13 Reasons why God wants you to be in Ketosis.

Introduction: Have you ever done a three day fast?  Many do one day, many skip a meal.  While I think this have more to do with self control than anything spiritual, good for you.  But three days, that's where it's at.  I highly encourage it.  This piece is more geared to the christian community.  Because that's who I was with when I did my fasts.


What happens on a three day fast?  Day one is ok.  You fight some urges to eat.  Your belly is growling.  Water/coffee/tea just isn't cutting it.  But you want to experience a fast so you press on.  Then day two happens.  And you are miserable.  Day 2 of a fast is the worst!  Reality sets into your body and it is screaming at you for food.  It's HUNGRY!  You want to give in.  This is when most people cave.  Day 2.  If they only knew night was darkest right before dawn.  Day 3 you feel like you are as high as a kite in a tornado!  You feel amazing.  You feel like you could fast forever.  Energy levels increase, hunger secedes, and you realize that food isn't the source of your life.  God is.  It's in incredible feeling.

But I hate to be Adam and ruin that for you, but you may only be partially right.  If you believe God created you, than yes.  God designed it so that third day, you'll experience something you haven't experienced since the womb.  Ketosis.  Since your body has no access to food, it switched from burning glucose/carbohydrates and starts to burn your stored fat.   It creates bodies called ketones.  Studies have shown that your body functions 70% better using ketones.  Seems fitting that this is what God intended. Our ancestors didn't have access to food like we used to.  Most likely they were in ketosis.  If you spread human history out over a football field, processed foods showed up at the quarter inch line.  Processed, fructose, and carb heavy foods that contain ingredients that you don't even know how to pronounce.  Yes.  All created by Man  And what do they always say in Christian communities, Man will fail you.  And they mostly did with all the groceries in the middle of the store.  Can you survive?  Sure.  But if you want a Godly way of eating, Keto/Paleo is the choice for you.

Obviously...I'm being somewhat sarcastic about it being a Godly diet.  But it makes sense.

What happened on the third day?  Jesus rose from the dead.  Coincidence?  That third day of a fast you all of the sudden have a breakthrough on how good you can feel when you clean up your diet?  It's like you rose from the dead.  You have new life.  Don't screw it up.  Eat real food.  You are already in ketosis, you just made it through the hardest part.  Day 2.

FYI, I don't recommend fasting to get into Ketosis.  But while you are fat adapted and in ketosis...fasting is incredible.  I'm looking forward to my first 5-7 day fast in september.

Not just for Christians....

A few years ago I did a 3 day fruits and veggies fast.  This was before I knew that fruits contained carbs and my body would treat the glucose from fruit as it would, well, glucose.  But it's still better than a snickers bar.   So I would eat lots of fruits and veggies.  As many as I wanted.  And olive oil is a veggie, right?  Olives?  After three days, I realized it was to easy.  So I switched to liquids only.  I drank water, and I'm pretty sure I only had simply nutrilite antioxidant juice. 30g of carbs in an 8oz. can.  But I had 3-4 a day,  So if I wasn’t in ketosis, I was getting very good at burning fat for fuel. I was feeling awesome.  I had no cravings for anything.  Not even wings from the conference afterparty at The Coliseum with our amway leadership team.  I was even selected to do a chug and chew contest at the conference but I refused because the food bar would break my fast.  I felt that good.  And you don't just refuse to do the chug and chew.    The next day at church I got a bit concerned.  I thought I had an eating disorder. I was feeling amazing but I didn't want to eat.  I had never felt so good.  So I talked to the pastors.  Told them I couldn't eat.  They asked why I was fasting.  I didn't really know.  I just wanted the challenge to control food.  And I nailed it.  They convinced me to eat a donut.  A DONUT!!!  Where did we get it?  Church.  Don't trust the church to handle your wise nutrition choices.  Bye bye fat burning.

And for everyone else doing a fast just for the experience of a three day fast.  While it can be a spiritual experience, it's mostly science.  It's our bodies adapting, sparing muscle, and burning fat.  As it was designed to do.  And now, after almost 4 months of being in ketosis....I can tell it is a spiritual experience.  And it's just amazing.  And I have visible abs now, which is cool.  Never had those before.

Reason 1: see introduction.
Reason 2-13: see reason 1.

Food Part 5. Eating with your Emotions.

As I was thinking about this topic, I also couldn't help but think how fortunate we are to be even having this conversation.  We have an abundance of food in America.   There is NO reason that anyone should be hungry in America, let alone around the world.  NONE.  We have the resources.  But that's a topic for another day and not intended to guilt trip anyone.

The hardest thing about making any dietary change is the emotional eating.  I'm not talking about when you are sad and depressed and go eat ice cream. Which, lets be honest, doesn't help anything long term.  I'm talking about eating a bun on your hot dog.  Eating s'mores at a campfire.  Eating corn at a late summer picnic.  Pizza and cake at a birthday party.  OH, and my old favorite, Popcorn.  ANYTIME.  It had to be Jolly Time, blast o butter.  All others were acceptable, but not as good.

Just like certain smells and aromas, we attach an emotional feeling with certain types of foods we eat.  The reward system in our brain is activated, releasing dopamine.  When you celebrate a week of work complete and eat pizza and ice cream on friday night, your brain treats this a reward.  A big reward.  A huge rush of dopamine is released.   Food becomes an addiction.  The craving isn't for food, it's for the dopamine rush.  But the food will release that dopamine because that's what we've trained it to do. All week we will look forward to friday night.  This will cause friday night to be a huge party.  And maybe...that party spills into monday night, for getting through monday.  And then it turns to every evening.  

Holidays.  We splurge so bad.  The big three within a month of each other.  Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.  All known to have huge family gatherings where you eat your heart out.  You associate that food with the good times you have with friends and family.  So that time of year your brain learns to expect a huge dopamine rush and it gets it from the consumption of food.

I would add that emotional eating can be paired with not
only an upsetting emotion, but a pleasant emotion as well.

Good news.  You can reverse that.  But food addiction is not a joke.  It is a real thing.  And a serious thing.  I'd be willing to guess that almost everyone is addicted to food in at least a small way.  It's not something to joke about.  There are even overeaters anonymous groups.  But you'll need help.  You'll need support.  You need to admit to yourself why you are making a change and understand exactly what you need to do.  You need to find a motivational source.   A word of advice, don't let that source be another person.  That's not fair to the person, or you.  You aren't doing it for them, you are making this change for you.

Food is powerful.  You live and die by food.  Third only to air and water.  If you've been struggling with impulsive eating, don't beat yourself up.  Often times those that really struggle, hide it from people.  And this can lead to depression and low self esteem. But chin up!  It's likely you don't have a lack of will power.   You could very well have a serious addiction that can be fixed with help and support.  You are stronger than you know.

How can we help change this relationship we have with food?

Well, how many times have we told our kids to clean their plate, there are hungry kids in Africa?  Lots of times.  It's probably been engrained into all of us.  THIS causes guilt.  But the truth?  The leftover food on our plate will never make it to Africa.  And it's only guilting us into eating food when we aren't hungry creating a psychological eating problem.  Or this phrase said to a child who says they aren't hungry.  No dessert till you finish all your food!  So...you reward them with junk food for overeating?   Rather, don't make dessert a reward.  Have dessert at random times throughout the week.  Not after a meal, maybe even for the meal.  Seriously, the spaghetti you ate for dinner will not somehow counter the dessert you will eat and make them both ok to eat just because you ate a salad too.  

