The Thunder Rolls and Gorillas are more important

Last night, the Oklahoma City Thunder rolled right over onto their bellies and let the Golden State Warriors finish their 3 game to 1 comeback in the western conference finals.  I was rooting for the thunder, there's something about the warriors that I don't like.   I don't like Steph Curry or Draymond Green.  I don't like Curry simply because he can't keep his mouthguard in his mouth and he smiles to much.  I know, a poor reason.  I just have this gut feeling that that says root for someone else.  And Green is just a dirty player.   I'm a Lebron fan, so I'm pulling for cavs to win it all.  But the warriors know how to win basketball games.

And then there is the Harambe gorilla that got shot a few days ago at a cincinnati zoo.  A three year old noticed his mothers eyes weren't looking for about half a second and took that moment to sprint into the gorilla enclosure.  That's what three year olds do, and they really are that fast.  If you don't believe me, you don't have kids.  It could happen to anyone.   Danger is only ever seconds away, it doesn't matter where you are.  Anyway, zoo officials made the call to shoot Harambe.  Tranq darts would only piss it off and could have caused it to lash out and hurt the boy.  Apparently the gorilla was already seemingly harming the boy.  But it also seemed to be treated the boy as it's own.

I feel bad for the gorilla, the boy and the family.  But I think shooting the gorilla was the right call, though very sad and unfortunate.

I'm going to take this time to remind everyone that hundreds of children a year are shot.  Accidentely.  Avoidable.  Totally unnecessarily.  They are shot by other children, mostly toddlers who find loaded guns.  That's not counting all the ones that shoot themselves or other adults.  Yet I've seen probably 2500% more talk about the gorilla being shot than any of these children.  WAKE THE FUCK UP AMERICA.  You 'd rather stay asleep on this fact rather than speak up and risk more regulations and gun control.  I'm not advocating getting rid of your right to own a gun.  I am advocating to make it more and more difficult for idiots to own them.  And if you are a responsible gun owner, you better do the same.  Because if you don't speak up and keeping guns out of idiots hands, you will end up losing  yours in the process.  So what if you have to do some extra paperwork and background checks.  You know who else has more paperwork to do now?  Police and morgues.  Filling out forms for all these dead toddlers who found a loaded gun.

Oh.  I'm a gun owner and in the market for another one right now.  Just in case you were wondering.

Speaking the Truth in Love

Back in the days I would call myself a Christian I would hear people say they need to speak the truth in love.  This was code for, because I love you I will tell you that you are sinning.  Even if you don't go to church or believe in Christianity. It rarely was a word of encouragement that was spoken in truth.

Like, you as you are, are enough.  Just the way you are, I love you.  Nothing you do or say will change the way I feel about you.  This is what I would imagine God would say.

However, if you are actively involved in an addiction that is wreaking havoc on your life and the lives of others I imagine the conversation to go just a little bit different.  But still along the lines of a loving father caring so much for his child that all he wants is for healing.  And may even love to much and not push enough for recovery.  (As an aside, if you are an addict, I've heard first hand that AA and Celebrate Recovery work wonders.  You just have to go.)

So many times I see and hear christians wanted to correct gay people by telling them it's against God's plan for their life.  That it's not the way God intended them and they could live such a more full life.  And they do this "speaking truth in love".  I call bullshit on that.  In love of course.

Sometimes I hold back a little bit on how I feel about God.  If someone believes, great.  Because,

I can't prove or disprove God.  I can for myself decide if I want to believe or not.  And more often than not I don't.  I may be wrong.  I may be right.

I'd love if there was a God.  A loving God.  But I'm not going to bet on God's existence.  And no, I can't explain how the earth came to be.  I don't really care.  I don't really care about the intricacies of life.  It's pretty fuckin awesome.  That's all I care about.   Childbirth is cool.  How a mother cares for the child is incredibly fascinating.

So...my message out of love to all God people.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

My message out of love to all not God people.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

I know I need to do a better job of it, but maybe next time we find ourselves needing to speak the truth to someone in love we should make sure we have a long standing relationship with that person.  If we don't, we should speak the truth in love about something they are good at.  Something that makes them special.  Use your truth in love to encourage someone and build someone up.

I remember a sign in the barber shop I grew up getting my haircut at.  Lord, if I can't say something nice to someone, help me keep my big mouth shut.

And just so everyone knows...when I speak of my issues with Christianity I'm not thinking of any one church or person specifically.  It's typically the body that I see represented to most within my field of vision.  And right now, I see many more people that were hurt by the church and are afraid to speak out about for fear of what their friends and family might think.

Flags and Showers.

Does anyone else use the "On this Day" app on facebook?  It's very interesting.  I find myself wanted to resurrect old status updates by commenting on them.  Last year I had written about how I was going to do more natural things.  Less stuff because society tells you that you need it.  Like shoes.  We don't need them as much as we think we do.  I went a good 2 years without wearing any.  But I got sick of all the harassment.  Why can't people mind their own damn business?  I don't fight that fight anymore, I'll just throw on flip flops because I'm sick of arguing with idiots about the legalities of being barefoot.  I also posted something about not using soap anymore.  At least not in the shower. washing hands and stuff is fine.  And I can say that over the past  3 or so years, I still haven't used body wash in the shower.   Only shampoo for my gorgeous locks.  And I use some of that in some other "areas".  

I also posted about the American Flag.  There was a lot of buzz about some people setting it a blaze and trampling on it.  I had some good conversation going about that with some people.  Many weren't to happy about someone practicing their right to freedom of speech.  They were more concerned about the flag then they were about why people were doing that.  Defacing the flag gets attention.  And when no ones listens to your peaceful talk, you do what gets attention.  And then people get mad at you for throwing a fit.  This happens in our own households.  You try and try and try to remain peaceful and when it still doesn't work you yell.  Or you throw or hit something.  

So many other people disrespect the american flag innocently, which I think is worse.  They hang them from bridges, from trees, in their front yard and even on their car.  Only to be tattered and torn by the weather and elements.  In the rain and at night with no light.  What's worse, those that don't have a clue proper flag etiquette, or forcing citizens to resort to burning a flag to get their message of injustice out? 

Lots of people fought and died for your freedom to be an asshole or the nicest person ever.  I wonder if all those we mourn this weekend would be happy that The Donald is our republican presidential candidate.  

In my opinion, if you care about this country.  You will value people over objects.  Instead, many people treat objects as people. And people as objects.   

Yard Sales

I'm sitting outside this morning after hustling to set up my impromptu yard sale.   My neighbors are having one, so I figured I'd mooch of their signs they placed out on the main road.  I did already sell my loading ramps so I guess it's not a total loss.   And it was to my other neighbor so if I ever need to borrow my loading ramps again, I know who to ask.

And that reminds me of this important lesson on yard sales that I want to present to you today.

I'm just kidding.  I couldn't really think of anything.  But give me a few minutes and I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Lets explore what happens with yard sales.  A household decides that they have way to much stuff so they start to search through all the items they have and try to decide what they could sell versus what they should just throw away.  In the process they (and maybe their kids) find all of these cool things that they forgot they had and fall in love with said item and decide not to sell it.  Or they have to decide to sell the old thing or the new thing they just bought that doesn't have the charms as the old item they just found.  Once the pile is made, they have to decide the date on which to have the sale.

Wait, yard sales on friday and saturday mornings?  Forget that idea.  Lets just put everything in the basement corner.

In 75 years, people won't be excited about barn finds anymore.  It's all about the basement find.

Enjoy your saturday.  If you are in south central pa, summer is upon us.  It went from 40 degrees on monday and now it's 90.  How great is that?  Those two days of spring were wonderful.

Keto is Neato

Thought I'd share a bit how the new diet is going.  Some of you that know me are wondering why in the world I'd need to go on a diet.  My body is a chiseled piece of art.  Some accidentally call me David.  I hate to burst your bubble, but according to my scale, I had about 54 pounds of body fat. Just over 25%.  I'm glad I have an overall positive body image.  That can be a very difficult lie we tell ourselves.  But it is important that we think we look and feel good and healthy.  What others think? Whatever.

I started a Ketogenic diet.  Before I begin, I'm not an expert by any means.  So if someone who is on the ketogenic diet please step in and correct any mistakes I made.    I'm eating a 2000 calorie a day diet, 160g of fat (max), 120g or protein (goal), and a max of 20g of net carbs (carbs - dietary fiber).  The first few days were kinda rough.

