Are They Really That Bad?

It's hard to write about anything other the most unconstitutional president that has sat in the oval office for as long as I can remember.  But I'm not nearly qualified enough nor know enough about what's going on to provide any real facts.  I even wrote unconstitutional because I've seen enough credible people use that word.

So I'll write about Mr. Rogers instead.  Yep.  That's right.  It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood Mr. Rogers.  He was one of the first people to interact with children from a screen.  He'd ask rhetorical questions.  How many people answered him?  Honestly, I can't remember.  But it wouldn't have mattered if you did or didn't.  The show went on without you.

There is number of shows on tv that do this.  My kids watch Team Umizoomi.  I'm pretty sure that's the one where they have the children viewers spin, jump and do other sorts of stuff to fill some sort of power meter.  My daughter plays along...my son learned that it doesn't matter what he does, the power meter still fills up.   I probably taught him that, just like I did my daughter.  I don't want them thinking that they have any pull in the results of what happens on the show.  At least until they are watching election results and are old enough to vote.

It's like watching an exercise show without actually exercising.

But times are changing.  There are programs that you can have your kids watch that have a camera attached to the tv.  It can actually tell if your child is moving.  I don't know if this is better or worse to be honest.  Just thinking about video games.  I grew up with Super Mario World.  I'll never forget the first video game you could actually go backwards.  Ok...I do forget.  Maybe it was Contra?  Anyway, now so many of these games are open world.  You can go anywhere.  Many force you to problem solve.  I love watching my son play the Lego games and Skylanders on Xbox.  They way he figures it out is mind blowing to me.

Screens are changing.  It's no longer just tv.  Kids under ten years old are basically guinea pigs.  They don't know life without screens.  The long term effects of having screens everywhere are unknown.  Not just a tv screen, but interactive screens.  For us adults, screens almost seem like the enemy at times.  Because we remember a day when we didn't have them.  However, many just used a book, magazine or newspaper instead.  How many bathrooms had a magazine rack next to them?  When our life is in a forced pause it's so hard for us to sit still without any attachment to the world.  Like in a line somewhere, you pull your phone out.  Even at stop lights, people pull their phones out.  FYI, you need to pay attention at stop lights too.

I'm not going to vilify screens.  I just hope that people use some sense.  Don't forget about human to human interaction.  When standing in lines, try to make small talk.  Even just smile at someone.  Have you made eye contact with a stranger lately?  Do we even know how to talk to strangers face to face anymore?  Are we comfortable with small talk?

Equal Air Time

This is going to be painful.  Truly.  But I'm going to give it a shot.

Trump might be onto something.  I've heard he wants to make it easier for immigrants from predominantly muslim countries to get into the USA.  I've been told that he needed to do a complete shutdown of travel to roll this new program out.  Unfortunately, some people in the short term will be effected by that in a negative way.  Some people may even die while waiting.  But it's the cost of progress.  If it means a brighter future than maybe this is what has to happen.  Maybe Donald Trump just isn't afraid to let the public see what really goes on.  There is no sense hiding the carnage from the american people.

Screw it.  I can't.

Politics is complicated. Security is complicated.  International Travel is complicated.  Governing is complicated.  Everything is so complicated and the ripple effect from every decision spreads farther than the eye can see.  Potentially into future generations.  Years of research and background information need to be done before making a decision regarding our relationship with the world and the even inside our own borders.

Trump decided to run for president, what?  A year and a half ago?  He became the republican nominee a little less than a full year ago.  He became president elect about 3 months ago.  Most of the people he is appointing have little government experience.   Trump himself isn't even a politician.  He doesn't know how it all works.  EVEN if it's not working as good as it could be.  It's like having a middle school student who just passed an intro to biology perform open heart surgery.

Hey, maybe in 50 years we'll look back and see this with a whole different perspective.  Actually I'm almost positive we will.  

Or maybe those making decisions need to imagine what it will be like in future with the consequences of a signature.

I'm just not feeling confident.

Trump signed an executive order to repeal the Affordable Care Act with nothing to take it's place.

Trump signed a ban on immigration from predominantly Muslim countries including refugees from war torn syria.  I know he didn't create this list, Obama did.   He said he has plans for a new vetting process.  But immigration needs shut down in order to implement it.  Why couldn't he roll out this new process in real time?   Our vetting process here seems to be pretty damn good.  Considering 780,000 some were admitted to the US since 9/11 and not one of them killed anyone.  You have a greater risk of dying while falling out of bed.  He has no new vetting process in place.  He's on a four month clock to get one put together.

But You STILL Text and Drive.

This won't be filled with information.  This is me being frustrated.  I'm flabbergasted.  This ban on refugees.  Why?  I don't understand.  There hasn't been a single death in America by a refugee since 9/11.  We have an AMAZING vetting process.  It can take 2 years and involves a ridiculous amount of agencies.  We have nothing to fear from terrorists coming in and disguising themselves as refugees.  NOTHING.  And even if one of out 100 did...I know I'd be willing to take that chance.  I'd be willing to let the fine folks that screen them all do their jobs and find them.

Why do I say nothing to fear?  You are at a greater risk being killed the moment you get in your car and go for drive.  A FAR GREATER RISK.  Do you know how many people text and drive?  It's dangerous out there!!!!

This ban is nothing more than religious discrimination.  It's a fuck you to an entire religion.  It's a giant gift to terrorist organizations.  What a marketing tool.  America doesn't want you anyway...so join us.  Make them pay.  This ban will only serve to make America more of a target.

I still have faith in the American people.  All across the country protests are happening at international airports. I have faith the the American people will do the right thing.  Fight against tyranny.  We turned away Jews and they died.  Lets not turn away humans fleeing war torn countries. They will face certain death should we send them back.  Could they go to another country, sure.  Canada said they'd gladly take them.  They have no reason to be scared.  But America....more specifically Trump and his posse, have just put a big old target on the USofA.  Which is really just the S of A now.

I have yet to hear one good reason why this ban is a good thing.  Sure, there are reasons.  But every damn one of the reasons is based on a lie.  Like, it will keep us safer.  Well, we were pretty safe before.  See the first paragraph.  And the ones that were responsible for 9/11?  15 of the 19 came from Saudi Arabia (not on the list of non acceptance).  See what happened in France?  France is totally different.  They don't have nearly the vetting process that we do so comparing them is like comparing the safety of allowing a 10 year old to drive or a licensed driver with a ten year clean driving record.

I hear so many people tell me I'm not being Christ like when I'm so flippantly opposed and downright mean to those that support this bill.  That I've got some sort of plank in my eye.  I was never trying to be Christ like to you.  How Christ like is it to deny widows and orphans entry to the US who are fleeing certain death?  So don't tell me about my plank when violence and murders between americans are still happening.  But we are telling WIDOWS and ORPHANS they aren't welcome here because they might be a terrorist.

The Eraser.

I was driving to work yesterday and happened to notice a sign outside a church that said....

"Life without Jesus is like a broken pencil, there is no point."

I gave it some thought.  I didn't really think about Jesus though.  I thought about the broken pencil.  Then I thought about how signs like this really don't do anything to help people understand the love that is Jesus.  Signs like this need to be thrown away.  Or perhaps a new one put up letting people know that this building is a place you can have your pencils repaired.  