To wrap this up.  Eating isn't just for survival anymore.  And because of this it creates all kinds of imbalance in our bodies and minds.  After 5 parts of this talk on dieting.  I will say that a Ketogenic way of eating has been the ABSOLUTE VERY BEST decision I've ever made in my life.  Not only for weight loss, but a significant decrease in my depression symptoms, mental clarity has increases, my mood is stable, my skin is clearer, and so many other positive health benefits that I've never expected to come from my diet.  

If you want to make a change, don't count on your friends to do it with you.  Their reasons are not the same as yours.  But they do need to support you, if they don't, get new friends.  Seriously.  What friends are they if they don't care about your emotions?   I'll be your friend.  I'll support you.  We have groups on Facebook for that too.  See the links to those in part 4.

Food part 4. Sustaining for Success.

I might as well call this part 4 of my little exercise/life story/food choice series.

How do I sustain eating habits that aren't the same as what I've always done, and what normal food culture doesn't follow?

Easy.  You take ownership of your decisions.  You do what's right for you.  You make a decision that this is for life and you don't have to do things you don't want to do.

When you make a change for the better, especially dietary change, people may question the integrity of your plan. Don't confuse this for criticism or negativity.  I think deep down, just about everyone wants to make a diet change but are so skeptical of just about every single "pitch" out there for a diet plan.  They've been lied to about how to lose weight and be healthy so they've just given up.   Their questioning isn't spoken in a manner to discourage you.  It's more about how they feel.  And they may not want to see you let down.

The key to anything...commitment.  The ketogenic way of eating requires that.  At least a month straight.  No cheating.  If you eat something that isn't good for a ketogenic way of eating and don't get the desired results, it's not the fault of keto.....it's your own.  But guess what, you can start again with minimal setback.  Oh...and honestly, there are so many foods you can eat on this diet that there should no reason why you'd want anything else.  But it the beginning when you are learning, you are more susceptible to eating something that you probably shouldn't have.  Don't sweat it. Use it as a learning experience.

You might be thinking, I don't want to change my diet to one where if I eat excessive carbs I'll feel like crap.  But weren't you already eating in a way that if you ate an excess of something you felt like crap?

What happens when someone brings cookies and donuts into the office as a thank you?   Simple.  You don't eat them.  What happens if I get invited to dinner and they are serving spaghetti?  Well, you know there are certain foods like pasta that is often served as a main dish that you can't/shouldn't eat. So you can either notify the preparer that you have some "food sensitivities" and need to be aware of what's on the menu.  They will be just fine with this.  Trust me.  Why would they want to serve you food that would harm you?

This is getting a little bit longer.  And I'd like to spend some more time on social eating while eating Ketogenic.  So let me save Part 5 for tomorrow.

Food part 3. Calories. FTS. Stop counting them.

As promised, today I'm going to share my philosophy on why I don't count calories.  Simple.  If you are tying to lose weight, calories don't matter.  As long as you are eating the right amounts of the right kinds of foods.  If you have your foods balanced out properly for weight loss, calories take care of themselves.

I may be very blunt and abrasive in this blog.  I don't know how else to do it.  But know this.  I'm not criticizing anyones food choices.  I'm not judging you if you eat the things I don't.  This is for people that are so desperately trying to lose weight but can never seem to make a lasting change and ENJOY it.

As always...this blog is based off of things I read and how I remember it.  It is not to be substituted for actual scientific research.  So if I do say something that isn't exactly accurate, please, do tell.  And honestly...you hear so many different sides to the story when it comes to nutrition. 

The only thing I'd argue, dump the diet soda.
Some people can still drink it...but there are
much better options.  

Here is how I understand carbs.  Simple carbs like candy, cake, and fructose need to die.  You don't need them.  Breads and Pasta's too.  Not necessary.  Trust me...after three weeks you won't miss them.       THESE KINDS OF CARBS YOU SHOULD NOT BE EATING.  EVER.  If you are trying to lose body fat these carbs will only make you feel awful and keep you from losing it.  They hold barely any nutritional value at all.  And food manufacturers put them in damn near everything.  Watch your labels.  

Complex carbs, like those found in fruits and vegetables.  You still have to count those too.  Sorry.  They are still sugar.  Though arguably not nearly as bad, at all.  But they will still inhibit fat loss.  So when it comes to fruits and veggies.  I limit my intake to 3-5 blueberries, raspberries or blackberries a day.  IF that.  Maybe a strawberry or two.  A slice of tomato or two.  Very minimal amounts.  Leafy green vegetables are a good option, so is cauliflower, broccoli and asparagus.  You count your net carbs by taking the total carbs minus fiber.   The biggest misconception I had about complex carbs were that I could eat as many as I wanted to eat when dieting.  So I ate LOADS of mostly high sugar fruits.  This provides me with glucose and I was using that for fuel...and not ever getting burn body fat.  

Nuts....peanuts aren't nuts.  I haven't had a peanut in months.  Almonds, walnuts, pecans, brazil are some of the nuts I eat.  But again...limited.  

Alcohol?  Yeah....dump it out.  Remember me?  The guy that was drinking 1-2 bottles of whiskey a week, who's favorite pastime was trying new beers?  Yeah.  I stopped cold turkey.  I can count the number of occasions I've had a drink over the past three months on one hand.  Last night...I even tried a scotch whiskey and a rye whiskey (old favorites),  had one sip and dumped them out.  I wasn't going to force it.  I simply did not enjoy it anymore.  That being said.  There is wine, beer, whiskey, vodka and other alcohol that you can enjoy.  In limited moderation, of course.  But check the carb count.  And don't overindulge.  That's when craving kick in.  In my opinion, it's best to avoid these for a month.

What about artificial sweeteners. There are some like Stevia, Xylitol, and erythritol that you can use.  Though I would suggest decreasing the sweet tasting things as well.  To help eliminate the cravings.  With these sweeteners, to each their own.  They can effect you in different ways.  

THE KEY TO BURNING BODY FAT IS LIMITED YOUR CARBS.  To what limit?  I start with 20g net carbs.  I haven't been over 20g net carbs for well over 3 months now.   I would say, beginning of may, I was easily eating over 500g of carbs a day.  So don't give me that shit that you can't do it.  Is it hard...maybe.  But you know what else was hard?  Getting fat and being overweight.  You know whats not hard?  Eating scrumptious fatty foods and losing weight.  

