To believe or not to believe? Can we have faith in humanity?

I haven't really talked about what I believe in regards to anything "spiritual", "faith based", or religion type stuff lately.  Perhaps because it's not been that important to me.  Perhaps because it's not been a concern of mine as of late.

I know a few weeks ago I said I don't believe in the christianity that I used to believe in.  Several people were concerned, said sorry and they'd pray for me.  I basically told them to save it.  Not be sorry and if their prayers did anything, it's most likely not what they intended.

But that's cool.  If you want to pray.  Awesome.  If you go to church, awesome.

I would say the biggest thing I've learned.  Don't do things out of guilt.  If you find yourself praying or reading your bible because if you don't, you'll let someone down.  Stop.  You won't let anyone down.  In fact, whomever you feel like you'd be letting down would probably appreciate if you did those things because you enjoyed them, not out of obligation.  If you don't like going to church, stop going.  Church isn't supposed to satisfy every need.  There are multiple ways to connect with the God you seek.  There are multiple ways to connect with people.  Church is only one of them.  Churches cater to the larger demographic of people.  Meeting together, singing 3-4 songs, having a sermon and singing another song can be great for some people.  But I would venture to guess that half of them would rather not be there.  That's a problem that needs addressed.  Some would say they go to support their spouse or significant other.  Well...go back up to the obligation part.  While it is a nice gesture, you shouldn't have to go for that.  I can see if your spouse was going to be performing and they wanted your support.  I'm incredibly happy to have a wife that understands that church and I just don't jive anymore.  But I'm very spiritual.  I have my own ways to center on a sunday morning and we each do our thing.


Over the past few months/year I've been getting these little signs that would be a stretch to be coincidence.  Signs that pointed me on this path that I'm on.  I'm not saying it was God.  I'm not saying it wasn't.  But I feel pretty fucking great.  The more I separate from anything like institutionalized religion, the better I feel.  The more I venture back in a little closer, the more frustrated I get.   I'm not saying it's bad...don't get me wrong.  It's just a feeling I get.  The jury is still out.  For others, church and it's various branches are very helpful for where they are in their life. And I want to be careful not to criticize that.  Just like I don't want people to see where I'm at and tell me I'm doing it all wrong.  Just because you don't understand what someone else is doing, doesn't mean it's wrong.

I've been to several different church communities over the past ten years.  And they've all done things differently.  Believed different things too.  I guess you could say I had a traumatic experience.  And then, if you throw Amway/URA into the mix and their deranged christian value spin on business/patriotism....it's no wonder my view of christianity was so flawed.

And now, I feel like if there is a God, God's got me right where God wants me.  Or better yet.  I've gotten myself right where I'm supposed to be.  I was listening to a podcast a few days ago and one of the guests was talking about Kaballah.  It sounded very intriguing.  But he talked about the second coming of the messiah.  I'm not sure of details.  But I hear many sects of the christian faith (there's a huge problem, sects of the same faith) talk about the second coming.  I don't think there is going to be a second coming.

Jesus comes back every time you take care of the least of these.  When you clothe the naked.  When you feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty.  Jesus comes back when you can help an orphan get an education, have a roof over their head, and food in their belly.  Jesus comes back when you see someone who's in need and you help them.  Even in the smallest of ways.  Catching an eye of someone with a frown and flashing them a smile.  Jesus comes back when you stop and listen.  Even if it's stopping to listen to someone who's being an asshole.  Of all people, they need someone to meet them where they are.

Stop looking for Jesus.  Start being Jesus.  Do you believe we've been given the earth to take care of? This includes people.  Not just plants and animals.  We are not all equal in this world.  Not even close.

Have a great labor day weekend.