Goodbye, old friend.

I sat on the floor by the couch coaxing the old dog to come over and sit with me for those final moments. In his earlier years he would have obliged and came over, tolerated me for a minute or two, and moved along. But today he just laid there and looked with exhaustion in his eyes. 



Exhaustion may not be the best word to describe that look. Happy was my wife’s dog. He’s been with her longer than I have, nearly 15 years. He was with her while she was at grad school in another state, keeping her company, keeping her safe, and perhaps keeping her a little sane. When she would come home and visit, that’s when he met me.  They told me he came across as a  little aggressive but not to worry as he’d never hurt anyone. He reminds me of someone I know quite well, too well. So naturally, when he barked at me, I barked back. I met Happy in full force that day. It was telling of the years to come. 



Over the next few months and into the spring Emily and I’s relationship blossomed along with the season.  I asked her to marry me on Easter of 2006 and we got married later that year. This would mean me also accepting Happy into my life.  



Our life together since has been full of good times and bad and Happy has been with her through it all. She was always his first priority. I’ve never seen a dog so committed and loyal to it’s owner.  He never stopped reminding me that he had her first. Happy was always hers. And I never wanted to take that away.



I’d be lying if I wasn’t a little jealous of their relationship. Everyone dreams about having a dog like happy. A dog that follows you to the ends of the earth. One that learns your varying work schedule and waits for you at the door until you come home. One that waits for you outside the bathroom just to make sure you are ok. One that sits with you while you are in the pains of infertility.  One that sits with you as you care for the miracles we call children that one day come. One that sits and comforts you in the midst of lifes unknowns. Happy always knew just what you needed.  I wanted a dog like Happy for me.



He rarely got into trouble. The occasionally chasing of a bicyclist or barking at deliveries was all the harm he had ever done. Sometimes it was hard to even classify him as “dog”.  Even when Emily was gone, he never treated me with the love he gave her. I think he was recharging during those times. He used me to provide food for him and a place to use the restroom.  Every morning when I would wake up, he would pass me in the hallway on his way to lay on my side of the bed. Though I’m sure in his mind he was waiting for me to get out of his side of the bed. I’d like to think he really enjoyed finding rest in the indentation my shoulder left on the mattress, but I really think he was just reclaiming the spot with “his” scent. And I’m pretty sure the big hole by my shoulder was exactly the size of Happy. 


Never the less, I loved that dog. I could write a book based on the life of Happy. It would be called “I, Happy”.  If any a pet would have a book written about them, it would certainly be him.



It wasn’t exhaustion I saw in his eyes, it was peace. Knowing that his time had come to an end, he laid there completely victorious, a job well done.  He wouldn’t quit. He would never give up despite poor health and tremendous fatigue, to care for his family. Happy gave us an example of what complete unselfish and unconditional love is. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

When I moved to lay with him on the cold, hard floor, He leaned into me.  For the first time ever in the history of our togetherness, HE leaned into me.  He offered a lightly audible grunt that seemed to have said, 



“She’s yours now. I believe you finally understand what it takes to love someone the way they need and deserve to be loved. I trust you, don’t ever forget what I’ve shown you.” 





I won’t, Happy. In those final moments I realized that I did have a dog just like Happy. I had Happy. A dog that was there for me and helped me in the areas I needed it the most. 


We said goodbye that morning as Happy drifted peacefully into eternity in our hearts, never to be forgotten. 

It's 5 o'clock and Cold

Let's talk about fake news. I think I get it. I don't like fake news.

In my opinion, lawyers can be great at fake news. They present the truth that's not exactly the truth. But the way that the story is told isn't not true, but it's not true either.

For example.  The song by 2003 song by Alan Jackson, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere".   It's not actually 5pm where he is, but it's 5pm somewhere in the world.  He's not wrong.  But if someone only heard him say, it's 5pm but not the rest of the story, they'd be misled.

I know, poor example.  Lets talk about one that I was knee deep in thought with yesterday. Presenting an argument about something that isn't wrong, but it's not right either.  The song, "Baby, it's cold outside."  If you read the lyrics of this song in todays world without the proper context, the song appears to be about a man pressuring a women to stay the night against her will.  That's horrible.  In fact, the first time I really listened to the lyrics I was pretty disgusted and couldn't believe that song was being played.

Yesterday I saw someone post that if you don't see that this song is about sexual assualt and rape, than you might be part of the problem.  Well, didn't want to be part of the problem.  So I did a fair amount of research into the history of the song and I came to find out to the best of my knowledge that the song is NOT about sexual assault and rape. But I can understand that if you heard it without the proper context you could make a valid case that it was. But I think that would be unfair to the original artist.

The song was written in the late 30's, early 40's.  The couple involved wanted to spend the night together buy at the time that would have been looked down upon. The lady says she should leave (not because she doesn't want to stay, but fear of what others would say if she stayed). But the man gives her an out. Something to say to people when they ask. It's cold outside.  You'll freeze. The fire is warm here.

The line about "what's in this drink?" isn't one of question. It's a line we've all used to explain actions we knew we wouldn't do otherwise by saying we had to much to drink.

But I also understand that this song, if played out in the literal sense, could have gone another way. The man could have offered to drive her home, or walk her home.  But he didn't, and she didn't want him to. Or maybe she did want to leave and he was trying to convince her to stay using his power and persistency. That would be awful. But I don't believe for one second that's what the original artist intended. Unless his wife, who performed the song with him was also into that and ok with it.

I get it that people might not like this song. It may even trigger a bad experience. And I'm sorry about that. I don't really like the song, either.  But don't make something up about the song to further a point. Use it as a teaching point. But don't make the song the enemy. The very thing the song is pushing up against is the enemy. The unfair societal expectations and others assuming things without all the information. Be mad at those.

I won't hide this song from my kids. But I will explain to them what they are talking about if it comes up. I can even use this song to teach consent. But I will not make the song about the promotion and acceptance of sexual assault and rape. That's fake news.

Figuring out my Christmas

I got the Christmas feels this morning.

Wait.

I got the Christmas music feels this morning. There is a difference. Thanks to August Burns Red's version of "O Holy Night".  

It made me tear up a little bit. Again, not sure if it was the amazing composure of the song done by ABR or the emotions of Christmas. It's hard to tell when it comes to music. It moves you. Think of Braveheart without the soundtrack, it just wouldn't be the same. But that's not what this blog is about.

I grew up with Christianity as our families belief. We went to church every Sunday and were involved in Wednesday night activities. I continued to go to church after I moved out and was on my own. Church and Christianity were always a part of my life. Until about 3 years ago. I can't really pinpoint exactly what made me begin to question this thing called Church and Christianity. It always felt good, until it didn't.

The holiday season is also more difficult when some of the best memories you had of them were from childhood. And when childhood memories no longer are the same as they once were, it doesn't help the situation much. The wounds may heal, but the scars remain. It's kinda like Harry Potter's scar. It doesn't always hurt, but when it hurts, it's crippling.

I know I'm not the only one. And it's not something that is easy to process. There are so many different emotions involved in this. Sadness, anger, hurt, frustration, confusion, doubt, but rarely ever peace. You want to believe, but you can't.

For me I think I started using Sunday mornings for my long runs. These typically took me several hours to complete and was a form of "church" for me. But when the weather turned cold and I wasn't running anymore, I never went back. I stayed home and made music in the studio that I had put together in our garage. This was also like church to me. I wrote about the mental battles I was facing with much of that emotion reflected in the songs I wrote.  

"I wish I had a hope, a wish or a dream that could manifest.

To escape this sorry life and run away, chase the setting sun so that the darkness stays away.  