So what do you eat?  What's a plan?  Well, we found these to be awesome.  The three day kickstart is awesome.  My wife just incorporated this way of eating and used the three day kickstart.  the "keto flu" was minimal.  Though I like to call it "Carb Withdrawal Flu".  Keto is healing.
3 day keto kickstart
And then we transitioned to this 7 day eating plan.  And dang.  This food is some of the most amazing food I've ever had in my life.  I'm not joking.  At all.  You just wait.  You won't believe that you can lose weight eating this stuff.  I've been eating these same foods over the past week with her and I've lost three pounds.
7 day best food you've ever had in your life

There are lots of books to help you understand this much better.  Fat is not bad.   You've been lied to.  Oh...I'm also not saying carbs are the enemy.  I'll come right out and say fructose and added sugars are.  There is no need for any of that.   You may eat a wide variety of carbs, proteins and fat and still maintain a healthy body.  Great.  I'm not talking to you.  Unless you want to talk fueling on your endurance workouts. I'm talking to all the people that want to lose the donuts they ate ten years ago. And those people that can't seem to make any diet work for them.  This way of eating works for you. 

I showed you that proof yesterday.  

There are several books on the topic including these three that will give you all the science you need. And they will help you understand this way of eating.  Also...the first one, Keto Clarity.  It has an audio book.  That's what I got.  It contains so many stories of people that have used this diet to lose hundreds of pounds, from themselves.  Some over 200 pounds.  And many have reversed metabolic disease and diabetes.
Keto Clarity

The big fat surprise

The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living

If you are into podcasts,  2 Keto Dudes is my favorite, but there are several others as well.
Two Keto Dudes
Keto Talk

I also like these two that aren't necessarily Keto.  But they are fat burning/paleo podcasts that include bits of great science and information.
The Paleo Solution
The fat burning man 

OH...and you don't need exogenous ketones to make this work.  Do they have benefits...yes.  But they aren't worth it or needed, IMO, to live a ketogenic lifestyle.

Last but not least.  This group is made up of friends of mine all on different stages of their keto journey.  It's a great place for encouragement and information.  It's a private group, so we can have private conversations and our friends outside the group will never see.   Feel free to join!
BC Keto facebook group

Wow. Mob Mentality at it's worst.

Moron.  Idiot.  Douchebag.  Disrespectful asshole.  Dickwad.  Scum of the earth.  Hates America.  Pisses on our soldiers.  Send him to a third world country.  Get the fuck out of America.

All of these things were said to Colin Kaepernick about his decision to not stand during the National Anthem at their preseason football game last night Aug. 26.

Are people that upset at Kaep?  Or do internet bullies just want to vibrate their jingles?   We've got two different issues going on here.

One.  Kaep's got a point.  We do have some racial tension and oppression going on in America right now.  And lots of people are turning a blind eye to it.  They refuse to acknowledge that it exists.  And it's going to take extreme measures to bring attention to it.  Like rioting.  That has been shown to be effective at drawing attention.  However, rioting is not the best course of action to incite long term change.  But I understand the riot response.  And I don't blame anyone for it.  Frustration comes out.  Riots happen all the time in every single one of your households.  And they happen when you feel like you haven't been heard.  A door slams, a toy gets thrown, someone yells....etc.

Two.  I don't know how much the National Anthem has to do with this.  You have a right in America to not stand during the anthem.  I have even read of many military men and women that would prefer it not be playing at sporting events.  That it's nothing more than a show and not heartfelt.  I've written about this before.  What happens when the act is passed down but the feeling and emotion isn't?  People begin to question the act because they don't understand the why.   Like the chef that always cut his roast in two.  Claiming that his grandmother did it and it cooked the best roast.  When in reality, the large roast didn't fit in grandmas roasting pan.  So she cut it in half and used her two smaller roasting pans.   If you never know why something is repeated, it can lose it's value.   Today's generation is contributing to America in so many different ways than in years past.  I believe you can have a deep respect of America and it's soldiers and veterans without singing or standing to the national anthem.  That respect comes in all varieties.  And I'd much rather have someone give it in a heartfelt way than to fake it.

Back to my point.  What is the deal with the hatred and vitriol spewed at Kaepernick?  I know he may have not chose the correct way to express his thoughts and feelings, but I think he's trying to raise awareness in a nonviolent way.  Something we should be supportive of.  I don't think he did it in the best way.  But really...what is the best way?  Because it seems the only way people pay attention on a large scale is if someone does something really controversial.  But the message intended to be delivered by the action, is lost in the action.   See what's happening here?

I don't think he intended at all to disrespect soldiers that have fought, are fighting and those that have died.

Honestly.  You know who I think is the bigger disrespect to america?  Those throwing insults around. Not just to Kaep.  But to everyone who they disagree with.  Patience, listening, and an attitude to understand is what is needed between Americans.  Let's not create so much division.

food part 2. Calories. FTS.

You've all heard it.  You may have even said it.  Calories in, calories out.  Right?  Even I used to look at how many calories I would burn during exercise and be confident that if I burnt 3,000 calories I would have lost a pound.  I even considered purposely burning 3000 calories a day to lose a pound a day.  Well, that never worked.  I did manage to lose weight.  But mostly because I starved myself and worked out like a fool.

really attractive. what a slob. and not sticking it out. 

About 8 years ago a few friends of mine all decided we were going to do a weight loss challenge.  We were scheduled to go to the beach in September, so approximately 3 months prior we had the initial weigh in.  I remember eating so much mcdonalds that day and drinking about a gallon and a half of water before weigh in having not peed at all.  I weighed in at 211.  Realistically, probably 205 minus the water.  Remember, this was pre-kid days.  Commence 3 months of intense exercise multiple days a week.  Hours a day on occasion.  Severe calorie restriction.   Low fat, mostly veggies, fruits, and lean meats.  Did I feel good?  I guess.  I was losing weight.  I was gonna win.  I was also the one with the least amount of weight to lose.  But dang was it hard work.  Sure enough though, the day of the weight in I had a plan.  It was bright and sunny.  So I sat in the back of my truck that had a cap on it for several hours.  Sweated till there was a river running out of the back.  I weighed in at 176.  I didn't win.   And I still had a gut and no visible 6 pack.

Over the next months and year.  It all came back.  This was the first of several weight loss attempts over the next several years.  I was good at it.  I could lose weight easy.  As long I severely reduced my caloric intake and exercised a lot.  It was never sustainable.  I hated it.  The cravings came all the time.  When someone brought pizza to an event, it was so hard to resist.  Usually after I lost 10-15 pounds I'd be satisfied with my results and ease off the diet.

I've probably lost over 100 pounds doing this.  Through 4 or 5 different weight loss sessions.

Just this past september I was heavier than I've ever been at that point.  Tried to do a weight loss challenge with some friends.  I weighed in at....you guessed it.  211.  I did good for two weeks.  Lost around 7-8 pounds.  But it sucked.  I didn't like the fact I had to eat in moderation.  So I quit.

In May...  I was drinking.  Pretty heavily.  At least a bottle or two of whiskey a week, maybe more. Never at work though, only at night.  As well as beer and wine...eating everything I could find and not caring at all.  Funny thing is...I still thought I was in good shape.  The last I checked the scale I was over 220.  I don't even know how far.  I kept jelly belly's with me at all times.   I would eat a pizza by myself.  Popcorn every night, string cheese, candy....I was on a path to die.  On may 13th I was sitting at Al's of Hampden/Pizza Boy brewing and eating a grilled chicken salad and drinking a beer.   It was that lunch I decided it was time to change.  Commence Keto.  Now....3 months later.  In the same amount of time or less of the challenge I did 8 years ago...I'm down over 35 pounds.  Visible muscle definition and in the best shape of my life.  Doing minimal exercise.  And happy as a clam would be before I'd cover it in butter, wrap it in bacon and eat it.

