Just kidding, I already kicked the dog once.
Still kidding. I didn't kick the dog and I don't think I'm an asshole. But I was. Back when I was in Amway and going to an Assemblies of God church. Now, it wasn't all bad. But the way I heard them talk about some groups of people from stage certainly played into how I felt about certain people groups. If you follow my blog, you've heard me talk about my struggles with MLM's and church. They aren't that much different. You learn things, some good and some bad. When we were in Amway, top of the bonus scale, we were touted as a great couple who works really hard. 25%ers. We had a voice among the people. A small one, but were edified as a solid couple in business. And we had to promote these weekend events every three months. They were fun, I really had a good time at these. They were great at lighting a fire under you to build your business for the next three months. Oh, these events were huge. Usually in DC, 8-10k people with a band and lots of speakers. They talked about God too. And had a sunday morning church service. I bought into this. I'll never forget when my friend, lets call him Harry, went to an event. He wasn't so fond of God. And when he heard a religiously motivated story and talk about God providing...blah blah blah, he cringed. He thought he was coming to a business conference. Well...it wasn't that exactly. There was about 3 hours of business advice crammed into 20 hours of talks. They often talked about the political climate at times and had right wing leaders come do talks. They also weren't afriad of sharing their thoughts on the homosexual community. Mostly the older leaders in the business. The ones everyone promoted and edified. I even joined in on this. I condemned gay people to hell. I ridiculed them and called them an abomination. Never to their face of course, but I bought into this systematic hate speech hook line and sinker.
I'll never forget when a gay couple joined our business team. And I was responsible for serving them and helping them get started.
They were the best couple I've ever worked with. They did everything so well. Some of the nicest and hospitable people I've ever done a grand opening with. Then it came time to promote the conference. I was conflicted. I didn't want them hearing any of that political bullshit. Though at the time I could hear it and it wouldn't bother me and I'd get excited about alot of it. I wouldn't promote it. I didn't promote. This was heresy! Yes, there was weekly meetings too. And there were three parts. First for a business breifing. The second for recognition, the third for teaching. And then there might even be a nightowl. Leaders, like us, never left until the very end. sometimes it was 5 am. And at one meeting, our last one, we left after the first session and never returned. To anything. We quit. We were on the verge of being able to make an extra 50-100k a year. But we quit. It wasn't worth it. For a myriad of reasons, but the biggest one was how some of the "veteran leaders" or legends talked about the current political climate and the gay community from stage. The latter wasn't often, but it was enough. We didn't go to the next conference. I've never looked back.
There was a lot of good things and service projects we did witht these groups, but there were several things that happened and that I saw that pretty much negated a lot of the heart behind those. I'll share more about some of that later.
Fast forward 5 years. My views of christianity have changed dramatically and I'm often at odds with the typical Americhristianity. Especially how they respond to the gay and trans community. We love you, but.....is the typical reaction. While there is so much hidden sin inside the church it's sickening. We'll condemn others while we secretely sin. And then there are the churches that don't really say anything about it. They might not condemn homosexuality and transgenderism, but they won't exactly except them as an equal member of the church. This concerns me. I can give example of example of how every person in the church openly lives in sin. Why make separate rule for only some sin? I'm not even saying gay is sin. I don't think it is at all.
But all of the sudden when 100 people are gunned down and 49 of them dying in a florida night club all the churches are softening. Good. But the timing is pretty shitty. And this is just the beginning of seeing people as people. And it would help if a huge sect of faith that's based on love and and sins being erased on the cross, would actually love everyone with no "buts". There are actually some christians saying this wasn't a hate crime.Over the past several years I've met several gay and transgender people and they are some of the most loving, accepting, understanding people I've ever met. They should be granted all the rights any other person has. Especially marraige. But the condemnation has to stop. I don't care what you think the bible says, you really have no idea. And your ignorance despite your best attempt is no excuse to exclude someone who you think sins differently than you.
What can I do? What can I do to show my solidarity with a people group that feels hated at times and just wants to be free? I really can't do much other than be a friend. But I can be a voice. I can continue to push for equality. I can continue to just call people on their bullshit. Or I can get a tattoo. And since I wanted one anyway, it seems like the perfect time for a tribute. The symbolism and story of the Pheonix is awesome. I love what it represents and the meaning it holds. A bird that rebirths itself into anew. Resurrection, protection and new life. All these things are possible if you want it. I want to be reminded that even if I am my lowest, I can rise again like the Pheonix. And in it's grasp, the logo from the Pulse night club where that hate filled man shot and killed so many people. I'll stand with you.
We don't need to remember the shooter. His name will fade with dust in the wind...but those lives he took need remembered and they will never be forgotten.
Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old
Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
Cory James Connell, 21 years old
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old
Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
Kimberly Morris, 37 years old
Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old
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