And We're Baaaaaack.

Something I found interesting.  For some reason all my posts about church have more hits than the ones about things other than church.  By a considerable margin.  If you enjoy reading them, don't hesitate to share.  you never know who will resonate with the same things.

I'm not really gonna talk about church today.  But I will be listening to a few podcasts today, so maybe I'll get some good talking points.

Let me ask you this though.  What if you didn't go for a sunday?  Just to not go.  What would you feel?  I think that's an important question to ask.  I used to feel guilty.  Why?  I'm not sure. Sometimes I would feel as though others would miss me. This wasn't true, because I've been gone for over a year and only 2 or 3 people have asked where I've been.  And 2 or 3 is a generous number.  Sometime I would feel as though I was letting God down.  Trust me...you aren't.  If God was to be let down, I can assure you've already done that whether or not you skip church.  But God is not disappointed in you.

They say belief in a higher power can help lift people out of a lot of dark situations.  But what if you can't believe in a higher power?  What if you aren't convinced?  What hope is there for you?  Well, if you've made it this far and you've come to the conclusion there is no higher power, guess what? There never was (I'm not saying that definitively, but situationally).  And you've made it this far on your own and with the help of others.  But mostly on your own.  That's no small feat.  You do have some strength.  And if you've made it this far, you can keep going higher power or not.  Maybe you are the higher power.  Maybe you've finally got to the point where you realize that you have what it takes.  I feel like an atheist Joel Osteen.  I believe in you.

Sometimes when other say shit like I just did.  About believing in you, it can feel like a burden.  Like, "Great, now if I'm not good enough I'll be letting them down too."  It's not like that.  But it feels like that.  Like there is some sort of expectation to do something.  Sometimes we place a huge burden on ourselves that we aren't doing enough.  That we're not good enough.  Well, you are.  And then when I say "YOU ARE ENOUGH", that doesn't always sit well either.

Therapists, Psychiatrists, medication, exercise, diet, and so many other things might help you if you can't shake the voices in your head tell you that you aren't enough.  The ones that say you aren't good enough.  That nobody likes you.  Well, they are lies.  I can assure you.  They seem very very real, but they are not.  You get really good at convincing yourself.  And even worse, if you grew up in the church you start playing mind games with God.  What's God trying to teach me?  How can I feel this way if I have Jesus in my heart?  And then it just gets even more and more complicated in your head and often makes it worse.  God doesn't play games like that.  God's not trying to teach you anything.  What kind of sick twisted God would see his child in pain and hurt and continue to confuse them?  If I did believe in a God, it wouldn't be an asshole like that.

We can do some crazy things with our brain.  It's VERY complex.  But there are things we can do to retrain our brain.  It's worth looking into.