But it’s like a trap, the lights go out but I can’t say goodbye from the darkness of my life.  

Metal chains have me locked up, bound and broken, crucified to this lie and I can’t.  Breathe."  

After several months to a year of this I realized that nothing really changed significantly as a result of not attending church. I did notice that nobody from the church I grew up in really noticed my absence either. There was a few, though. I can count them using fingers on one hand. 

This was not an easy thing. There was a lot of turmoil both interior and exterior. My views of the world and humanity began to change. Celebrating things like Thanksgiving became harder knowing that it's not as "happy" as the picture is painted. Christmas and Easter are more difficult and you have to begin to look at them from a more secular view. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, many do it. But how you've celebrated these holidays for your entire existence is changing. It's hard to adjust from normal. 

I still don't attend church. I've become a "Chreaster". I don't pray. I don't read the Bible. I don't really buy into christianity or the American Church anymore. Even though the many in the church I would attend if I attended say that even if Jesus and Christianity wasn't real they'd still be the same people and love people the same. I believe them. But to attend you have to believe the same "thing" they believe or you won't really fit in. It's tough. Because many of them would say I could. But I can't. 

Yet. 

This morning I also heard a the song, "What Child is This?" by Future of Forestry.  Also a spectacular song.  August Burns Red has a pretty amazing version too. 

But, Jesus. 

I still cling to hope that Jesus was a real person. Besides, other religions point to Jesus. He must be real. And from what I read, Jesus was a rebel. He came to flip religion on its head. He came to love. He came to live. He came to die. And I believe Jesus loved people so much that he couldn't bear the amount of people that were being killed via crucifixion, so many that they ran out of trees, that he said....

"Me Too" 

This is the time of year his birth is celebrated. Can I get behind that? Who is Jesus? I'd ask him, but even Jesus himself asked the question. He asked his disciples what others said who he was. He asked his disciples who they thought he was. Did Jesus even know the depths that he would impact the world? 

This Christmas I want to gain an understanding of who Jesus was. Not on an emotional or spiritual level, but a biographical study of the person of Jesus. What if Jesus didn't want a religion behind him? What if he didn't want billions of dollars tied up in religious buildings and other offerings? How will we ever know? More has been written about Jesus in the past 20 years than in the previous 2000. 

I guess maybe the best thing I can do is to be the best me I know how to be. I think that's what Jesus would be. 

I was hoping writing this out would bring some clarity. I was hoping it would bring me to some new level of peace with my beliefs.  But as I'm wrapping up, I realized that I was already there.  

And I am always reminded that when writing blogs like this, why people end up writing books instead. 

Just. No.

Cool God story time.

This morning I was up at 1:30am to take my missionary friends to the airport. I enjoy the extra time I get to spend with them and the trust they place in me to always pick them up and drop them off on time when they return home. Well, at 1:45am this morning I accidentally locked my keys in our van.  This was a very peculiar thing to happen seeing as how there is usually at least one unlocked door at all times due to faulty lock actuators. So the fact that all the doors got locked was incredibly rare. With no time to spare, I knew the only thing to do was to take my truck, and leave the van idling by it's lonesome in our driveway.

Upon arrival at their location to pick them up, it was evident that the amount of luggage would NOT have fit in the van without the passengers being VERY uncomfortable and unsafe for the 2 hour drive to BWI. It was actually a blessing in disguise that I had the truck. For a moment I thought what mysterious ways God works. That He knew the amount of luggage and space requirements to keep all passengers safe. He allowed the doors to be locked on purpose so I would have no other option to take the truck. What a cool and thoughtful dude God is to do something like that.  Right?  He knew we had roadside assistance from State Farm and they'd be able to come get the doors unlocked as soon as I got home even though I didn't even know we had roadside assistance until I got home.  So amazing that God is to take care of those little things.

No. No. No. No. No. Just, No.  Don't even try to spin it that way. I was careless. I locked the keys in the van. God had nothing to do with it. Why and how can I say that so confidently? Because of all the atrocities and vile things that happen in this world that God doesn't intervene. Everything worked out perfect for us this morning despite the circumstances. Things don't always work out perfectly for anyone else that faces trials and hardships in life that are much worse that locking their keys in the van. People get abused, assaulted, murdered, left for dead when one small intervention from God could have saved them. But that doesn't happen. How selfish would it have to be for me to think that God had any type of intervention on that event that I experienced this morning?

What's my point? I just wish people would stop giving credit to God when there is no evidence God had anything to do with something. Give yourself some credit, give yourself some blame.

Anyway. Just some thoughts this morning.

a long blog about the NFL, Trump, the National Anthem, Church and Bitches.

Couple things this morning that I'd like to get off my chest.  I wasn't going to weigh in on the NFL, Donald, the NBA, or the National Anthem.  But I will.

First, I used to write about all the things I didn't like about church, christianity, and a belief in a higher power.  But you know what?  I still like church.  I don't go often.  But I still remain friends with several people that do and even help out when there is a need.   I can not like something, disagree with something, perhaps not even believe in something, but still love the people involved, believe in their hearts, and what they are doing.

So I get it, you like Trump.  You think he's the greatest.  Fine.   But you have to remember something.  It's a really important detail.  He's the President of the United States of America.   His primary goal is to make America great for all citizens.   Right now, he's trying to make America great for himself and only those that support him.  His words create division.  He is not careful with what he says and the consequences that may follow.   He is disrespectful to our fellow man, regardless of you feel about said man, or woman.  This past Friday, September 22, he called many amazing mothers, "bitches".  Mothers that sacrificed so much so their sons could play a sport they loved.  With his wreckless words, he called them all bitches.  This man is so foolish with the things he says he doesn't realize that when you call a man, a son of a bitch, you are not criticizing the man.  You are criticizing his mother.  This is appalling, unacceptable behavior for a president.  And many that support him are willing to overlook this absurdity.  Guess what, you don't have to.  You deserve better.  You can expect more from the person you elected.  More class.  More professionalism.  And still be a supporter.  You don't have to take everything he says and worship it.  Just like the relationship I have with the church.  I can still recognize the good, while being unsettled about much of it and do it in a way that means no disrespect to those that still attend church.

But why protest during the National Anthem?  Well, why not?  It's peaceful.  It's not disrupting.  Think about the same scenario in a different environment.  Lets go back to church.  Imagine the whole congregation all walking up front to take communion and you saw a few remaining seated.  Wouldn't the first inclination be to sit down next to them and ask them what's wrong?   Rather, what our president is suggesting is to yell at that person, call him a son of a bitch, and demand he be removed from the premises for not participating.

The National Anthem is an important song to many.  It holds a lot of value and honor.  Even if the full song is controversial and has racist roots.  We've been able to ignore that and use the good parts of it as a sign and symbol of this great nation.  And America is pretty great.  For many people.  But sadly, still not all people.  And I'm not willing to settle for the fact that it's still better than other countries.

But many people are confusing the National Anthem with a celebratory act or moment to honor our military and veterans.  That's not what the National Anthem is about.  The anthem is about celebrating our country.  And if you can't fully celebrate our country, why fake it?  Why stand up even though you have some unsettling feelings about it?  Just like the person sitting for communion.  Something is keeping you from fully engaging in the celebration and remembrance.  So, rather than tell them to GTFO, perhaps listening to their concerns would be a better option.  Seek to understand the plights of our fellow Americans.

Because that's what we all are, fellow Americans.   And this is America.  We have certain unalienable rights.  Like the pursuit of liberty.  Freedom.  America is great.  But being great doesn't mean perfect. And I commend the people that see things that need to change, that bring awareness to it, and that do something to push the process of change forward.  And one of the first ways to bring change is to bring awareness to a problem.