Thomas Edison, clearly no point to his life.  

Sorry, I took a brief pause from writing to do a google query on "famous atheists that changed the world."  So many contributions made to society.  

You don't need Jesus to do good things.  You don't need Jesus to love people.  You don't need Jesus to care about those that are hurting.  You don't need Jesus to care for the widow and the orphan.  

Jesus can be your inspiration.  But God help us all if you found out Jesus was a myth and you quit your good contribution to society.  What am I getting at?  If Jesus is your only inspiration for helping people, I guess that's good.  But you'll lose steam.  You should help people because, well, they need help.   Jesus didn't feed the 5000 because they deserved it.  He fed them because they were hungry.  He wasn't thinking, if I don't feed them God will be disappointed in me mentality.

If you truly believe that life without Jesus has no point.   I feel sorry for you.  And I don't believe you have a real and authentic understanding of who Jesus is.  But that's probably not your fault.  You've probably not ventured far from the belief system that was handed to you since your birth.  Let me help you gain a new perspective on a broken pencil, instead of it being pointless.

Imagine a broken pencil.  Right in half.  Do you see trash?  A useless tool?  I don't.  And I don't think Jesus would either.  You could sharpen the half that has the eraser still attached and you just have a shorter pencil.  And whoever the recipient is of the message from the pencil, they'll never know the difference.   You could take the other side of the pencil and sharpen both ends.  That way it doesn't matter how you pick it up, you'll be able to write.  And you can keep the pencil with the eraser too, just in case you make a mistake.  So now you have three points you can use.  You can write three times longer before the pencil needs sharpened again.  

And lets not let forget....what is the coolest thing about a pencil anyway?  The eraser.  The great mistake remover.  Do I even need to elaborate..... Jesus was a healer.  He was a comforter.  He was rest for the weary and broken.  He can help you make peace with all your past mistakes and help you make better ones in the future.  I don't ever remember reading about him telling that if they didn't have him in their life they were worthless.  That doesn't sound like Jesus.  

So churches...be careful with the message you are sending.  Sometimes it's much more hurtful than it is helpful.  

Let's go to the Movies

Couple months ago I found myself stirring for entertainment after the kids were asleep and before I would go to bed.  I know it's an extreme privilege to have that option.  So I'm not really complaining.

There is a tremendous amount of viewing options.  My wife and I don't always share the same affinity for what we watch.  Speaking of viewing options...there are a lot of good shows.  A LOT.

Here's my problem.  We have about an hour to an hour and a half before we go to bed after the kids.  That's not quite enough time for a movie.  And when you pick a show, you aren't just committing to one night.  You are essentially committing to a several days to weeks of that one show.

Give me a movie.  I want to be able to start and finish a story line in one night.  I might die tomorrow.  I don't want anything unresolved.

Damn first world problems.  Seriously.  How pathetic is it that this is even something I wrote about.

But now that I'm hear.  What the Trump?  What the hell is he doing?  Is this what you wanted the 25% of you voters that voted for him.  3 executive orders in his first week.  Especially you Christians.  What part of what Trump is doing do you feel represents your Christ?  The ban on muslim immigration?  The gag orders?  Being a complete and total dick to the real Americans that have been here long before us? The building of a wall to keep out immigrants?   Kind of flies in the face of a lot of scripture...

But seriously.  Can someone who voted for Trump explain the thought process for all of this?

Don't mistake me, I wanted to give Trump the benefit.  But it's really hard to do that now.  REALLY HARD.  He's a con.  He can't handle criticism.  He puts gag orders on anything that may make him look bad.  DUDE.  YOU ARE THE PRESIDENT.  GROW A BACKBONE.  OR GO TO THERAPY.

Haiti on my Mind

December 2012 was the first time I set foot on Haitian ground.  I never knew how much my life would change because of it.  It shook me to my core.  I had never seen anything like Haiti.  I had never been outside of the US or Canada.  My vacation to Puerta Vallarta doesn't really count.  We were covered under the umbrella of Dreams Resort.

Since then I've been back around 10 times.  I've lost count.  I went 4 times that first year.  And at least 3 times a year since.  The last time I was there was April.  I had the wonderful opportunity of taking my wife and brother in law there for her second time and his first.  This is the longest it's been since I've been.  February 20th can't come soon enough.

Our sponsor child Noel awaiting someone to join him
on the see saw.  

There are a number of reasons for the delay in going back.  But something changed in me this time.  I've mentioned in previous posts about me struggling with anxiety.  I've also learned that I do many things with a hope in the back of my mind that I'd be recognized for whatever the thing is that I'm doing.  It's like I'm trying to fill some sort of hole in my heart to be something special, to be someone of importance.  I've learned since that that hole doesn't exist.  But I began to use my trips to haiti to try to fill that hole.  Sure, I loved being there.  I love all the kids we interact with.  Me being there are developing relationships is important for them.  But I couldn't be home more than a day or two till I had dates for my next trip.  It wasn't till this extended absence and having a trip fall through did I quite realize the impact my travels had had on me.  I also feel being on medication for anxiety and depression has helped me restructure my thoughts as well.  It's like I used to use my travels as some sort of badge of honor.  I used it as medication to help me feel better about myself.  Looking back on it, I guess it's not so bad.  There are much worse ways to self medicate.

But over the past few months, when I see photos of friends in haiti.  Something in me changes.  The feelings change.  There is a longing I have never felt before.  It's deep.  It's wonderful.  Even though I loved every part of Haiti, including the part that helped my own mind repair itself, I feel like I'm finally seeing it without the need to have it help me too.  I hear so many people return and say that they were ministered to just as much as they ministered.  This isn't a bad thing.  But there is no additional excitement about what Haiti will do for me while I am there, because I have worked out a lot of those things for me, here.

It's kinda like running.  Exercise is great therapy.  It's good for your mind.  We did some experimenting this summer before I was on medication for anxiety.  I had to go on a run or do some cycling every day to function well.  EVERY DAY.  Seriously.  We skipped a few days just to see how I would do mentally and I was a wreck.  I began to develop a distaste running or cycling.  Even though it was a good thing, I didn't want to "have" to do it.  I wanted to do it because I wanted to do it for the enjoyment of the sport.

Noel, 3 years after I first met him.  If you
had any idea the changes....

I finally am feeling that enjoyment and excitement for my next trip to Haiti.  I'm feeling good.  I'm going because I want to go.  Not because I feel like I have to go for any other reason.  Not out of guilt and not out of a desire to be something special.  I can't wait to see all those kids I've come to know over the past few years with a fresh set of eyes.

But to be there to watch this kid, Noel.  He is the child we sponsor.  To watch him grow up and be a part of his life...priceless.

So much more I'd love to write about.  If you are interested in a trip or would like to get involved, there are lots of opportunities and it's not as hard as you think.

I'm sorry if you felt that way

Why am I going to write all this?  Because.  Sometimes I feel like people get annoyed with me and how much I talk about the ketogenic diet, food and nutrition.  So I feel like I have to explain myself.  It could very well be my anxiety.  Most likely is.  I just want to reiterate, I don't want anyone to ever think that I judge someones character or who they are as a person by what they eat.  EVER.   So if anyone ever felt that way, I'm really sorry.  I just get excited about new stuff I learn.


