Let me start by saying...I'm not criticizing anyone's prayer life. I just don't understand prayer anymore. What does prayer actually do?
Let me take you on a little journey into history. When I used to pray, when I would do it and imagine blue beams of light coming from the sky and imagining those being God and that blue beam of light encircled whomever I was praying for. Like when I would pray for the kids in our orphanages in Haiti, I would imagine those blue beams of light. But then I really thought..what are my prayers doing? Is god going to treat them any differently if I prayed or not? Little old me? There are lots of others praying for them too. And even if nobody was...they are Gods children. Why would God do them wrong? But they were God's children when their family was taken from them. Their family members were God's children too. The whole country is full of God's children. The whole world is....and here we are. Pain and suffering. Joy and Happiness. Wealth and poverty. Assholes and Saints. Do our prayers really do anything for others? Especially when they don't even know we are praying for them?
I've come to the conclusion...at least for now...prayer is only for the one praying. And for those that pray in front of the church...it's for them too. That's it. I don't believe that God acts like a Satellite. We pray and that pray bounces off God and lands on someone in another area of the world. I think prayer changes our brains. If we pray for the same thing everyday...example...awareness of the needs around us. We'll start seeing needs around us because we are teaching ourselves that through daily repetition of saying....Help me see the needs around me.
I've also seen some pretty strange things happen in my own life. Yet still...all these things weren't "supernatural". But dang...they sure were close to feeling like I was being guided....but....like the words in the Beautiful Eulogy song..."Symbols and Signs"
"But don't you find it interesting
How most of the time
Your self-interpreting seems to coincide
With what's deep inside
Your heart's desires
Seems rather convenient, doesn't it?"
I think prayer lives in the subconscious. We speak what we want. And maybe even we start to act in ways to bring what we want to existence...And when it happens, it was an answered prayer. Was it? Or was it just you doing to work but you didn't even realize it. Or are you just more open to see what was already there.
Prayer isn't an excuse to do nothing. In fact...if you don't have any intention of getting involved in what you are praying for...don't even pray for it. Unless you know that your prayer is only to bring you peace knowing you can't do anything. Even better...learn to live in the place of being where you know you CAN'T do anything. And that's ok.
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| See, this meme says I'm right where I should be. So if you think i've gone and fell off my christian rocker, you've no need to worry. |
My biggest pet peeve....when people tell me they'll pray for me. That they've been praying for me. I get messages quite a bit actually of people telling me they are praying for me. Mostly because they see some of the things I write. I usually tell them their prayers aren't doing shit or they are working really well! Because I've never been in a better place in my life. Even with some depression symptoms still lingering...like the hit I took yesterday. I'm doing great. So keep those prayers coming. OH....but I say things that aren't "godly". I question christianity and prayer. I think church is hugely flawed and have no qualms talking about it and claiming talking is also doing. Sort of like you...your prayer is doing...like my talking is doing. Raise awareness right?
Again...If you are the praying type...keep at it. Seriously. I'm not saying it doesn't work. I'm not saying it does. I just think it doesn't work in the ways we think it does. I think it's more science than supernatural. But then people say God is in the science. Ok...sure.
What about when a prayer doesn't get answered....must not have been God's plan. Why pray in the first place then. If God is going to do what God is going to do, why pray? Maybe that was God's design...prayer was part of a daily habit to help us change our own minds about the world. Not for God to supernaturally interact.
Again...i'm not criticizing prayer. If you pray...awesome. I don't. Not anymore. I think. I write. Maybe this is my prayer. I'm saying it's not as simple as I thought it was. Or maybe it is.
BONUS TIME. I just found this meme. I know for a fact that there are people that will say in regards to this last one. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ALL THOSE ADVANCEMENTS IF NOT FOR THOSE THAT PRAY.
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