I'm going to let alone the fact that Donald withdrew his invitation to the GS Warriors because there was some hesitation from one of the players to go.  But....

Be the bigger person, Mr. President.  Say something like, "I'm sorry you are hesitant to come to the White House Mr. Curry.  It's an honor to visit a place with such history and importance.  Your hesitation is concerning and I'd like to hear what's on your mind."   "Mr. Kaepernick, I've seen you kneeling for the National Anthem.  This song is a very important symbol to this great nation.  What can I do as President of this Nation to help you be able to stand and be proud of the country in which you live?"  But no,  this man in the White House....people say he's got a backbone.  No.  He has no backbone at all.  When he doesn't get his way or thinks someone doesn't like him, he turns into a whiny little crybaby and throws a big hissy fit.  Being successful in business doesn't mean you'd make a good president, and he's proven that for sure.   Sorry, I may have had you up until this point.  But sometimes truth comes up and slaps you in the face.

It Might Work, But it Doesn't Mean it's Right

Couple weeks ago I was talking to another about health care costs.  It's no mistake that they are rising.  I remember when I had to acquire health insurance as a self employed individual and paying around $70 a month for mainly emergency medical care.  Honestly, it was so confusing to me what was covered and what wasn't.  Fast forward fifteen years and it's gotten a lot more expensive and a lot more confusing.  Why can't health care just be simple?   That answer is a much longer piece of writing.  Like me, the other person wasn't happy with the rising costs.  

And then a thought donned on me.  What if health insurance was never supposed to as cheap as it was 15-20 years ago?  What if that price wasn't sustainable?  What if the costs now reflect more of what the actual cost of insurance is?   If that's true, then instead of being upset about what the costs are now, be upset at the costs that never should have been.   Obviously, that may not be the case.  The increase could be because of the poor health of country.  We are the most overfed and undernourished country in the world.

But that's not what I'm writing about today.  I'm challenging the way we look at they way things are.  Because the way things are may not be the right way.

From the moment we were born, several things were set in place.  Starting with where we were born. Then what color we are.  Then what kind of home we lived in to how attentive our parents were.   Pretty much up until we were 18, most decisions were made for us.  Depending on what country or culture you live in of course.  But even then.  Many are confined by society on what you can and can't do.  

I remember the first time I travelled to a third world country.  I couldn't believe that a place like that existed on this planet.  It literally was a different world.  Everything about it was different, except for the fact we were all humans.  And none of us got to choose where we were born.  And for many people, the choice to move isn't a reality.

Even traveling within my own country, the United States of America, there are drastic differences in what society and culture look like depending on your region.  Different municipalities, counties, cities and states have different laws.   These could vary greatly from place to place.

This perspective shift also shows up in religious beliefs too.  Many families have a belief system already in place for generations and you are brought right into it.  Many never deviate from the path that's been laid out by one's family.  Some though, myself included, start to question and challenge the "what is".   We've been told there are certain "have to's" but we learn pretty quickly that we don't actually "have to".  

What's the point?  Just because you've always done something doesn't mean that's the right way or the only way to do something.  Just because you've been taught something doesn't mean there aren't other ways.

Never close your mind.  Always be open to other possibilities.  Especially the possibility that you might be wrong or there might be another way.

My Friend Dan.

I've always loved the term, perfectly imperfect.  I'm not exactly sure where it came from, but it's been my life motto for many years now.  It infiltrates everything in my life.  Some say it's a sign of perfectionism.  You leave projects unfinished purposely because you know they'll never be perfect.  So then you can say it's perfectly imperfect.

Perfectly imperfect things are unique.  There are no other things just like it.

I learned today that my friend Dan also loved this term.  Wabi-sabi.  Wabi-sabi cares for all things authentic and recognizes that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

Dan and I worked together in the Spring and Early summer of 2014.  It wasn't long until we began having deep conversations about life, spirituality, emotions, mental illness, depression, and anxiety.  Basically all things deep that normal people don't really get into because they aren't always comfortable conversations.   We worked on an old cabin together at Fuller lake in Pine Grove State Park and an old farmhouse outside of Mt. Holly Springs.  That's where Dan discovered this and captured history with this digital image.  It was a small piece of authenticity from this house that was being renovated into something new.  And then we painted over it.  Ok, I painted over it.  I don't know that Dan could have.

Dan was always encouraging me to check out the Metropolis Collective in Mechanicsburg.   He said I'd love it.  Dan was an artist.  A really skilled artist at that.  That's why I thought he'd be good help for me that summer.  For some reason I thought that being skilled at using a brush would be a good attribute for a residential house painter.  Not the same brush.  Not the same at all.  Dan was an artist through and through.  And I enjoyed every minute we spent working together.  And despite the difference in brush work, he was a fine house painter.

Dan introduced me to one of my now favorite genres of music.  Indie folk.  I guess it's indie folk, whatever Bon Iver is.   It has brought me peace in some of my most emotional moments.  In a way I think only Dan could understand.

At the end of that year, Dan asked me if he could buy a few of my dropcloths.  He said they would look nice for a display they were working on at the gallery.  He then offered me more money than what it would be if he bought new ones and splashed paint on them.   I didn't understand.  His explanation....

"I can't recreate this.  These dropcloths are authentic.  And that's what I'm looking for." 

That's an important lesson for us all.

The creative person doesn't create things for money.  They crave authenticity.  They crave the possibility of what can be.  They create things because that's who they are.  Actually, I don't know why people create things.  Probably a lot of reasons.  You can't put a price on the inspiration we get from a creative mind.   That's probably why you've heard someone say they are a "struggling artist".   

A struggling artist.  

That was Dan.  We both shared our struggles with depression and anxiety.  At times it's debilitating.  You don't want to leave your house.  You feel trapped.  These are the words of a creative mind whose been to those depths.  

I wish I had a hope, a wish or a dream that could manifest.

To escape this sorry life and run away, chase the rising sun until the darkness fades away.  

But it’s like a trap.  The lights go on but I can’t say goodbye from the darkness in my life.  Unseen chains have me locked up, bound and broken, crucified to this lie and I can’t.  Breathe.  

That was me.  I wrote those words.  I placed them in a perfectly imperfect song, one of my creative outlets.  

On August 21 2017 Daniel Kalbach was released from the captivity of those chains unseen by many.  He was in a car accident early that monday morning.  Dan loved many and had a heart for others despite his own struggles.  He was loved by many and will be missed by all.  

These are a few of the drop cloth recreations.  May we never fail to see the value in something old, used and abused.  May we never fail to see the inspiration that can be brought to us through art.  There is something special about a drop cloth.  It doesn't mind getting dirty so something else has a better chance of staying clean.  The sacrifice of ones self for another.

Thank you Dan.  I'll never forget the impact that both your life,  and your death has had on me.  Rest in Peace, my friend.  Wabi-sabi.

keto success

They say if you love something you should let it go and if it comes back it loves you too.  I love food, all types of food.  And because of that love, excess weight came with it.  So I said goodbye to certain foods and hello to a lot of exercise.  I was beginning to think that my extra weight and foods really loved me.  Because every time I let them go,  they always seemed to come back to me.

Relationships with food can be incredibly complicated.  Food plays with our emotions.  Not only does it impact our physical selves, it impacts our psychological selves too.  The wrong food makes us feel good at night and leaves us after a one night stand with a note on the pillow saying thanks for the good time and sorry for any negative consequences I left you with.  For many...this happens night after night.  

