The past few days I haven't felt the same feeling I used to get when writing. Sometimes I would cruise through Facebook in the morning and see what I could find that would get me stirred. But as of the past or two nothing really jumped out at me. If anything, I just look with mild disdain and disgust at some of the things people are worked up about. No, not racism, injustice or the RNC. Those things are worth getting worked up over. However, there are tactful ways to communicate about those things. And some not so tactful.
Anyway, I'm not nearly as angry anymore. Anger is not my default. I don't always have to find a source of my anger. I can finally just, Be. It's weird. Not gonna lie. But so relaxing. I don't always have to find a reason why I'm stirring and what's causing a strife in me. And it's not like I can recall if there was a thing that got pulled out and I immediately felt better. It's a combination.
I've been going to Marriage counseling with my wife and this has been incredibly helpful, I've been taking my medications (bupropion and ritalin) regularly, I've been exercising everyday, I've been eating healthy and losing weight, I've been consistent with work, and been consistent writing every day. This all has helping me become much more confident and less socially anxious.
More importantly, my mind is healthy and my body is healthy. I don't think I've ever been in this good of shape. I've always had dreams of slam dunking a basketball. And last night I had a dream about it again, only this time I actually believed I could do it. I haven't even tried since I've lost over thirty pounds and got stronger. Maybe tonight I'll measure my progress.
This was the preface to what I was going to write about, but I'll save the original content for tomorrow. Just in case I'm still not angry.
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