Three months of Keto.  No plans of stopping. 

So....I was supposed to talk about why calories aren't all created equal.  But I'll save that for tomorrow as part 3.  I will tell you why the best way to lose weight is to cut of your non-dominant arm.  Kidding.  I'm going to tell you that the best way to lose weight is to ditch the carbs and stop counting calories.  That's right, stop counting calories.  The photo on the right is of me in september of 2015.  About to embark on that failed attempt at a weight loss challenge.  Imagine another 10 or so pounds and that's my May weight.  i didn't even take pictures.  I didn't care.  The most recent photos...about 3 weeks ago.  I just got a clean bill of health from the doctors too.  He says I'm boring.  Why do I write all this?  I've seen way to many people have the desire to lose weight and get healthier and have no idea where to start.  They also have no idea what foods do in their bodies.   I had no clue.  Even though I was good at losing weight.  I had still thought a plate full of fruit and veggies would be better for me at weight loss than bacon wrapped cheese sticks smothered in pork rinds and cooked in oil.

Food part 1. Making a change? Start small. Or don't.

I hear it from so many different people.  "I'm going to start exercising" or "I really need to go on a diet".

And then it happens for about a day.  I am here to help you make a lasting change.  But ultimately it's totally on you.

Don't decide that tomorrow you are going to get up an hour early and go run.  Especially if you don't like getting up early.  Even more so if you aren't in the habit of running anyway.  This might work for a day or two.  But if you already don't enjoy getting up early, you will grow to resent running.  Because running is what's getting you up early.  If this is something you want to incorporate, just start by getting up early.  Do something you enjoy.  Maybe just start with going on a walk and see what happens.  Or maybe just brew a cup of coffee and watch sportscenter.  Start scheduling your run during a time when you are already awake.  I'm sure you can find 15 minutes somewhere.

Don't try to go run a 5k your first time running.  Even if you ran that charity 5k 3 years ago.  Just go run for ten minutes.  Don't put a distance goal in front of yourself.

Run in what you are comfortable in.  Last year I ran a lot.  Maybe around 25-40 miles a week all summer.  I stopped in late august due to overuse injury.  This year I wanted to run again.  So I put on my Altra's and my hydration vest and had at it.  About half a mile in I felt like such a doofus.  I went home and left my pack at home knowing I wasn't going to go that far anyway.  About a hundred yards after that, I still felt like a doofus.  So I went home and took my shoes off too.  I got back to my running roots and went out for a barefoot trail run.  Those are my favorite.

Then, once you realize you can wake up earlier and you enjoy running again.  You won't mind getting
up and getting those endorphins going first thing in the morning.  But know that may never happen.  I get up at 5:30 every day with plenty of time to go run.  I even like running.  I still don't like running in the morning.  I don't like doing any physical exercise in the morning. So I don't.  I write.  And drink coffee.  I incorporate my movement  at other times during the day.  But sometimes, even if you don't feel like it, just start.  Don't commit to the full workout.  Just commit to starting.  If you still aren't feeling it after a couple minutes, don't push it.  Sometimes you just need a break.  But if you do get your wings....keep going.  Don't feel bad if you cut it short.  The important part is that you gave it a go, and you learned how to listen to your body.

Tomorrow I'll talk about diet changes and why calorie in calorie out is a total farce.

Honest Leading

First time ever I decided to start this at night rather than in the morning.  But it could get long.  So here we go.

Pastors have shitty jobs.  Seriously.  They have to be perfect.  If they aren't the epitome of holiness and making all the right decisions, they get fired.  Or people will use them as an example of what to do and what not to do.  This isn't fair.  Not at all.  This needs to change.  A pastor should be able to live their life just like you do.  Failures, faults, bad decisions and all.  And they can still be your pastor.  And they don't even need to feel guilt or sorrow about it, just like you.  What if they do something that may influence someone else to do something that may not be good for them?  What if they do something that totally goes against the way they are supposed to be living.  To fulfill some sort of need they feel like they are missing.  Maybe it's a need that can even be fulfilled, had they just asked about it.  Like how to go out and have fun without getting wasted.  Someone could tell them that all they need to do is limit themselves to one drink an hour and always have a water or other non alcoholic beverage.  Something like that.  Hard to find  a good example for where I'm going.  What if they don't read their bible?  What if they don't pray?  What if they don't lift their hands during worship?  What if they don't.....?  What if they do....?

A pastor shouldn't be held in such a regard that they have to live a perfect life.  No one lives a perfect life.  And if they have to hide everything they shouldn't do in case someone else sees them...it isn't healthy.  People need to make their own decisions about their own lives. But ultimately, a pastor cannot make themselves responsible for the success or failure of someones journey of faith.

But even then.  A pastor cares for people.  And he doesn't want any part of his life to possibly encourage someone to make a bad decision.

It's gotta be a tough job.

And it's not just a pastor.  It happens when you fall into a leadership position.  People look to you for advice and encouragement.  There is some pressure to be perfect.  You can feel as though you have a responsibility for the successes and failures of others.  But you don't.  You do your best.   But what if there are people in your "group" that say some things that might encourage or give permission to others to "fall off the path".  Even if that's not what they are doing intentionally, but others might feel that they can loosen up as well.   Then what?  What do you do about that?  People can still make their own decisions.  Do you speak up though?  Do you mention that just because so and so did that doesn't mean it's good for everyone?  Or do you just trust that people will make good decisions for themselves.  I'm leaning towards the fact that you just keep doing your own thing and trusting that you are living an honest example.  And sometimes people will need learn things for themselves.  You can't always keep things to the left of the bang.  That creates stress and guilt on everyone.  And forces people to hide their mistakes.  That's never a good thing.

I totally made this meme.  I'm not happy with it.  But I'm happy with the message.

Real life example.  I've been following a ketogenic diet for 3 and half months now.  In a nutshell, this is eating fat to satiety, enough protein to keep a healthy body, and less than 20g of net carbs per day.  The amount of fat and protein varies from person to person.  Even the types of foods people eat can vary from person to person.  This way of eating has helped many people reverse type 2 diabetes and other metabolic disease.  Not only that, but many other benefits are experienced as well.  Weight loss being one of them.  To date, I've not gone over 20g of net carbs a day.  Is it hard?  Not anymore.  But it was for a few weeks.  But the way I feel now, I've no desire to ever go over 20g of net carbs per day for the rest of my life.  I don't expect you to understand that.  I liked bread, pasta, and beer at one time as well.  It's tough to break up with carbs.

