Words have Power

Ok...that first blog today.  That was weak.  That was a stretch.  That was content filler.  I accidentally overslept by half hour and it threw me off.

But I came back.  And here is the more important one.

Lets talk about the old phrase, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me".

I'll start the conversation and say that this is the most fucked up bullshit phrase that adults have ever taught kids.

Why? Lets start with the bible. God SPOKE us into existence. Words can destroy a spirit and incite hatred and violence. The very words of Jesus say in Matthew that by you WORDS you will be acquitted or condemned. Paul wrote to the Ephesians to not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. Instead encourage one another. He goes onto say to let your conversations be full of
grace.

In a dream world, it would be nice if words could just flow right past us and not have any effect. But that's not reality. No matter how much you deny it, words have an effect on you. Both good and bad. I
promise you that.

You don't get the right to choose what hurts another person. Even if you intent is not to hurt, if someone is hurt by your words or actions, the kind and grace filled response is to take a step back and acknowledge that hurt. Doing this doesn't mean that you are wrong in what you said. But by telling them to suck it up and that what you said shouldn't hurt them, isn't really going to help the situation much. I can promise you that too. Because so far after ten years of marriage, it hasn't helped my wife when I unintentionally said something that hurt her. Even if my mind won't even allow me to understand how what I said hurt her.

Words are tough. Emotions are tough. Everyone comes from a different place. Hurting people hurt people. It's true. But usually they don't know they are hurting people because they don't even know they are hurt themselves.

See....in my mind. Sticks and stones are great. I love sticks and stones. You can punch me, kick me, hit me, throw things at me or beat me up and I'll take that all day. I'm one tough son of a bitch. Don't fuck with me physically or I will destroy you. Sticks and stones don't have a chance. I dream about being physically mutilated and living through it. I dream about getting shot multiple times and still emerging as the hero. But fuck, if you attack my mental emotions or heart strings, I collapse. If someone ever put their hand up and excluded me or walked away from a relationship I thought was valuable and of mutual importance, it would inflict some serious pain.

Enough for me to question my whole identity.

They wouldn't even have to touch me.

And that is one of my biggest fears.  Abandonment.

360 days of writing later....and it's today that I learn something like this.  Totally unplanned.  Don't ever tell me words don't have importance.