Here's what happens.  I think.  Our bodies run off of carbs.  Because that is what we usually eat.  The body breaks down the carbs into glucose and stores it in the muscles and liver.  If we eat so many carbs and don't use them as fuel (which is most people) the carbs turn to fat stores.   This fat rarely gets used as fuel, because we eat carbs again and use that fuel first.  And the process continues.  I heard something like our bodies will store enough glucose from carbs that will get us to about mile 20 in a marathon.  And then there is a crash.  That's why it's called the wall at mile 20.  I can attest that there is most certainly a wall.  But I knocked that mother fucker down.  (you may  be upset that i said that word, I understand.  But if you've ever met that wall at mile 20, you'd be calling it that too).

This is why as a society fat = bad.  Fat is not bad.  Unless you eat 6 slices of bacon, eggs, pancakes and a muffin for breakfast.  Carbs AND Fat do not mix well.  The fat goes immediately to storage as the carbs get burnt first.

So what is Ketogenic?  Starve the carbs.  That's right.  Don't eat carbs.  Eat fat and protein.  It takes 3-6 days to put your body in the fat burning mode. This might not feel good for you, some people get what feels like the flu, it's what the call the keto flu.  My body is awesome, I only got a short headache.  Don't hate.  Now your body is in Ketosis.  Fat burning mode.  There is a ridiculous amount of information out there on this.  I am only doing that I know at this point.

I've lost over 15 pounds in just about 3 weeks.  I don't feel bloated or swollen.  Most of the foods you eat that are carb loaded are pro-inflammatory foods.  So your body treats it that way and sends water to the source of inflammation.  On the keto diet, there is extremely reduced inflammation so there is no need to store the excess water.  Because  you aren't nearly as inflamed or bloated.  The cravings go away after a few weeks.  You aren't hungry, your body is eating itself.  So when someone offers you a sandwhich, it's only a mental battle to say no.  Not a physical one.   So what do I eat?  Bacon, Eggs, Fish, Chicken, Beef, Pork, Cheese, Almonds, Coconut, Mayonaisse, Coconut Oil, Brocolli, Asparagus, Avocado, Coffee with heavy cream, Stevia (if you want sweetener, I don't like it).  I've no shortage of foods.  Basically, real food.

Don't take my word for it.  I feel great.  There are some minor side effects that are different for everyone.  But none that can't be accomodated for that I've found.

Again, I'm no expert.  I'm only speaking on what I've learned so far.  Just like you do every time you speak too.  But there are lots of diets out there.  Find one that works for you so you don't get fat and die.

If you have any questions, I'll refer you to the internet.

#GiveJesusaboyfriend

This has nothing to do with Jesus getting a boyfriend.  But apparently people like reading about that stuff.  

Did you ever stop and think what normal is?  Or what makes something normal?  Nothing is normal.  No matter how much you try, you will never be normal.  And that's ok.  Because no one likes normal.  Being normal sucks.

Normal and happy aren't the same thing.  Did you ever stop and think what being happy is? Did you ever stop and think what makes other people happy and joyful?

I love watching my kids get excited about stuff.  When my son caught his first fish yesterday.  He was so excited and happy.  And so was I, especially when he wanted to touch it.  They were only 3-4 inch sunfish, but he was so excited.  That makes me happy.  I'm happy for him.

But when did I forget how to be happy for me?

Maybe I'll never be.  

I am good at a lot of things.  But there is always someone better than me.  I've never been the best at anything.  This is where Joel Osteen would say that being the best me is enough.  I don't even know what the best me is.  

Maybe this is the best of me. 

That would really suck.  Maybe I am realizing that there is nothing that I can grasp that will fulfill me.  That it has to come from within.  To know who I am.  

This is really depressing.  But they are real thoughts.  

Maybe I need more adventure.  I've thought about lately.  That in todays world we have so many things so easily available to us we are lacking adventure.  But isn't marriage and raising children and adventure.  Yes.  It is.  Very much so.  Maybe I should embrace that adventure.  And do things I haven't done yet inside of that adventure.   Action always precedes motivation. 

One thing is for sure.  I am not weak.  (this is the point in my blog when I googled "becoming the best version of yourself"  and the meme attack just disgusted me).  

Little memes about overcoming not comparing yourself to others may help in the short term.  It's like a drug that gets you going.  For me, they only piss me off.  Because I know all that stuff.  I was in Amway once.  Knowing and implementation are two different things.  It's not even about transformation.  

It's about discovering.  

It's about turning over new rocks. 

It's about the next bend. 

Just keep going until the next bend.  Expect the best.  And don't be discouraged if it's not what you'd hoped for.  There's always another bend.  

Maybe this is the best of me.  

#GiveElsaaGirlfriend

#GiveElsaAGirlfriend, I saw this trending this morning.  I saw Captain America's profile on a gay dating site last night.  It's still a bit odd to me.  I'm going to try to work through my thoughts here.  Actually...it's easy.  I don't really care.  Give them two girlfriends or boyfriends.

One thought had occurred to me though.  Who are the primary viewers of Frozen?  Girls aged 2-10.  Should they be influenced by the movie they watch twice a day to be attracted to the same sex?  Oh wait...should girls 2-10 be influenced to choose a man for a mate either?  They already are.  Should the be influenced to lose your temper and freeze an entire city and run away?  They are.  Should they be influenced to shoot their sister with a magic ice missile nearly killing her and then sending your snow monster to chase them off a cliff nearly killing Olaf?  They already are.  But where is your complaint with that?

Do you ever stop and see how much parents and society is influencing on their children without even realizing it.  We brainwash them.  It's nearly impossible for them to think for themselves.  Kids ask all the time, Why?  How do parents respond when their kids asks, "WHY?"  Ding ding, "BECAUSE", number one answer.  97 points.  

So give Elsa a girlfriend.  Give Captain America a boyfriend.  If you have a beef with this, you need to stop letting tv and movies raise your children.  I know lots of parents that let their kids watch cartoon violence on tv and are flipping a lid at this elsa thing.  Do you see your own hypocrisy?   If you are so concerned, you need to filter EVERYTHING you let them watch on tv.

You want to talk about an issue you should be concerned or aware off?  For every wife complaining about this issue, there is her husband, who secretly can't wait to see Elsa get a girlfriend.

I wonder how my wife feels about this issue.  I'm going to ask her when she wakes up. Our daughters reaction?  I'm sure it will be, "TWO FROZEN PRINCESS'S, YESSSSSSS!"

You Already Are

Today, I bring you the lyrics to the song "In His Name" by Tyson Motsenbocker.  It's the first song the album, Letters to Lost Loves.  I encourage you all to check it out.  The story of the album is very moving.  This song, speaks so much truth to what many people face and how many people are seeing this Jesus thing.  Especially that line towards the end...when one of his friends was claiming he prayed for Mavericks to make more shots, and they did.  And that was God helping them.  But where was God in his moms illness?

You were loudly living

On your final ninety pounds

Crosslegged on the south porch

With a bible in your hand

And when I prayed for healing

My father's words rang through the door

Son I don't think Jesus is in business

Of healing anymore

Well maybe he is occupied with other people's wars

Or he's organized militia to fight the war on Christmas

or maybe he's protecting our children from the gays

Who have promised to destroy this utopia we've made

In His name

In His name

In His name

The early fathers writing

To build a younger church up tall

Saying faith without the action isn't anything at all

I know perspective isn't static

Between what I see and what you do

But if you choose to stand by idly, then what does that make you?

Well I hear that you've been speaking through the man on the tv

And you've helped the Dallas Mavericks with their field goal percentage

So when my mother's doctor calls again with more bad news

It's an honest heart's reaction - who, my God, have you been listening to?

In His name

In His name

In His name

Honest hearts reaction.  That's kinda where I am.  I've been asking for God, if one such exists, to prove it.  And not in some I see God in the trees and the birds and every breath I take type way.  I want to experience something unlike any other that undoubtedly speaks to me of God's existence.  I'd even settle for a Holy Spirit moment.  But I'll be honest....I've experienced little moments every now and then that are so totally random to a point that keep me on the hook a bit longer.  But i'm only holding the hook in my mouth, it's not stuck in my cheek.  

I've heard many people talk about doing more.  About living out their faith more.  Something about this feeling that they aren't doing enough.  I had someone ask me the other day what more they could do to fight against injustice, like I do in my writing.  I never considered my writing as fighting any injustice.  I just sit at the computer and ramble about what's on my mind.  But I guess it is.  I guess it's making others aware of the things I hear.  If 100 people read this and each tell someone else who tell someone else...words spread.  It almost makes what I say in these things a little more important.  But the person that asked me what they could do, I can't answer that.  This person is already a good person.  They are already enough.  But doing more is easy...speak up.  When you see an injustice, speak up about it.  When you hear someone speak hate, don't be silent opening the door for others to think you consent with the hate.  This is why I suggest to the "good" christians out there you need to stop being silent if you don't like what how your faith is being represented.  Especially from talking heads in D.C.