I also moderate a Keto group on Facebook.  I didn't start it, but I was the second person in it.  There are many people in it, all with different goals and different reasons for being on keto.  I know almost every person in the group that is nearing 200 people.  I feel a responsibility for their success.  Especially since a lot  of them are in this group because they knew I achieved success with this way of eating and wanted to start.  Except....I'm not an expert.  I'm only an expert in what has worked for me.  But I do know a little bit, and am learning every day. With Keto, what works for one person may not work for another person.  But there are things that are pretty set.  Like don't eat excessive carbs.  They just won't taste as good as they used to and you'll most likely feel like shit.  And there is a chance you won't come back from what brought you to change your habits in the first place.  So it's hard when someone shares something like a cheat day that they don't feel guilty about that's not part of their dietary plan.  Or if someone posts a food that may be a little carb heavy that I wouldn't eat.   I don't want others to think it's ok to do or eat those things without thinking about how it would effect their health, but I also don't want the person to feel bad about their decision to loosen the reigns for a meal or on a vacation.  It's their journey.  They do theirs, I'll do mine, and everyone else will do their own as well.  I'm not responsible for your success.  I may not always have all the answers.  I may not always give you the right answer.  I may give you the right answer for me, but it won't work for you.  I gave up artificial sweeteners for a month and you may not need too.  I may not have needed too!  Neither one of us is right or wrong. But you know what?  We're a community of people that want to better their lives and encourage others to do the same.  And if anyone looks to me as a beacon of keto perfection....keep looking.  Even if I am pretty close.  You have to figure out the way to continue amidst the sea of carbs at the restaurant and grocery store that you don't need.   And many of your family and friends that don't understand what you are eating and why you are giving up breads, pastas and beer.   They'll tell you it's unhealthy.  But rest assured, I'll be there to support you and so will all the other people in the group.

Thanks for reading through this very long blog.  Even though it transitioned into me talking some things out for me.  This stuff is applicable to many different areas of life.

Man steps into lions den to help a cub. You won't believe what happens next.

Mama lion totally destroys that man.  Rips him to shreds and feeds him to the baby lions.  Injured lion dies in a few days because, survival of the fittest.

Ever wish this is how those videos or stories would end?  Instead of the ones that have the mama lion and human working together to help the baby.  This is totally unrealistic.  Humans and lions would never work so well together to help someone in need.

You know how I know that?  Humans and humans can't even work well together to help other humans in need.

I'm just kidding, most humans work well together.

Anyway.  I'm struggling today.  I don't have much to go off of today.  I feel good.  I'm like the boring blogger anymore.  Nothing exciting to see here.  Although I'd love to sound off and say something to the effect of....wait...I got something.

Ok.  No I don't.  I really just want to go back to Haiti.  ASAP.  But it looks like February will be my next trip.  Want to go along?  Not sure how many spots are open.  That's over 5 months away.  Longest I've ever been away since going.

More right and less wrong

Last night, my son was putting on his PJ's.  Like I asked him to do.  He wasn't happy I turned his tv show off, but went up and got ready for bed anyway.  He's 2 months shy of 5.  He gets up in the morning, dresses himself, goes pee and comes down and entertains himself. The kid does a good job at self sustaining so far.

Anyway.  He was having trouble with his PJ shirt.  I looked and it wasn't inside out and it looked as though he was doing fine.  I told him he knew how to do it and he should keep trying.  He was still having trouble, but he wasn't really trying to put it on.  He asked again if it was right.  I finally told him that it was right and that if it was wrong I would have told him.  And that's when the hammer dropped.

Why would I only tell him if it was wrong?  He was doing it all right and he asked on the last step if it was right, waiting for the approval from dad that he had done it all right.  And I failed to deliver.

How many times to we fail to deliver.  People so desperately want to be ackknowledged for the work they do right.  Even if we know they know how to do it.  So many times all we ever point out is when people get it wrong.  Most of the time, it's out of good intent.  We want them to know they are wrong so they can make it right.  But that's not how it works.

It's like those people that only show up on Facebook when they disagree with someone you said.  Or when you said something wrong.  They rear their ugly words and make sure you know what you said was wrong.  But all the good things you said....not ackknowledged one bit.

I struggle with giving approval.  It's hard to do.  Most people that think they don't need to give approval, most likely desperately need some themselves.  I know this...because that was me.  You can be confident about your own stuff and not "need" approval or acknowledgment, but when you get it....wow, it's like a drug.  If you don't get it, you always feel like you will be nudged out of first place if you compliment someone else.   When you do get it...compliments and encouragement flow into you...and they also flow out freely.

Did he really just say that?

THAT.  Yes I did.


THAT.  I said that again.


I got up earlier today than usual.  But I spent some much time on Facebook interacting with friends.  Yes.  Social media and technology is a different way of interacting.

You see so many memes with people on their phones at the dinner table or eating breakfast.  Like this is some sort of bad thing.  But how many times 20 years ago were everyones head shoved in a newspaper, magazine or even the kids reading the cereal box.  

See what I mean?  People read newspapers and magazines.  Head down, ignoring the world.  Or maybe you forgot.  And that was only a one sided conversation.  At least now, someone on their phone can actually communicate with whatever or whomever they are interacting with.  Whether it's responding to an article, blogging about that article or texting to a friend.

And at home...parents did this to their kids too.  They sat on the couch and read the paper while the kids played.

And that's all for the day.  Duty calls.  I'm going to make some killer pancakes for my wife.  Peace out Y'all.  Pick your head up and say hi to someone close by!

Body Shaming and how you've been lied to about food.

So hard to find a good meme for body shaming that isn't over the top mean one way or the other.  It's crazy...all these memes saying to stop body shaming or often putting down others in the process.

It was suggested to me that I write about the naked Donald Trump statues that were placed around.  I'll be honest.  I haven't read much about it.  And I don't know much about body shaming.  So I'm gonna write about it.  But remember..i'm not an expert.  This is how I understand things.  I might be wrong.  But when it gets to the food part.  It seems to be working pretty well for me and many others I know.

So, if you haven't see them and would like to look, there were several statues of Donald Trump erected is several large cities.  They were incredibly popular with many people stopping for photos.  Some would say more popular than Trump himself.  But others were upset.  Some said that body shaming is NEVER ok.  Even if it is Trump.  Who's body shaming?  I didn't hear anyone shame him.  The dude is overweight.  That's his choice*.  I'm not sure if the statues were to scale or not.  I'm not even sure what the point of these statues were.  Quite honestly...I don't really care one bit about them.  I've heard some nasty things come out of Trump's mouth regarding different people groups.  So if someone fired back with a naked statue, whatever.  Have at it. Continue to make a mockery of the presidential election.  It already is.  But these statues...in my opinion...are not body shaming.  I can put a drink on the table....you decide if you want to drink it or not.

Do you know what body shaming is?  Anytime we think a body type is "normal" and judge another based on that normal.  We tell someone they are too fat or too skinny.  In reality...we don't even know what a "healthy body" looks like.  If we saw someone that was fit and lean with 6-7% body fat they would appear to skinny.  But what if everyone looked like that?  They aren't skinny.  In fact...if anything was "natural"  this would probably be it.

Before I go on.  How do you feel?  Physically, mentally, emotionally.   If you feel great, awesome.  The rest of this blog is not for you.  But be honest with yourself.   How do you feel about the way you look?  How about how active you are?  If you aren't happy...Don't be discouraged.  If you feel bad or unhappy with the current state of your body, odds are, you didn't do anything wrong.  You've most likely been either lied to or never really understood how food and exercise work.  And...dare i say, you were a victim of money hungry assholes that would rather get rich then help your overall health.  And odds are....they've been lied to as well.  I'm not here to say you and you alone are responsible for how you look or feel about it.  Food is a drug.  Well, it acts like a drug.  I loved my food.  Still do.  Just found some new ones to love.  Like bacon wrapped shrimp doused in butter.

