We played a game that was much like taboo or catchphrase. Everyone wrote down 5 names and put them in a basket. Then we went around and tried to get our team to guess who the person was. There were a few rules to follow, but otherwise pretty simple.
Now, if anyone knows me they know I have a tendency to get very competitive and overly fair. By fair, I mean no exceptions to any of the rules. The other team became less than human. It never made for good game play. But I didn't know how to turn it off. This time I really tried to reign it in. I think I did pretty good. Although there was one moment where we could only say one word to try to get our team to guess the name. This was round 2. I pulled marilyn monroe and said, "um" or something to that effect. Well, that is a rule. UM counts as your word and you can't say any other words or skip the card. The timer started. No grace for someone that has not played the game before and was seemingly innocent. The rule keepers were preying on someone with a habit. One that takes a long time to fix, if they even can. For some people, the word "um" helps them produce brain activity. I couldn't believe they were going to hold to the rule. And I felt it. I felt the Hulk birth inside of me and in fierce ferociousness I said we'd take a zero and I passed the basket to next person. I didn't want it back. Those were the rules and if they wanted to keep the rules, fine. That was my last ditch effort to try to make rule keepers feel like shit for enforcing such a stupid rule. As hard as I was trying to not be that guy, I became the victim of who I used to be. It sucked the fun right out of the game. And it took all I had to actually do a do over. I didn't ask for one. Nor did I want one. It's telling now that I think about it. I have a hard time accepting grace. Now, if a bunch of name guessing veterans were playing with non-biased referees it may be a different story. It was a glimpse at how I used to play games. And it wasn't fun.
But throughout the game I did have a say in some of the gameplay. Was hound dog one word or two? I say two. According to google auto complete it is two. But we let it slide as one word. What I did last night was question. When someone else had an infraction, I questioned, presented a point, and let the jury decide. I had no final stance one way or another but I did find myself on the grace side of people innocently breaking the rules.
And then it dawned on me. That's what I've been doing. Seeing something I see as an infraction. And I question it. I present how I view it and feel about it, but not making a final decision of judgement for all to hold to. I put my thoughts on the matter out there and you get to decide how you feel. We may even disagree, and that's ok. We can still be friends. But depending on whatever "infraction" that is, it may create tension. But we are all humans and our brains are all wired a little differently and there needs to be a place that allows discussion and explanation. It gets tricky though, when those beliefs or thought processes effect the lives of others in unfair ways.
That being said. I have many friends that work in churches. The last thing I want is for them to feel as though I think negatively of them. I don't. I'm just questioning. And honestly, it's what a number of these people have said that really opened up the doors for me to question. That's the way it should be. They believe in a God big enough that can handle little old me. They believe in a God big enough to clean up any damage I do.
But in doing the questioning and doubting, I have to be open to someone asking about certain things I believe and why I do what I do. And often times, the hardest questions, come from yourself to yourself.
Don't you think God's big enough to handle the questions?
I was going to go down the "the rule keepers were preying on someone with a habit" road. But I'll save that.
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