5:30 AM Again.

Flossing destroys my gums. No matter how lightly I do it.  Not that I need to...Since I don't eat sugar. My teeth have never felt so clean.  This morning I put a spoonful of coconut oil in my mouth and swished it around.  They say it's something called oil pulling.  The next spoonful will be straight to my coffee.

For the first time in awhile...i feel
like I see progress.  

Last night I posted a status update about not turned to God anymore for comfort and answers.  Someone inquired....apparently they missed about every single blog I've written since March 16 2016. I haven't missed a day.  I've woken up at 5:30 EVERY day since March 16.  They guy that loves sleeping and would struggle to get up to go to work...has gotten up at 5:30 every day to wri....I mean go to therapy.  Or to just be open and vulnerable.

I'm not going to talk about God in any type of certainty.  And I certainly don't want to use God as a coping mechanism to put a band aid on something I need to deal with.  I've done that before....the band aid falls off.  At least mine did.  And it left a nasty nasty infection.

What I am going to do explain my status.  Late last year I got a concussion.  It wasn't fun.

Never mind.  That's a much longer blog.  Here's one from March 10 that I never published.  I'm not going to change it.  I'm just going to put it out there.  It's about influence.  It's also about breaking the cycle of the way things are.  Not that they are wrong.  But somethings, you must stop.  And relearn.  When your house is falling down and repairs aren't working.  Sometimes you gotta deconstruct and reconstruct.  Here it is....

"Lately I've been having thoughts about our origin.  About how we came to be and how we came to believe certain things. People weren't just born evil or good.  We were all born babies.  A clean slate. Moldable. Might we have certain personalities?  Sure.  But they can be cultivated into something good or something bad.  

This has really reared it's ugly head in churches.  What if what we've been taught is wrong?

What if what is preached from the pulpit or in the sunday school classes is wrong?  Who does God fault (if he faulted anyone)?  I would say he faults the teacher.  Transition to home life.  A child watches their parent lie, cheat and steal.  That becomes normal for the child.  Or it produces a huge state of confusion as to whats right and wrong.  Childs fault?   What if racism is present in the house? Bigotry? Love and compassion for the least of these?  An overwhelming sense of urgency to care for widows and orphans?  

From an all knowing God's perspective, these behaviors can be traced so much further back then just a parent or a pastor.  Even those people were taught by someone, who were taught by someone, who were taught by someone.  Over the course of several thousand years. If no one breaks the cycle, it continues to roll.  

Because it goes the whole way back....to Jesus.  

This was happening systematically.  Jesus was the answer to all that."

There you have it.  March 10.  A week before my blogging saga began.  I'm gonna follow up someday with answers Jesus gave another date.  But it's probably not what you think.  Especially if you grew up as a Christian.  And it will certainly be uncertain.