Point number one. Stresses are different for everyone. We just need to be aware of that. And also be aware of the things that stress you out.
I picked my son up from child care yesterday and discovered glitter everywhere. The kids and their grammy seemed to have been having a great time playing with crafts. I'm happy they can do that. But for me, I get incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of mess that crafts create. It stresses me out. I don't see the reward in making the paper with glitter on it creation for a day or two and throwing it out. We can survive just fine without glitter. But whatever...kids and grammy like it. It's not the end of the world.
Point number two. It's helpful to be aware of others levels of stress and tension. So many times we often do things unintentionally that make the state of tension in someone else much higher. This is really difficult to manage. It requires LOTS of open and honest communication. Open and honest conversation is a difficult task in and of itself. So I get my son in the car, actually, he got himself in the car. And all buckled in. He's amazing. But as we were headed down the street I turned and noticed him admiring his paper with glitter all over it. Loose glitter. He then poured it all over himself. I yelled and told him to stop and put the paper down. I reached back and grabbed it and in trying to fold it to contain the glitter, glitter kept falling out everywhere. And all the stress and tension of the day came out at that moment. Glitter was flying everywhere, all control was lost. I crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor.
Shitty dad award. Right here. This guy.
My son started crying. I didn't yell at him but tried to explain to him the mess he created. And then I told him he would need a bath to get all the glitter off his hands and face. This made him cry harder.
It took all I had to keep it together on the way home. To rest in my thoughts. To realize that I wasn't mad him. I wasn't mad at his grammy for letting them loose with the glitter. I wasn't mad at the stresses of the day. I am dealing with a lifelong list of things. Literally. So many emotions I am learning how to process. And when life doesn't slow down for you to do this, it's hard.
When we got to the house, I picked my son up and gave him a great big hug. I let him get glitter all over me. I told him that I cared so much more about him than I do about glitter. I told him that he could get all the glitter in the world all over me and my car as long as we still had love. I apologized for his picture and told him that was a decision I made when I was stressed and doesn't represent how I feel about him. I'm not going to say it was a bad decision though.
I think in today's world we've lost the ability to maintain. We know that we can fix problems pretty easily. Pretty much everything is available to us anytime. If we get sick, we can take a drug to get better. But so many don't take the steps to prevent getting sick. If we suffer from mental stuff, we can up our dose. Instead of scheduling therapy appointments when we were healthy. We get a divorce because marriages are tough instead of being counseled from day one of the engagement.
Obviously we can't see all things coming. But we can try to be more observing of whats going on and the potential consequences of actions and behaviors. That way we find a good balance of learning proper ways to prevent and healthy ways to react and respond. Part of this involves learning and discovering yourself and how you respond to certain situations and being honest about that. And try to avoid those situations.
So many times we think we are doing great...but really, we are sitting at 211 degrees like it's 98.6. At any moment we could blow.
Left of Bang. Lets try to hang out there for a bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment