For some of us that's hard to do. We feel like so much is expected of us anytime we do nothing or something we enjoy, we feel guilty. So we do what we think is expected of us. And over time we grow to resent those things. But we still can't get away for a sabbath. It's a vicious cycle.
I don't know when this inner voice was created that we aren't good enough. That we have to keep working. There is no time to rest.
It's like we have to say YES to everything. When all we want to do is say NO.
Amway certainly didn't help. The group I was in, DC International (I have no problem using names), often preached this "you can sleep when your dead" mentality. And there are many that took it seriously. They didn't sleep. They did meetings all night and worked all day. It was suicide. If you don't give your brain adequate sleep, it's not healthy. It was almost a badge of honor who would work the hardest. But they always preached about working smarter, not harder. It was about getting results. But the only way to get results was to go out and work hard. If I ever wanted to have a movie night with my wife, I couldn't enjoy it. I felt like I should be out getting names and numbers or doing a meeting.
I don't know if this thought and feeling in me manifested in Amway, or it only was magnified by it. Was is church culture? The constant need to reach out to the lost? To reach the unreached? If you ever rest, unsaved people will go to hell. But yet....the sabbath...
Or was in childhood. "Hey mom and dad, can I go play football? Can I go on a bike ride and go fishing?" The answer was usually, did you finish _____? Always had to finish something or get something done before I did the fun thing.
It's like all my life I feel as though I can never do what I want to do, but what I think is expected of me. I'll buy the slightly less expensive thing instead of the nicer thing. For no reason other than I don't think I deserve any of it.
Another thing to remember....it's ok to say no. Even if someone asks you to do something and you're only reason to say no is that you don't want to. Just say no. You don't need to give them a reason. For example, we used to borrow a PA system often from the same person. He would always say yes. We would never pay for it, and he would never accept money for it. But over time, it's easy for him to feel as though he's being used. Should he have said no, or accepted (or even asked for) money. Yes. That would have been fine. Instead resentment grew.
You can still be a kind person with a good heart and say no.
Sometimes you just need to say no. Withdraw from everyone and go breath deep in the woods. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll be of no use to anyone.
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