I know.  I talk about the keto diet like it's the only way to eat.  I know I rave about all the health benefits.  I know I vilify sugar.  I'm now going to vilify soybeans and vegetable oils.  But what I don't want to do is ever come across critical of people and their decisions of what to do or not do.   I may criticize the foods you might eat, but that in no way is me being critical of you or your character.  At all.  Your health and what you eat is entirely up to you.   I know I can be annoying at times.  But you'll have to pardon my enthusiasm about finally taking control of my health.  I've been overweight.  I've struggled with using food to self medicate.  I've gained and lost over 100 pounds through various diets and exercise regimes and I finally found a way of eating that is healthy and I enjoy.   I just want people to be healthy and happy with themselves.  But I also know you don't have to be healthy to be happy with yourself.  

So when I write about diet and nutrition and you are happy and healthy, I'm not talking to you.  So don't think I am.  I'm actually really excited for you!   But there are some people out there that are sick and tired of their physical and maybe even mental health and the answer to their problems could very well be what they are eating or not eating!

The reason I get so ramped up is because there is a lot of new evidence that points to many ingredients found in common food products that cause lost of oxidative  stress to our bodies. Why is in there?  It's cheaper and easier.  But it's not good for you at all!  Things like simple sugars and vegetable oils.  Over time, these things cause lots of damage.  And often times, the problems don't show up for years.    Diabetes is a huge epidemic in America along with heart disease.  Some of this could be genetics, a lot of it is caused the foods we eat.   These ingredients effect all sorts of things even how our bodies heal from injury.

So please don't ever think I'm saying you aren't healthy because you aren't on a keto diet.  I'm just incredibly fascinated by nutrition and how it effects us.

Anxiety in the Gym

Last night, I had the wonderful opportunity to take my niece to her gymnastics lessons.

Never mind they misspelled "practicing"

Little background info.  3 months ago I would have found every excuse in the book to not go.  Anxiety is a bitch.  Walking into a new place not knowing what the layout is,  who will be there, where will I stand (or where will I hide?), and thinking that everyone there will be wondering who this new creepy guy is at gymnastics class are just some of things that would have crossed my mind.  I wish I was joking.  But this is anxiety.  Thankfully, a little white pill called Buspar has really helped me overcome.  You might laugh....but it's a real struggle for so many people.  

And here I sit, watching children of many different ages, ethnicities and sizes running around playing on trampolines, parallel bars, foam pits, rock walls, giant bungee cord jumping things, balance beams, vaults and just about everything that screams fun.  

Little more background info....anxiety also makes you a little bit paranoid that someone will get hurt.  At playgrounds and any other place children were running and playing, I was constantly scanning and trying to see every little thing that could possibly go wrong and do my best to prevent it.  

I've got none of those feelings now.  Kids will get hurt.  Yes, you want to keep them safe.  But accidents happen.  Maybe it's because my kids aren't out there doing all of these ground and aerial gymnastic moves.....yet.  This looks like fun.  This is the kind of stuff I wish I could have done as a child.  Hell...I wonder if they have grown up classes.  I could do all the things that don't involve my left wrist!

Anyway.  My niece seems to have a real knack for this stuff.  She really seems to enjoy it.  

So much to write about

Some days there is so much to write about and I don't feel like doing any of it.  So I'll just write about not wanting to write.

Screw it.  I don't even want to do that.

There's lots of hate out there on the internet.  There's lots of name calling, criticizing, condemning and flat out hurtful talk.  I don't want to add to that.  I've been trying to do a good job of not.  If it is criticism, I always mean it to be constructive.  Like when I question and call out christianity.  I'm not calling into question character of many people I know who call themselves christians.  I'm questioning the deep rooted ideologies and theologies that have now led Christianity to what it is today.   I think there is a disconnect between what we call Christianity in America and what the bible actually says.  People worship men, big wig preachers like Franklin Graham, Joel Osteen, John Piper, and so many others that I'm so far out of the loop I don't know who they are.

Anyway...here I go again.

What I wanted to say was that if you need to distance yourself from social media, do it.  You aren't going to miss out on anything.  There is nothing there that will add more value to your life than paying attention to those around you.

You phone can't give you a hug.

Yesterday I had the NFC Championship game on.  My son was grounded from electronic games for the day because of some poor behavior.  I was on my phone, reading through some Facebook groups when he asked me to read him a book.  For the first time in awhile, without hesitation I put my phone down, pulled him up on my lap and read to him.  There is NOTHING.  Let me repeat that.  There is NOTHING on your phone or Facebook that is more important then the real life people that are around you on a daily basis.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't one of those guilt trip messages about you being a shitty person for being on your phone at all times.  It's just a reminder that when there are real people in the vicinity, don't forget about them.  

Rock for Life

To be fair, I started this one a few days ago.

It's been well over 10 months straight of writing everyday.  While there is ALWAYS something to write about, I don't always want to.  But here I sit.  Writing about not really wanting to write, about a topic that I haven't decided on yet.

I was going to share a few thoughts on abortion.  But that would be really heavy and I don't want to go into great detail.  So I'll stick with my plan and share a ONLY a few thoughts and not go into great detail.  Pro-Choice does not mean Pro-Abortion.  I don't know of anyone that actually roots for abortions to happen.  Pro-Life doesn't really mean Pro-Life.  It usually means anti-abortion.  Being Pro-Life should not stop at the womb.  And last I checked, there was several million orphans around the world that need fed, housed and educated.  So for everyone that loves children, there's a lot of work that needs done.  Sadly, the majority of hurt that comes from abortions stems from hate filled, judgmental christians that just want to hear themselves talk about how bad abortion is.  Do your faith a favor and try love, grace, compassion, empathy and understanding.  You know...that stuff Jesus did.

I say that not to be condescending.  I think you believe that what you are doing is right.  I, too, was once on the pro-life side.  And speaking for myself, all I cared about was ending abortion.  I didn't really care about any of the live's that were impacted.  I still have a box that I carried guitar cables around that's filled up with "Rock for Life" stickers.  Some of them say, "Thanks, Mom.  I got born."  And even one that said "Abortion is Murder."

I do think that you care about life.  I just think that focusing on being anti abortion isn't the right way to go about promoting your zeal for life.  What about fighting to make it easier to get an adoption?  And how about programs to help support the mother who is giving her child up for adoption?  More education on what sex is, what it does and some of the results of being sexually active.  I just see way to many focused on just being anti-abortion, as if it wasn't obvious enough.  I'm with you.  I don't like that abortion's happen.  I wish that when finding out one is pregnant that a women is not so scared that she resorts to abortion.  How can we eliminate that fear?   Lets take a look at this passage from the book of 1 John.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. Whoever fears is not perfect in love.  We love Him because He first loved us.  If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar. For whoever does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?  We have this commandment from Him: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

To you pro-lifers, do women around the world get a feeling of love from you?  Have you asked?  Do you care?  Do you trust God enough that all you need to do is love one another despite the decisions that make?  

There...no stats.  No figures.  Just a few thoughts.  It's a deep topic with lots of emotions tied to it.

