Anxiety Triggers

Would you believe technology?  Yes.  I've realized it's one of my triggers.  I don't understand it.  I don't understand the cloud.  I don't understand much about how computers work and all the lingo.  I don't understand how apple id's work very well.  Getting a new phone scares the shit out of me because I don't really know how to sync anything or back it up so I'm worried i'll lose all my contacts and information.

Somehow it always manages to stick around, minus a few apps.  But God help me if it signs me out of my gmail account on the mail app.  

When my wife asks me to transfer photos from her phone to the computer I freak out.  Can I do it?  Sure.  But I don't really know what I'm doing and I don't want to save them to the computer and use up space, but I can't figure out how to get them to an external hard drive.  And then what?  They just stay there.  For how long?  I worry about what we are going to do with all our photos.  I wonder if the kids will even care.

They will grow up in a time when they will see so many pictures of themselves they might not even care to look at them.  And will they want to sort through hundreds of thousands of photos?  Probably not.  How do we decide which ones to save?  I guess they'll never know which ones we got rid of though!

And then lets talk about programs for kids.  Ours are getting to the age that we want to sign them up for some things.  Where do we learn about these programs?  What if we miss the sign ups?

I feel like there are so many options for stuff to do out there that it makes some people just want to not do anything.  The paradox of choice is overwhelming and we end up with decision fatigue.

Speaking of kids, screaming, running, loud and crazy kids would always trigger my anxiety too.  Someone will get hurt.  I had to keep them all under control so that didn't happen.  Anyone with kids knows that does't really work.

I also realized that I am a huge words of affirmation guy.  Or just words guy.  I like to communicate.  So what would happen was that if I didn't hear from someone that I tho
ught I should be in communication with, I would assume they were upset or unhappy with something I did or was doing.

And lets not forget parenting.  Worrying about screwing my kids up.

Thankfully...I got on some new anti-anxiety meds about 2.5 months ago and have finally been able to recognize some of these triggers.  It's made life much better.

Anxiety is a real thing.  It's not just an emotion.  It's not just worry.  It's at times crippling.