I could write about how it sucks to be a snake. Or how important having control over your strength is.
Nope. None of those. It's my son Josiah's 5th birthday today. We celebrated yesterday with a friends party to Skyzone (an indoor trampoline park) and a small family gathering in the evening. He had a wonderful time at both. Today is a tribute to a thoughtful and caring kid. Let me start by saying it's hard for me to put into words exactly what someone means to me, let alone tell them. 
I'll never forget that morning...holding Josiah for the first time. Fathers I knew all said that once you hold your kid, especially your first, you'll know. I had no idea what it was that I'd know. It's like a jeep thing. But as soon as I held him, I knew. And I've known ever since. It's a feeling that is unshakeable. Josiah wasn't an easy child. He was incredibly fussy and did not like to be still for long. He didn't eat well. We had some marathon feeding sessions and my wife handled it like a champ. We didn't sleep much with Josiah. Swaddling didn't do much. He wiggled right out and woke himself up. I am so thankful for the person that invented the velcro close swaddle blanket, read, straight jacket for babies. I'll never forget our first full night sleep since he was born. We later learned that putting him in a swing overnight helped tremendously. Going out to dinner with family became excruciatingly difficult. Josiah did not like to be held while you were sitting. You must stand and move. He was a tough baby. He wore us out. 
Over the next year he got easier. Some would say we got better as parents. I don't know...I think we were good from the start. This kid was challenging. He's been a joy ever since. He was a joy in that first year too, especially when we finally got him to sleep. Trains, Dinosaurs, Hot Wheels/Matchbox cars are some of the things he loves the most. He even lets me play cars with him. And yes...his love for trains is the reason there is one the size of my forearm, on my forearm. Permanently. He loves music. Any type. He'll ask for anything from John Williams film scores to 90's hip hop. Seeing him stare off into the abyss of life while listening to music is absolutely intriguing. I wonder what he's feeling, what he's thinking. This love for music hasn't transcended into creating any yet, despite having just acquired a ukulele.
This photo of Josiah at the beach reminds me that at times in your life you hit a wall. Looking at it seems like that is where you'd have to finish or turn left or right. But, all you really need at this point is a boat. And you can continue on. And then if you hit land again, get out of your boat and use what you've learned the last time you were there. And never get rid of the boat. Boats are cool. And you never know when you'll need a something helpful to keep you afloat. I don't like the fact that Josiah has been a boat for me. He's also been the anchor. That's not his responsibility. It's not fair of me to put that pressure on him. He doesn't know how much of an influence he's been on me. I don't think he really truly knows the depth of my love for him. I hope that I learn to communicate that to him. And that I do my part in teaching him how to learn to receive it. 
And let's not forget to celebrate the real hero of the day. His beautiful mommy who handled that 24 hour labor like a champ. I will never doubt the strength of a woman after that day. She did absolutely amazing and the love that she has for these kids is absolutely awe inspiring. The journey that both of us, but mostly for her, to have our children wasn't easy. She is probably, no. Not probably. She is the strongest woman I know. Without a doubt. She's the reason for the goodness of our kids. I can't help but laugh though when I look at that photo. She's been up for well over 24 hours and had an excruciating labor and looks more beautiful than ever. I didn't really do anything and look like death. Ironically, I'm wearing a shirt that says "Are you man enough?". No, no man is strong enough to go through the thing that is childbirth. Here's to many many more years of wonderful parenting.
No comments:
Post a Comment