Over the course of my life I've gained and lost over 100 pounds.  I'll never forget my first affair with weight loss.  I was 25.  Just married that year to my amazing wife.  We were planning a trip with friends to the beach at the end of the summer.  Myself and some friends decided on a weight loss challenge for the 2 and a half months prior to the trip.  Game on.  I weighed in at 211.  I'm 6 feet tall so I wasn't that overweight.  Although I'm pretty sure I had visible six pack abs 2 years prior.  Commence severe calorie restriction, massive will power and two hours or more a day at the gym or exercising.  Easy to do when you have a flexible work schedule, don't have kids,  and there is money and bragging rights on the table.  It worked, I lost 36 pounds.  Weighed in at 175.   Though, I didn't win the competition.

I can't say I remember for certain what my diet looked like.  I know I didn't give up drinking Miller Lite.  Pretty sure I stuck with mostly vegetables and chicken.  Lots of salads, yogurt and granola.  No fast food but an emphasis on low fat and low calorie.  One thing I'll never forget is that first stop on our trip the Outer Banks.  We all went to IHOP.  I felt lost.  I felt like I was betraying all that I had worked for.  I don't know what I ate, but I remember the feelings.  And after that meal....It was game over.  No more dieting.  I let loose that week on all things food and drink.  In a way, it was good to not stress about food.  But over the next year, my weight crept back up.  I couldn't sustain the work I had done to lose all that weight.   Nor did I want to continue restricting the amount and kinds of food to be had.   This only confirmed what I thought about losing weight was correct,  that I needed to eat food that I didn't really like, be hungry,  and work out a lot to lose weight.

The next affair with weight loss came when a friend told me about this "paleo" thing.  Basically a caveman diet.  So I tried that.  I set a goal that if I got down to 180 I could buy a pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes.  My rules were simple.  If a caveman could eat so could I.  Well, apparently I thought cavemen could eat popcorn, salad dressing, cheese and beer.  Regardless, I got to my goal weight over the course of a few months with lots of exercising mixed in.  After I got my shoes, all progress was halted and all weight crept back.

I'm sensing a pattern.  Eat whatever I want, gain weight, get frustrated at weight gain, put a reward out there for me to get, cut calories, exercise a lot, lose weight, get reward.   I had several of these weight loss affairs usually lasting a few weeks and 10-15 pounds at a time.  I never found anything that stuck.  Why could I not maintain?   Why could I not continue?  I assumed it was because I lacked will power.

But I was wrong.  That way doesn't work.  But I didn't know that.  Diet and exercise...it made me believe that was the only way because it worked for me.  But only for a time.  I didn't want to do that the rest of my life.  I thought fat was bad and it made you fat.  I didn't even know what carbs really were and protein was what you ate for muscles.

My next fling I decided to run a 77 mile ultra marathon.  If I just ran a lot I could eat whatever I wanted, right?  I was about 30 pounds overweight at the start of 2015 I started running.  And run did I ever.  Up through August  of that year I had completed about 6 marathon distance trail runs with nearly 15 half marathon distances tossed into the mix.  Let alone all the single digit mileage runs.   And I ran myself right into an injury.   Though having run all those miles...I still had quite a gut on me.  You could call me fit fat.

I had gotten to a point in my life where I had given up.  My wife and I had children now.  We both had careers we were busy with.  We both had life stress.  Food and exercise were the last of my worries.   I wrote off every being fit again and tried to settle into this new life.   At this point food was my drug.  I loved craft beer and whiskey.  I kept Jelly Belly jelly beans with me all the time.  I was really overweight and my mental health was in decline.  I didn't want to give up what I was currently eating.

But in the beginning of 2016 I got wind of this thing called the ketogenic diet.  Give up carbs?  I don't know if I can.  But I knew something had to change.  I was going downhill fast.  So May 9 2016 at lunch time I ate a salad and had a beer and decided the keto diet was what I was doing.   I was committed from day one knowing and believing it would work.  And it did, I lost about 35 pounds in 3 months with most of that coming off in the first month.  I listened to audiobooks and podcasts about the ketogenic way of eating and joined several Facebook groups about the ketogenic diet.  I also co-created a keto Facebook group of my own with over 400 members and we've lost a combined total of over 3000 pounds to date.    For almost a year now I've been maintaining easily.  I eat foods that I enjoy and plenty of them.  Now that I finally learned how the different macronutrients work in your body, maintenance is easy.  I followed a strict 20g of net carbs per less a day for almost a year and have since dialed back a little to around 40-50g of net carbs per day.   Though I'd venture to guess I'm still around 25g.

Throughout this journey I've done very minimal exercising for the purpose of losing weight.  I exercise for fun now, as it should always be.

Ketosis and the Ketogenic way of eating has been a life saver for me.  My energy levels have stabilized.  I can enjoy long runs and bike rides without having to worry much about fueling.  Inflammation is a thing of the past.  Mental clarity is astounding.  Plus a plethora of other benefits that came along with it.   Whether you are trying to clean up chronic conditions, autoimmune disease, or just looking to lose weight, I highly recommend learning the ways of KETO!

Going to School with Josiah

This is not the first time I’ve sat in a coffee shop.  Today is different.  My daughter Anne is with her Grammy.  She’s in heaven when it’s just her and either of Grandmothers.  My wife who just worked hard all weekend catching babies is at home in a quiet house getting some rest.  



But today.  Josiah, my son, started Kindergarten.  Full day Kindergarten.  I’m still processing how I feel about this step into parenthood.  I feel different today sitting at this coffee shop.  I should be getting some work done establishing my health coaching business but that can wait a few minutes.

 

Josiah is one of the most inquisitive boys I know.  He’s always asking questions.  Even at his young age of 5, we’ve had many conversations about the world, about life, about spirituality and many other wonders.  I don’t know what makes me think I’m qualified at all to answer any of these questions.  As hard as it is, I try not to give him any definitive answers about the complex stuff.  So much of life we don’t actually know if what we believe is true.  Just that we believe it.   So much of life I thought was true is now up for debate as I get older.  Even now I try to reconcile if it’s even ok to believe in something even if it’s not true.  How do we even know for sure?   I don’t know that I’m mentally capable to do any of that.




Life is easier if you just settle into it.  Find the flow they say.  What happens when you find the flow but don’t like the direction it’s going?  The answer to that, I’m still trying to figure out.  



Yesterday I took the kids on a hike.  Kind of ironic that we ended up on a section of trail with a small creek.  Naturally, we built a dam.  It’s a great place to learn about the flow.  About redirection.  About persistency.  About the ripple effect of every action.  What happens upstream, what happens downstream.  So much you can learn from piling rocks up in the middle of a small stream.   




Here’s to you Josiah, I hope I’ve done a good job helping you adjust your sails in preparation for the flow of life.  I know you’ve definitely adjusted mine.  Love you buddy.

Boycotting the Boycott

I will not be boycotting the NFL this year.  And let me tell you why.

As far as I know the reason for this boycott is so Colin Kaepernick gets signed.  It's alleged that teams will not sign him due to his demonstrations both on and off the field promoting social justice.  Many complaints are that teams have no problem signing rapists, abusers of women, former convicts and many other people of questionable character.   Many teams are saying they just don't need him.  If he was good enough to be an NFL quarterback he'd be one.  Just like Tim Tebow.

Now, I don't think Kaepernick is what he once was, but I think he's at least good enough to be a back up.  Just like Tim Tebow.  Maybe Kaepernick doesn't want to be a back up.   Just like Tim Tebow.   I'm making no other remarks about Tebow.  Other than that he also got extra famous for kneeling too.  Just like Colin Kaepernick.