I have seen way to many "christians" call anyone that has had an abortion a murderer.  Please stop.  This is not helpful nor is it true.  Seriously...show me when Jesus would have done something like that.  And he lived in day when abortions happened in back alleys.  He knew about abortion, yet his primary message was to love people.   I know, it's complicated.

I would venture to guess that christianity's fear of talking about sex has led to more abortions than anything else.  There is a shame when it comes to sex in christian cultures.  Do you remember in church growing up, the flower?  It started as something beautiful then they passed it all around the room and when it got back it was missing pedals, leaves and all tattered.  Then it was used as an example of what you were if you had sex.  You were beautiful.  Then you shared yourself.  And now you aren't.  What bullshit.  What complete and utter bullshit.   I'm not sure how it is now in youth groups when the topic is brought up.  But I hope things like this don't happen.


So..christians.  Enough judging.  Enough stone throwing.   Enough trying to be the morality police.  You are just as immoral as anyone else.

God's Retirement Plan

This is tough one to tackle.  One that I should take a few days and do some studying or interviewing on.  But that would be out of character.

There is NOTHING in the bible that promotes saving money so you can quit your job and live off of your savings.  If there is, I'd love to see it.

So yes....this is for all those people that are devout christians and focused on building up a huge fund of money so you can relax and not worry about it when you are older.

Now, before you go getting defensive.  I'm not saying this is a bad thing.  I'm just saying that you can't defend it biblically.  You can defend being smart with your money.

I'm pretty sure there is some passages about storing up earthly treasures though.

Alright.  I'm not against retirement accounts.  I'm not against spending more than you need.  I'm more or less just stuck in this how to live out the bible in todays world mentality.  Culture is SO different now.  What it takes to take care of your family is so much different now than it was 2000 years ago.  Money was different then.  EVERYTHING was different.

I spend money foolishly on things I don't need.  I waste time foolishly on things that add no value to anyone but me, and that's debatable.  Enjoyable, yes.  Valuable?  Maybe.   But there are hundreds of millions of people in the world that are without food, water and shelter.  It would be easy for christians to meet all those needs.  Look at the numbers.

I've been wondering lately, what's the point of Christianity?  Most of the answers I get are to love one another unconditionally.  What does that look like?  And are you doing it?  When I look at the mass amounts of Christians in America...I don't see a whole lot of loving unconditionally.  Just being honest.  A few, sure.   Others say the goal is to spread the gospel to all the world.  Ok, if so, what are you waiting for?

I know not everyone is the perfect Christian. I know we were born into (most of us that were born and raised in America) a version of christianity that is most likely so far from what it was actually supposed to be.  A Christianity that's grown with America.  So for many, their faith is tied really close to what it means to be an american.  And I can't tell you how wrong I think this is.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  What do you treasure?

Trust me.  I've been kicking my own ass about the Christianity bit for awhile now.  

So, back to my question.  What's the point of Christianity.  Love God?  Love people?  What does that look like?  And what's the end goal?  I think it's so much more than going to church.  So much more than reading your bible.  So much more than just trying to pay bills and keep yourself comfortable.

And that's all for now.....

Photography. It's more than a nice Camera.

I did it.  A few years ago I sold some guns and bought another thing that shoots.  A Canon T2i.  It's a nicely priced DSLR Camera.  FYI, most people that own a dslr camera have no idea what dslr means.    I found out pretty quickly that it can take really nice photos.  I didn't even have to learn what ISO, Aperture or Exposure meant.  It had a really nice "auto" feature.  But that didn't stop me from messing with all the different settings and taking some really nice photos.  Especially paired with a little post processing from any of the hundreds of post processing apps available.  Why would I want to spend hundreds, if not thousands on a photoshop program?

I had an idea.  I could offer really cheap photography services.  It would be cheap enough that people wouldn't care if the photos were good, but not that good.  So I created a Facebook page.  I shot one wedding.  I will say though, I think I did a pretty damn good job.  

It's then I realized that there is more to photography than just taking a photo.  I didn't deserve the title of a photographer. The good ones spend years developing their craft.  It's what goes into lighting, angles, the shot itself, how the photo is saved, post processing and delivering the files in a way that doesn't lose quality.  There is so much.

But what is it about photography that captures me?  I think it's finding an angle to look at something that most people don't stop and look at.  Taking that shot and allowing people to see life from a whole different perspective.

Have you ever looked at the world like this?  It's no wonder I enjoy photography.

But, for the love of all professional photographers out there.  Just because you own a nice camera, it doesn't make you a photographer.  You can be really good at taking photos.  You can even get really good at finding subject matter for your photos.  You can be really creative.  But if you don't know what RAW is....keep it a hobby.

I still love taking pictures.  I love looking at things from a slightly different perspective, capturing it, and hoping that the rest of the people that see it enjoy it as much as I do.

This is one I took, probably one of my many favorites.  To me, the story behind the photo is often times more important than the photo itself.  It's the memories.  This was in an old tractor shed just after the equally old tractor was started.  It created a massive dust storm that revealed the light rays from the sunshine coming through holes created by a perhaps poor judgement shot from a shotgun.  To me, it was just a cool photo.  But to those that grew up on that property, the memories it brings back are what's really important.

Anxiety Triggers

Would you believe technology?  Yes.  I've realized it's one of my triggers.  I don't understand it.  I don't understand the cloud.  I don't understand much about how computers work and all the lingo.  I don't understand how apple id's work very well.  Getting a new phone scares the shit out of me because I don't really know how to sync anything or back it up so I'm worried i'll lose all my contacts and information.

Somehow it always manages to stick around, minus a few apps.  But God help me if it signs me out of my gmail account on the mail app.  

When my wife asks me to transfer photos from her phone to the computer I freak out.  Can I do it?  Sure.  But I don't really know what I'm doing and I don't want to save them to the computer and use up space, but I can't figure out how to get them to an external hard drive.  And then what?  They just stay there.  For how long?  I worry about what we are going to do with all our photos.  I wonder if the kids will even care.

They will grow up in a time when they will see so many pictures of themselves they might not even care to look at them.  And will they want to sort through hundreds of thousands of photos?  Probably not.  How do we decide which ones to save?  I guess they'll never know which ones we got rid of though!

And then lets talk about programs for kids.  Ours are getting to the age that we want to sign them up for some things.  Where do we learn about these programs?  What if we miss the sign ups?

I feel like there are so many options for stuff to do out there that it makes some people just want to not do anything.  The paradox of choice is overwhelming and we end up with decision fatigue.

Speaking of kids, screaming, running, loud and crazy kids would always trigger my anxiety too.  Someone will get hurt.  I had to keep them all under control so that didn't happen.  Anyone with kids knows that does't really work.

I also realized that I am a huge words of affirmation guy.  Or just words guy.  I like to communicate.  So what would happen was that if I didn't hear from someone that I tho
ught I should be in communication with, I would assume they were upset or unhappy with something I did or was doing.

And lets not forget parenting.  Worrying about screwing my kids up.

Thankfully...I got on some new anti-anxiety meds about 2.5 months ago and have finally been able to recognize some of these triggers.  It's made life much better.

Anxiety is a real thing.  It's not just an emotion.  It's not just worry.  It's at times crippling.