I heard a sermon yesterday from a pastor who dreams and prays of revival to happen.  It was an honest plea.  But if I could be honest.  It's happening for you already.  A major church expansion and building, an acquisition of another facility, several other churches using your teachings, and new people arriving weekly.   Seems like a revival to me.  Unless promotions, buildings, locations, and numbers aren't really revivals.  Is not the revival of one lost soul enough?  

There is no Freedom to Dance

I saw a video this morning of some dancers in the Jefferson Memorial being aggressively arrested.   This was from 2011, nothing new.  Apparently a court order was released that said the the memorials were to be a place of contemplation and reflection. Quietly dancing is against the law.  And you will be arrested.  Because you can't reflect of the freedom in america while dancing silently with the one you love.  It is said they were a "performance" and a distraction to other visitors.  Well, I'm sorry you were distracted by two people celebrating Thomas Jefferson who happened to say things like, 

"Liberty then I would say that, in the whole plenitude of it’s extent, it is unobstructed action according to our will: but rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will, within the limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add ‘within the limits of the law’; because law is often but the tyrant’s will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual." 

I think that Jefferson would want americans to dance any damn place they want.  Except for maybe the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  That's crossing a line.  Seriously.  But that is where you are expected to be silent.  That is the place to mourn.  There is a respect there that I can't describe.  It's sacred.  

I'm sure there is much more psychology you could dissect about why the police responded the way they did that I don't have the knowledge to unpack.  I think their response to the protest could have gone much better.  Apparently their bosses think so too. Many of them either resigned or got fired.

How about a big sign that says, Be respectful of others and how they choose reflect. But please, be silent.

There is no standard of reflection.  Everyone mourns in different ways.

Anyway...Just some thoughts this morning.  I'm sure it could generate some discussion.  And actually reading some of Jefferson's quotes, it was enlightening.  And revealed how much I don't know history.  But I want to make some.

Time to Clean House

Interesting.  Not nearly as many people read about abortion and guns from yesterday as they did on the Jesus Industry.

This morning I find myself sorting our kids toys.  It sucks.  It's long overdue.  I am making a pile for a yard sale, a big trash bag for some and trying to decide which ones to stash in the crawlspace.  I know I got a little joy when I'd find toys from my younger days.  So I think all the Thomas tracks and trains will find a place down there.  This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I don't want my kids to decide what to keep, it would be everything. But every toy I think has seen it's last day or was not played with nearly enough without value to sell, I think as I am throwing it into the trash about the time my kids will ask about said toy.

When is the last time you cleaned house?  Got rid of all the junk that you don't need lying around?  Whether it's physical or emotional items, keeping things you don't need can be harmful to you.  Did you do something that hurt someone and they've since apologized but you can't forgive yourself?  Did someone apologize to you that hurt you but you still hold a grudge?  Are you regretting past decisions that have effected you negatively?  Let it go.  Control what you can control.  I've heard it said that worry is a prayer for things you don't want.  Makes sense.  If you dwell on the negative, you might as well just ask for it.

Unfortunately for some, all those emotions can be paired with mental illness.  Therapy is great.  Medication is great.  A change in diet and exercise is great.  All of these together make one wicked cocktail.   You aren't weak by getting help.  All the greats ask for help.

I'm going to go keep cleaning. It's liberating creating space for new enjoyable stuff.  If your space is filled to brim with negative old thoughts, you have no room for positive new ones.  Clean house.  Why do you think I write everyday?

Sensitivity at it's Finest

There are things I shouldn't write about because I have a limited scope of knowledge.  Good thing I don't always follow the rules.  However, this is a sensitive topic and I'm going to do my best to wade through the waters without much disruption.

First, let me say I used to be what you would call a right wing evangelical capitalism loving christian in my views towards lots of things.  I'm not saying they are all like that, I'm just saying that is what I was and these are the views that were being fed to me.  For starters, mental illness wasn't really a thing.  You should just watch a funny movie and be happy.  Gay is a sin.  A big one.  The biggest maybe.  And you need to go get conversion therapy.  Abortion is murder and an abomination.   You MUST VOTE republican.  No matter what.  Very strong views.  OH!!!!  And you can pry my guns out of my cold dead hands.

I'm not poking fun.  This was me.  Now, I believe mental illness is a thing.  And there are both natural remedies and medication.  Both are great.  I don't believe gay is a sin (of course, I don't really believe in "sin" either).  I don't think abortion is murder.  I think it is a very difficult and emotion situation in which people need less judgement and more love.  I still have guns and would love to add a .22 to the collection so I can kill the groundhogs in the back yard.  Although it would be fun to pick em off the .50 cal flintlock.

So it's safe to say some of my views have changed.  And I can be a little harder on the former views because I was one.  I held those aggressive views and now I know how much of an asshole I looked like.  And I may still.

Today....two things guns and babies.  There are many in the camp I was in that are screaming to outlaw abortion. They are also the ones that want to keep their guns.  They claim that Obama wants to take their guns.  I've never heard that.  They say banning guns won't stop gun violence.  It will only make it easier for criminals to shoot people.  Because criminals don't follow the rules.  I get it...fair point.  Banning guns won't stop gun violence.  At this point, nothing will stop gun violence.  There is to much money in the firearm industry.

So how will banning abortions stop abortions?  Because this is the message many of those in the camp I was a part of believe.  Ban abortions.  But if abortion is murder, that would make those having the abortion murderers, and criminals don't follow laws do they?  I don't for a second think abortion is murder.  And don't even try to debate me on this because I will easily show you how you murder people all the time and don't give two shits about it.

If you are still with me here...between 1989-1994 artists like Dr. Dre, Tupac, Biggie, Redman, Snoop Dogg and many others dramatically increased the amount of foul langauge in their work.  Certain organizations spend countless hours researching and listening and deciding what to do about this and came up with the idea to put stickers on all the art that labeled it explicit.  Fine.  Whatev.  How about you find out what the reason for the langauge was instead.  How about spend all that time and money teaching those youngsters that might listen to it the culture in which the artist was brought up and why they feel the need to use that  language. Perhaps understanding the feelings and situation of the artist would have been a great option.  Or you could just slap a sticker on it and say it's explicit.  According to you.

How does this relate to abortion?  Perhaps if you'd stop putting a sticker on it.  Find out why women feel like they need an abortion.  Learn about what is available as far as contraception and prevention. I don't believe anyone wants to get an abortion.  I sincerely hope there aren't women getting pregnant just so they can have an abortion.  Banning abortion will not stop abortions.   They will happen, underground and in alleyways.  And it will put many more lives at risk.  Just like banning guns will not stop gun violence.

But you know what will help.  Regulations that make things safer and lead to more preventions.  Larger background checks, titles for guns, registrations for guns just like there are for cars.  If you are law abiding...you shouldn't have any problems keeping your guns.  Unless you are a criminal...then you shouldn't have them.  Will bad guys still get them, yes...  More access to birth control, more access to womens health care....etc.   Abortions have actually been on the decline for several years.

Anyway.  I didn't have a lot of fun writing this.  I don't know much about abortion or guns. Or rap music.  Someone could do a much better job than I at creating good discussion.  So feel free to discuss.  Nobody likes abortions.  Nobody likes gun violence. Everybody loves rap music.

Losing it.

As I get older I change.  Some things I can explain some things I can't.  I respond differently in certain situations.  This is neither good or bad, just different.

For the first time in two months of writing in the morning I am finding things in my head that I can put into words.  So I won't.

But just so everyone knows.  I feel like an piece of shit this morning.

Why I Write

I read a Facebook update yesterday about the author pondering the Jesus he was representing.  More often than not it was the  Jesus flipping over the table in the temple.  And not as much the Jesus that was on the cross or having dinner with his betrayer.  

It made me think.  I'm more of a table flipper.  

Honestly...I don't have a good reason for writing about how absurd christianity is represented at times. I honestly think that if Jesus came back he'd flip over about 95% of church culture.  Not the the whole thing, because I'm sure there is at least 5% thats ok.   That 5% includes the people in the church culture.  Because I do think there are lots of people that attend church that love the environment and really don't give church "culture" much thought.  Their church has a wonderful children's program, a good youth group, talented music team and a comfortable atmosphere to sit and reflect on being loved by God.  A place to be refreshed and energized by their creator.  

