Kings K put out the the record, "Becoming Who We Are", after leaving the abusive (my words) Mars Hill church in Seattle with Mark Driscoll. They could finally be real and truthful about their emotions and feelings. Lyrics like this from "Seek Your Kingdom"I’ve been anxious, I can’t sleep
Worthless worries, burden me
I hunt the sun, chase the wind
‘Till my tired spirit spins into the ground
When I try to take control
Fear and terror grip my soul
I need joy, I need peace
I need rest I need relief
I look to you, and you teach me to
Seek your kingdom
Seek your righteousness
See the ravens, they can’t farm
They don’t have silos, trucks or barns
But our God sees their needs
And he loves them and he feeds them everyday
See the lilies, how they grow
They don’t work or buy their clothes
But if God, by his grace, clothes the grass with great array
Then how much more, is there in store, when I…
....
When I’m worried about tomorrow, I’ll fix my eyes on you
All the weight in the world won’t bury me, you’ll take me home
They were the first lyrics about any resemblance of faith that moved me. The way Chad Gardner pulls these words together paired with the music they produce is incredible. Soul moving. Take these words from "Felix Culpa"
And still I’m a wicked, wretched man, I do everything I hate
I am fighting to be god, I seethe and claw and thrash and shake
I have killed and stacked the dead, on a throne from which I reign
In the end I just want blood, and with his blood my hands are stained
See the God who reigns on high, he has opened his own veins
From his wounds a rushing torrent that can wash it all away
Grace upon grace, upon grace upon grace
Well, there new album "Beyond Control" just dropped last week. At first I wasn't impressed. But when I learned the heart behind this album it grew on me. Kings K has a way of doing that. It may not be your cup of tea at first. But the more you listen....It grabs you. And when you learn of how the songs came to be and the journey of the man that wrote most of them....
But then there was track 12, "A Prayer". There was a little "E" next to it. But this is a Christian praise and worship band. They sing these songs in church. What in the world???
Will I fall or will I misstep?
Will I fall or will I misstep?
Will I call you with my last breathe?
Will you be there for me after?
Will I waste inside the silence
Where the fear is fucking violent?
Wicked sinner thrown to lions
With no hope on the horizon
Will I fall or will I misstep?
If I fall or if I misstep
If I fall or if I misstep
If I call you with my last breath
Will you be there for me after?
Cause I'm wasting in this silence
And my fear is fucking violent
I'm a child thrown to lions
Is there hope on the horizon?
If I fall or if I misstep
[Bridge]
Jesus, where are You?
Am I still beside You?
Jesus, where are You?
Am I still beside You?
Jesus, where are You?
Am I still beside You?
Am I still beside You?
Jesus, where are You?
Jesus, where are You?
[Jesus' Response]
I’m right beside you! I feel what you feel!
And I’m here to hold you when death is too real!
You know, I died, too! I was terrified!
I gave myself for you! I was crucified
Because I love you! I love you, child!
I love you!
Can you believe there are christians upset about this. Oh, this was a prayer. When Gardner was in a place of turmoil, deep dark depression, he wrote this prayer. Ready to give up on Jesus. You can hear the story on episode 205 of the Bad Christian Podcast. It's moving. And I cried. Because I've been there. OH....After my son heard this song, he's 4 and half, it's the only song he said he wanted to listen to again. After that my son asked me if I loved God. I'll share my response tomorrow.
Back to the frustration of Christians and Kings K fans upset about this song....What's the problem? Are you going to tell Christians how they should and shouldn't feel? Do you know how God wants to be talked to? The God who you claim calls you to "come as you are" to worship. If this upsets you so much, you need to do a serious gut check. Are you so busy following rules that you fail to see someone in torment right in front of your face? I get it thought, if you don't like that word, fine. But you don't need to be a warrior about making sure christians don't say it. I'd bet God would take the honesty conversation over your bullshit legality any day. You ought to just let it all out. You'll probably feel better.
Kings Kaleidoscope....rock on.
Let me tell you....Last summer, a few days ago was a year. I was in a really low spot. really. I left the house. I had no idea what emotions I was feeling or what I was so angry about. I got in my car, drove about 20 yards and realized I had no where to go because I couldn't escape myself. I let out an audible scream in the car. Here's my lyrics....
Fuck you God
You are such an asshole
That's all. It was like a screamo song. And you know what happened? I heard it plain as day.
Thanks for being honest with me
Now.
Let's talk real.
It was so peaceful. Trust the River. God is much bigger than you think. I'm still in the process of learning. And what I learned from my 4 year old son that you'll hear about tomorrow blew my mind. Oh, I shared my story about the conversation I had with God. And an Assemblies of God pastor asked me to censor myself because people might get offended. Whatever. These are peoples REAL conversations with God. Why are they censored? Give me a break. Maybe if more people would be honest.....What are you so afraid of? Words are not bad. What you have in your heart is.
Chad Gardner, not that you'll ever read this, Thanks. Your music and lyrics are inspiring and truthful. Don't stop.
I encourage anyone to pick this album up. It's very good. Especially track 12. So fucking good.
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