The next....?

Have you ever heard someone respond to seeing a young child show potential in an activity and say something like "Wow, he'll be the next Tom Brady!"  Or "She'll be the next "Mia Hamm!"   You know what I mean.  It happens without us even knowing we do it.  I know all of these are innocent.  They are expressions we have heard for years.  I'm not claiming that these phrases are hurtful.  And I'm certainly not upset at anyone who uses phrases like this.  The purpose of me writing this is simply to ask to think about it from another perspective.  

I think it's ok to push the next generation to excel.  I think it's ok to set goals.  It think it's ok for kids to pretend to be their favorite athlete.  As long as you don't do that along with them.  They need to know that you love and value them at any level of talent they are at.  If I had the chance to go play basketball with Steph Curry or Logan and Austin, I'd pick Logan and Austin every time.  Unless there is an opportunity to bring them along.  

When you see talent, engage the one that's talented.  Ask about how long they've been performing.  Ask what their favorite part of the activity is.  Ask them who their role model is.  Ask them where they get their motivation from.  And maybe you already do those things.  But be careful of comparing them to someone who is at a level way beyond where they are.  Meet them at the level that they are at and encourage them forward from that point.  As themselves.  About being the next Anne Caroline or the next Josiah Daniel.  And that whatever level of achievement they get to, they've made a name for themselves and aren't still comparing their level of success to the person that you compared them too. 

And at this point....I've pretty much wrapped up.  But I'll play out a real life scenario here. 

You and your son play football and he's a really good quarterback. So good that when you play you name call him Peyton, Tom, Russell, Aaron or Cam.  They know how good these players are.  And then your son doesn't make the 9th grade football team.  Or his pee-wee team for that matter.  He begins to notice the other players have more talent.  And that he's not actually as good as his favorite athletes.  And then they feel like they disappointed you.  And you have to assure them that you are not.  IF you even get the chance to.  Perhaps if you'd have just celebrated the small victories, the good passes, his willingness to improve even when he doesn't feel like it.  That when he doesn't make the team, he tries again.  Or he tries out for another position.  

 If you think that this stuff doesn't happen in your brain, I'd encourage you to watch the movie "Inside Out".  It will help you understand how emotions work and that they are VERY complex.  Even the littlest things can stick with you forever.  

I'll never forget my neighbors Uncle Dale telling me I was tall and would make a great receiver for the high school football team.  But at that point....it was too late.  But I still think I'm the best damn wide receiver that ever played the game of football thanks to him telling me, ME, that I would make a great receiver.  He didn't tell me I'd be the next Jerry Rice, so glad he didn't.  

I hope this makes sense.  I feel like that's why it got so long.  I wanted to make sure I nailed it.  Someone once said I'm going to be the next Steinbeck.  Kidding.