Ok...financial people.  What do the experts say?  Learn how to make your money work for you!  Let your money make you more money.  Food is similar.  Learn how to make your foods work for you!  Learn how what to eat and when to eat to produce weight loss.  Don't want to lose weight?  No problem.  Eating properly has many other benefits.  Which I won't go into.  This blog is already long. Do you have type 2 diabetes?  Don't like taking medications...listen up.  Listen to these 2 dudes. They've been incredibly helpful in my keto journey.

Yes...I've lost almost 40 pounds over the past 3 months.  I've never been as physically fit in my life.  I've been eating Fat.  Yes. Fat.  But wait...fat is bad for you.  No.  It's not.  You know what is bad for you?  Not caring what you eat.  Fat, Carbs, Sugar, protein...all of it.  You think you will lose weight on exercise alone?  Nope.  Won't happen.  You can't out exercise a bad diet.   The key to weight loss starts in what you eat and what you don't eat.

Here's the big catch.  What we eat and our gut health plays a role in our mental health.  A lot of the foods that we eat seasonally, their smells and tastes trigger the pleasure sensors in our minds and help us feel good.  But then that food goes to our gut and does the opposite.  Except later..after the food...we don't associate that shitty feeling with the food.  So to fix it...we might eat more comfort food.  And the cycle begins.  Exercise might help us feel better mentally, but it won't help with how we feel when looking at the scale.

Ok...this is getting confusing.  There are so many competing responses by our minds and bodies when it comes to food.   And changing your dietary habits is HARD!  Really hard!  We associate food and experiences that contain food to how we feel mentally.  And lets be honest...we care more about how we feel mentally than physically.  But the two are so related....you can't pick one or the other.  Otherwise you'll be fighting that battle forever.

And please...don't compare to others.  I know some very fit and lean people that don't exercise much but can eat whatever they want.  Don't be confuses...lower weight doesn't always mean healthy.  Heavier people doesn't always mean healthy.  EVERYONE is different.  Everyone has a different metabolism.  And even your metabolism can change.   But one thing that is very similar is how the macronutrients in food respond in your body.  This is the key to losing weight.

FAQ's  Check them out here.

Again...I've been accused of victimizing carbs.  I'm not saying carbs are the enemy.  But carbs...they are like alcohol.  Too much.....is not a good thing.  Hey...too much fat isn't a good thing either.  I have yet to over consume fat.  It's really hard to do.  Stuff is filling.

It's a new leaf.

Here's my blog today.  Not because I didn't get up early enough.  Not because I don't have something to write.  I was going to write about churches having a "dream team".  How you'd be "wicked" awesome as opposed to just being awesome if you lead certain things.  But it would be rather passive.  Of course that never stopped me before.  I'm not criticizing as much as I am observing and perspecting.  And I actually plan on writing about being passive aggressive tomorrow.  Most people don't know what it means...maybe even I don't.

So instead....I'll save that for tomorrow...it's Sunday tomorrow.  And today, you can read this again.  OR you can read it for the first time.

In case you missed it yesterday.

A whole new philosophy

So about a week and half ago I got a new coffee maker.  It's a bonavita something or other.  But it's got a thermal carafe.  I'm not a fan of the carafe.  But it's thermal and it doesn't get hot.  Every morning I brew up a pot, pour it in a mug and come downstairs.  I usually finish it within a few minutes and either go back up or just wait till I'm done writing and go up for another.  But today....oh sweet today.  I brought the carafe downstairs with me.  What a genius idea.

And you know what.  There was no mother fucking airstrike to destroy my house and family.  All I did was bring my thermal carafe from my $100 dollar coffee maker downstairs.  And it brews one of the finest pots of coffee I've ever had.

Aleppo.  Do you know Omran?  I'm not going to exploit his picture.  He didn't ask for that.  But you know what?  It's bringing attention to how bad the war is in syria.  And you wonder why people are fleeing?  This is why!  Children are DYING.  And you're sipping coffee out of your damn thermal carafe you piece of shit.  (yes, i'm quite hard on myself). Though I did nothing to cause it, and quite frankly I can't do much/if anything to help.   I can't be depressed that I was born here in america.  All Omran did was be born in the wrong country at the wrong time.

What do you do about it?  I don't know.  Be kind to people.  Be kind to yourself.  Imagine being in this situation with your children.  With your loved ones.  And wanted nothing more to get out!  And you have a presidential candidate that is making a joke of it.  Keep them out!  What a heartless prick.

4 years of conflict.  200,000 plus massacred.  There are lots of places to donate.  I know...put my money where my mouth is.  I just took a 5 minute hiatus to do just that.  Do I feel better?  Yeah.  Cause I did something.  It won't fix it all....but it will at least give the people on the ground a little boost that people over here in america care enough to give.  God damn...i paid more for my coffee maker.  Son of a bitch.  Might as well donate again.  You see how stupid the things you spend money on seem when you see photos like this.

Olympic swimmer loses shorts

Probably, at some point in their life.  They lost their shorts.  Maybe in the laundry, maybe at the gym. Who knows?

I have no verifiable proof that an olympic swimmer lost their shorts.  I just wanted a semi-provocative headline.

My jury is still out on the olympics.  With all good things, there is a cost.  But often times you must figure out if it's worth it or not.  I know there is a lot of negative views on the Olympics being in rio.

But is the quest to prove that you are the best in the world worth it?  What's the point of being the best there ever was?  What is the cost of being the best in the world?  What is the cost of attempting to be the best and coming in 4th place?  I guess most of these athletes are young..and have the rest of their lives.

But at the end of the day...I guess there are positives.  The stories that come out are pretty cool.  The team of refugees, no flag, no country...just talent.  A record number of women athletes in the games.  And a record number of openly LGBT athletes as well.  Note...Open.  They've always been there, just not allowed or welcomed to share their story.  And then that guy in lane 8, Wayde van Neikirk.  Destroyed Michael Johnsons 400m record.  And the Simones.  So, there are a lot of cool storylines.

I'm not saying I'm anti-olympics.  With all good things..there is a cost. The overwhelming majority of these athletes make less than $12,000 a year.  Some far less.  Who is supporting them?  How are they getting by?  All these stories...would be awesome to hear.  Let's talk about that part of training too.

And lets talk about what goes on behind the scenes.  Vila Autodromo was a healthy place to live in Rio.  No where near the violence in that community.  In less than two years....it's population has "shrunk" from 550 families....to 47 and counting.   This among many other situations in rio that makes you wonder...why in the world did they pick Rio?   I know it's not the olympics job to solve hundreds of years of social problems.  I'm just thinking outloud.

I'm just asking.  It's always been hard for me to enjoy "stuff" and comfortable living since seeing poverty.

Is it possible to be comfortable knowing people all around the world are living in poverty that is inescapable.  Even if you do well for yourself in those situations, others can't.  It's got to be exhausting.

So what do you do?  If we see our thirsty neighbors and do not offer them one of our 6 bottles of water, what good is that for humanity?

These are not the blogs I like writing.  Or the topics I even like thinking about.  But I can't ignore it.

