Daily Dose 2

Today I learned pretty quickly that day two of any habit is difficult.  The bed was so warm and inviting.  But after you are awake for a few minutes, you are glad you did.  Action always precedes motivation.  Yet I still was struggling thinking about what I was going to write about.   I learned quickly that I don't need to know.  I just need to come down here and unleash the 9 fluttering fingers I  have.  I rarely used my left thumb when typing.

Three things on my mind today.  First, we went to a gracious parenting class last night.  The first session is learning how to deal with our anger and next week will be learning how to deal with our childs anger.  It was helpful.  I won't go to far down this road today.  But I will say it was nice to sit in a room with a lot of other people that also feel like they are a shitty parent at times too.  There are more of us out there, don't think you are alone.  There is no perfect parent.

Second.  A few weeks ago a pastor who I do not know personally posted a video online.     I'll sum up what he said for you...."blah blah blah, I'm making christianity look hateful and I'm a giant asshole".  Well, a friend of mine shared it but didn't post any thoughts on it.  I was taken aback by this.  This was atypical of them.  I thought maybe their account got hacked.  But no.  I almost said something but didn't.  I waited.  Because even in my recent deconstruction of christianity this is one of those friends, along with their family, who demonstrated the kind of care and compassion that I saw Jesus represent.  Sure enough though, after a week or two, their was an apology for sharing that video. I was glad to see this.

You know what I 

just thought of though?  

Some of the things 

I say sound like 

I'm a big asshole too.    

Thirdly.  If I'm going to writing every day, I don't need to make this very long.  One of the things I want to do every day is share something about myself that most people don't know about me.  I am very good at protecting myself.  So good that I don't realize that when I protect myself I hurt others way to much.  Not physically.  Emotionally.  This is something I picked up a long time ago out of necessity.  This happens when you had an alcoholic father.  (see what I did there?)  Immediately without thinking about it I gave an excuse for my behavior.  But I have no need to continue this defense mechanism.  I need to own how I act and how I respond to adversity.