25% ain't bad

First off...I should not have just created a Bone, Thugs & Harmony radio station on Pandora.  I'm incredibly distracted right now by the incredible sounds of Notorious Thugs.  Typically I listen to the sounds of Volcano Choir, The Oh Hellos, Lord Huron, Bon Iver,  Radical Face, and several others on my Indie Folk Revival Pandora station.  It's easier just to listen to that in the background.

Secondly, when you go in public today, remember that only 1 out of every 4 registers voters voted for Trump.  So basically just about 25% of Americans.

Also, the same percentage of people voted in the 2016 as they did in the 2012 election.  Roughly 55%.

So 3 out of 4 registered voters either don't care that Trump is president or voted against Trump.

I wonder how that feels for the President that is Donald Trump.  I don't think it's a shocker to him.  But I wonder what he feels knowing that 75% of of voters either don't care he's in office or oppose him.

I'm curious to see what the next 4 years brings.  Ironically...Gangsta's Paradise just came on.

I started listening to a new podcast yesterday with Adam Carolla.  It's called Car Cast.  He was talking about how comfortable our lives are.  That we even have things like pajamas that double as blankets and inflatable penis's.   So he's decided to do things that force him to be uncomfortable.  Like do cold water immersion.  Must be rough, walking out your backdoor to the pool.  Maybe you should try driving to a lake or pond and jump in even colder water.  In one of your million dollar cars.

I'm not ripping Carolla, I actually think he has a great point.  Our fight, flight, or freeze response rarely gets activated.  Most of us have no idea what being uncomfortable really is.  Even those of US that struggle with various things, we have lots of access to healthcare and other coping mechanisms.

Anyway....I don't really have a point.  I'm just saying that we maybe out to force ourselves at times to be a little more uncomfortable.  Start taking away some things, do some fasting of sorts.  Just to be prepared.  Just in case....

Do you think you could survive without the internet?  Seriously. Try it for an hour and see how you do.

Automatic Boobs

This one is a little different.  Automatic boobs.  What's this about?  I'm not sure exactly what conversation led to this idea, but I think it's a pretty dang good idea.  

Now, I'm coming at this from a male perspective.  But from what I understand, many women want bigger breasts.  But what I also hear is that bigger breasts are more difficult to deal with when running or doing other aerobic activities.  So.....why not get adjustable size breast implants.  I know I should patent this idea, but I won't.  My record of coming up with it first will remain here.  

Not anymore! Thanks to Adjust'a Boob!

Somewhere on/in the body, depending on which package you purchase, a small pump is placed.  It is connected to a slimly shaped reservoir of whatever fluid is used to enlarge breasts.  That reservoir will be connected via very small tubes to each breast implant.  The pump will be connected via iPhone app and you can adjust the size of your breasts using bluetooth technology.  

When the breasts are drained for workout/running purposes, the fluid will be drawn into the thin reservoir that will be conveniently tucked into your body.  The location of this will be dependent on the body composition of the patient.  The battery for the pump will be able to be charged wirelessly.  Depending on what package you purchase you could have an auxiliary input.  The pump and reservoir would be kept external and you'd attach to your breast using a small connected hidden discreetly somewhere on your body.  Perhaps your belly button.  

Then when you want to go full breast, you pump them back up.  Voila.  The best of both worlds.  

I know...this seems extreme and will probably never happen.  But what a great idea.  I don't imagine we are far off, or maybe even there that we implant devices that can be controlled or adjusted wirelessly. 

There is also a mans version in the making...specifically helpful for those with erectile dysfunction.  

Bonus Blog of the day

I write every day.  I just do.  It's something I started last March 16.  And I've done it EVERY DAY since.

It's hard to find stuff to write about EVERY DAY.

It's hard enough to do something EVERY DAY for almost a year.

Sometimes I write great blogs, sometimes I don't.

EVERY DAY I put myself in a vulnerable position by sharing this stuff.  I've had to apologize multiple times for speaking out of line.  That's a risk I take.  I don't mind apologizing.

I've heard to learn to be ok with being wrong.

I've tried really hard to not intentionally be mean to people or any group.

I've tried really hard to express myself and my feelings in a way that doesn't attack others.

I'm not perfect.

And my blogs are not the entirety of my being.  They are snippets.  Sometimes I write about things so contrary to how I actually feel just to put something on screen.

I may be a prisoner to my habit.

This whole thing has been a learning experience for me.  You can trust me when I say I'm learning about how to approach conflict and concerns in a way that brings people together instead of separating them.  I'm not always good at it...but is anyone?  And if you think you are.....let's see it!

PROVE IT!

Magic? Mystery? Maybe? or Complete Bullshit?

TL, DR.  You don't need to spend $1500-$2000 a year using a "fat burning keto" powder.  

A couple months ago when I started my ketogenic lifestyle and was getting great results I came across a website called...well, I won't tell you.  But I was interested in keto and cycling and it was speaking my language.  That is, until I learned they were pushing a product and not an actual diet and lifestyle change.  And I almost bought into it.  I almost joined another MLM.  I believed it would work.  But then I came to my senses.  And remember that I had vowed to never try to get rich selling products that people don't need.  So I turned it down.

And ever since I've tried to be nice about it because many people are being deceived by it's distributors.

Rewind.  What is a ketogenic diet?  Ketosis is a process which burns creates ketone bodies to use for fuel, alongside burning stored body fat or ingested fat.  It's natural and safe.  Though it is a diet you do need to pay attention to for a while since nobody living today is used to eating this way.  We've mainly been providing energy from carbohydrates for the better part of the last 30-40 years.  This isn't wrong, it's just hard to stop at enough carbs and not overindulge resulting in those excess carbs turning to stored body fat.

But there are some out there using a product called Keto o/s.  It's exogenous ketones.  They put ketones in a packet so you can use them for energy and to put you in a state of ketosis.  It was initially created for Navy Seals to enhance their cognitive ability in intense situations.  I don't argue it can do that.  I've felt the effects of keto on the brain.

Ok...end of the day, because I don't want to spend to much time here.  You don't need Keto o/s.  If you want another expensive "easy" way to lose weight, go for it.  It might work.  I have no idea.  But know that whoever sells it to you is making money off of it and doesn't actually care about your health.  They think they do, but they don't.  I've been in an MLM before and know how it works.

The person that wants to help you get into ketosis naturally is doing it for free.  They stand nothing to gain financially, only helping you get healthier and develop proper eating habits.

It really grinds my gears when people who I've seen lose 60+ pounds over the past 6 months care about their friends and offer their guidance, only to have a  keto o/s salesperson come in and insist they need their product.  YOU DON'T.

In the rare, case, you might.  But you won't know until months or years of attempting keto on your own.  I know a doctor that follows a keto diet and promotes it to all his patients.  He takes keto o/s as a supplement.  Keto o/s is actually marketed as a supplement, by the way.  SUPPLEMENT.  Look it up.  But he doesn't produce a high amount of ketones on his own and cortisol from his stressful job doesn't help.  So he supplements...fine.  He's using the product the right way.  And this is the ONLY way I'd be comfortable selling it.

I don't want to argue that people would get fat loss results with keto o/s.  So if you take it, fine.  If you want to spend around $150-200 a month with this product, fine.  If you want to save money and actually follow a ketogenic diet, let me know.  I'll help you.  It's not a hard diet to follow.  In fact, I often feel like I am cheating with some of the foods I'm allowed to eat.  There is a lot of misinformation about the Ketogenic diet.  It's not magic.  It's not a mystery.  It's what our bodies were designed to do.