I do this every day.

Why do you read it?

I've been thinking about that a lot.

I can only imagine....

What's Jon writing about this morning?

What's on Jon's mind this morning?

What's Jon feeling like this morning?

What's red and bad for your face?

A brick.

What current event is Jon going to give his perspective on this morning?

What think about Christianity is Jon pissed about this morning?

What can I disagree with about Jon this morning?

What can I learn from Jon this morning?

What can I teach Jon this morning?

I do this with my coffee mug
Every time I open the lid 

Why do I write every morning? 

Why do I post it on Facebook? 

Do people even care?

Why would people want to read what you write?

I know how many people read this, why don't more people click the "like" button?

Should I ask them to hit the "like"button?

No.  If they like it, they'll hit the like button? 

Keep this thing a grass roots effort. 

Why do you write every morning? 

Do you have any long term goals here? 

If you want to get better at writing, you'll have to do some more work besides writing. 

You're not that good of a writer.  

But damn, son.  That brain of yours doesn't stop.  

Why did the blog you titled, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" get the most reads? 

Do you even remember what it was about?  

Do you even remember what you wrote about this morning?  (seriously...sometimes I don't)

I do this as much for you as I do for me.  It started with getting my head cleared out at the beginning of every morning.  And it worked.  It's helped.  Then sometimes it feels like I have to put something out just to keep those that read it happy. I know many said I've become part of their daily routine.  Cool.  I think.  You know what I really want....I want people to find the thing that makes them come alive.  The thing they can do that picks them up off the floor and move.  And share that with the world.  We need more people doing the things that brings them joy, and sharing it. 

What I really want...is to hear your story.  Seriously.  That's why this blog is called Stories of Secrets. Do you have something you want to get off your chest?  Something that you'd love to share with the world?  Just to know that someone else knows?  It can be anonymous.  But I'd love to be the vehicle that puts it out there.  If it gives you some sort of relief knowing you don't have to keep a secret anymore.  I'll know who you are...unless you have a way of getting it to me anonymously.  Send something to my Facebook inbox...."for a friend".  

Living on Prayer

I'm going to give myself a time limit this morning.  35 minutes.  Included in that is searching for meme that's not hurtful to people that believe in the power of prayer.  People could write books about prayer.  Oh wait....lots of people make money writing books about prayer.  Or should I say writing books about something that they'll never understand or grasp.  So people spend money and people make money learning and teaching about something they'll never fully understand.  

Let me start by saying...I'm not criticizing anyone's prayer life.  I just don't understand prayer anymore.  What does prayer actually do?  

Let me take you on a little journey into history.  When I used to pray, when I would do it and imagine blue beams of light coming from the sky and imagining those being God and that blue beam of light encircled whomever I was praying for.  Like when I would pray for the kids in our orphanages in Haiti, I would imagine those blue beams of light.  But then I really thought..what are my prayers doing?  Is god going to treat them any differently if I prayed or not?  Little old me?  There are lots of others praying for them too.  And even if nobody was...they are Gods children.  Why would God do them wrong?  But they were God's children when their family was taken from them.  Their family members were God's children too.  The whole country is full of God's children.  The whole world is....and here we are.  Pain and suffering.  Joy and Happiness.  Wealth and poverty.  Assholes and Saints.  Do our prayers really do anything for others?  Especially when they don't even know we are praying for them?  

I've come to the conclusion...at least for now...prayer is only for the one praying.  And for those that pray in front of the church...it's for them too.  That's it.  I don't believe that God acts like a Satellite.  We pray and that pray bounces off God and lands on someone in another area of the world.  I think prayer changes our brains.  If we pray for the same thing everyday...example...awareness of the needs around us.  We'll start seeing needs around us because we are teaching ourselves that through daily repetition of saying....Help me see the needs around me.  

I've also seen some pretty strange things happen in my own life.  Yet still...all these things weren't "supernatural".  But dang...they sure were close to feeling like I was being guided....but....like the words in the Beautiful Eulogy song..."Symbols and Signs" 

"But don't you find it interesting

How most of the time

Your self-interpreting seems to coincide

With what's deep inside

Your heart's desires

Seems rather convenient, doesn't it?"

I think prayer lives in the subconscious.  We speak what we want.  And maybe even we start to act in ways to bring what we want to existence...And when it happens, it was an answered prayer.  Was it?  Or was it just you doing to work but you didn't even realize it.  Or are you just more open to see what was already there.  

Prayer isn't an excuse to do nothing.  In fact...if you don't have any intention of getting involved in what you are praying for...don't even pray for it.  Unless you know that your prayer is only to bring you peace knowing you can't do anything.  Even better...learn to live in the place of being where you know you CAN'T do anything.  And that's ok.  

See, this meme says I'm right
where I should be.  So if you
think i've gone and fell off
my christian rocker, you've no
 need to worry.  

My biggest pet peeve....when people tell me they'll pray for me.  That they've been praying for me.  I get messages quite a bit actually of people telling me they are praying for me.  Mostly because they see some of the things I write.  I usually tell them their prayers aren't doing shit or they are working really well!  Because I've never been in a better place in my life.  Even with some depression symptoms still lingering...like the hit I took yesterday.  I'm doing great.  So keep those prayers coming.  OH....but I say things that aren't "godly".  I question christianity and prayer.  I think church is hugely flawed and have no qualms talking about it and claiming talking is also doing.  Sort of like you...your prayer is doing...like my talking is doing.  Raise awareness right?  

Again...If you are the praying type...keep at it.  Seriously.  I'm not saying it doesn't work.  I'm not saying it does.  I just think it doesn't work in the ways we think it does.  I think it's more science than supernatural.  But then people say God is in the science.  Ok...sure.  

What about when a prayer doesn't get answered....must not have been God's plan.  Why pray in the first place then.  If God is going to do what God is going to do, why pray?  Maybe that was God's design...prayer was part of a daily habit to help us change our own minds about the world.  Not for God to supernaturally interact.  

Again...i'm not criticizing prayer.  If you pray...awesome.  I don't.  Not anymore.  I think.  I write.  Maybe this is my prayer.  I'm saying it's not as simple as I thought it was.  Or maybe it is.  

BONUS TIME.  I just found this meme.  I know for a fact that there are people that will say in regards to this last one.  YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ALL THOSE ADVANCEMENTS IF NOT FOR THOSE THAT PRAY.  

Shouldn't have done it

Yeah...I stumbled across a Matt Walsh blog about the shooting that happened in Milwaukee two nights ago.

And then I read an story written by a man who was horrendously treated by cops in front of his 7 year old daughter for doing NOTHING WRONG.  The rental car company screwed up the tags on the car and as a result...the cop treated the man like shit, threatening to put two bullets in his back.  THIS.  THIS is why people are rioting.  When stuff like that happens.  It is absolutely infuriating when someone does nothing but comply, is threatened to be murdered, has a gun pointed at him and his daughter, thrown on the ground, cuffed and thrown in the back of a squad car.  And then when the officers learned it was all a mistake....well, the man made a threatening move towards his waist.  EXACTLY WHERE YOU KEEP YOUR WALLET AND ID.

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE RIOT.  BECAUSE OF TREATMENT LIKE THIS.

