I'm humble in my modesty

I don't know why I continue to feel like I have to write everyday.  But I do.  So I write.  I was reading through a discussion on Facebook about modesty.  I don't think clothing was mentioned once.  It wasn't the topic on the forefront.  It was more about people saying they aren't that good at something even though their skills far outmatch another in the field.  One was arguing that this is being pridefully dishonest.

While they may be right in their assessment, I don't think it's fair to judge someone who you think is modest.  Maybe they are a bit prideful.  But maybe they really don't think they are any better than the next guy.  Maybe something in their mind is keeping them from seeing how great they really are.  Maybe they have a hard time believing that they are actually good at something.

Never stop discovering yourself and how you think.  Never be afraid to recognize your flaws and when you are wrong.  It's ok.  Be afraid of never changing.  This is sometimes hard for me.  When you don't have a real solid foundation, things are a little shaky.  When you believe something and that belief gets rocked, it's like an earthquake.   But then when everything settles you get used to the new normal.  You start thinking this must be the right way to believe.  And then another earthquake happens.  I would hope that one day I get used to these metaphorical earthquakes.  

Back to this modesty thing.  I've been painting for nearly 15 years or more.  I've been told I'm good at it.  But in my mind, I'm still not that good.  I just know what I'm doing.  I guess you could say I'm modest.  I know there are painters better than me.  I also know I'm better than the average joe.  Maybe it's because no one ever taught me how to be the best at anything.  

It wasn't until last year that I realized that I had a talent that was fiscally worth something.  I was just finishing up a short 3 day job and I handed the bill to the customer.  She overpaid me by $300.  And we're talking a short 3 day job.  She told me that what she paid me represents the market value for the service that I provided.  I wasn't going to argue.  And since then it's gotten easier to charge that amount.  I want to be fair, right?  But it's still not easy.  Because I don't consider myself to be anything special.  I'm just a guy that knows how to paint.  But I do know I'm fast.  I don't mess around.  I don't take breaks.  And I'm honest.  You can trust me in your house.  I also offer a plethora of thoughts and information if you choose to pick my brain.  

I don't think I'm a good writer.  But I am good at writing everyday.  

I don't think I'm a good runner.  But I am good at running everyday.  

Maybe I just do things I know I'm good at.  Maybe I'm afraid to take a chance at something I might fail at.  I don't know if I know how to fail.  Or maybe I don't even know what failure is.  

That's all for now.  These are conversations and thoughts that could go on forever.