But like anything, being healthy takes work with all the options we have for "food" out there.  Especially when a lot of that "food" engages pleasure receptors in our brains.  Then it's not just our bodies that crave certain foods, it's our minds.  That's where the battle lies...it always has.  Our brains.

You know what's not natural?  Eating whatever you want and taking a product that magically burns fat instead of what you just ate.  I'm not saying that's the claim from the company...but that's how I've heard it marketed.  Just be careful.

Do Puppies have Birth Rights?

Today, I wasn't going to go here.  But all the other topics that I had were really low hanging fruit.  From teachers in childrens church telling young kids that they are NOT amazing and that only God is to a white dude equating him paying taxes to people of color still not being free.  These were easy.

Or I could stretch myself and talk about K9 reproductive rights.  Mind you this is all off the top of my head with very minimal "researching" of the topic.  That's something to keep in mind with all my posts.  I'm merely scratching the surface of most things.  Don't just take my word for stuff....

You've heard Bob Barker (kind of ironic, Barker) say at the end of every Price is Right episode reminding everyone to have their pets spayed or neutered.  In doing so, rights given to them by their creator to bear offspring are taken away by you.  You choose that for your pet.  I'm not saying that's right or wrong.  I'm just saying.  I'm certainly all for it.  There would be hellacious amounts of dogs and cats running around if we didn't.   Owning a pet is a privilege.  They cost a lot of money and require a tremendous amount of care and attention.  I'm not saying that to be controversial, I'm just saying.  In order to adopt a pet you have fees and you have to be prequalified by the adoption agency to prove that you are a capable and responsible pet owner.

But what about when you have a dog that does get pregnant?  What if you don't want puppies?  What do you do?  Yes, abortion for dogs is a thing.

Many people just dump the puppies off at a shelter, or worse, the side of some back country road and leave them for dead.  But sometimes, they give them away.  No adoption agency, no fees, no meetings to see if they are responsible.  Nothing.

But what would be better for those puppies in the long term?  You'd spend few months at a dog shelter with 3.9 million other dogs (estimated but approximate number) that have also been dropped off only to have a 2/3 chance of being adopted or survive the next year.  1/3 of those puppies will be killed.  This is probably why Bob Barker encouraged everyone to have their pets spayed or neutered.

So where was I going with all this?  I know some people are pet lovers and will be moved by all of that.  Which is great.  We have a dog, he's old.  15 is very old for a dog.  He's going to die soon and I'd like to get another dog.  But this isn't to encourage everyone to go adopt a dog.

I just wonder if the orphan crisis around the world moves people more than what happens to dogs.  Did you know over 10% of the WORLD'S children aged 11 or under are working as child laborers?  Read that, child slaves.   There are also 140 million children worldwide that are currently orphans.  1 in every 8 babies are born into some time of war/conflict.

Let's take it to America.   There are 400,000 kids in the foster care and about 100,000 waiting to be adopted.  But of those 30,000 age out of foster care every year and lose all benefits.

These are children.  I just hope those that oppose abortion so much, are also doing an equal or greater amount of work to take care of the children that are already alive and don't have families.  But sadly...I don't think that's happening.  And the excuses are a plenty.

This one did stretch me a bit....and it deserves a hell of a lot more time than 20 minutes.  Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about my experience with orphans.

The Art of the Joke

Well, I guess not so much about jokes.

I think a lot of times ignorance breeds fear.  When we don't understand something it's easier to joke about it or just be afraid of it.  It's almost like the thing becomes less than human.  We can start to try to make sense of the thing we don't understand, or we can just write it off.  Sometimes even joke about it.

I've seen many make jokes about homosexuality, mentally handicapped, transgenderism, black lives matter and many other social constructs.  I believe this jokes come from a misunderstanding and unwillingness to empathize.

It's easier to crack a joke.  It's easier to ignore.  It's easier to find the things that are wrong about others.  It's not easy to walk a mile in their shoes.

And I don't even want to throw jokesters under the bus.  I believe they have some deep hurts and wounds in their own life that they've been avoiding.

This world is vast and complex.  You don't have to understand everything.  You don't have to know the ins and outs of how the world works and how people act.  So when something comes up that you don't understand, that's ok.  You can ignore it and just see people.  There's no room to make jokes belittling people you've never met.  

That's all.  Just think before you make a joke.  People go see comedians because they want to laugh.  They know they are going to hear jokes.  Comedians know everyone in their audience is expecting a joke and nothing is to be taken seriously.  But guess what, jokes can still hurt.  They can still cut at people.  And I don't want to put this on comedians...I know it's not their intent to hurt people.  There is an art to comedy.  There is an art to poke fun at different demographics in a way that builds them up rather than bringing them down.  Many great comedians have figured that out.  That's why they are great.  

I used to not want to go to comedy shows because the first one I went to the comedian, whom I can't remember, made jokes about everyone in the room.  It was awful.  It was a time I needed comedy in my life, laughter is good for the soul.  I was picked on at church, I was picked on at school, and I thought going to see a comedian would be fun.  It was anything but.

I love trying to make people laugh.  But if that laughter is at the expense of someone else, it's not really helping them much is it?

Fasting, and why you should do it.

Just a heads up.  I'm not an expert on this topic.  I'd say consult your doctor before starting anything new with your diet.  But you probably don't even consult your doctor about your diet now.  And doctors aren't nutritionists.  There are so many chemicals in food today that interact with your brain through your gut.  It would be unfair to expect doctors to be able to understand all of what's wrong with you without knowing everything you are eating.  So when I say consult your doctor, consult them as much as you already do.  They treat your symptoms.  What's the best way to avoid all the chemicals in todays foods?  Eat real food.  What's real food?  Everything not in the middle of the grocery store.  That's a good place to start.  Although generalizing.  There are some awful refrigerated foods too, but even those are on the inside fridges, not along the outside.

Anyway.  I wanted to write a little bit about fasting.  I read a number of responses from people about what they thought of when the term "fasting" was brought up.  Many just gave a definition, but for others it left a real bad taste in their mouth.  See what I did there?   As far as I know there is two ways most people have heard about fasting.  The first is from a medical perspective.  Fasting before bloodwork, surgery or another type of procedure.  These are most likely water only from anywhere from 12-48 hours.  The other place is from church.  A type of religions fast designed to make you give up something that you frequent.  For many people this is food.  In the bible it talks about fasting for spiritual reasons and that Jesus fasted for 40 days.  I don't recommend this.  Though I know many that are following a highly restricted food intake plan that can go as long as 21 days or longer.  There was even a man that did a type of fast for over 300 days and lost around the same amount of weight.  However, with those extended fasts, there are times of intentional eating.  But it's minimal.