But when it comes to mainstream issues of gay marriage, transgender bathroom laws, and other areas where christian beliefs play a huge role in some of the backlash, they remain silent.  It's only the 5% that are heard.  The extreme ones.  So how should we interpret your silence?  

I chose to not be silent.  I don't know that I've ever been.  And not only am I going to say that two people of the same sex have every right to be married and transgendered individuals can use the bathroom of their identity,  that saying fuck and shit and damn is ok,  that being mean to people is not ok, that calling names is not ok and that drinking and smoking is also ok. I'm also going to speak my opinion about all the christians who are speaking out against it and reveal all the hypocrisy inside the current "christian church culture."  

So yeah.  I have a beef with the way christianity is portrayed today.  And I'm not sure why so many "innocent" christians don't speak up about it.  Silence is often times a form of consent.  People get so mad that muslims won't stand up and say that the "extreme" ones don't represent their faith.  This leads people to believe what?  That they in fact do.  There are very few voices out there that say they don't.  

So how does it make christianity look when the majority of christians stay silent about the assholes that misrepresent the love and compassion that Jesus Christ represented?   

I've spent about 23 years in church.  I've seen so much good that can come from it.  I understand why people continue to go.  While I disagree with a lot of stuff about americhristianity, I understand why people still worship Jesus.  But at some point you have to look the the current church culture and decide when it's time to clean house and decide if you need all of that fluff to have a loving relationship with Jesus and others.  And the attention and money you give to all that fluff could be better used serving others.  

I wish I had a more solid point to make at the end here.  But I don't.  Maybe a few questions to those people that don't want to cause any harm to others and they just want people to experience the love they feel from Jesus. 

How do you feel about people that misrepresent christianity and use their beliefs to hurt others?  

Are you ok sitting silent about it knowing that you identify with the same faith they do? 

What type of Jesus do you want to represent? 

How big do you think God is? 

To all of you people who are church goers and christians just minding their own business.  I am not mad at you or accusing you of anything.  I have no beef with you.  I am actually very glad that you have peace in your faith.  What I am asking is are you ok with others using your faith to hurt others?  And what are you going to do about it? If anything I say came across as hurtful to you, I'm sorry.  

But that fat lady that was walking around target holding up her bible insulting people was doing in the name of the same god of love and compassion that you worship.  

The Industry of Christian

The Industry of Jesus.  I capitalized that because it is a thing.  Several years ago I was at a christian bookstore and they were selling a tool set with bible verses on it. The tools were cheap.  Not the price.  But the tools were flimsy and poorly constructed.  What a waste.  And the mints.  Those Testa"mints".  And music.  Christianity has it's own genre.  

Growing up in and playing in a "christian" punk rock band I learned a few things.  Christians hate it when one of their tribe doesn't fit it.  One year at the Creation Festival (like woodstock only christian) the band P.O.D. didn't play because they were on tour with ozzfest.  So many people lost their shit over this.  P.O.D. hanging with sinners instead of us religious folk.  Blasphemy!!!  Or does it remind you of another?  Jesus maybe?  

Or when we had Craig's Brother, a band on Tooth and Nail Records come play a show with us.  I remember they showed up and told us what to do.  They expected us to move their equipment and they were even smoking and cussing.  *GASP* I thought for sure they couldn't be christian and they were tarnishing the "christian" music image.  Craigs brother was never a christian band.  They were just christians in a band.  This is most often the case.  They, like many other "christian" bands began playing in church venues because people loved it! But as time passed they realized it wasn't what they wanted and had a hard time losing the label of christian band.  See, just because a band doesn't have a "christian" label, it doesn't mean their lyrics are all about sex and drugs.  Or maybe they are, but talking about the dangers and affects of.  

Their story isn't a stand alone.  So many other bands all of the sudden find themselves in chains to the christian industry.  There was one band huge in the christian scene, back in the 90's.  At the end of their record, they had a bunch of free space, so they just recorded themselves goofing around.  one of them said "ass".  Instant backlash from the christians.  Although everything else was great.  This band fell apart becasue of an ass.  Funny...because God used an ass...multiple times. Maybe they were reading the story of Balaam and you christians who backlashed just ruined their career.  Way to go.  

This is only the tip of the iceberg.  like .000001% of the shit that happens in christian industry.  I would venture to guess if you were to look at Capitol Christian Music Group, Sony or Warner from the outside...you'd never know which one was Christian or not.  So many shysters involved in all of them. 

And what about mega church pastors?  What about any pastor?  Are they allowed to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings?  Their questions? Are they allowed to wrestle with the same things you do? Are they allowed to say Mother Fucker without fear of losing their job when they stub their toe or step on a lego? Are they allowed the freedom of presenting challenging topics in a blog where they might use language that you may not appreciate? If they said "shit" in context, would that turn you off so much that it would cause you to excommunicate them? Why don't you grant them the same grace that you grant yourself on a daily basis? 

When people are kept in chains and in fear that a "slip up" might cost them their job and their livelihood, it creates stress.  In some cases it waters a seed of bitterness towards the very people you are trying to serve.   I could be the smartest person in the world and the nicest guy ever, but some people would not agree with me because I say some cuss words.  Oh...and I may enjoy a cigar and some whiskey too.  

What if the pastor of your church left?  Would you leave too? Do you follow a pastor or Jesus? Oh..and you don't need a pastor to have a relationship with God.  And they are people too.  With real thoughts and struggles as you.  Their shit stinks just like yours. Give them some grace.   

When an artist puts their work together, they shouldn't be bridled by what society or current church culture thinks is "right" or not.  If a lyricist who loves Jesus finds a place in his song where a "word" works well and speaks to a point but won't be accepted by church culture they have to make a decision.  Don't force them to do that.  Let them create art.  

If your favorite christian artist finds themselves questioning the book of genesis.  Don't exclude them from your library and excommunicate them.  Embrace them.  Explore the book together.  Is God not bigger than questioning?  Can he not handle itty bitty you wondering about the vastness of time and the cosmos?

What's that old song?  "They'll know we are christians by our love."  Is that it?  Seems like more and more people know christians by their hate and judgmental behavior. 

Don't hate the messenger.  What if I was born 2000 years too late and this was a book of the bible?  What if all my writings were 2000 years too late?  What if my blogs are inspired by God and the christians today respond just like the religious folk of Jesus day?   I prayed for wisdom a few years ago.  Repeatedly.  Sincerely.  Nick Vujicic told me I should.  I can't learn from books.  So wisdom is my only hope.  What if all my ramblings and all my crazy theories are finally wisdom coming out?  Or I might just be crazy.  But aren't all the game changers a little crazy?

Certainly this isn't a criticism of all christians.  There are good ones out there that live out their faith.   There is a family that I know that reminds me of that.  I see them daily.  I never see them pass judgement and always see them welcoming to others.  It's refreshing, it keeps me believing that there is a real tangible Christianity out there. 

It's Not Always About Catching

Back in March, my son really expressed interest in fishing.  So I rigged up one of my old rods and put one of his spider toys on the line and he practiced casting in the house.  We caught more that day than we have since we started fishing in the lake down the street.

As the weather warmed he's been begging to go out.  I told him when it got warmer we'd go, he remembers stuff.  So we went out fishing a few times.  Didn't catch a thing.  I've never caught anything at the lake down the street.  Ever.  But he doesn't care.  He often pretends he caught a fish while he's reeling it in.  I have to tell him that he's only reeling in a 5 year old ball of power bait.  That stuff lasts awhile, right?   I'll have to take him somewhere we have a better chance at catching.  I wouldn't want him to catch several fish his first time out only to have get discouraged when he doesn't catch any.

I'm not going to lie though, parenting scares the shit out of me.  I mentioned in yesterdays blog the accident I avoided on saturday,  but could have just as easily got into.  I imagined what would happen if I hadn't seen the man pulling out and swerved to avoid him.  I saw the other car, I saw him, I knew timing would be critical.   And we made it in time to get in front of him as he began to pull out only too look once I blew my horn.  If I wouldn't have been on the defense, we'd have t-boned him.  Killing him most likely.  Or hitting his front end, maybe spinning my van around.  I thought about what would happen to the kids in their seats.  Did I have them buckled in correctly?  Did I have the seats installed right?  And what about me, what would have happened to me?  All because some chump of an old man has forgotten to look both ways when crossing the street.  And he wasn't even texting.  Every day, this situations are seconds away.