Anyway.  So what if the boycott works and Colin Kaepernick gets a job.  Then what?  Does that really change anything?

Nearly every place you patronize has some level of questionable ethics involved with the business on some level.  There are people somewhere along the line treated poorly and less than.  I'm not ok with that.  But I also know that a boycott could negatively impact a countless number of people that have nothing to do with those decisions or behaviors.

The NFL is a HUGE business.  And remember, that's all it is.  A form of entertainment industry.  It's VERY successful multi billion dollar industry that employs millions of people from the players and coaches all the way down to the person selling sodas at the food stand.  Do you want to put all those jobs in jeopardy?  What would the consequences be on the economy if the NFL fell apart?  Are you ready for that?

Honestly, if the NFL did fall apart because of this (which it won't), I'd be ok with that.  But I don't want that to happen.  I also want people to be treated fairly.

There are problems with EVERY industry that gets as large as the NFL.  You can boycott it if you want to.  Really.  Just don't forget about everyone along that way who feeds their family because of the NFL.

What am I missing?  Should the NFL be boycotted for this?  There are things much worse that Kaepernick not having job that go in inside the inner workings of the NFL.  Find out what they are, and boycott for those reasons too.

The Problem

Over the past few weeks I've tried to get into public when I can.  Usually this involves local coffee shops where I'll sit and sip a brew and catch up on online goings on and observing people.

A few days ago I noticed a man sitting right by a door in a coffee shop.  Every woman that walked in he made verbal contact with.  Usually it was a simple, hello beautiful.  And attempt at a wave or other compliment based on her exterior appearance.   At first I didn't think much of it.  But I noticed he was also following many women with his eyes as they walked past.  I also noticed he didn't even make eye contact or an attempt to say hello to any male that walked in the door.   I didn't say anything that day.   

But today.  He was back.  Seemingly innocent.  And I certainly don't believe he meant any ill intent.  But the first woman who walked through the door he leaned in, "hey beautiful, how are you doing today?"  After having observed this man on a prior occasion and again this morning, I got that feeling.  That, "you need to say something" feeling.  So I did.  I asked the young woman how it made her feel.  She simply said she just semi ignored it, smiled politely and moved along.   

I then asked one of the workers about him.  It's a tough spot to be in for them.  No one complained.  He's a paying customer.  But is his behavior acceptable?  I didn't say anything to the man.  I wanted to ask if he gave a thought to how his behavior would make others feel.  Knowing he didn't treat men the same way.  I can't believe he was just trying to be friendly.  Or maybe he has deep phycological issue where he is afraid of men.  I don't know.  But that still doesn't excuse only interacting with passer-by women.  

I moved coffee shops.  Sitting outside watching the world go by and I notice a group of men all dressed in suits.  They were walking down the sidewalk.  4 of them, walking 2 abreast.  And not one of them moved an inch when a women had to all but get off the sidewalk to avoid their quick pace.  

Do people even realize what they do?  Would they be open to hear a critique of what was observed?  Would I be open if someone did the same to me?  

Not done yet.

I hear people often say that eating healthy is expensive.  At first, I agree.  It seems as though healthy food is more expensive than say, a box of twinkles, 6 pack of ramen, 4 boxes of macaroni, frozen chicken nuggets and 24 pack of soda.  I don’t even know how much that costs anymore, but probably about the same as a bottle of kombucha with chia seeds and a salad.   



The problem with this is that the focus is on quantity and not quality.   I’d even make the argument that health food isn’t expensive.  It’s actually fairly priced.  It’s the other foods that are inexpensive. Cheap.  Poor quality.  There is a long term cost to consuming “cheap” foods in excess that needs to be accounted for.  Have you ever stopped to ask why these “foods” are so cheap?



I think some assume that companies that produce the healthier foods are greedy and want to put a high price tag on “health” foods because they can.  In reality, I believe they try to make them as cheap as possible given the extra time and work needed to produce the quality foods.  Whereas the companies that manufacture cheap foods only focus on the bottom line, make the foods as cheaply as possible, and sell them at the maximum amount possible before people stop buying them.  I would be willing to make the claim that the markup on the cheaper foods is much larger than the more expensive healthier options.



Does it cost more money to eat healthy?  Maybe.  But that’s entirely up to you.  You can eat healthy on a budget.  But you’ve got to change how you think when it comes to food.  You need to change your relationship with food.  Instead of living to eat, you must learn to eat to live.  It is there you will find that you don’t need to eat nearly as much food as you think you do.  



Granted…I’m speaking mostly to Americans here.  Food supply and demand varies greatly from country to country.  And quite honestly, I’ve never had to follow a strict food budget.  



Another example of something similar that I thought of the other day.   Health Insurance.  I can’t even begin to count the number of people who have said that the cost of their insurance skyrocketed under "ObamaCare".  They said they paid as little as $50-100 before the ACA and then they paid upwards of $500 a month or more on healthcare.   Wow!  That's a hefty price increase.  But everyone always wonders why it costs so much and rarely do I hear anyone ask why it did cost so little before.  They are only focusing on one thing, the high price tag.  Maybe the lower price wasn't sustainable.  Maybe it was to cheap and you were being duped into thinking it was such a great deal.  Maybe at the same time it was costing others an exorbitant amount.   Maybe the new cost was equal across the board and should have been that much the whole time.  It just seems expensive since you were used to being undercharged.

Everyone always thinks the people that charge a high cost for things are just trying to get rich.  They aren't.  They are charging a fair amount for a quality product or a service.  

Here's another one for you.  When you buy a box of tissues at a grocery store for $1.50 or you buy the same exact box of tissues at the hospital for $8.  Why does one individual packet of tylenol cost $15 when you are a patient at the hospital?

Interesting that I bring up the hospital part.  Because if you continue to eat unhealthy meals simply because they are cheaper, that's where you'll end up.   There is a connection between the food industry, health care industry and pharmaceutical companies.  I promise you that.   The cheap, poor quality foods are emotionally satisfying but destroying our physical selves.  And it seems as though many in the health care field start out with the best of intentions but for whatever the reason it becomes fixing the symptom instead of curing the disease.  It's what can we treat it with instead of how can we fix it.

Permission to nag.

Couple things on my mind today that I'm going to hash out in a blog.

I feel like a tremendous amount of people carry around way to much baggage.  They carry around things they wish they would have said but didn't because it's not that big of a deal.  True, it may not have been that big of deal.  But when you let lots of nbd's add up, they turn into one really big deal.  Especially if those nbd's all involve the same person.

This happens a lot in marriages.  It can be something as simple as not picking up last nights dirty laundry and putting in the hamper.  This is a simple request you ask of your partner and it's really not a big deal so you don't say anything if they don't do it.  But then something else happens, they leave toothpaste residue in the sink.  They don't put the dishes away.   There's pee on the seat.  All those nbd's add up.  And then when a big deal happens, all the nbd's come out too.  And things get ugly.  You'd wish you'd have said something earlier, because the big deal would have been much easier without all the baggage of the nbd's weighing on you.  

In fact...if those nbd's bother you, I'd make the claim that you owe it to the other person to tell them every single time.  It doesn't have to be mean.  Just something simple like, "I really wish you'd put your dirty laundry before you go to bed."  Whether they do it or not is irrelevant.  You let it off your chest, after that it's on them.  Even if you have to tell them every morning.

This goes beyond inside the house.  What if things other people do bother you?

I get this with my job on occasion.  I paint houses.  I try to be thorough and make sure things look good.  I would much rather have someone inquire about a spot on the wall that's bothering them before I'm finished.  That is...if they are aware of it.  But even if they wait till the end, I'd still rather have them tell me about it, instead of not saying anything.  If they don't say anything, every time they see it they'll think negatively and wish they would have said something.   I could write a book about that one thing alone.