I think the church has made fasting seem like you are being deprived of something instead of focusing on the "why" behind the fast.  It's more about what you are giving up then what you are striving to attain.  They make it seem like it's going to be really hard to not eat for a day or three depending on the length of the fast.  Last I checked, the church is not a nutritionist.  But yes, it is hard.  Your body is used to eating every 2-3 hours.  And when you stop, it's not happy.  It now has to work and do what it was designed to do. There are some people that have some medical conditions that shouldn't decide today they want to fast and start tomorrow.  Diabetics, for example.  Anyone with hypoglycemia.  Fasting though, is not out of the question.  You just need a few weeks or months to change your eating habits to make fasting possible and seek the advice of a professional or someone that's treated those disease with nutrition.   There are also those with eating disorders that ought to have that treated prior to doing a proper fast as well.

Back to Jesus.  When Jesus fasted, people were not eating the same diet as we do.  They
didn't have complex carbs, twinkles, ho-ho's, chips, bread on every counter, or the massive amounts of plants we do today.  I'd be willing to bet they were in a pretty good state of ketosis or their bodies were primed to burn fat.  They most likely at more fats and proteins than anything else.  So fasting wasn't as much of a shock to the system as it would be for us.  That allowed them to focus more on the connection to God than it did how their bodies were responding.  If you have a carbohydrate rich/low fat diet and go a few hours without food, I'd be willing to bet you aren't doing anything but focusing on the havoc that is happening in your body.  But if you tough it out.  By the start of day 3...you probably feel a lot better.  You have entered ketosis.  And while you aren't that good at using your own body fat, your body is happily producing ketones for you to use for fuel.  Studies have suggested that your body runs 70% better on ketones.

That all being said.  Do you have to fast?  Nope.  Should you?  Yep.  But what if multi day fasts aren't your thing.  You can still get a lot of benefits by Intermittent fasting.  The easiest way to do this?  Overnight.  Stop eating as early as you can, say 6pm.  And then only drink water until lunchtime the next day.  And don't go carb heavy at lunch.  Eat a light meal with some healthy fats. If you can do this a few times a week you'll burn a significant amount of body fat as well as benefit in many other ways.  All of those can be found here, citing various resources as well.  I highly encourage you to check them out.  

The Pacifist Missionary. I Really Want to Believe.

Christians lay down your guns

They will fail you on the battleground of love

Christians lay down your arms of hate

And stretch out your arms of love

Lay your life on the line for the persecuted 

Lay your life on the line for the persecutor

Lay your life on the the line for Jesus

For Jesus laid his life on the cross for us, 

the sinner the saint   

I wrote that.  Few years ago.  When I was just beginning the depths of the de/re construction of my faith.  I listened to several podcasts on pacifism at the time.  I still think that nothing can be solved by fighting.  Only delayed, or suppressed.  Which isn't always a bad thing.  I know it's sometimes difficult decisions have to be made.  But after a few years of reading and praying about it, I'm convinced Jesus doesn't want anyone to be hurt or be killed.  The main verse many people cite when trying to convince one Jesus was in favor of violence was when he talk his disciples to get a sword if they had none.  And the other when He says he came not to bring peace but a sword.  

Context is huge in this.  Jesus told his disciples two swords were enough.  Really?  Two swords were enough to defend all 12 in a scuffle when everyone had a sword?  And they didn't want to stand out, criminals had swords and they wanted to blend in.  Remember, at this time the disciples and Jesus were wanted men.  And a sword was needed in the Garden.  Remember when Peter sliced off the ear of a roman soldier and Jesus healed it?  It was then Jesus said if you live by the sword you die by the sword.  Which I believe to mean exactly what it means.  That the battle they were fighting is not going to be one by earthly measures.  

Hoping that I hear this call, and I
recognize it clearly. 

And that he came not to bring peace but a sword?  What does a sword do?  It slices, divides.  I came not to bring peace but division.  It's hard to live like Jesus.  I think there is a tension between people that truly live out Christ's commandments and those that merely go to church every Sunday.  It's one of the reasons I've stopped calling myself a Christian.  I don't want to pretend.  I don't want to be warm.  Jesus said be hot or cold.  But NEVER be lukewarm.  Being cold is better than half assing christianity.  If you believe in the bible, if you believe in the afterlife of heaven and hell, why are you so consumed by the things of this world?  Why do you spend 8-10 hours a day working a job so you can be comfortable?  Are there still people in the world that need Jesus?  If so, what are you waiting for?  Why waste time?  

Is it because you don't really believe?  That you like Christianity because it makes you feel good, but you don't really believe all the other stuff.  That you've created a christianity that fits your mold.  

Again...there are literally, hundreds of books on this topic.  And I've only scratched the surface.  I don't want to argue.  I'm not directly accusing anyone.  I'm just sharing the thoughts of where I'm at, where I've been and where I might be headed.  

I really want to believe in the story of Christianity.  I really do.  Sure is hard to do that when you have people like Donald Trump saying he'll be the best example of christians.  Is he wrong or right?  Hard to tell.   

When I think of Christians, I think of all my friends that have decided to live an uncomfortable life so they can make the lives of those in poor conditions a little more comfortable.  I have to think this is what God wants.  To care for the widow and the orphan.  Or really, to care for those that have a hard time caring for themselves.  Knowing that we all die, perhaps God wants to see how you'll respond to the least of these.  Will it be sacrificing your own comfort for their sake?  Or will it be trying to make yourself more and more comfortable?  I have to believe that it's not easy, but I also have to believe that anyone that does choose that path is glad they did.  

And the reward....if you believe in heaven, heaven.  

Stop Believing It

It's frustrating.  All the different ways we are lied to.  And sometimes we don't even know it's a lie.  And when you believe a lie, you repeat the lie.  Read, fake news.

It's everywhere.  And we all read it and believe it.  Not even the heavy stuff.  It's not even about the news articles that surface about people in power, scandals and all that other stuff.  It's not about bills that are passed or who said this or that.  Although, those are damaging as well.

It's about life.  Believe this, believe that.  Do life this way.  Do life that way.  There is not one special way.

So many people are focused on the short term.  Which is ok, you want to feel good now.  But not a whole lot of people think long term.  How will the decisions I make today effect me 10 years from now?  It's hard to know the answer to that, so many people just choose what makes them feel good now.

There's a quote that's been around for awhile by Maya Angelou, "At the end of day people won't remember what you said or did, they'll remember how you made them feel."

I'm not always good at that.  I never learned how to really build people up.  I learned how to get through each day.  It's hard when you are 34 years old and you need to learn things about life that you should have learned when you were 5.  It's hard when you need to learn these things AND teach your children these things at the same time.

And I know, it's not always about making people feel good.  But it's about keeping the best interests of others and yourself as a top priority.

Creating a Reputation of Dishonesty and Selfishness

Yep.  That's America.   I'm just gonna write some thoughts down here from a "This American Life" podcast I heard yesterday.  I'm sure I have a few details wrong.  But you can listen to it for yourself here.  Episode 607. 

Imagine you are young child, a boy, and you are living in Iraq.  All of the sudden your mom or dad leaves home for 27 days each month to go work the US Army as a translator and information gatherer.  Your mom does so good at her job and gathers more special intel than anyone in the history of the unit.  Your dad goes and fights against ISIS and is killed.  Those that killed him were overheard celebrating that they they killed your dad.  Because he was the husband of your mom.

Your mom was a hero for the US.

And when the US pulls out of Iraq, she becomes an enemy of ISIS.  And she is denied entry to the US.  DENIED ENTRY.  She was a hero and a saved hundreds, if not thousands of American lives.  But because she was falsely accused by an anonymous source that she had ties to isis, this is on her record.  This case was also thrown out in court by an American judge for having insufficient evidence.