While we were walking to the lake, there is a sidewalk along a stream fed by an underground spring. It's very cool, the geology in the area.  There is a steep drop off about 15 feet down from the sidewalk.  I noticed my son walking in his crocs (leave it alone, he likes them) and he tripped off the small edge of the sidewalk and lost his balance.  He could have easily rolled down the hill.  I told him to be careful and watch where he was going.  As I passed the point of trip, I looked down the hill into the stream to see a log with branches sticking out of it about 12" long and pointy.  Immediately my thoughts went to panic as he could have rolled down this hill and punctured his chest landing on this log.  In a matter of seconds.   I told him of the danger present and he said, "whoa dad, I could have had that stick put a big hole in my back!"  Like it was nothing.  Our son is pretty aware and cautious. Our daughter.....that's another story.  And this is just the physical dangers.

What about raising them emotionally healthy?  I know how much I struggle having grown up with a less than ideal situation at home. I never realized how much my home environment affected me until I had kids and a wife.  I was an asshole.  Still can be at times.  I love my wife and kids dearly, but the way my brain responds to certain situations it makes me sound like a total self centered dick.  This is a learned behavior.  Self protection mode.  I grew up learning it.  It's tough to shake.  But it can be done.  It takes work though.

And what I do I do?  I take my bike and travel at unsafe speeds on a bike that would fall apart if not paired with a somewhat talented rider through the woods between trees and over rocks and at any moment could plummet to my death into a rock, tree or down the side of the mountain.  And I want my son to come along some day.  Am I crazy?   Or does the fear subside after a while?  I don't even want to let him out of the yard.

That's enough parenting/emotional talk for today.  I think tomorrow I'm going to talk about how fucked up the business of Jesus is.  And you'll learn why i said fuck and jesus in the same sentence without giving one.  :-)

Insert Creative Title here

First off, diet update.  Yesterday was the first time I'd put my new diet to the test with intense workouts.  I went mountain biking in the morning having only consumed 160 calories and 9 g of protein for breakfast in sausage form.  I then rode 7.5 miles in Michaux State forest in about an hour and a half and 750' of elevation gain.  Not the hardest ride.  But I set several personal best times and at the end of the ride my legs have never felt better after a workout.  Later that day I hiked/walked a little over a mile with the family.   Then even later, I played full court basketball for an hour and a half.  Even after that, I've never had so much energy after it was over.  Legs felt great.  It's pretty awesome.  Today...yes.  I'm a little sore.  But I did crash 3 times while mountain biking.  This is a result of going faster and tackling harder obstacles.  I sleep like a rock too.

Second.  We live in an awesome neighborhood.  It's quiet and we have lots of kids.  Great neighbors too.   The street we live on is not heavily travelled at all, but it does provide a way to avoid a busy intersection.  So during busy hours some people like to use our road as a shortcut.  They speed down the street and roll right around the stop sign.  Around 6:30am everyday a Red Ford Freestyle treats it like a race track.  They have their 4 ways on so I assume it's a newspaper delivery person.  I will find out who it is.  This bothers me.  So I called the township and asked what they could do about the people that speed through.   Long story short, the stop signs were never supposed to be there.  They aren't in the plans for the development.  So they took them out.  The theory is that people speed to compensate for slowing down for the stop sign.  It makes sense.  But I don't think it's really going to help at all.  But maybe.  We shall see.

Third.  Coming into our town of Boiling Springs on Forge road, the speed limit is 50.  A few hundred yards after it drops to 35 there is a street coming out on the right and an entrance to a small grocery store across from it.  On Saturday I was on forge, traveling 35 or under.  I'm a slow and consistent driver.  I noticed a white sedan about to pull out from the road on the right.  He never turned and looked.  I get closer, there is another car coming the other direction.  We will pass this white sedan at about the same time, a little later perhaps because I was slowing.  As the other car passed, the white sedan began pulling out in front of me.  NEVER looking to see me coming from his left.  He pulled out, I swerved and laid on my horn.  I saw the whole thing play out so I was ready for whatever happened.  I noticed this jackwad turning into the grocery store.  I had the kids in the car.  I turned around to find him.  Well...it was an old man, parked in the handicap spot.  I pulled up and said "Excuse me sir, I'm the guy you pulled out in front of a minute ago."   He was embarrassed and said "I'm sorry about that.  What happened was...."  And he began making excuses on his shitty driving.  I basically just shut him down and said, "No, there is no excuse for what you did.  You have a clear line of vision in all directions.  You simply were not paying attention.  You NEED to pay more attention.  I have my kids in the car and if I wasn't an awesome driver, you'd be dead and we might be too."  He still denied any fault of his spouting excuses.  I wouldn't let him.  I told him he needs to face the fact he's getting old and I caught him being a danger to those on the roads and that he needs to own that.  Maybe I could have handled it better.  But I wasn't rude, I was stating facts.  I maybe should have given him a chance to explain, knowing he couldn't.  And then he'd prove to himself his lapse of driving attention.  

We all make mistakes driving.  But guess what...if someone catches you.  OWN IT.   We have traffic patterns in place for good reason.  You are driving a machine that can kill anyone at a moments notice.  Pay attention.

Pretty sure that's all on my mind this morning.

Seriously Evangelicals?

I read an article how a volunteer of Samaritans Purse, and organization run by Franklin Graham, was released from her duties because she was "unsuitable" for the organization.  She was there 17 years.  Samaritans Purse provides international relief, including sending out shoeboxes filled with christmas gifts to children around the world.  They are an Evangelical Christian organization.

Why was she unsuitable?  Because she wouldn't sign a document that says she believes gay marriage isn't right and women shouldn't have the right to an abortion.  Not because she supports those things, but because she didn't feel she had the right to say to another what they can and can't do.  So the fired her from her volunteer position.

What does SP really care about?  Feeding hungry people or something else?  Hard to tell.  They deny someone a chance to volunteer to care for the least of these because they wouldn't sign a document promoting discrimination.  Sounds like something Jesus would do.

This infuriates me.  How do you respond?  Because the volunteer can't lash out.  This would take food and care out of hungry children's mouths.   You don't really want to support SP because of how they treat certain sects of other people.

This happened with World Vision a few years ago.  Only opposite. They opened up their doors of employment to anyone.  Including those living alternative lifestyles.  And what happened?  Millions of dollars were lost in child sponsorship money from "christians".  Christians that seemed to care more about homosexual lifestyle than children that otherwise wouldn't get an education or food.

I'm sorry...that's no christianity.  AT. ALL.  What's important to you?  Are you giving just to put on some sort of facade?  Look at me..I give to this organization.  Does it have anything to do with the needs of children around the world?  Your actions and withdrawal based on a an open and welcoming employment opportunity tell me you don't.

So what does World Vision do? Do they discriminate or continue to feel as many hungry children who would most likely die otherwise do?  I think their decision to open their doors to anyone shows where their heart is.  But to make a decision between the two?  That would be tough. And I don't blame them for either one the made.

Can you imagine a child opening up their gift box on Christmas from Samaritans Purse and pausing, asking if the box was packed by a homosexual?  And if the answer was yes, they'd push it aside?  Can you imagine a child sitting down to a meal and education and asking, was this check that paid for all of this cashed by a transwoman?  If so, I can't accept it.  How ridiculous is that?  Seriously?

That's all for today.  If you are reading this and have no skin in the game. But have a desire to help hurting, hungry, wounded children in parts of the world.  I can point you to a few quality organizations that could use the funds immediately. And they will be appreciated.

Deconstruction of everything. And diet stuff.

When someone says deconstruction most people think the taking down of.  Today, deconstruction is also used as a term in the christian community in regards to those examining their faith.  Most often it is a process of removing piece by piece everything you've been taught and once believed to be true and finding out for yourself.  In a hope to either reconstruct or learn about what you think you know.  If you were to deconstruct a building, it's most likely because you intend to learn about how it was built or because you hope to reuse some of the structure.  Demolition is just knocking everything over and rebuilding with all new materials or just not building again at all.

This isn't just buildings and faith.  It's everything.  I'm going down the faith deconstruction road if that hasn't been obvious enough.  

