Did you ever stop and think what normal is? Or what makes something normal? Nothing is normal. No matter how much you try, you will never be normal. And that's ok. Because no one likes normal. Being normal sucks.
Normal and happy aren't the same thing. Did you ever stop and think what being happy is? Did you ever stop and think what makes other people happy and joyful?
I love watching my kids get excited about stuff. When my son caught his first fish yesterday. He was so excited and happy. And so was I, especially when he wanted to touch it. They were only 3-4 inch sunfish, but he was so excited. That makes me happy. I'm happy for him.
But when did I forget how to be happy for me?
Maybe I'll never be.
I am good at a lot of things. But there is always someone better than me. I've never been the best at anything. This is where Joel Osteen would say that being the best me is enough. I don't even know what the best me is.
Maybe this is the best of me.
That would really suck. Maybe I am realizing that there is nothing that I can grasp that will fulfill me. That it has to come from within. To know who I am.
This is really depressing. But they are real thoughts.
Maybe I need more adventure. I've thought about lately. That in todays world we have so many things so easily available to us we are lacking adventure. But isn't marriage and raising children and adventure. Yes. It is. Very much so. Maybe I should embrace that adventure. And do things I haven't done yet inside of that adventure. Action always precedes motivation.
One thing is for sure. I am not weak. (this is the point in my blog when I googled "becoming the best version of yourself" and the meme attack just disgusted me).
Little memes about overcoming not comparing yourself to others may help in the short term. It's like a drug that gets you going. For me, they only piss me off. Because I know all that stuff. I was in Amway once. Knowing and implementation are two different things. It's not even about transformation.
It's about discovering.
It's about turning over new rocks.
It's about the next bend.
Just keep going until the next bend. Expect the best. And don't be discouraged if it's not what you'd hoped for. There's always another bend.
Maybe this is the best of me.
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