While in jail for this false accusation, $20,000 from her living quarters was stolen from her.  She couldn't keep it in a bank, banks weren't safe.  But yet, she still protects her family when she gets out.

She takes you and your siblings to Jordan to live.  If she hadn't, you'd all be dead.  You won't be growing up with an education.  You won't have a good life at all now.  It will be the same old....

All because, despite the letters of recommendation from hundreds of AMERICAN Soldiers, immigration control won't let her in because of that one tiny proven false accusation.  

How do you feel about America?  I'd be upset.  I'd be furious.  My mom laid her life on the line for America and now we are being treated like shit and being denied access to safety.  Because if it wasn't for my mom...America wouldn't have had the success it did.  Many more would have died.

I'd probably end up not giving a shit about America and maybe even want to get back at them.  Anger would grow.  

We used them.  Even if they were never gauranteed anything other than a paycheck, their lives are now at risk because of the help they gave us.  And we left them for dead.  Is that what we do?  Leave people that help us for dead?

I don't believe these are unique stories.  I believe there are hundreds of thousands of stories like this.  Our own fear of welcoming people is most likely the very thing that will create what we are afraid of.

Just thinking out loud.  I know there is always more to every story.  But I feel people like Sarah, the woman in the podcast, deserve a first class ticket with her and her children to America.

What kind of reputation are we leaving?  Do you even know?  I don't.

The Power of the W

I don't know how many times I've heard someone say I have a lot of will power.  Especially when it comes to dieting and losing weight.  Yes, that's the first W power.  I hate that.  I don't have will power.  If I had will power I wouldn't have had to gain and lose 30 pounds on 4 different occasions over the past 10 years.  Will power has nothing to do with it.  Will power comes into play when your back is against the wall and the outcome could be a disaster if you don't do something.  That's Will.  

I have a fair amount of want power.  The power you get when you want to do something.  When you want to accomplish something.  Want power is pretty good to have.  You get stuff done.  Lot's of people have want power.  

But so many people give to much energy to their other W power.  Won't Power.  Won't power isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It's just the power that says you won't do something.  

But there is one more W word that you need if you want to maintain a lasting result or effort for anything you do.  One big takeaway I had from Amway was a phrase, and it's not Amway specific.  "Don't worry about the how.  As long as you know why you are doing something, the how will take care of itself."  That's right....it's your Why power.  This will give you great strength.  If you don't have a big Why, your will, want and won't don't really put their own....weight.  

When you have a solid "why", will, want and won't work really well together.  You know what you want, you know what you don't want, and the why gives life to the will.  

Well.  That's where....totally kidding.  I'm not going to keep coming up with W words.  Word.  

Yes, I do still read the Bible.

"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help."    Romans 14

There was an article floating around the internet saying that the Bible says we should be Vegetarian because we are supposed to care for animals or something like that.  In the comment section someone posted this response saying that it doesn't really matter what people eat.

Except...this verse has absolutely nothing to do with food.  And it got me pretty good.  I don't always see eye to eye with much of modern American Christianity.  But technically I guess I have to let God sort all that out.  However, when I see Christians hurting others in the name of Jesus, I most certainly will speak up.  And I see a lot of that happening on social media platforms.

This verse is about putting your theology, education, and understanding of scripture to the side and welcoming a brother/sister to the table.  Do you have the business of crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's Welcome?   See Passion 2017, Carrie Underwood.  Except that Passion is not God's event.  It is a mans event.  If corrections are to be made, God can handle that without your help.  And yes....I know that applies to me as well.  I trust that God will make it incredibly clear to the American Family Association that it's ok for "sinners" to lead worship.

Beth Moore 

I remember who I used to be.  I changed.  And people like Christian leader Beth Moore tells me that I'm being used by the devil.  Well, maybe she is the one being used by the devil.  How is this for accepting all believers at Christ's table?  What if the TRUTH IS LOVE? What was that number one commandment, Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.  And God says, through scripture in Romans 1 that you can love him without ever knowing what  bible is or who Jesus is.

So....yeah.  I guess I'm not much better.  I'll let God sort out Beth Moore.  And instead I'll continue to focus my efforts on healing myself and many others relationships with God and Jesus that have been hurt by christianity.

Eat this, Don't Eat that. And Read your Bible.

Sometimes I get a lot of pushback for talking to much about my keto diet.  Lets start with the definition of diet, the types of foods that a person, animal or community generally eat.  That's the number one definition of diet.  Most people think about slim fast, weight watchers, dry chicken, low fat yogurt, and some type of God knows what shake.  Keto is most definitely not that.

Remember though, I'm not a doctor.  This is just information I've gathered over 6 months of reading about Keto diets and nutrition and listening to over 400 hours of podcasts on the topic.  I still could be wrong though.

Some people say it's crazy to not eat carbs.  I say it's no more crazy the need to take medication so you can continue to eat a diet that is not good for you.  That's what insulin is.  But before I go to far down that rabbit hole, I'll stop.  I'm not saying everyone needs keto.  Lots of people can eat a healthy, balanced diet that works for them to help keep them healthy.  And I'm not talking simply about weight and appearance.  But the health of everything inside your body like organs.

So what does a healthy diet look like if you aren't eating Keto?  For me, when I decided enough was enough I weighed in at over 220 and was making VERY poor food choices basically eating whatever and whenever I wanted I would have to consume 55g of fat a day, 181g of protein, and 193g of carbohydrate. This is a diet to lose weight being lightly active.  This is only a 2000 calorie diet.  I don't think I could actually do that and enjoy the foods and amounts of it that I had to eat to get healthy and lose weight.  How do I know this? I've lost and regained about 75 pounds doing diets this way.  Here is the macro calculator I used for this. 

If you think you are eating fine and healthy, I highly recommend tracking your macronutrients to see how they add up.

I don't go off diet for a cheat meal.
I don't need to.  Not because I'm strict,
but because of the foods you are allowed
to eat on a keto diet are so good. 

Food is hard.  So much of it is so good.  I get it.  Why couldn't I follow a "regular" diet?  I've been addicted and have an unhealthy relationship with food.  And in some cases, I still do.  So don't ever think I'm being preachy or judging.  I'm not.  Me saying "I'm better for doing these things" is NOT the same as me saying "I'm better than you because I do these things".  Never.  I don't think I'm better than anyone else.

So what did I have to eat on Keto?  Here is a good Keto Macro Calculator. This is when I started...200g of fat, 99g of protein and 20g or less of Carbohydrates.  I rarely reached my fat mark and lost 20 pounds the first month of eating this way. I've lost 35 pounds within two months and have been able to maintain that eating what I want, when I want it.  I found what works for me.  Now I'm onto the next phase....losing another twenty pounds.

So...to recap.  It's not about Keto.  It's about eating the right foods AND the proper amounts.  Do it for a few days.  Download an app like My Fitness Pal or Carb Manager and see what the macronutrient amounts are that you are eating.  Track EVERYTHING that has calories.  Don't worry about tracking your exercise as well.  You already adjusted your numbers for your activity level.

I forgot about the bible part.  I'll do that tomorrow.