One of those areas of deconstruction is diet.  I've always been intrigued with how the body works and used the food we put into it.  But I've never been smart enough to really fully grasp it.  Last monday I started following a Ketogenic Diet.  ****IT'S AT THIS POINT I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT BUT I MIGHT BE WRONG***** It's high fat, moderate protein and low/no carbs.  Here is my take in a nutshell.  We eat bread and sugar.  A lot of it.  These are all filled with carbs.  When we don't use the carbs we store them as fat.  We eat so much carbs that we can't burn them all.  That's why America is mostly overweight people.  Our bodies use carbs first when needing fuel for energy.  Even if you use up all your carbs in your system, your body won't automatically switch to the reserve fat stores.  It takes weeks or months to transition into using fat stores.  If you keep stuffing your face with carbs, you'll never get to the fat stores.  Unless you exercise 7 days a week for an hour or two a day.  I did this once.  I was also self employed, had no kids, lots of free time and followed a ridiculously low calorie diet.  I lost 37 lbs in 3 months.  Guess what?  It all came back.  This type of diet is simply not sustainable.   

Back to Keto.  This diet makes sense to me.  I wish I would have started 3 months ago when some other friends did.  I'd be fat adapted for this years spring/summer activities.  The goal of this diet is to enter Ketosis, which is the process of creating ketones for your body to use for energy.  This energy comes from your fat stores or your fat that you consume.   Fat is not bad.  It's only bad you eat it with at shit ton of carbs.  Which most people do.  The carbs are used first the fat is just stored away.   Yesterday I started tracking my intake.  I ate about 2000 calories, 161 grams of protein, 141.5 fat grams and 7 grams of carbs.  This was in 4 slices of bacon, coffee and heavy cream, almonds, pork roast, sunflower seeds, cheese, ribeye steak and salad with caesar dressing.  And about 7 huge pickles.  I also went on a 5 mile bike ride pulling a 100 pound trailer and was moderately active most of the day.   I feel great. 

For the past several months I've been waking up hungry.  But the past few days....I haven't.  It's weird.  Usually it gets me out of bed in the morning.  I'd eat a bagel with cream cheese while writing.  And then another one with the kids when they woke up.  My day would have started with so many carbs!!!!  They keep you hungry!!!   

I don't have all the answers to this diet.  I've listened to enough podcasts on the topic and read enough blogs to convince me that it's pretty legit.  There are many other benefits as well.  

Sunday night I tipped the scales at 220.  This morning, 211.  I know some of that is water weight.  But that water is no longer needed in my inflamed body.  That's a good water loss.  But I'm drinking more water this week than I ever have in my life.  We're talking 100 oz. a day.    

Mark Sisson has a great episode on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast about this.  

Matt Carter has a podcast called Break it Down which I listen to every episode of, and episode 70 he interviews a keto expert.  

Oh...and fruit isn't the greatest diet food either.  

But if you have a diet and nutrition program that works for you and you get results, awesome.  There are multiple ways to stay healthy.  This is just one.  And it seems like this is best diet for me.  I've got 26% body fat percentage.  I could probably run for months using just what I have in my body already.  

True Colors, Landmark Removal and Miley Cyrus

I read a story about George Zimmerman going to auction off the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin.  He's claiming you can own a piece of history.  But I'm not going to talk about what I think of that.  What is wrong with people? Trying to profit off a murder.  Oh wait.  All of america did that in it's inception.

Miley Cyrus recently performed at a private party at a gay club.  She acted out sexual acts with a giant inflatable penis and an inflatable doll as well.  It's disturbing.  For sure.  There are several (lets call them) "communities" that are horrified that Hannah Montana could do such a thing and the she needs Jesus.   I often wonder if this is what Miley thought she'd be doing.  Or maybe she's like, they were going to be there and someone was going to be performing.  Might as well be me.  It's good money!  Or is she just a talented young girl sucked in to the entertainment industry and has been brainwashed by a bunch of big wigs, policies and contracts.  Or, she's doesn't really give a rip.  I don't know.  But the judgement I see spread is much worse than what she's doing for income.  In my opinion.

But really...here's what I'm thinking.

There was a local tree that many people referred to as "little Africa" "Serengeti" "The Lion King Tree" "Tree of Life".  It was a big tree in the middle of a field.  It's gone now.  Probably old and dying.  And let's face it.  Farmers don't need a shade tree in the middle of the fields now to cool their horses and have a place to eat lunch.  They sit in air conditioned tractors.  Or just drive home for lunch.  No need for that big tree if it's taking up field space.   Lots of people are sad about this one tree.  But bring up the fact that hundreds of trees are taken down in the name of developments and new buildings....no one really cares.  What's one more?  I get it served as a landmark.  But what about all the other trees?

It reminds me of these crowd funds or fundraisers for one child.  If you focus on one thing, people rally and come to the aid.  But if you want to help millions of starving, hurting, and many diseased children.  It's incredibly difficult.  Often times people will rally around 1 but not the many.  I'm not sure why.  Do you want to see a result?  Do you not like knowing your small donation may not solve anything?  It does.  It will be used and children will appreciate it.

Lets talk about Sexting

I wasn't going to write about sexting this morning.  Imagine that. But I read some things on facebook about three local teens involved in sending a dick pic around.  This is the story in my own words.  It's 17b (boy) and 15b both have a crush on 17g.  They plan to fight over her.  I wonder where they learned to fight over something?  15b takes a pic of his member and sends it to 17g.  17g sends it to 17b and he takes a photo of it and sends it around to others.  They all get caught.  Police get involved.  There is news stories about these three.  Two of them face serious charges.  But none of the other hundred or so kids in the school that do the same thing are caught.  Don't be naive people.  Kids do this.  Just like 90% of adults look at porn and would never admit it.  Or they would.  Sexting is everywhere.  what do you think snapchat was created for?

People are saying we need to talk to our kids about sexting now. Guess what?  You knew about sexting before this happened. Why didn't you talk to them about it then?  Wake the fuck up parents.  Your kids are doing everything they aren't supposed to do, or they want to and will do it soon.  You know why they won't talk to you about it?  They are scared to.  Because you don't tell them about all the stupid things you do.  Tell them everything.  All the doobie you smoked, all the times you got drunk, all the people you slept with...EVERY DAMN MISTAKE OR ACT OF QUESTIONABLE BEHAVIOR you've ever done.  Otherwise, they'll do the same thing and never tell you about it.  Just like you did with your parents and just like your parents never told you their shit either.

So if anyone says anything hurtful to any of these kids.  Look in the mirror.  Own up to your own shit to everyone around you before you go judging others.

You wonder why kids are so sex charged?  They were designed for sex in their early teens.  Should any of these kids have done that?  No.  But they aren't the only ones.  They are the only ones that got caught.  Have you seen the new Calvin Klein ad campaign? It's an upskirt shot showing off a nice pair of undies.  And you wonder why all our kids have sex on the mind.

These kids did something wrong.  Hand them their punishment.   No need to have all the media coverage. Everyone knew this was happening before the media.  They just deny it.

To the kids that get caught.  Don't do stupid shit like this.  But you've learned that lesson.  But don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone does stupid things.  When you are older and want to pass along erotic photos to someone, have at it.  Nothing to be ashamed of.  But you do know...once that photo is out there....it's out there.  Even if it's legal.  Don't carry shame around from this.  It's not worth it.  And if anyone brings it up and tries to shame you....know that they are doing that because they have all kinds of skeletons in their closet they keep trying to hide.

To the 15b's out there.  don't take dick pics and send them to people.
To the 17g's out there.  even if you get one, don't re-gift it.   lesson learned.
To the 17b's out there.  be the mature one and delete it.  now you and 17g have a record.

Shooting from hip leads to accidental death

We've all done it, started to engage is some type of behavior or get involved in a conversation that we have no business being in.  Taking a stab at it, shooting from the hip.  It's imposter syndrome.  You pretend to act a certain way because you might be able to fool people you are better than what you really are.  Or people just assume you know way more than you do and treat you like that anyway.  You can either be honest and say you are no expert or you may even enjoy the attention of being "the guy".

I kinda do this every day.  I get on the computer and talk about stuff that I really don't know anything about.  Just observation and how I view things.  I could be wrong.  I could also be right.

It's nice to feel like an expert every now and then.  It's important to know there is always someone more of an expert.  And that you can still learn something from everyone.  It's nice to have people come to you for answers.  It's important that you not give them an answer if you aren't sure it's correct or not.

Which brings me to the bible.  The bible says this, the bible says that.  But honestly, no one today really knows.  They have a good idea, but it may be wrong.  It may be close though.  But close isn't good enough.

I see a lot of christians claiming their one way to be THE way, misquote and misuse the bible, and use your God platform to discourage and undermine people.  And be flat out insensitive.  Phil Robertson for example.  Makes the entire redneck, conservative, christian community look like assholes.  His recent remarks about HB2 were incredibly insensitive and so narrow minded.  I get that he may have a hard time understanding things he's never thought about.   But for someone of his fame, to just spew whatever outloud can have horrible consequences and cause hurt and pain for many people.  While Phil may think it's as simple as penis = male and vagina = female, it's not always that simple.