Just be honest with people.  Let feelings out as you have them.  Otherwise they will cloud your future emotions and feelings about people.  People deserve an opportunity to change.  And if people don't even know they are in the wrong or if they are hurtful, how will they know to change if you don't share how you are feeling?

If you don't like church because of something a church did to you.  You owe it to yourself and to them to let them know.   It gives you a chance to let the hurt off your chest and it gives them an opportunity to know so they don't unintentionally hurt others the same way.  This one hits really close to home for me.  I hate church.  But I love so many of the people in church.

If you don't like avoid a restaurant because of the cleanliness or a servers bad attitude but you love the food, you owe it to yourself and to the restaurant tell the manager or owner.   Why?  So you can enjoy their food and the restaurant has a chance to bring attention to the needs.  And it gets it off your chest.

What about a family member?  What if they do things that bother you?  Shit, that's a tough one.  Let me know when you have that one figured out.   Too many times I default back to, "there's something I should have done differently and I wouldn't feel this way."  This isn't helpful for your own well being.  We could have all done things differently.

Going back to the above scenario of picking up dirty laundry.  What if you had to ask your partner every day to put their clothes in the hamper?  Wouldn't that be nagging?  NO!!!  They should just pick up their clothes.  Since when was the one that asked a simple task to be done the one in the wrong?  Pick your clothes up, simple as that.  Anyway.  Just some thoughts.

Sharing how you feel isn't nagging.  Not in the least.

I have to be true to my convictions

I really don't like MLM's.  At all.  But I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

MLM's create a vision for you that has everyone walking around with a dollar sign hovering over their head.  And you'll feel ok making money off of them because you have a product that they want and think they need.  

There is a product that is gaining huge popularity, exogenous ketones.  I just want to set the record straight.  I think it's a fine product if used in the right way.  But if you use the product in the right way, you don't really need the product.  Let me explain.

The claim is that it puts your body into ketosis.  Ketosis is a natural metabolic process that converts fat cells into energy in the absence of glucose.  So...you finally burn off the stored fat from the donuts you ate ten years ago.  You do this through carbohydrate restriction.  It's natural.  Meaning for the vast majority of the population you don't need to buy a product to get this to happen

This is why I cannot promote the use of these products, especially under the umbrella of an MLM.  You can achieve the same exact results without the product.  And no, you can't have your cake and eat it too.  This is not an eat whatever you want and then drink this drink so you can burn fat product.

I asked several health and wellness professionals about the use of exogenous ketones and here are some of the responses I got.

 -Here is the deal: Keto is currently on "hype" because a lot of MLM companies are pushing it hard.  

-Exogenous ketones do have "a place": as a nootropic, to improve concentration, even cancer treatment and prevent or help with epileptic seizures.  Also, they can improve sports perfomance. 

-Exogenous ketones DO NOT help with fast loss.  They may even inhibit fat loss. 

-Ketones are a by-product of fatty acid metabolization that your body can use as energy (well, only BHB, as acetone and acetoacetate are waste products).  If you give your body exogenous BHB... it amps down lypolisis: why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

  Remember the body utilizes macros in certain order: Alcohol (ethanol) > Carbohydrates (glucose) > Protein (Aminoacids) > Fat (Fatty Acids)

-If you give your body the end product it will always use it first, as it requires less energy to process. The body wants to survive and conserve energy. 

-The product does not "PUT YOU IN KETOSIS" - it introduces ketone bodies in your body. Different things. It is false ketosis in a way.

The only time I would ever recommend using exogenous ketones is if you were already following a ketogenic or low carb diet for several months and we found a need for them as described above (cancer treatment, seizures, nootropic, etc). 

But that's just the opinion of someone not trying to sell a product.  Take it or leave it.

I found this article from a well respected ketogenic community.   It's worth checking out if you are interested in this product.   to-ketone-or-not-to-ketone.

If that wasn't enough reason.  Over the past year I have helped lead or encourage a small group of people in following a ketogenic or primal aligned diet and we've collectively lost well over 3000 pounds and reversed many autoimmune diseases.  And we haven't used a special powder or pill to do it.  OR worked out ridiculous hours at the gym.  OR had to eat crappy cardboard flavored diet food.     

Evolution God

My heads been a lot of different places lately.  Sometimes I wish I was a full time writer.  I get these thoughts in my head and I just want to explore them.  But I don't always have time to do so.

I like to investigate.  I like to know why things are the way they are.  I like to know the potential different outcomes of things if you do them one way or another.

A couple weeks ago I started an online certification program to become a Primal Health Coach.  For over a year now I've changed what I've been eating and have lost about 30 pounds of body fat.  Mostly by eating more fat and less carbage.  I say carbage because not all carbs are bad for you, but all carbs can keep you from losing body fat.  Over the past year, I've helped or provided inspiration and encouragement to several people who've collectively lost well over a TON of weight.  Literally.  I'll never get tired of hearing success stories.  They come almost everyday now.  Including one recently who's just reversed all markers for type 2 diabetes.

I thought this course was going to be a breeze and I'd simply be adding "certified" to what I already know.  Wrong.  It's fairly challenging.  There are parts of the course that teach about genes, the history of human kind, evolution of our species and lots of other things too.  It really got me thinking about what happened 20,000 thousand years ago when someone sick.  They most likely died.  That was part of life.  Death.  I think we don't really give to much thought about that today.  Death is something we don't have to worry about till someone gets old. And when someone dies young we are all in shock.

We are God.  A few years ago when we were considering IVF (look it up if you don't know), I made the statement that it seems as though it's like playing God and I wasn't comfortable with that.  If God wanted us to have kids, we'd be able to have kids naturally.  Looking back on that, what an asinine statement that was.  What do we do when we get a headache?  Take Tylenol.  What do we do what we break a bone?  Get a cast put on.  What do we do when we get cancer?  Seek treatment.  We have the advantages in todays civilized world to treat whatever ailments fall upon us.  Isn't that also playing God?  Or was the creation of all these advancements to heal our bodies by design from God?

But throughout human history, death was a part of everyday life.  Like headaches and colds are today.  That was normal.  We weren't supposed to survive.  And that's how we thrived.  Only those with  the right genetic makeup survived to reproduction age.  And those genes were passed down.  It took hundreds of thousands of years for those with strong genes to flourish.   The human race would migrate to a new area.   Some people just couldn't survive there.  But some could.  And those genes would carry on.

But today, we don't have the selection pressure.  We live in climate controlled houses.  We buy food from grocery stores.  We drive to work.  In fact, the main reason you work is to make money to buy your food and shelter instead of working and creating it for yourself.  You pay for someone else to provide it for you.  This leads to society.  Economy.  Community.  We are Gods, creating our environment.  All the while living an artificial life.

An artificial life?  Yeah.  Most of us should be dead already.  But because of these advancements in technology and medicine we've been able to stay alive long after the natural world says we should.  In some ways this can be good, in other ways I don't think it's so good.

Vaccines.  Many people get vaccinated so they don't get sick from diseases that otherwise would have killed them.  Like polio, measles, and smallpox.  This is great, it keeps people from contracting this disease and in many cases with minimal side effects.  Though some would argue what those side effects entail.

History is fascinating.  Take a look at this graph.  Grains were first discovered as use for food about 10,000 years ago.  This removed a lot of pressure to hunt and gather food.  Of course though, grains were much healthier at that time.  They aren't the genetically modified unhealthy grains from dwarf wheat that we have today.  All of the sudden when food was a plenty, advancement began.  And it's snowballed over the past few hundred years.  Can we sustain this advancement?  OR should we just stop and let it sit for awhile.

