Honest Leading

First time ever I decided to start this at night rather than in the morning.  But it could get long.  So here we go.

Pastors have shitty jobs.  Seriously.  They have to be perfect.  If they aren't the epitome of holiness and making all the right decisions, they get fired.  Or people will use them as an example of what to do and what not to do.  This isn't fair.  Not at all.  This needs to change.  A pastor should be able to live their life just like you do.  Failures, faults, bad decisions and all.  And they can still be your pastor.  And they don't even need to feel guilt or sorrow about it, just like you.  What if they do something that may influence someone else to do something that may not be good for them?  What if they do something that totally goes against the way they are supposed to be living.  To fulfill some sort of need they feel like they are missing.  Maybe it's a need that can even be fulfilled, had they just asked about it.  Like how to go out and have fun without getting wasted.  Someone could tell them that all they need to do is limit themselves to one drink an hour and always have a water or other non alcoholic beverage.  Something like that.  Hard to find  a good example for where I'm going.  What if they don't read their bible?  What if they don't pray?  What if they don't lift their hands during worship?  What if they don't.....?  What if they do....?

A pastor shouldn't be held in such a regard that they have to live a perfect life.  No one lives a perfect life.  And if they have to hide everything they shouldn't do in case someone else sees them...it isn't healthy.  People need to make their own decisions about their own lives. But ultimately, a pastor cannot make themselves responsible for the success or failure of someones journey of faith.

But even then.  A pastor cares for people.  And he doesn't want any part of his life to possibly encourage someone to make a bad decision.

It's gotta be a tough job.

And it's not just a pastor.  It happens when you fall into a leadership position.  People look to you for advice and encouragement.  There is some pressure to be perfect.  You can feel as though you have a responsibility for the successes and failures of others.  But you don't.  You do your best.   But what if there are people in your "group" that say some things that might encourage or give permission to others to "fall off the path".  Even if that's not what they are doing intentionally, but others might feel that they can loosen up as well.   Then what?  What do you do about that?  People can still make their own decisions.  Do you speak up though?  Do you mention that just because so and so did that doesn't mean it's good for everyone?  Or do you just trust that people will make good decisions for themselves.  I'm leaning towards the fact that you just keep doing your own thing and trusting that you are living an honest example.  And sometimes people will need learn things for themselves.  You can't always keep things to the left of the bang.  That creates stress and guilt on everyone.  And forces people to hide their mistakes.  That's never a good thing.

I totally made this meme.  I'm not happy with it.  But I'm happy with the message.

Real life example.  I've been following a ketogenic diet for 3 and half months now.  In a nutshell, this is eating fat to satiety, enough protein to keep a healthy body, and less than 20g of net carbs per day.  The amount of fat and protein varies from person to person.  Even the types of foods people eat can vary from person to person.  This way of eating has helped many people reverse type 2 diabetes and other metabolic disease.  Not only that, but many other benefits are experienced as well.  Weight loss being one of them.  To date, I've not gone over 20g of net carbs a day.  Is it hard?  Not anymore.  But it was for a few weeks.  But the way I feel now, I've no desire to ever go over 20g of net carbs per day for the rest of my life.  I don't expect you to understand that.  I liked bread, pasta, and beer at one time as well.  It's tough to break up with carbs.

I also moderate a Keto group on Facebook.  I didn't start it, but I was the second person in it.  There are many people in it, all with different goals and different reasons for being on keto.  I know almost every person in the group that is nearing 200 people.  I feel a responsibility for their success.  Especially since a lot  of them are in this group because they knew I achieved success with this way of eating and wanted to start.  Except....I'm not an expert.  I'm only an expert in what has worked for me.  But I do know a little bit, and am learning every day. With Keto, what works for one person may not work for another person.  But there are things that are pretty set.  Like don't eat excessive carbs.  They just won't taste as good as they used to and you'll most likely feel like shit.  And there is a chance you won't come back from what brought you to change your habits in the first place.  So it's hard when someone shares something like a cheat day that they don't feel guilty about that's not part of their dietary plan.  Or if someone posts a food that may be a little carb heavy that I wouldn't eat.   I don't want others to think it's ok to do or eat those things without thinking about how it would effect their health, but I also don't want the person to feel bad about their decision to loosen the reigns for a meal or on a vacation.  It's their journey.  They do theirs, I'll do mine, and everyone else will do their own as well.  I'm not responsible for your success.  I may not always have all the answers.  I may not always give you the right answer.  I may give you the right answer for me, but it won't work for you.  I gave up artificial sweeteners for a month and you may not need too.  I may not have needed too!  Neither one of us is right or wrong. But you know what?  We're a community of people that want to better their lives and encourage others to do the same.  And if anyone looks to me as a beacon of keto perfection....keep looking.  Even if I am pretty close.  You have to figure out the way to continue amidst the sea of carbs at the restaurant and grocery store that you don't need.   And many of your family and friends that don't understand what you are eating and why you are giving up breads, pastas and beer.   They'll tell you it's unhealthy.  But rest assured, I'll be there to support you and so will all the other people in the group.

Thanks for reading through this very long blog.  Even though it transitioned into me talking some things out for me.  This stuff is applicable to many different areas of life.