I used to be a christian.  Most of the time, I'm criticizing the type of christian I used to be.  I don't know if I believe all that anymore.  I mean, I probably do.  I just don't want to associate with what the majority of people see and think when they hear Christian.  When people like ted cruz and donald trump walk around toting this christian card...no thanks.

That's all for today.  I didn't really feel like being an opinionated asshole today.  it just came out.  Otherwise I was just going to complain about how much my body aches because I'm getting old and I can't paint 2 story foyers as easily as I used to.  And I also started a diet yesterday.  I'm about 30 lbs. overweight.  It's pretty much been that way for awhile and I get stuck around 210.  But why can't I get stuck around 185?  And why does that extra 25 find itself right in my gut?  Thanks genetics.

Dallas Sucks Happy Meals

I was driving to work yesterday and saw a sticker with a Philadelphia Eagles logo on it that had the words "Dallas Sucks".   What a stupid sticker.  Actually, the eagles suck.  But what I didn't like was that you are an eagles fan, but instead of lifting up your team you bring some other team down.  That sounds a lot like how most American christians treat their faith.  People know what you are against more than what they know you are for.  I'm not going to dig to deep into this one, but you know what I mean.  Not all christians are like this, I know.  But those that are, are often the loudest.  I'm not going to be an eagles fan just because dallas sucks.

And happy meals.  Recently I noticed Mcdonalds happy meals weren't gender specific.  Every kid gets the same toy.  I thought this was just because of the particular toy.  Then burger king said they don't do the boys or girls kids meals anymore either.  I'm sure all the super conservative friends are outraged by this madness!!!! Actually, I doubt it because this is a fantastic idea.  No more kids whining about wanted the other kids toys.  They all get the same one.  

Recently Target took their boys/girls signage down from the toy section in an effort to let kids pick their own toys.  Why are toys gender specific anyway?  But the girls aisles are all still pink.  It's pretty easy to tell.  Seriously though, other than dolls what do girls play with?

I want kids to grow up in a non gender specific world.  To some extent of course.  Let kids play with whatever toys.  I think it's great to see all the kids in my neighborhood playing together. The girls jump in and play guns with the boys.  Even though I'm still on the fence with the gun stuff.  Honestly...if we are gonna do the gun thing lets just play paintball.  I like how they all ride bikes.  I like how the girls and the boys both were a part in carrying around the deer carcass through the backyard.  Although, I did have to yell at them to put it back where they found it and to wash there hands really well after carrying it.  They did put it back, I hope they followed through with the other suggestion.

My son isn't quite old enough to run through the neighborhood.  Or maybe he is, maybe I'm just not ready for it.

Peace Rock and Happy Meals

There is a rock in the movie "The Jungle Book" called the peace rock.  It's at the bottom of a river bed and when it is revealed it means that there is very little water in the area in which the animials live.  They call for peace and no animal is allowed to fight or eat other animals at this time.  It's called the Water Truece.  When the rains come again it's back to normal.  I thought this was pretty awesome.  

When times were tough and animals were dying of thirst and food was scarce, they called a truece and everyone could drink from the same cup.  From mice to tigers.  

How many people in this world are hungry?  How many people in this world are hungry and still work in sweat shops to make stuff for us here in America?  How many people in your town are hungry? 

At the end of the day, we are all humans.  Every single person on this earth is a human.  Except for some science experiments maybe.  It's so hard for me to fathom the conditions some people live in this very minute while I sit hear on my couch, sipping coffee listening to birds chirp over the hum of the heater to take the chill off.  Last night I turned to A/C on so Josiah wasn't so hot.  I'm typing on my ipad instead of my imac and because the keys on my iphone are to small and i wanted to sit upstairs today.  And we live a fairly modest lifestyle.  

I'm not complaining about this life.  But I didn't do anything to deserve it.  Most of us didn't. And most of those living in impoverished countries didn't do anything to deserve that either.  We are all a product of where we were born.  

But in today's world, we know of these places where it's a struggle to survive everyday.  Are we doing anything about it?  Yes....we are making it worse.  want proof?  Donald Fucking Trump.  Want to make america the laughing stock of the world...vote for him.  I know the other candidate might not be much better, but think  years from now.  Who's mess would you rather clean up?  Donald Trump is creating enemies, intentionally.   

Wasn't America a country that used it's power to protect and defend?  Not just america, but all over.  But yet...Captian Americas shield.  A shield is a symbol of protection and defense, and in some cases attack but as a last resort.  Captain America largely uses his shield for attack.  

Anyhow, most of this comes from within.  So my criticism often stems from myself first.  But I'm probably the average american.  We have enough wealth in America to take care of all those that are hungry.  Not just americans, but in the entire world!  We have enough wealth inside the american church alone to do that!

Why doesn't a christian nation like america care?  What are we living for?  To die?  

In the beginning and the end, we are all the same.  Birth and Death.  Enjoy these lyrics from the band "Radical Face"

Well, some of us will be revered, and some forgotten

And some of us will sleep out in the rain

And some of us will die lonely

And others' in grace and warmth

But in the end we all go the same

And some of us will be worn down with time

And others' will be famous in their days

Some of us will be dreamers

While others' just fade away

But in the end we all leave the same

And some of us will take everything we can

And others' will just give it all away

And some of us will be beaten

While others' refuse to bend

But in the end we all go the same

And you will live your life full of fear

And I will live mine wishin' you were near

And you will pray to be stronger

And I won't pray at all

But either way we're both gonna fall

Shit Covered Kids

Fucking kids.  Seriously.  They can be the greatest things that have ever happened to you.   They can also drive you to the brink of insanity.  And if you don't have your own shit together, they'll steer you right off the edge.  

I might just stay on this topic for a bit.   Our daughter is 2.  She's back into the phase of only wanting mommy when we both are around.  When it's just me around, she's fine.  When it's both of us, it's mommy.  So mommy can't ever get a break.  Unless she leaves.  It frustrates me.  Because she also pushes mommy's buttons too.  And I can't help unless I'm the punishment.  This doesn't help in our relationship.  Daddy becomes the enforcer.  That's not fair for daddy.  I see the woman I love being tormented by our two year old and I can't do anything about it unless I want to risk driving the gap between my daughter and I even deeper, or so it feels.

On the flip side, my son thinks I'm awesome.  We ride bikes together, play on the iPad together and many other things.  This morning he got up at 5:45 with me and wanted to write on his iPad like I get up and write on the computer.  He wrote his name.  But this is MY time.  That's why I wake up early. Next thing you know he wants Hungry Shark on his iPad like his cousin has on his Kindle.  Well, it's my old iPad and it needs 8.0 for it to work.  He's mortified.  Starts crying.  My right brain insists on destroying the iPad over my knee.  There was a time when I would.  I told him it won't work on his iPad.  SO then he said he wants a kindle.  Apparently Bloons HD 5 and tower defense 2 isn't enough fun for my 4 year old.

Happy Mothers Day!  

Parents, get your shit together.  Otherwise you'll just get it all over your own kids.  And nobody wants to be covered in someone else's shit.  Your kids will become little mini you's.  Do you really want that?  Cause they will.  

Bored and Depressed

Not all the time.  But I want to take a stab at how inactivity leads to sadness, a lack of self worth and even depression.

Not just inactivity by choice either.  But a general, there is nothing to do.  In America, survival is easy.  I know I'm generalizing.  I know there are people in america that have to work really hard to meet the needs of their family.  I'm not saying what you do is easy. In fact, I wish more people could experience a little bit more difficulty in what it means to survive on a daily basis.

On my last trip to Haiti we talked with someone in the medical field about mental illness in the country.  It's not very documented nor does it seem to be prevalent as much as in the US.

These thoughts occurred to me while listening to a podcast and the hosts were talking about how awesome it would be to be stranded on an island.  There would be such a need for survival.  All of the sudden you have more of a purpose than to just exist.

I guess that's like living in Haiti.

Every day is survival mode.  Knowing that if you take a day off it sets you back a week.  You have goals and strive to meet them.  Is it possible to still have depression?  I don't know.  I'm not an expert.  I'm just thinking.

There have been times in the past when I've had slow periods at work.  Those days sitting at home are awful.  The feeling of not contributing at all.  And coping mechanisms cost money or require effort.  And you don't even feel like it.  You don't even need to go work in the garden, because you probably don't have one.  Or tend to you livestock, because you don't have any.  In my case, by the time I'd go get a job someone would call for work.  But if you are trying to find a job, it can take awhile.  And the longer it takes the worse it gets.  You could exercise, what for though?  What gives you the right to have fun if you aren't contributing?