This is where I may get some weird looks if I haven't already.  For the most part, in the developed world, we are great at keeping people alive.  But why?  Just so they can die later anyway?  When I was 7 I broke my leg.  I should have died.  And that would have been fine if it was thousands of years ago.  I made a stupid decision and was jumping off of things I shouldn't have.  And the consequence of making a stupid decision would have been death.  I may have lived a little while, but the odds that I'd be able to survive would be bleak.   What's the point of staying alive just a little bit longer?  It used to be survival.  That was the point.  But we've got survival down pretty good.  Where are we going?

This isn't a natural world anymore.  Yes, everything comes from this world.  But that doesn't mean it should have happened.

We won't stop.  History won't stop.  This is a new world.  We are adapting.  But are we adapting fast enough?  We are the same human race.  Are we even designed to live in this new world?  Or are things like CRISPR going to change the human race?

So there you have it.  That's what's been in my head.  At least a small portion of my head.  Till another thought evolves.

You Are More....

And so am I.  I am more than the clothes I wear and the shoes on my feet.  Or as my daughter would say, the "not shoes" on my feet.

I was at a local establishment this morning, one that I frequent almost daily.  Usually for a coffee refill but sometimes to get an omelet for the kids.  As I was walking in, a customer was walking out and said to another person in the store, "Hey look, it's the barefoot guy!"  It wasn't in any type of negative way, just acknowledging my presence to others around.  She made no attempt to actually engage me.  That's when I politely said, "I also have a name, it's Jon."

It makes me wonder.  How many times has she noticed me?  How often am I talked about and referred to as simply, the barefoot guy?  Was she even going to say hi to me or am I just some object that walks around for people to comment on?  Because, this isn't the first time something like this happened.

I took my shoes off in the spring of 2013 and didn't put them back on until the spring of 2015.  Aside from a few moments in the bitter cold winters or an extended period of time in the snow.  Two reasons I put them back on.  Running 20-40 miles a week was too much for the condition of my feet. And I was sick of being known as the barefoot guy.  Anywhere I went, just about everyone I knew only ever acknowledged what was on or off my feet.  It got really annoying.  I am more than that.  There is more to me than what's on my feet.  I'm sorry that that's what you only see.

I also got sick of the problems in certain stores.  I didn't want to argue.  Even though I knew all the legalities and insurance regulations and it was perfectly legal to not wear shoes.  I hated to argue.  If you want to read about that stuff...it's about 415 blogs ago.  Seriously, back in 2013...if you are interested.

So in 2015 I just decide to where whatever I wanted on my feet.  Or not.  Sometimes I'll wear shoes, other times sandals and other times nothing.  It's been fantastic.  And yet...two years later, people still comment.  STILL!  And I don't think ever remember anyone ever really asking "why" with an intent to understand.  Ok...maybe one person.

Anyway...back to this morning.  Talking about me without actually talking to me has never made me feel more like an object.  It was really eye opening.  And it made me be more aware of the many people I encounter on a daily basis.  Even the employees at certain store, they are more than the cashier.  They are more than their job.  They have a story, they have a family.  Stop and ask about it sometime.

Don't create a character out of someone.

Often times you can't see the heart from the outside.  You have to dig a little deeper.

You Better Win

Gonna get my thoughts out now on the 2017 finals.  It's no surprise it's the Cavaliers and Warriors.  The Warriors are an incredible force.  They are an offensive machine.  Defensively they can hold their own as well.

In 2015 the Cavs and Warriors faced off in the finals.  Undoubtedly, the Warriors won while the Cavs were missing Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love.

In 2016 the Cavs made history.  The first team to ever come back from a 3-1 deficit.  Warriors fans argue it is partly due to Draymond Green being suspended for game 5.  Last I checked there were 7 games in a series, not one.   But lets remember, the Warriors were a 73 win team last year.  73 WINS!  They only had 9 losses during the entire season.  They also had 9 losses in the playoffs.  4 coming from the Cavaliers.   They were the best team in the NBA last year according to the regular season record.  They themselves even overcame a 3-1 deficit against the Thunder with Durant and Westbrook.

Enter 2017, as well as Kevin Durant, Zaza Pachulia and David West as well as a few others to the Warriors roster.  The Cavaliers made extremely minor additions.

Here we are, Game one is over.  The Cavs beat themselves.  The turnovers were ridiculous.  The Warriors were offensive machines and took full advantage.  The game play was physical.  Kevin Durant looks like he was made for the Finals.  But remember, this Cavs team was down 3-1 before.  One loss isn't anything to be afraid of.  

This is the same Cavalier team that overcame a 3-1 deficit last year.  This is NOT the same Warriors team.  This is a 73 win Warriors team that ADDED an 8x all star and 2014 MVP to their team.  They built their team to win a championship.  That's what all teams do, right?

Let me repeat that.  A 73 win western conference champion ADDED Kevin Durant to their roster.

They don't want to lose again.  Well, they've pretty much set themselves up to not lose again.  What they also did was make it so that the only people that care if they win a championship will be Warriors fans.  This year, 2017, the Cavs have nothing to lose.  They've proved that their 2016 team has done something no other team has done.  And they did it as a TEAM.   Lebron James didn't play for a 73 win Miami team.  He didn't come back to play for a 73 win Cleveland team.  Please don't compare James and Durant in that regard.

Durant signed with the 73 win team that came from from a 3-1 deficit against his former team.  Good for him.  He was criticized about that decision.

Here's my feelings.  The Warriors have an amazing team.  But even if you win this year....that's because you built the best team.  You signed an MVP to your 73 win team.  You've given yourself no other option but to win a championship.  Which I guess is what you are supposed to do.

NOBODY expects you to lose, so your win is nothing special.  Especially when you have to build that team like that to beat a "weak" eastern conference as you call it.

It's Your Hormones, Doing Hormonal Things.

You've heard the expression, "you can't have your cake and eat it too".   It doesn't really make sense at first.  You can't have your cake and eat it too.  In other words, if you eat the cake it will disappear and you will no longer have it.  You can hold onto the cake, not eat it, and you will have it.  You can't eat it AND have it.   For the sake of this blog, I'm going to pretend that the "it" in this scenario is weight loss.   You can't have your cake and have weight loss too.  But you can have lots of other delicious foods.

I'm been a yo yo dieter for much of my adult life.  When I hit 23, I started gaining weight like crazy.  I was up to 211 about a year into my marriage.   I'm guessing I was around 160 a few years prior, though I didn't own a scale.  So in the summer of 2007 some friends and I decided to do a weight loss challenge.  I started at 211 (with the help of a gallon of water to pad my stats) and finished 3 months later at 176.   It was 3 months of torture.  Exercise everyday and severe calorie restriction.  I didn't really know what I was doing.  Well, over the next months/years it all came back.  Because who can really sustain that lifestyle?  And we shouldn't have to work out everyday just to stay at a reasonable weight. Let alone the fact that chronic exercise can be just as unhealthy as a bad diet.

You simply can't out-exercise a bad diet.

Like I mentioned before, over the next few years my weight crept back up to the 210's, then I'd restrict calories and exercise.  I'd lose about 15 pounds and be satisfied.  But then it would come back.    I've probably gained and lost over 100 pounds over the past 10 years or so.  I got really good at losing the weight I gained.  But it just wasn't right.

