Goodness Gracious

I've listened to the book The Whole Brain Child a few times over the past year.  And every time I read it, I feel like the shittiest parent in the world.  About how I'm not doing my part in developing my kids brains the way they should for optimal performance.  But I can't beat myself up to much about it...my brain was developed too.  Or not.  And through learned about how my own brain works in certain situations and how to begin to integrate left and right, I can also help my kids too.

I wish more people did this.  So often we just think we the way we are because that's just it.  But if we have a reason for it and understand the how behind the why, it's easy to fix the issue or develop the strength.

My wife and I are taking a class called Gracious Parenting at the Meeting House in Carlisle, Pa. Last night's class was really great.  It helped walk through a lot of stuff with parenting about childrens emotions.  Their mixed messages they give us.  Their often absurd ways to tell us that they want a hug by running away screaming.

But if we understand their language and what they are trying to communicate, it's easier to help with the situation.   They have the emotions as powerful as an adults, yet a brain of a child to try to express them.  Many adults still struggle with this.  Trust me.  I know.

We need to learn to give grace to parents.  We need to learn to give grace to ourselves.  And even our kids.  No longer do I see kids acting up and place a judgement on their parents.  Parenting is hard.  It's stressful.  And I'll throw in the obligatory, it's awesome.  But sometimes it doesn't feel awesome.  We place shame on our parenting skills.  Stop.  Kids, though small and underdeveloped, are incredibly intelligent but don't quite know how to use that intelligence yet.

I heard a story about a mom who was kicked out of a public lounge area because their daughter was loud and running around.  Mind you, this was a lounge.  It wasn't a private, quiet area.  And this place about about developing young people.  It was founded on christian principles.  And they kicked out a family who was trying their best.  I feel so awful for that family.  For that mom.  My immediate response anymore to situations like that is to go the place where they were and rip the head off, I mean try to teach whomever made the decision to have them leave,  that kids are often uncontrollable.  And that asking them to leave does absolutely nothing to help.  We were all children once.  And we all did things like that.  That place set a poor example of how to give grace to a young family.  And they set a great example of how to heap shame on them and do nothing to help.  It makes my blood boil.  Really it does.  Anyway....I'm sure I'll have more about parenting to write about tomorrow.