Speaking the Truth in Love

Back in the days I would call myself a Christian I would hear people say they need to speak the truth in love.  This was code for, because I love you I will tell you that you are sinning.  Even if you don't go to church or believe in Christianity. It rarely was a word of encouragement that was spoken in truth.

Like, you as you are, are enough.  Just the way you are, I love you.  Nothing you do or say will change the way I feel about you.  This is what I would imagine God would say.

However, if you are actively involved in an addiction that is wreaking havoc on your life and the lives of others I imagine the conversation to go just a little bit different.  But still along the lines of a loving father caring so much for his child that all he wants is for healing.  And may even love to much and not push enough for recovery.  (As an aside, if you are an addict, I've heard first hand that AA and Celebrate Recovery work wonders.  You just have to go.)

So many times I see and hear christians wanted to correct gay people by telling them it's against God's plan for their life.  That it's not the way God intended them and they could live such a more full life.  And they do this "speaking truth in love".  I call bullshit on that.  In love of course.

Sometimes I hold back a little bit on how I feel about God.  If someone believes, great.  Because,

I can't prove or disprove God.  I can for myself decide if I want to believe or not.  And more often than not I don't.  I may be wrong.  I may be right.

I'd love if there was a God.  A loving God.  But I'm not going to bet on God's existence.  And no, I can't explain how the earth came to be.  I don't really care.  I don't really care about the intricacies of life.  It's pretty fuckin awesome.  That's all I care about.   Childbirth is cool.  How a mother cares for the child is incredibly fascinating.

So...my message out of love to all God people.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

My message out of love to all not God people.  Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

I know I need to do a better job of it, but maybe next time we find ourselves needing to speak the truth to someone in love we should make sure we have a long standing relationship with that person.  If we don't, we should speak the truth in love about something they are good at.  Something that makes them special.  Use your truth in love to encourage someone and build someone up.

I remember a sign in the barber shop I grew up getting my haircut at.  Lord, if I can't say something nice to someone, help me keep my big mouth shut.

And just so everyone knows...when I speak of my issues with Christianity I'm not thinking of any one church or person specifically.  It's typically the body that I see represented to most within my field of vision.  And right now, I see many more people that were hurt by the church and are afraid to speak out about for fear of what their friends and family might think.