hadn't even thought of my childhood as traumatic or difficult at all. It was just life. I had an alcoholic father (who was on again off again with AA and has since recovered). But then I began unpacking some of the stuff I went through. After 15 minutes, my therapist told me that most likely the things I deal with today are from PTSD. Yeah, it's not just for soldiers. I had no clue. She said the way I grew up was incredibly traumatic. I'm not gay. I know lots of gay people that had a great childhood.
Here is the only science I care about. Some people are born with a brain that doesn't match their parts. Or some kind of mix up like that. It's very real. It happens. There are lots of men that exhibit female personalities. Lots of masculine personalities in females too. Things aren't always cookie cutter male/female. There is more to your gender than just a dick or a vagina.
Why do so many christians care so much about gay? Seriously? Do you think God cares that you have the lock down on what the science is behind being gay? I think if a christian that stood against gays and a gay person showed up in heaven at the same time, God would embrace the gay person, apologize for the treatment they received from christians and welcome them into eternity. And to the Christian....I'm sorry, who are you? In the meantime, LGBT people have real hurts and real pains that just need a friend and someone to stop judging them and trying to figure them out. They aren't a science experiment. Why do we need to be right or have an opinion about why they are the way they are? Are they hurting you? Are they causing harm for other people because of their gayness? NO! Most people are already hurt, confused and ARE BEING ABUSED BECAUSE THEY AREN'T THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE. And they just want to be loved and cared for.
Seriously. Someone who is trans or gay wants to just live their life. They want to be normal and even find someone else who loves and accepts them so they can spend the rest of their SPECK of a life with, why do christians need to get in the way?
There are SOOOOOO many other harmful behaviors that christians don't even bat an eye too. LIKE ALL THE SEXUAL ASSAULT, RAPE, AND ABUSE OF POWER that happens and is covered up inside of churches. Churches in our very community. That's just for starters.
And how about all the fat people in church that don't take care of their bodies. How about all the fat kids in our churches. IS THIS NOT CHILD ABUSE? Feeding our kids loads and loads of unhealthy foods resulting in long term health problems?
So before people go gay hating or trying to figure it all out.....Why not take a look at the plank in our own eye? If you take all of time and put it across your outstretched arms...we are but a microscopic sliver on the edge or your pinky finger. But we have to understand gay? It's getting downright pathetic.
How big is your God? Because when christians make big deals about this stuff...it makes god look pretty dang small. Pray for God to help you love people. That is all. And just Love them. God will sort out the right and wrongs. God will convict people of the areas they need to address. Did God appoint christians to be the conviction agents? If you don't believe that God is big enough to work through you loving and accepting someone just the way they are, just be an atheist. Cause who would want to believe in a God that doesn't work though love?
When did all relationships come down to sex? Do you not have very close intimate male friendships that aren't physical? And when did sex only become about reproduction? Did you only ever have sex with your wife twice? Because if it was only about reproduction, you'd stop when you were done having kids. Right?
As far as the disorder...Yes. Some things are disorders and they are also illegal. Like pedophilia. In todays world, a young child can't consent and it can be very damaging psychologically. So the perp goes to jail. And I can't stand those that wish death and hell on the perp either. Shame on them. Where is the hope for recovery and change so it doesn't happen again? And a lot of those threats come from....you guessed it, Christians. They spend more time wishing harm on the perp than they care about the repair, recovery and healing of the one who was molested. In fact...the victim is rarely mentioned at all. More care needs to be given to the victim to help them, instead we see people called for the head of the perp. As if that's going to bring healing to the one who was abused. However, pedophilia was quite common in history. It just wasn't pedophilia. Daughters were being given over to marriage at 12 years old. And they didn't know any different. It was normal. In fact, even kids today are primed and ready to procreate as soon as they hit puberty. But we as a church culture tell them to wait until they are married to have sex. We shame them for masturbating and looking at porn. They could be waiting 10-15 years. I get it though, in todays culture, kids aren't expected to grow up that fast. But nobody told their bodies, that God created, that. I'm not advocating for kids to start marrying and having babies at 14. I'm just stating thoughts.
Depression and Anxiety, if you want to live your life enjoying that stuff....have at it. If you want to cut yourself because you like it...have at it. I don't know a single person that has any of these problems, embraces them, and loves them. If they do, that's awesome. Just don't harm others in the process. Guess how many people are harmed by someone being gay?
I can't fathom being with another man in a monogamous committed relationship either. Just like I can't fathom being in a monogamous committed relationship with any of the hundreds of thousands of females out there other than my wife.
And I bet you if you talked to anyone...gay or straight, 90% of them were neglected and or abused as children as well. Many of them just don't know what neglect or abuse is.
Did you know that 2 years ago I started seeing a therapist. They asked if I had a traumatic childhood. I said no. Of course not. I hadn't even thought of my childhood as traumatic or difficult at all. It was just life. I had an alcoholic father (who was on again off again with AA and has since recovered). But then I began unpacking some of the stuff I went through. After 15 minutes, my therapist told me that most likely the things I deal with today are from PTSD. Yeah, it's not just for soldiers. I had no clue. She said the way I grew up was incredibly traumatic. I'm not gay. I know lots of gay people that had a great childhood.
Here is the only science I care about. Some people are born with a brain that doesn't match their parts. Or some kind of mix up like that. It's very real. It happens. There are lots of men that exhibit female personalities. Lots of masculine personalities in females too. Things aren't always cookie cutter male/female. There is more to your gender than just a dick or a vagina.
Why do so many christians care so much about gay? Seriously? Do you think God cares that you have the lock down on what the science is behind being gay? I think if a christian that stood against gays and a gay person showed up in heaven at the same time, God would embrace the gay person, apologize for the treatment they received from christians and welcome them into eternity. And to the Christian....I'm sorry, who are you? In the meantime, LGBT people have real hurts and real pains that just need a friend and someone to stop judging them and trying to figure them out. They aren't a science experiment. Why do we need to be right or have an opinion about why they are the way they are? Are they hurting you? Are they causing harm for other people because of their gayness? NO! Most people are already hurt, confused and ARE BEING ABUSED BECAUSE THEY AREN'T THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE. And they just want to be loved and cared for.
Seriously. Someone who is trans or gay wants to just live their life. They want to be normal and even find someone else who loves and accepts them so they can spend the rest of their SPECK of a life with, why do christians need to get in the way?
There are SOOOOOO many other harmful behaviors that christians don't even bat an eye too. LIKE ALL THE SEXUAL ASSAULT, RAPE, AND ABUSE OF POWER that happens and is covered up inside of churches. Churches in our very community. That's just for starters.
And how about all the fat people in church that don't take care of their bodies. How about all the fat kids in our churches. IS THIS NOT CHILD ABUSE? Feeding our kids loads and loads of unhealthy foods resulting in long term health problems?
So before people go gay hating or trying to figure it all out.....Why not take a look at the plank in our own eye? If you take all of time and put it across your outstretched arms...we are but a microscopic sliver on the edge or your pinky finger. But we have to understand gay? It's getting downright pathetic.
How big is your God? Because when christians make big deals about this stuff...it makes god look pretty dang small. Pray for God to help you love people. That is all. And just Love them. God will sort out the right and wrongs. God will convict people of the areas they need to address. Did God appoint christians to be the conviction agents? If you don't believe that God is big enough to work through you loving and accepting someone just the way they are, just be an atheist. Cause who would want to believe in a God that doesn't work though love?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)