I'm frustrated. I'm digging. Searching for some kind of an answer. Some sort of direction.....These are my thoughts. You can disagree...but don't get mad at me. I'm just calling it like I see it and so far I've not been given answers or an explanation for any of this. Only excuses.
One of the things that's always plagued me is the massive amounts of money we spend in America on shit. The stuff we don't need. Huge houses, entertainment, expensive dining, gadgets, toys, cars.... And not only individual america...but corporate america too. The amount of money is borderline absurd. Yet we are still in debt? And churches...don't get me started. Oh wait...that's why I started this blog.
The first thing I thought of this morning when I woke up is that I should go to Haiti as soon as I can. Maybe I can get my $250 deposit back for my february trip and go asap. But what will one more person do to help? I should just send my $1500 down to help with the costs of cleanup. Skip this potential trip and the one in february. They have the manpower in haiti, they don't have the funds. So my money will help.
Wait a minute. Church. And there multimillion buildings that get used once a week and 10% of it the rest of the week. Church members with their excess. I see them with their brand new cars and houses. So much wealth inside many american churches. The very beacon of hope for Jesus and money is squandered on all things that will wash away in the end.
Am I out of line? I don't know. I see churches spending money on flat screen tv's to replace to old flat screen tv's in all the rooms. State of the art facilities for only the finest audio/video productions. And how much does all the coffee cost every week? That adds up too.
I know the country clubs are good for people. Oh wait...I mean I know churches are good for people in America. But could we get the same community without the massive amounts of money spent? Small churches, rented facilities, house churches? I don't know.
America's economy is complex.
Anyway...I think about the little bit I could do in a country thats about the get rocked again by natural disaster. And then I think about the amount of money spent in/on american churches. The very church that is supposed to be the beacon of hope for the hopeless. The money that they could use to help those less fortunate could be great. But we've let America influence how we do church. And it's become a huge business and industry with money being thrown at material things with a focus on seeing how big and far the reach can be. Ignoring needs along the way in hopes to fill those needs when you've made it. I know churches give some money...but not nearly enough. I don't give nearly enough. I'm an example. So many things I own I don't need and that money could have been given to countries like haiti to help rebuild. I am the church. YUCK. I don't want to look like the american church.
I stopped going to church to escape feeling this way. I stopped believing in Christianity to escape these thoughts.....it didn't work.
I stood outside last night. On my back porch in the crisp cool fall air. Stars shining. Calm. Peaceful. And about 1000 miles to my south, a small country is being bruised and battered like a victim in an abusive relationship. Time and time again. This time is a category 4 hurricane.
And this is only haiti. What about all the people around the world? I'm talking to CHRISTIANS in america. Am I missing something? Somebody help me out here? Are we not responsible for those that have it worse than us? ANSWER ME? Are the multimillion dollar facilities (that even I use on occasion) worth it? ARE THEY? Is anything worth it that we spend money on?
How do I escape this feeling? Is there escaping it?
Is the only escape to sell everything and follow Jesus? Why does that sound familiar? And if that's what Christians are supposed to do, why aren't they? Why do the majority of them satisfied with sunday mornings and trying to smile all week and be nice to people.
Enough excuses for this comfortable life. But damn, it's so plush. It's hard to leave. Why should I sacrifice my comfort when I know that if all americans who claimed christ actually did what they are supposed to do, together as a unified front to help the LEAST of these, we could make so much change in the world? How do you expect anyone to believe if you don't? I'm not talking about one or two people in your church community that have come from a bad place and turned their life around. That's awesome. I'm glad. But what about the LEAST, the poorest of the poor. I almost feel that if the church comes together, all over america it would be like a tidal wave of compassion. And all those that aren't the least will be made stronger in the process of helping the LEAST.
Brainstorming here people. Don't get mad.
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