Matt Walsh - "No, you can't look for sanity or coherence here. These are just a bunch of imbeciles looking for an excuse to burn things. Nothing more. If they start up again tonight, I hope the police arrest every last one of them.
Enough. We have laws in this country. You can't act like an animal without consequences. Syville Smith learned that lesson yesterday."

A bunch of imbeciles.

Lets look inside the home...when children throw a fit....what happens?  We pay attention.  All of the sudden parents listen.  But they are usually mad that the kid threw a fit.  Why do kids throw a fit?  Most likely because they were trying to get our attention about something because we weren't paying attention.  And now we are mad at them because we weren't paying attention and they threw a fit....think about it.

PAY ATTENTION TO THAT MATT WALSH.  This riot is NOT ABOUT SYVILLE SMITH.

When people get frustrated.  When they feel like nothing will change....

We just don't always do things the "right" way.  The left brain...the bully brain...wants to make everything logical, correct and in line.  It deals in logic.  The right way and the wrong way.  It has to have an answer. When you are sitting in a coffee shop and someone is trying to teach you how to mountain bike...the left brain is saying...this is stupid.  We are in a coffee shop, I don't even have a mountain bike.  The right brain is enjoying a loose grip on the handlebars, feet sticking to a nice set of flats, soaking up the rocks and roots, while hitting sweet rollovers, drops and jumps.

There is a mass confusion in our brains when we feel attacked.  When we are at wits end and want attention.  Or our fight or flight mechanism kicks in.  What does slamming doors, throwing toys, empty treats do?  Makes you feel powerful.  Makes you feel like you have your parents attention.  The same way burning a car, looting a store and setting things on fire does.  It makes you feel like you have the power...for once.  No.  It's not the right way to bring change.  So....

What can we do about it.  Listen.  Apologize for not paying attention in the past.  Listen some more.  Recognize how we've contributed to the problems.

Stop being a pretentious white prick.

Run or Comply, either way you die. FTS

The names in this situation are made up.  The problems are real.  The actual story may or may not happen this way...but lets think for a minute.  I was reading about the riots and protests that are happening in Milwaukee right now because two men fled from a traffic stop, one with a gun, and was shot dead by police.  Many are saying...good for the police, he had a gun and didn't stop.  He should have listened.  Please don't compare my comparisons directly to whatever just happened in Milwaukee.  Even thought they are similar.  I don't know all the facts.  I'm not making a villain out of  all police.   Please don't make villains out of all black people.


Jake is young black man.  He knows the tension is high right now.  For him, tension has always been high.  Being looked at just a little bit different because he dresses and talk a little differently.  His culture is just a little bit different.  As Jake grows up and sees violence, he does what anyone else does, gets a gun.  Jake gets a gun the way a lot of other people do.  They buy a used one.  As far as I know, in Wisconsin you can buy a handgun from a private seller.  Why not trust a private seller?  Jake is a seemingly nice guy that needs a handgun for protection.

   *Sidebar, I'm gonna lose my shit on this one.  But how many times do I hear, why does that black man need a gun?  The same reason all the white guys need guns.  Why is there a difference in your mind?  

So Jake gets a gun.  Jake is nice guy.  Jake just wants to live his life the way he see's both the black people and the white people living.  But one night...Jake and his friend were having fun, doing what people having fun do.  But...their fun looked suspicious.  So the police stopped them and they ran.  And Jake, got shot and killed.

But why run?  When you live in a time period when you think you have a better chance of running then trying to work compliantly with police, that's a problem.  Especially when you've seen videos surface of black men like you being shot being compliant and running?  JAKE WAS SCARED.  His worst nightmares were coming true.  His flight mechanism kicked in.  NOT HIS FIGHT.  Especially if you've just bought a gun earlier that year and it's something you didn't really want to do, but felt like you needed to.  And you had that gun on you.  And what you didn't know...it that gun was stolen.

But..I don't even want to say Jake is totally innocent.  But all he did was run.  He was scared.  He knows how tense racial relations are right now.  And remember...guns don't kill people.  Imagine if we treated EVERYONE with a gun like a criminal.  And any suspicious behavior they exhibited they could be shot.  Suspicious is objective...and suspected doesn't mean guilty.  And now that Jake is dead...and they learned the gun was stolen.  They can "assume" he stole it and his death was warranted.

BULLSHIT.

People need to understand.  The protests and riots aren't happening for Jake.  They are happening for the hundreds of thousands of those like Jake.  Of the systematic racism and oppression that's been happening ever since we've come to America.  Yes...it is getting better.  But it should be GONE by now.  GONE.  But it's not...and people are pissed.  Rightly so.  Are riots the right way?  Probably not.  But people listen when someone breaks shit.   Is shooting a fleeing man holding a gun who only "appeared suspicious" acceptable.  NO.  

Maintaining the streak. Like braveheart.

Yeah. We aren't home. Yes. I still was awake at 5:30. Bringing you today's edition of what's in my head.  I'm in a lobby of a hotel that's anything but peaceful. Everything else about our little weekend has been splendid. My wife took charge of decisions and I can along as a wingman. It was awesome.  Anyway, the news is on. The tv volume is up and loud. Sounds like a tin can. I HATE horrible audio quality. It hurts my ears.

I shall go on a walk now.

Let me tell you about a meme I saw. It said "a civilization that spends more money on war then it does on education and peace is anything but civil."  I saw one guy jump in and start talking about that the only way to beat radical Islam is war.  Ok, but that's not what the meme was about. Lots of arguing happened, names were called, tempers flared and no one listened to each other.  The most productive thing....the ones reading the interaction formed opinions based on what they read.

Anyway. I want to remind people that even in the greatest of movies, braveheart. What was one of the key opening lines. Argyle says to young William, "First, i'll teach you to use this (mind), then I'll teach you to use this (sword)!"

Education first. Then swords if need be. I'm not advocating violence as much as education. I wonder often if we have slowly moved to a strike first, thing later mindset.  But even in our favorite movies....educate first.  

Sorry. This ones scattered. No keyboard. All phone. Distracted. Must. Get. More. Coffee.

This Choice is a no brainer.

Go HERE.   And read about Baby Johanna. 

Did you drink a coffee this morning?  Spend another dollar and save a child just like Johanna.  IT'S ONE DOLLAR A DAY.  I bet if you rounded up all the spare change from your daily purchases you could have a dollar and not even realize it.  This is for a pediatric clinic ran by friends I know personally.  I have put paint on the walls of this clinic, I have held and played with kids that will use the services of this clinic.  

Long and short....the hospitals in the area have closed.  There is an influx of patients to the clinic.  Most can pay...but it's not enough to pay the staff.  This is great ministry.  It's not even a ministry.  It's people that don't want others to suffer and/or die.  Please help.  

Go HERE. And sign up to be a monthly donor.  Or make a one time donation.  A big one.  You know you have the extra money.  

Here's what happens...people think...well I don't have $30 extra per month.  But, I could maybe do 15.  DO 15!!! PLEASE!!!  I'd rather see 6 people giving $5 dollars a month rather than nobody giving nothing.  

See...this blog could have been shorter.  But I can think of so many reasons and ways you could EASILY carve out $30 a month.