For me anyway, if I don't feel as though I'm contributing to our household or society in any way I don't deserve to enjoy it.  I have to earn it.

What if we all had purpose everyday.  When we woke up our feet hit the ground running and worked to accomplish something or move towards a goal.  What if we had routine and carved out time for leisure and fun?  Or even worked fun into our goals.  Or we could be spontaneous in our endeavors still having an end goal in mind.

But sometimes even those people that have routine and something to contribute too often find themselves in a rut.  Maybe asking why.  Why are you doing what you are doing?  Renew the passion.

And sometimes you just can't.  See a doctor, take medication and go to therapy.   Learn coping mechanisms while you are healthy.

OH....Speaking of prison.  It would be foolish to send my child to timeout and not offer any type of counseling during timeout and after timeout.  It would be foolish to send them there for 3 minutes and not explain why what they did was wrong and how to avoid it in the future.  And help provide an environment for growth and change.  Constant correction in the little things so big mistakes don't happen.    I'm going to continue this tomorrow.

What's up with the wall?

Some days, you just write.   I love writing.  I love sitting at the computer and allowing my head to spill out onto the keyboard.  I know that even if I don't have much to write about, I still have to get up and write.  I want to get better at it.

I heard a story from Rob Bell yesterday about a wall in his neighborhood.  He noticed this huge wall, 30' tall at least and wide.  There was a very detailed mural on it on a nature scene with waterfalls.  It was an ad for a bottle water company. It said something along the lines of "whatever you do, keep nature in mind"

First off, I'm disgusted by gigantic ads like this.  I wonder how mindful of nature the company is that made the ad.  Certainly nature might be on their mind, but how much do they care.   It reminds of the community in Enola called "The Preserve",  it's at the foot of the mountain and called that because they wanted to preserve nature.  Well, you just destroyed several thousand acres to build houses.....  I'm not against the community, just don't try to act like you preserved anything.  You only preserved what was left.

Anyway, Rob walked by and saw that it had been graffitied. It had a gangs name written several times all over it.  His son told him that's a rookie tag.  Only small rookie gangs will leave their name all over it.   But how did the graffiti get all the way to the top?  That's a big wall!

 A few days later he noticed two men in masks with a scissor lift scrubbing away at the graffiti.  They cleaned it all, it took 11 days.

Couple things, why would someone deface property like that?  And why didn't they continue to do it as they saw it was being cleaned?

Rob saw it as an act of resistance.  The guys cleaning it.  They were basically saying, you can graffiti our wall but we will clean it up.  You and your disrespectful attitude will not win.

I'm glad he drew that out of the situation.  

I went another way with it.  I think the cleaning company was pissed at the water company for not paying them their fair share and not working them enough hours.  So they took their own equipment and sprayed graffiti all over the wall. Made it look like a gang that doesn't exist.  That's how they got it all the way to the top.  Then they told the company what had happened and were assigned to clean it.  I know it's a stretch, but what a way to stick it to the man.

Anyway.  That's may morning writing.  I'm sure I'll have more this afternoon.

Smoke and Reflection

A few days ago a friend of mine posted a photo on Facebook of an ashtray outside of a church.  In American christian church culture smoking is a no no.  You are a special kind of sinner if you smoke. My friend was encouraged that this church provided a place for smokers.  Some of the comments that followed disgusted me more than an ashtray.  The judgement and condemnation.   I know a lot of people may not agree with a lot of what I have to say about this stuff.  And some of the situations are more complicated then what I make them (though I think they make them more complicated).

I remember when I was 16.  Most of my church friends and I snuck in some smokes when we could.  Me and a friend went to the getty mart in boiling springs because we knew they sold to minors and we both back a pack of Marlboros.  Had we known better, we'd have got something else.  I stole a pack of L&M Kings from my grandma, put them in a cassette case and shared them with those same friends.  We then graduated to cigars.  Someone else, very close to me, that's a girl close to my age and related to me and we share the same parents introduced me to clove cigarettes when we were teenagers. And we always hid it.  We didn't want our parents to find out or we'd get in trouble.  Or we might end up in hell.

I still enjoy cigars.  On occasion I'll still pick up a pack of clove cigs.  I know smoking is bad for you.  But you know what?  So is ice cream.  So is fast food.  So is red meat.  So is soda.   So are some of the images you put into your mind.  So is some of the harmful talk that comes out of your mouth.  So lay off smokers you hypocrite.

According to the bible and most modern christian teaching, everyone sins.  EVERYONE.  But if you go to most churches, if you sin a certain way you are still not allowed to volunteer or serve.  This, IMHO, is total nonsense.  Or in other terms, bullshit.  Or as the Apostle Paul would say,  Skabula!

I  know all the chistianese responses to this.  It's unrepentant sin if you live openly about it.  Well...you live not open about yours and you've been doing it for 15 years....what's the difference?

And the fact that some church leadership doesn't care if an openly gay individual serves as an usher but there may be members that do, they'll side with the members.  So you'd rather continue to oppress those already oppressed then stand up for what you believe is right?  I know you want to roll it out slow that it's not a bad thing.  But what about the long slow roll out process of someone being an openly gay christian finally being able to be themselves and serve.  How long will you continue to roll out that process?  Another hundred or so years?

Back to my original point.  Stop calling stuff sin.  Unless you are going to call it all out and have everyone openly confess to everyone what their sin is, stop calling it out in others.

I've got a good qualifier.  Don't be a dick.  If you are a dick, you can't serve.  If you are mean and hurtful to people, you can't serve.  Wait...wait....wait... I bet the generation that still likes to keep sinners from serving in the church was bullied when they were younger with all kinds of do's and don't's (I know thats the wrong way to spell don'ts or is it dont's, see my predicament).   They are finally to the point where it's their turn.  So let the bullies serve.  Let the gay people serve.  Let the alcoholic serve.  Let the closet porn addict that half your volunteers already are continue to serve.

When someones behaviors are destructive to themselves or others is a fine time to step in and ask your friend about their decisions.  Ask them about why they do what they do or how the feel.

Back to smoking.  You may be saying that the smoke smell wafts around and you can still receive harmful effects from second hand smoke.  I get that.  Smokers know that.   But don't go saying it's a sin.

Hypocrite Cruz opts for Abortion

Might as well talk about.  Donald Freakin Trump.  Seriously Republicans?  SERIOUSLY?  Don't act all confused.  Don't say you didn't vote for him.  Just like you didn't buy that Nickelback album too, right?  SOMEONE had to like them, otherwise they wouldn't have sold so many albums!

You can't tell me a whole bunch of democrats voted for him, or switched parties on their voter registration just to vote for him and put him up as a candidate.  I don't buy it.  Maybe some did, but Trump one in a landslide.

Oh, and Cruz should most definitely have carried his campaign to full term.

I actually think down on the inside Trump is a reasonable dude.  He's just putting on a show to get the R ticket.  Now that he has it, he'll say whatever he needs to say to get the democratic vote.

Honestly, I couldn't give two flying sacks of pig skabula about who the president is.  I mean, I care.  I voted in the primary.  I have my preferred candidate.  But Mr. Rogers is dead and I don't think anyone else wrote him in.

Enough political talk for me.  I really have no idea.  I'm more excited about following the tracking details on my new chainring. It should be here thursday by midnight via UPS Ground.  Two weeks ago I ordered a pair of shoes off of Amazon, paid 4.99 for the expedited 2 day shipping.  I ordered them at 3:45pm.  I had them by noon the next day.  IN.  CREDIBLE.

After a few days back on my antidepressants, I think I take a welbutrin generic, my mind seems to be balancing back out.  I don't like to believe that it actually works.  But I do notice a difference when I forget to take it for a few days.  The way this medicine works is that is has to maintain a certain level in your body.  You can't just take a pill and be fine.  So if you miss a few doses...or even just a few evenings, it can mess with the levels.

And that's all for today.  Enjoy the beginning of the end of America.  Maybe next year Oprah will run for President.  Or Kanye.  Or anyone else with a shit ton of money.

Do you really want DONALD TRUMP sitting in the OVAL OFFICE????  Seriously?!?!?!   I guess if you do you do.  But I haven't heard one shred of good reason for him being in office.  If you think someone like Donald Trump would make a good president, I don't think you have any idea what a president represents.  Do you want to go to war with the world?  Vote for Trump.  Do a quick google search for what world leaders have to say about Trump.