So many people find themselves in this pattern.  Some give up and have accepted being overweight.  Some still go back and forth eating and exercising.  But it's not about the "weight".  It's about how you feel and are you healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Weight gain is a sign that something in your life is out of balance.

I would venture to guess that when most people want to lose weight they choose to exercise.  I have a hunch that their mindset goes something like this....."I'm getting fat, I should lose weight.  I need to stop eating so much junk.  I can't.  I love food.  But I can exercise. I used to be athletic so this should be easy.  And as long as I burn more calories than I consume, I'll lose weight.  So exercise it is."

I'm telling you now, this doesn't work.  It may work for you in the short term, but it's not sustainable.  The "cake" that you want is weight loss and you can't have weight loss and eat cake too.  Even if you exercise, it's not practical.  Case in point,  two years ago over the course of about 5 months I ran 6 marathons, 15+ half marathons and about 30 other runs of 5k or more.   I didn't massively over eat during that time frame either.  I didn't lose a pound.   You'd think averaging about 40-50 miles a week I'd have lost weight.  Wrong.  Our brains and bodies are smart.  It sensed a pattern.  I was running almost every day or every other day.  It knew I was using energy so anything I ate, it stored.  It needed every bit of energy I could give it.  I was stuck in a storage/depletion cycle, never actually getting to all the long term fat storage.

Here's the big secret. 

Weight loss is 80% diet.  But it's not just about eating chicken salads, kale, fruit and yogurt.  Anything but.  It's about finding out what type of foods you need to be eating and how those foods interact with your hormones.   When you eat a high carbohydrate diet, that equates to a high insulin producing diet.  Insulin is the hormone that transports glucose from your blood stream and uses it for energy or stores it as glycogen in your muscles and liver.   If your glycogen stores are full, glucose is converted and stored in your fat cells...thus making you, well......fat.   NEWSFLASH.  Fat doesn't make you fat.  Consistently eating  a high carbohydrate diet or snacking every few hours of a with carbohydrate filled snacks,  keeps you in storage mode.  You'd have to exercise an awful lot to keep a balance...and even if you could do that it can lead to insulin resistance.

But I have good news.  What if I said you can have your bacon and have weight loss too?  See, a low carbohydrate diet (100g or less of carbs from healthy sources like leafy green veggies, OCCASIONAL fruit and nuts) will keep you in a low insulin producing diet and engage glucagon.  Glucagon is the retrieval hormone.  It senses the blood sugar is a little low and will stimulate the liver to break down glycogen and release glucose into the blood stream as well as break down stored fat (triglycerides) to use as fuel for cells.   If you go really low carb (50g or less though some will say 20 to be sure) and you'll go into ketosis and burn some serious fat.  Your body will produce ketones for fuel.   In addition to ketones, your body will thrive off your stored fat being used for fuel, as well as exogenous fat from healthy oils like olive and coconut (NOT seed oils like soybean, canola or vegetable oil: these are very inflammatory and your body will not thrive), Avocados, nut butter, grass fed butter, ghee, nuts, cheese, heavy cream....OH and did I mention BACON and EGGS?

And yes.  If you don't eat meat, you can still cut out pasta, bread, sugars, excess fruit consumption, grains, corn and other starches, and add in healthy fats in addition to your leafy greans, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, and cabbage.  This will take a little extra planning to assure proper protein requirements are met, but still possible.  Remember, there are only two essential macronutrients, protein and fat.  There is no such thing as an essential carbohydrate.  That doesn't mean they don't have their place, they just aren't essential as many people suggest.

The even better news.  You don't need to buy some magic weight loss energy product either.  The foods you can enjoy on a low carb/ketogenic/primal diet are incredible.  Not cheap low fat cardboard rice cakes or dried out chicken breast.  Primal isn't a fad.  We've been doing it for tens of thousands of years.

Don't take my word for it.  I challenge you to try it for yourself.  You don't have to exercise to lose weight.  Let me help you do it.  Prove it to yourself.   Exercise for fun, not for weight loss.

Putting myself out there on this one.  This is 5 months of diet. 

A year ago I started a Ketogenic way of eating and lost a little over 30 pounds in about 2 months.  I've kept it off for over two years now with absolutely no problems.   I've never been able to maintain a great weight for myself for this long in my adult life.  I'm 6'1" and 190.   I've also started a support group on Facebook and the small group of friends and friends of friends has collectively lost well over 4000 pounds.

 I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is.  If you are serious about losing weight, I'll meet with you and discuss a plan.  If you like it and are willing to commit to it, we can move forward.  I care about people and their health.  I wasted so much time and energy doing things the wrong way.

I am a certified primal health coach.  Health coaches are simply that.  A coach to help you navigate weight loss and healthy lifestyle practices like minimizing stress.   I won't even charge you anything, though I do have limited space.  I just want to see people take control of their health.

And once you get things all figured out, you'll be able to eat that piece of cake if you want to.  And you'll know exactly what that cake is doing in your body!  Might make you think twice.....

Meat. Don't be a hater.

I understand if you don't want to eat meat.  I really do.  The way that much of the meat sold in America is raised is sick and inhumane.  It's disgusting.  It's unethical.  It's abuse.  I don't like it at all.

But I'm still going to eat meat.

Not all farms operate that way.  That's why I make more of an effort to support local farms that have ethical farming practices.  It's not always feasible, but we try.

You might have heard lots of lies about meat and how bad it is for you.  You probably heard this from a plant based diet promoting source.   Most of them are not true.  They tell you that we weren't designed to eat meat.  Explain that to your incisors.  Seriously.   The proof is in your mouth.   Now...the amount of meat....yes.  The amounts of meat people eat is way to much.

Back to the common ground.  You don't want the unethical treatment of animals.  Me neither.  Avoiding meat won't solve that.  Just like banning abortions won't stop abortions.   Lets all push for more safe and ethical meat farming practices.  Lets not eat meat for the sake of eating meat whether we need it or not.

Speaking of the ethical treatment of animals.  Did you know plants have defense mechanisms to keep them alive?  Lectins are natural phytochemical toxins that plants manufacture to defend against UV radiation, insect predators, and disease-producing microorganisms. These agents, critical to a plant's survival, are found in highest concentrations in the seeds of the plants.  This is why we don't eat seeds.  Regardless, plants want to survive.  But we kill them to eat them.

What about soil degradation?  The amount of soybean, corn, and wheat fields are destroying the earth.  Literally.  Chemicals and poor farming practices are killing off millions of microorganisms.  Deforestation happens and the ground loses it's ability to store carbon.  Yes.  Global warming is a thing.

See...you have to replace meat with something.  And many don't care what they replace it with.  Anything but meat.  Sugar, processed foods, corn, wheat, soy.....as long as it's not meat.  And doing this is no better for our earth.   If you are eating corn, wheat, and soy you are contributing just as much to poor environment as the mcfarmers are that are using it to feed their livestock.  Look at your ingredients.

Going vegan or vegetarian is often times not enough.  Motives are everything.  If you think you are somehow saving the planet by not eating meat, you are wrong.  Factory farmed plants can have just as much a negative impact.

My point, I think if we all focus less on what is the "right" way to eat.  We all know the right way is the "real" way.  Grains....only been around for 10,000 years.  And grains are the reason we are in this mass mcfarming predicament.  Grains don't count for real food in my opinion.  Sorry.

Get to know your food before you eat it.  Visit local farms.  Learn where your food comes from and how it is raised.  You don't have to eat meat, but you do need to understand that we are made to eat meat.  And meat is not the enemy.

he said it.  not me.  and I don't agree.  I can do without stinky cheese.  oh...
vegetarians are fine, as long as they are ok with people that eat meat that also care about the earth.