Getting Late and I'm Coming Up Empty

I'm a little over 300 days into writing everyday.  300 days of waking up at 5:30am to do some writing.  Granted, a handful of those days I wrote something the night before.  But I still woke up and did some finishing touches and published it.

 I started this as an outlet.  I found myself getting way to deep on so many Facebook posts and it didn't take long for a conversation to turn into a heated discussion and sometimes an argument.  I didn't like that.  I never want those.  I truly don't think people would talk like that in person if they knew each other.  But when you encounter someone on Facebook who you don't know who has an opposing viewpoint, it's kinda like you get to talk to someone that doesn't exist.  I don't believe we were designed to have purely digital relationships.

or not believe....

Let me try to explain my thought better.  When you read something by someone you don't know on Facebook who presents something you don't agree with, you can choose to ignore or challenge.  I think though, that this person on the other end, isn't really recognized in our brain as a person.  It's a digital interaction with a computer screen that doesn't really have feelings.  So it's kind of like an unrestricted conversation.  However, that's not really what's happening.  There are people on both ends of that conversation that have a story and a reason for believing what they do.   And if that conversation gets personal, it opens up the door for you to self reflect and give voice to all your insecurities.  

Back to my blog.  I write everyday to dump all the stuff out of my head here so it doesn't come up in everyday conversation.  Not everyone goes deep as I go.  I take stuff way deep.  I take thoughts, ideas and situations to places no man has ever seen before.  If I do that in everyday conversation, both real or digital, it doesn't always go well.  So I leave many of them here.  I still post them in case anyone wants to engage.

But I've gotten to the point where I don't think I need to write everyday.  But I want to get up and write anyway.  It's kind of a habit now.

I think I need a life coach.  Not like a rah rah motivational speech person.  But someone to actually coach me at life.  I'm 34.  This is something that should have been started at 14...unfortunately, that didn't happen.  But now that I'm finally starting to get a handle (or so it seems) I actually feel like I can do something other than just maintain and try not to screw things up.  That I can actually live up to the potential other people see in me.